A/N: Just a bit of silliness because my muse seems to have taken a vacation (or maybe I accidentally packed her into a box for my move...out on my own for the first time, by the way...yeah, I'm freakin' out...)
Disclaimer: I don't own Suits or The Backstreet Boys...but OMG I loved those guys when I was twelve...still do actually...
"Harvey, Donna said you wanted to see me," Mike breezed through the doors to Harvey's office already talking. Harvey didn't even spare him a comment about knocking, in fact, he didn't spare him a glance. "I'm almost finished with the research for the Torres trial but I can't find-"
"Don't care, come here."
Mike frowned, gesturing at the file in his hand.
"But you said-"
"Still don't care. Come." Harvey said again, not even looking up from his computer.
Mike rolled his eyes at the dog-like command but did as he was told, tossing the file on Harvey's annoyingly clean desk and rounding to the other side to stand beside his boss. He frowned at Harvey's concentrated look.
"Are you trying to finish a Sudoku puzzle again?" He smirked, leaning down to see the screen better. It was just a plain white screen with black lettering and a blue header on top and an ad for an MMORPG.
"What is this?" Mike squinted, furrowing his brows as he took a closer look. "My performance review?" He guessed before dismissing the idea. He'd caught his name several times after his first quick scan of the page, but there had also been line and dialogue breaks, so that couldn't be it.
Harvey grunted and leaned in closer, scrolling down on the page. Mike glanced at him. Harvey was more tense than Mike was used to seeing and his face a bit redder than usual. There was also that vein pulsating near his temple that usually indicated Harvey was teetering dangerously on the line between genuinely annoyed to full blown indignation.
"Well what is it then?" Mike asked again, reading closer. "Transcripts of our conversations?" he guessed, then his eyes widened. "No, I definitely would have remembered saying that."
When Donna returned from lunch she sauntered casually over to her desk, holding a take-out cup in one hand and scanning emails on her iphone and humming a tune she couldn't remember the name of. She'd just deposited her purse and scarf at her desk when she glanced into Harvey's office.
She frowned at the sight of Mike and Harvey both hunched at Harvey's desk, a lap top in front of them both and their heads bent low in conversation, squinting at their respective screens.
Ordinarily she would not have given the sight two thoughts, but the looks of intense alarm and confusion and maybe a hint of fear and irritation was something she was not used to.
"Everything alright in here, boys?" She asked carefully, trying to gauge their reactions as she entered the office.
Harvey blinked at his screen and never looked up. His suit jacket was thrown across the back of the chair and he was leaned forward over his keyboard, it looked like he hadn't moved in hours.
"Donna," Mike said, moving to nearly stand and then sitting back down again. His eyes bounced between the screen and her several times before he could speak again. "You...they...I..."
"Spit it out, kid."
And spit it out, he did.
"Have you ever heard of fanfiction?"
Donna blinked and then looked at Harvey, taking in the pinched, concentrated look on his face and then looked at Mike and the wild, panicky look on his. Understanding dawned like a new day.
"Well, nice of you two to finally catch on," Donna said sounding just a bit smug and settled herself into one of the chairs facing Harvey's desk.
At her words Harvey's eyes came up for the first time and they locked on hers.
"What?" He said, his voice coming out in a hoarse, dangerous whisper.
She smiled serenely.
"It's been going on for a while now."
She canted her head to one side and gave him a 'you outta know better' look. "I'm Donna."
"But-but Donna," Mike sputtered, looking at his computer and then at her. "They shrink me. De-age or whatever. Do you have any idea how disturbing it is to read about yourself as a three year old? I can't even use the bathroom by myself."
Donna smiled, remembering that one, and shook her head in amusement.
"It's not funny! I'm hanging all over Rachel in half of them and, believe me, that ship has sailed, got caught in a hurricane and sunk in the middle of the Atlantic somewhere," Mike was rambling, of course, but it seemed to be therapeutic for the kid so Donna let him go on, "And apparently I'm the least coordinated bike rider on the freaking planet because the number of times I've been hit by a car, hit a car or just plain fallen off is a little ridiculous."
He shook his head, eyes staying glued to their spots on the screen. "I've been mugged over thirty times, been in the hospital close to two hundred times and the bills for that shit would break even Harvey! I'm drunk half the time, the other half I'm getting high because someone was mean to me and if I read about myself crying one more time I'm gonna throw myself out the window," Donna got up and strode toward him, calmly removing the laptop from Mike's hands, but the kid kept right on going.
"I've had dislocated joints, flashbacks, been shot, stabbed, beaten to a pulp, had a stalker, went on a bad trip on LSD, turned into a vampire, a dog, been given siblings, had friends die, been hazed to within an inch of my life by the other associates, allergic reactions, asthma, energy drink overdoses, exhaustion induced fainting and fevers, my place had been burnt down, collapsed and apparently I spend more time on Harvey's couch than I do in my own apartment."
"Mike." Donna and Harvey spoke in the same moment.
"Just breathe, okay kid?" Donna said, smiling gently.
"They've killed gram, Donna," he said, quieter and slightly broken.
Donna pursed her lips in sympathy and put a hand on Mike's knee. "I'll admit, that's a bit rough. But at least you're never alone in it. There's always Rachel or me and always Harvey there to pick up the pieces...really Mike, they've given you a family you didn't have before."
Mike took a deep breath, holding Donna's grounding gaze for a few seconds before nodding. He pressed his hands to his face.
She gave Mike's leg a quick pat and turned to Harvey.
"How about you? Any freaking out to be done?"
For several seconds Harvey didn't move.
"Is it the romance with Jessica?" Donna guessed.
A slight twitch on his lips but nothing else.
"Being portrayed as a heartless asshole eighty percent of the time?"
"Are you kidding me?" He squeaked and Donna blinked, because the great Harvey Specter had just squeaked."You think I'd be this upset if it was because of that's all they were doing?"
Donna shrugged. "What then?"
"Worse than Louis making me dress in drag?"Guessed Mike.
"Worse than having a daughter you didn't even know you had show up and turn your life upside down?" Tried Donna.
"So much worse."
"Worse than all of that. Worse than everything." Harvey swallowed hard and his eyes fell shut. "They have me...caring."
He choked out the last word and Donna couldn't help herself. She laughed.
Laughed until she couldn't sit up straight. Laughed until her eyes watered. Laughed until she was holding her middle and very nearly cackling.
Mike just dropped his head back and groaned, clearly feeling no sympathy for the man.
"Oh Harvey," Donna gasped after she'd gotten herself back under control. "You ain't seen nothin' yet."
Harvey glared over at her.
"You're in here too you know."
Donna nodded, dabbing at her eyes with her fingers, trying to preserve her makeup.
"And this doesn't bother you?"
She paused and then shook her head. "It's their world, boys. We only live in it."
"Of course it doesn't bother her." Mike interjected, sounding just a little bitter. "They all worship her."
Donna nodded sagely. "It's true. There are shrines."
Seeing that both men were coming out of their shock, and feeling her work there was done, Donna got up and started moving toward the door.
"Donna," Harvey called out and if Donna didn't know any better she'd think he sounded fearful. "What did you mean when you said I 'ain't seen nothin' yet'?"
She paused with her hand on the door and then smiled.
"Oh nothing Harvey just um," she turned back to look at them both, "let me know when you two discover slash."
Donna had made it back to her desk and was two minutes into writing an email when Harvey's voice came across the ever-open intercom.
"What the fuck?"
And Mike letting out a loud, horrified groan.
"Oh God, I can never unread that."
Donna just smirked and whispered to herself.
"See you in the fics."
So, yeah, that was a bit ridiculous, but it's been nagging at my brain for a while and it made me laugh. I hope you liked it!