A/N: Hello! This was written before I knew the reason why Sion is so damn crazy (wiki it, folks), but right after I watched the season finale. A bit clumsy, but I just love this pairing lots and lots! Happy reading!
Disclaimer: I do not claim to own Legend of the Legendary Heroes.
Only Ryner could make you feel this way.
To you, everything that made Ryner the friend you knew stood for everything you wanted to kill—prejudice, corruption, hatred, and rejection. The possibility for another Ryner to happen, the possibility that anyone could be hurt as deeply, the possibility that anyone could come to resemble the friend (yes, that's what you call him, because you can't call him anything else or you will be destroyed) that had defined you as Roland's king—you could not let any of these possibilities exist.
Which of these reasons had broken you?
When had you begun to talk to yourself?
You shut your eyes tightly, but opened them as soon as the faint glimmer of stained glass light started to shimmer in your mind's vision. Unseeingly, you stared into the darkness of your office. You would not hold that conversation again.
You missed Ryner and his uncanny ability to make everything seem easier and further away, even though everything was anything but those two things. In those moments he made you laugh, you missed forgetting all of the responsibilities, all of the lives sinking down on your shoulders, like a dying ship with only one inescapable fate.
He was the friend you understood the most, yet also, the least. All of the jokes, attempted assassinations—those were the things you understood dearly about him. You understood the things unsaid, the mask of indifference, and the kindness that lay beneath that both defined and threatened Ryner's sanity.
But it went no deeper.
Perhaps you should have already been content with what you had of Ryner. He never gave much, and what you had wasn't something he gave out freely. Chivalry, yes. Friendship? Ryner had few friends, and didn't give many chances for himself to have them.
Yet, you yearned for something to tie him to you. The relief you felt every time you saw him and realized that he was still your friend, realized that he had returned to you—terrified you. It terrified you that next time—next time he would be more beautiful, and would realize that you had become everything you had sought to destroy. It terrified you that next time, he would never come back.
Because he would realize that you were no longer pure. Because he would see that you were tired even though you would be rejuvenated by his very presence. Because he would see that you had broken somewhere along the line, in between Miran's soulless disposal of your obstacles, and your orders for him to do so. In between what you had thought you could handle, and what you found out you couldn't. In between every life you stole to save hundreds of others, and the people who applauded you without understanding just what it was to lead a country.
Ryner terrified you, but he was your only haven. Ryner could take over your soul, but he was also the only one who could give it back to you.
Ryner… Ryner… Ryner…
To you, everything that made Ryner the friend you knew stood for everything you wanted to kill—prejudice, corruption, hatred, and rejection. The possibility for anyone to come to resemble the person you loved the most, the person you would throw away your life for—you could not let this possibility exist, because you were the king of Roland, and your life was no longer your own.
That's why, Ryner, I must kill you.