AN: Why does Haven have to get so fantastic while I'm in the middle of NaNoWriMo? I mean really, it was brilliant. And my words of the day are just lining up so well with it. So I'm cheating and counting this - and possibly the other two chapters of this I've got floating in my brain - as part of my word count.
Spoilers! For Magic Hour Parts 1 & 2.
Disbosom: (v.) To reveal; confess.
The whole world came to an abrupt stop in front of her eyes, making her waver on her feet. She had been moving, running, racing for so long now. No breaks, no rest, because if she stopped then it would all come crashing into her and become real. And she had never run harder than today. Since the moment Duke's truck had pulled up to the cabin and she'd seen Tommy's frightened expression and that body in the grass. And she'd known, she had just known. So she'd run and fallen to her knees and cradled his head in her hands, refusing to believe this was real.
Then almost immediately she was up and running again. Running from the truth. Running for one last hope.
Because she had saved him once and damn it all if she wasn't going to do it again.
And so she keeps running, for him, from one desperate chance to another, because she has to. Because he's the only reason she has to keep running at all anymore.
Except it doesn't work. After all that effort, all that pain, all that running, it's over. It's come to an immediate standstill and it all catches up with her in a blaze of pain. Weeks of agony, of pushing him away, of doing it alone. All of it was supposed to keep him safe. But here he is. Dead. Gone.
"I was the one that's supposed to... I was supposed to go."
Because all of this was to keep him safe. She had pushed him away so he wouldn't be hurt when she disappeared. She was supposed to protect him, so he wouldn't die like the Colorado Kid. Like everyone she – and Lucy and Sarah and whoever the hell else she'd been before that – had ever cared about had died. And she'd failed. It was all for nothing.
She grabbed one of his hands in her own, begging for him to feel it. For him to squeeze back. Because she would do anything to save him. Anything to bring him back. Back to her.
And that's when the real truth hit her. The real secret that she'd been running from all this time. The truth she hadn't been prepared to face head on, because it was too much. Too strong. Too terrifying. Too real. It hit her like a blow to the head, enveloping her, suffocating her, until it spilled from her mouth among her choked sobs.
"I've always loved you. I always will love you."