Stephenie Meyer owns all things Twilight. No copyright infringement is intended. This is a period fic-let (short story) which will be told in Edward's point of view. Loosely based on William Kotzwinkle's "Jack in the Box". Again, no copyright infringement is intended.

Chapters are shorter than my norm*

Summary: Edward, typical American youth of the fabulous fifties being ruled by his hormones, moves to a new town. Change isn't easy, especially since he befriends the geeky Jasper. Romance/comedy/a coming of age story with eventual canon couples.

.Depending on the review response, I might post chapter two later on.


.Beta'd by HollettLA

Persons attempting to find a plot will be shot —Mark Twain.

"Made in the Shades"



"Edward!" My mother called out to me from across the yard. "Be careful with the china."

"Yeah, yeah…" I grumbled, placing the box delicately on the grass, just as the huge bearded, burly man—with a cigar hanging from his mouth—slammed another into my chest. "Thanks." Giving the lazy bastard a smile, I repeated what I just did with the china.

"Edward!" my father shouted. "What are you doing?"

Widening my arms, I wondered what he meant.

"Bring the boxes into the house!" he replied, slamming the screen door behind him.

Waving Carlisle and Esme on—my parents—I picked up the fragile box. While I bent over, I saw the hedges on the side of the house move, and then I heard a giggle—it was a girl giggle—like someone was watching me.

Shaking it off, I started to walk the box into the house. Just as I approached the door, my little brother Jared came barreling down the steps, wearing his Captain Midnight cape.

"Aren't you excited, Edward?" He bounced around, blocking my entrance to our new kitchen.

"No." I scoffed, walking around him.

"Aww, come on…Edward," he whined, pulling on my cardigan sweater.

"Jare, quit!" I pulled away from him and lost my footing, which made my mother's prized dinner plates start to come crashing down onto the floor.

Luckily, my father saw the impending catastrophe and intercepted, catching the box. "Honestly, Edward…" He gave me a look—a glare of distain—or what I'm used to, disappointment.

"It was my fault, Pop," Jared said.

And as soon as Dad left us alone, my twelve-year-old brother began to annoy the shit out of me again. "What?" I asked.

"We're in a new neighborhood." He still looked happy and excited, and I still wore my frown.

"You know what happens in a new neighborhood?" I raised a brow.

He licked his lips, waiting patiently for my reply.

My younger brother thinks I'm so cool. I'm seventeen. I listen to rock 'n' roll music and wear semi-decent clothes. These days you're either a square or a greaser, and I am neither one. I'm not great at school, and I didn't have many friends in Seattle. And something tells me that I won't here in Forks either. Yet, Jared thinks I'm the cat's pajamas.

My father calls me a dreamer, says I have no verbal filter because I'm stuck in La La Land all the time, and I basically need to get my head out of my ass. I have a vivid imagination. But if people knew what I was really thinking, then I'd just be a pervert on top of it all. My mother doesn't approve of my future aspirations as a writer. She says writers starve, and as per the both of them, "I don't care if you go to bird grooming school. You better get into some kind of college." So, I'm looking to dive into my school work, and I hope I can work on my image as well - meaning: I hoped to gain one.

"What happens?"

I chuckled. "You get your ass kicked."

He gulped, righting his cape.

"Come on, Peanut." Grabbing his shoulder, I ushered him out of our new dwelling to empty the last moving truck.

When we approached the truck, I saw a kid my age coming toward us. Quickly, I started to unload our belongings to look busy. I didn't want any trouble.

This guy didn't care if I was busy. "You're the Cullens, right?" He had blond hair, which was kind of wayward, like the mess on my head, only longer. He was about my height and had a friendly disposition about him, as well as a tall lanky frame like mine. He wore a sweater vest, so I wondered if he was a square.

"Yeah." I nodded, placing my hands into my pockets.

"Jasper!" Some girl shouted, coming out from the bushes.

"Are you Jasper?" I asked him, because the blonde nightmare coming toward us was freaking me out.

"I live down the block." He jerked a thumb. "My name's Jasper Whitlock…Hi…but everyone just calls me Jazz."

Smiling, I stuck my hand out. "I'm Edward…um, everyone calls me Edward."

"I'm Tanya!" She grabbed my hand instead of Jasper. She was a bit on the chubby side, but now that she was up close, I noticed she had a pretty face—and a mouthful of metal. "You're Edward!" I had no idea why she kept screaming. "I'm a mess—"

I looked down to the grass stains on her pink poodle skirt. "Um…hiding in hedges will do that." For some reason, I hated that she was so happy.

"You totally caught me! So, we're neighbors. Yay! Which room is yours? I can see into the side room from my bedroom!" she laughed.

With wide eyes, I nodded. "Uh…Wow…thank you for telling me." I pointed dumbly back to the house. "No…I have the front room…overlooks the lawn." I turned to give Jared a glare, silently communicating in that sibling way. If he doesn't switch with me, I will be forced to kill him. Unless, Miss Tanya wants to watch me habitually masturbate.

That could be interesting.

Mind out of the gutter, Cullen.

I liked her bobby socks with the lace and her Mary Janes.

Briefly, I wondered what they'd look like on my shoulders, next to my ears…

"Oh…that's too bad." She snapped her fingers.

Swallowing, I nodded. "Clearly." I licked my lips and tried to pry my hand out of hers.

"Your hands are soft," she said.

"Um…" I couldn't tell her that sometimes I use my mother's cold cream to jack my dick. "Thank you?"

"You are SO welcome!" She jumped.

And I hopped back. "…the fuck." I breathed, making eye contact with Jasper.

"T, relax," Jasper said. "He's not going anywhere." He slowly grasped her shoulders and pulled her away from me.

"I'm sorry." She winced, and I saw she had something stuck in her braces. "You're going to Forks High, right?"

I nodded. "I start tomorrow." My hands reentered my pockets.

"My mom drives me. We can drive you—Do you have a car…uh…if you do—"

"Hi, Mrs. Denali!" Jasper waved to no one.

"Oh, shoot!" Tanya craned to see over the shrubbery that separates our houses. "I'm grounded—I wasn't supposed to be—bye, Edward!" She threw herself at me and hugged me tight.

I stood there mortified, but she was a girl and my dick was already hard at bobby socks.

"Whoa…what's in your pocket?" She looked down between us.

"My cock."

"What?" She shrieked.

"A clock!" I palmed my face. "What did you think I said? I have a pocket watch?"

"Must be huge!" She stared.

I smirked. "You have no idea." I winked.

"Wow," she sighed, and then looked behind me. "That's your little brother? Hi, Edward's little brother!" She waved.

Jared waved back, frowning.

And then she ran away. "I'll see you tomorrow? It'll be the mostest!"

As soon as she was gone, I turned to Jasper. "What was that?"

We shook hands.

Jasper laughed. "Do you really have a pocket watch?"

I laughed too. "No."

"Peanut!" my mother shouted for my brother.

"Coming!" Jared waved to Jasper, and then ran toward the house.

"Come on." Jasper hit my arm. "I'll show you around the neighborhood."

"Um…" Taking a look around myself, I decided my parents wouldn't miss me. "All right," I agreed, and we left my yard to walk along the streets.

"And that was Tanya Denali—the bane of my existence—maybe not anymore. You shouldn't have winked at her, or…do you like her?"

"No," I said. "But, like…" I looked away from him. I'm always horny, and she's a girl.

"I hear she's very friendly. I'd never…you know, hang out with her. Then I'd never get rid of her. She's young, too."

"Duly noted." I nodded. "But is she always that happy? For a second there, I wanted to stab myself."

"Jesus!" he hissed.

I shrugged. "Yeah…it's all this rain..." I trailed off.

"My mother says your father's a doctor? He's the new Chief of…something. And you moved from…?" Jasper turned, pointing to me.

"Seattle," I said, kicking a rock across the street.

"Seattle! Boy, I'd love to live there. The chicks must me amazing."

"Amazing," I lied, widening my eyes. "Listen, thanks for coming along."

"Don't mention it," he laughed.

"Well…I'm glad. I thought a new neighborhood might be trouble." My hands went back into my pockets after my confession.

"What do you mean?" Jasper stopped us from walking.

Scratching the back of my neck, I took a look up and down the road. "Being the new kid…I thought someone might be…inclined to kick my ass." I chuckled nervously.

He laughed at me, throwing his head back. "Never happen—not with me as your pal." He pointed to himself, leaning toward me. "Just stick with me."

For the first time since I woke up this morning, I wore a smile. Jasper showed me around. The town isn't very populated, but my parents chose a house close to Main Street, where everything is. Jasper just called it "town", like this "town" that we were going to was some hip place.

He showed me the hardware store, the diner, the drug store which is also the soda shop, and Swan's Garage. There really wasn't much to this "town". Apparently, you have to travel to a place called Port Angeles to have access to the drive-in, the regular cinema, and shopping.

Fleetingly, I hoped my father would budge and buy me a car. He lets me use his on occasion, but I'd get around a lot better with a set of wheels. Carlisle refuses unless my grades go up, so until then I'll be bumming rides and using my feet as transportation.

As we were walking away from the mechanic's shop, I spotted a girl. She wore a dark blue jumpsuit and was pumping gas. I could tell right away that she worked here and didn't own the vehicle. She wasn't only cute. She was gorgeous—brown hair pulled back into a low ponytail that lay to the side on her shoulder. She had dark eyes, long lashes—a face like Natalie Wood—and a great body. The coveralls didn't mask those curves at all, and the red scarf that was tied around her neck was a contrast and stuck out from the rest of her ensemble.

"Who's that?" I whispered, stopping again.

"That's Isabella Swan."

"Isabella." I smiled, sounding out her name and liking it on my lips.

"You only call her that if you want a pounding. She's tough—goes by Bella."

"Bella," I said this time.

Jasper slapped my chest. "Rule number one, you don't go near The Swan."

"Why not?" I asked, leaning my forearm against the brick of the building while my eyes never left her. Something inside me willed her to look my way, yet she never did.

After taking the money from the patron, she skipped back into the building.

"Because she's Emmett Swan's little sister—"

Jazz paused his words when a huge guy came into view. He wore a uniform like Bella—and he was just massive, dark hair and menacing eyes. His hair was also slicked back.

"That's Emmett," Jasper whispered.

"Why are you whispering?" I chuckled.

He gulped and his eyes widened while he stared behind me. "Can I help you?"

Turning around, I came face-to-face with Emmett.

"Hey, Emmett!" Jasper waved. "This is Edward Cullen. He's new here."

"Em?" Bella came back out, only now she was wearing a black leather jacket and a matching beret. "Hey," she said, looking from me to Jazz.

I smiled, lifting my hand in greeting.

"Everything okay?" She was staring at me now.

"These yo-yos were just taking off." Emmett jerked his head to us.

"Okay." Her cheeks became flushed, and then the loud roar of a motorcycle caught all our attentions. "See ya!" She waved, hopped up to give Emmett a smooch on his cheek, and then skipped over to the dude on the motorcycle.

"I'm picking up Rosie at seven—be ready!" Emmett shouted out to his sister.

She nodded, staring right at me while she snaked her arm around the guy's middle. Bella continued to stare, as did I, and when she rolled her eyes to her brother and gestured to the guy on the bike, I found myself laughing.

"What's funny?" Emmett asked.

I composed myself and Bella took off. "No-nothing."

"You guys just peepin' at my sister or are you going to buy something?"

At Jasper's insistence, I bought a map of Forks and some chewing gum.

"Whew…that was close." Jazz was still staring at Swan's Garage while walking backward.

"I thought you said you carried a lot of weight around here?" I asked.

"I lied!" He looked upset. "Sorry…you're new, so…"

"I get it," I admitted, now knowing he was just an ordinary dork like me. "Who was the guy on the bike?"

"Their cousin. His name is Paul—he and few others make up Emmett's gang."

"His gang?"

"You'll see when we get to school. They're greasers—Rosalie and Alice are squares, but they're property of Emmett and—"

"Who?" I asked.

He patted my back. "Rosalie Hale. She's the most beautiful chick at Forks High. You'll know her when you see her."

"Does…Bella's dad own the garage or something?"

"No, yes, sort of," he said. "It's just in their family. Charlie—the chief of police—his brother owned the garage until he died last year. He was hit by a beer truck out on the 101 when he was rigging a Chevy up to the tow-truck."

"Whoa…and that's…Paul's father?" I inquired.

"Why so curious?" He stopped again.

I shrugged.

"Well, the garage and Paul are Charlie's now. People run it during school hours and then the three kids do after. We're a small town, so…if you ever have car trouble, that's the place to go."

"Right." I frowned, wishing I had a reason to go back to Swan's.

"Hey…Bella's off limits. Any guy who tries gets his slacks kicked in."

"Oh, I wasn't—"

"Yeah, you were…" He grinned at me. "It's okay…I follow Alice around like a lost dog, and she's with Paul."

"If their dad is like…top cop, how are Emmett and them in a gang?"

He rolled his eyes. "They're bullies who wear the right clothes and ride around on bikes…They don't do anything bad besides terrorize guys like us."

This time I gulped.

"But if you play it cool, you'll be all right."

I saw my house coming up in the distance.

"I'll meet you here at eight?" he asked. "My buddy Jake usually gives me a ride. He won't mind. We'll walk over to his place together."

"Oh, wow…thank you!" My hands gripped Jazz's biceps because the alternative would be my mother taking me to school.

"You'll like Jake."

"Okay." I nodded.

"He's a senior, like I am, um…" He pointed to me, waiting.

"I'm a senior, too. Hey, is Bella a—"

"Get her out of your head, man!" He turned serious. "You have a better shot going for Rosalie. They're on-again, off-again with the changing of the seasons."

I didn't reply.

"Bella's a junior anyway," he finished.

"Oh…" I rocked back on my heels.

"See ya!" He waved, and I watched him speedily walk down the street.

By now no boxes littered the front lawn and the moving truck had left. So, I quietly made my way up to my bedroom to unpack.

"You owe me big time," Jared said.

I paused, with the last box I had to move into my "new" room in my hands. Tanya was already staring so hard, Jared felt compelled to draw his curtains. "Where are your binoculars?"

"In my spy box!" His eyes widened.

"Keep 'em handy. And if you see tits, come get me." I walked down the hall.

Thank you for reading.

I hope you guys enjoyed that and will continue reading.

This is a ficlet and its written, so updates will be fairly regular. All of it is not beta'd yet, so I can't commit to updating daily just yet. Please leave me your thoughts. I'd love to know what you think.

Also: I've read fics where the teens act like they're 25... In this story, Edward is 17, and so he will act like he's 17. In my experience, as the years roll by teens get more mature. So, don't hold it against Edward for being a bit on the immature side. The innocence of the time period will show in this.

I state "eventual canon couples" which means Edward may not be hooking up with anyone...any time soon. Hold on kiddies! This is a coming of age story. Edward will learn a lot during the course of his senior year at Forks. It's mostly comedy, and even the dramatic elements later on will have you laughing your bobby socks off.

Depending on the review response, I might post chapter two later on.