Song-Superman (It's Not Easy) by Five For Fighting
I can't stand to fly
I'm not that naive
I'm just out to find
The better part of me
I'm more than a bird: I'm more than a plane
More than some pretty face beside a train
It's not easy to be me
Wish that I could cry
Fall upon my knees
Find a way to lie
About a home I'll never see
No one's perfect. People weren't made that way. So why do I have to be?
I'm just saying, it doesn't seem all that fair. Everyone else gets to make mistakes but if I make one I get booed and shunned. It's like I'm protecting a bunch of hypocrites.
It hardly seems logical, either, really. I've had my share of mistakes with the Iron Man armor, and furthermore, my life hasn't been any sort of masterpiece so far. No mother, no father, no family at all, no sense of guidance; I got no idea what I'm even doing pretending to be some big strong hero, anyways. Who am I trying to fool?
I feel like I'm in some sort of prison. I'm not allowed to breathe, I'm not allowed to be sad, make a mistake, or be myself. I'm expected to fly around and save people and act as if nothing's wrong, when in reality, everything feels like it's falling apart. I'm far from okay. Actually, I'm terrible. I hate pretending I'm all high and mighty and perfectly happy. Everyone thinks I make it look so easy to lose my family and recover so quickly and be happy, but really I'll never be happy. I've never felt the satisfaction and happiness and warmth of a loving family and a good home.
Sure, sure, I know what you're thinking. "What about Roberta and Rhodey, Pepper, Happy, Whitney even? Aren't they your family?" And the answer is yeah, they're family and all, but not the kind of family a growing boy longs for. I may be a genius, a billionaire and an inventor, but underneath all that I'm a regular boy who wants a regular life and is a fool for thinking he'll ever have that.
Superman made it look easy, too. I guess superheroes have a way of doing that. We have a way of masking the pain and showing the people around you that everything's all fine and dandy in Tony-land. But on the inside it's a mess. It's a metaphorical landfill of broken down emotions that are left to never be fixed. Your mind is completely broken.
Who ever thought school, Iron Man, Stark International and battling the rollercoaster emotions of a teenage boy was enough for anyone who's perfectly human to deal with? Because whoever thought that is really stupid. It's not as possible as I make it seem.
I'm only human, believe it or not.
It may sound absurd: but don't be naive
Even Heroes have the right to bleed
I may be disturbed: but won't you concede
Even Heroes have the right to dream
It's not easy to be me
Up, up and away: away from me
It's all right: You can all sleep sound tonight
I'm not crazy: or anything:
I can't stand to fly
I'm not that naive
Men weren't meant to ride
With clouds between their knees
Sometimes people just mask the truth with something they want to believe is true. And maybe that's the problem with people today. They're just too scared to face the truth, when really, that's all I've been doing my whole life. And quite frankly, after a while, it doesn't even phase you any more.
People ask me if I'm scared of anything, and if they wanted complete honesty, that's what they got. I'd just tell them that why should I? Because I have nothing left to lose, really. If you happen to fall into my position one day, you'd see how I feel. But what are the chances of that.
Either it's masking the truth or people are just oblivious on their own. Maybe it's a mix of both. Maybe some people are afraid and some people are just naturally stupid. Who knows what goes on in other people's minds. I'm still trying to figure out what's going on with my own mind. And of course—not to be repetitive—I'm left to figure it out on my own.
But maybe if I wasn't left to do these things on my own, then I wouldn't be having these problems.
Or maybe I would, because some people believe in 'fate' and 'what has to be'. Some people believe that things are supposed to happen for a reason, that everything has a greater purpose in the long run. But I believe that's really stupid. What possible purpose does killing my parents have? What possible purpose is there for me being a total screw-up and dating Whitney instead of facing the obvious truth that I'm in love with Pepper? Or trusting Gene? Or losing my father's company for two years, leaving myself in a web of mystery and confusion and not knowing what's going to happen next? So no, I don't think everything happens for a reason.
So fate was probably a creation of arrogant, naïve human beings who were too scared to face reality. Some dumb person who hadn't ever heard of the real world and got caught up in fairy-tales and make-believe. The world was built on a flimsy fairy-tale and when it crumbles reality as we know it goes down too. And when that happens, I'm not going to be a part of the mass depression. It won't be my time for that then. Sounds harsh, I know, but can you blame me?
The answer is no, not really. Everyone has put me on this high and mighty pedestal where I never really wanted to be, and they expect me to just go along with it or something, when I have to work equally as hard to hold myself together and to be honest with everything that I have to deal with already there's no room for holding myself together. So what's a boy to do? Please tell me, because I got no idea.
I'm only a man in a silly red sheet
Digging for kryptonite on this one way street
Only a man in a funny red sheet
Looking for special things inside of me
It's not easy to be me.
What's so super about knowing more than someone else does anyways? What reason does humanity even have for idolizing me? I'm not any more special than any random person off the street. Any random person off the street couldn't hold this together just as much as I can. I don't know what was running through the person's head when they first called me 'Iron Man' but they're completely wrong. Iron is strong and impermeable. I am but a weak, completely penetrable by mind teenage boy who has no special abilities above the rest of my kind. There's completely no reason for me to be Iron Man. I only made the armor to get back my stuff.
I'm only human, just like everyone else. I don't see why this world needs a hero, anyways. I think everyone's just fine protecting themselves. Maybe the problem is that people are getting too lazy to protect themselves so they want someone else to do it for them. Just like a bodyguard. I'm a bodyguard for a big, fat, lazy world. Great hero gig, right? Wouldn't you love to be me? So wanna switch places?
No, I thought not. No one really wants to be me. Not even I want to be me half the time. It's almost accurate to say that dying would be the easiest way out; but I'm not going to get too negative or else I'll start losing listeners. (Hah, I thought anyone would listen to me for a second there. Funny right?)
That's something I don't get. People say they're scared of dying but in reality they don't realize how hard some people have it. They don't realize that that's another thing they've exaggerated the extremity of. Death isn't as bad as some things in the world that people face every day. Be it an abusive father, no mother, no father, no parents at all, stuck with younger siblings and no parents, you name it. The point is there's a lot worse that could happen to you. People just have a knack for greatly exaggerating things they seem to be scared of. Maybe people just don't like to face their fears.
And again, it hardly seems fair that they get to cower in the shadow of their fears but I have to face mine daily. And quite frankly, sorry if I'm being repetitive, but it doesn't faze me anymore. Nothing really does these days. The emotion has partly been sucked out of me, never to return again. Really, the world is ill balanced. It's not as semi-perfect as people portray it to be; yet another exaggeration. It seems there are a lot of those to come across if you really think about it.
But I'm getting besides the point. My point is that I'm up on this high pedestal where I never wanted to be in the first place, where the people had placed me, and I'm supposed to hold the weight of the world up there with me when really I'm having trouble holding myself together. And when I'm left to juggle school, Iron Man, and Stark International, there's just about no time for me to pull myself together. And in case you didn't realize, that's not really good.
So if you thought I was here to tell you I like being Iron Man, you thought wrong. Don't get me wrong, it has its perks sometimes, but most of the time its just a painful reminder to me of what I am and what I'm not. And no one in their right minds wants to be reminded of that on a daily basis. Its too much for one man to take. But I know that I have no choice but to continue putting up with it because if I didn't the world would fall apart. They've begun to depend on me to keep everything in one piece and I don't really know how much longer I can keep it up. I just hope its long enough for society to figure out their plan…
So, to sum it up, I never actually asked to become Iron Man. I invented a suit of armor first and foremost because it was just an idea that I had in my head. And when my dad 'died' in the plane crash, I changed its purpose to a device I could use to get back what belonged to me. When a runaway train was going to get in my way, I pushed it out of my way and accidentally let it slip into the middle of the city. But hey, what would you do if you knew a train was about to kill hundreds of people? Let them die, even if you knew you had the technology to stop it? Yeah, I thought not.
Basically, it's not easy being everyone's superman.
Ahh, it took me SOO LOONG to finish this! Cuz I've been so busy! Damn you, school! Anyways, when I heard this song first I thought it was perfect for IM:AA. So I knew I had to use it. Second of all, the episodes coming up in season 2 are gonna be really exciting! Check out this link: (broken up, of course…)
And one last thing. It's like, blowing my mind. This October 6th will be my 2-year (2 whole years. It feels like just yesterday I was approaching my 1 year anniversary. Holy freaking crap.) anniversary on FF. And it's also the final set date for my 100th story (whatever that's gonna be…idk.) and as you all know that means that my autobio of my FF career will be posted on my 2 year anniversary. I still just can't believe it. 2 years, 100 stories, I am a FF addict…