Lookie! My first Loki/Darcy fic!

Diehard fans be advised, however: it's not exactly romance. In fact, it starts out with a dark feel. But I hope you find it funny at least!

This fic was requested by and is dedicated to zutarataang4eva! I hope you like it my friend!

It was bad enough that he had lost.

It was bad enough that Thor had nearly taken his head off with Mjolnir.

It was bad enough that he had been dragged back to Asgaard and was made to suffer the indignity of having a guard hover around him constantly, standing behind his chair as he ate, following him to the training arena and warning him against the use of magic, and even standing outside his door as he slept.

And it was certainly bad enough that Thor was made into the great hero (once again), Odin and Frigga all praise and adoration, allowing the triumphant prince to come and go from Earth as he pleased, and even letting him bring his precious little mortal pet into the Great Realm with him to be wined and dined like she was something greater than what she was.

Like she was royalty.

Like she was a princess.

Or even a future queen.

But even all of those annoyances could not incite the type of frustration Loki felt at seeing Thor stride into Asgaard with Jane Foster in tow…..

And the other mortal girl gaping in awe beside them.

Loki glared at the guard at his side.

Glared at Thor and his human lover.

And glared even harder at the newcomer, the girl called Darcy Lewis.

With a swift foot he retreated to his chambers, intent on remaining there until the annoying visitors took their loud, chattering mouths and went back to Earth where they belonged, not to return for what he hoped would a long, long time…

The darkness of his bedchambers was inviting and comforting, despite the giggles and mumbling that met his ears from the banquet hall. The smells of the feast wafted to his nostrils and he inhaled, immediately stirring his empty stomach into a growl.

But he would not join the lot of nobles and 'family' this night.

Not with the two women that he knew would be seated on either side of his 'brother', smiling up at him with love and appreciation and fascination. He simply could not sit there and watch such disgusting displays of affection without reeling from nausea.

Loki sneered into the darkness.

If he'd had his way, Darcy Lewis would be kneeling at his feet, offering him fresh fruit and a foot massage. And Jane Foster would be in his lap, made to give him anything he wanted, and made to keep her eyes wide open as she did so…

Just so she would know who it was she offered herself to, no matter who she attempted to imagine.

If he'd had his way, all of Earth would be at his command, the repellent army of Jotuns he would have used to conquer it would be destroyed along with their useless barren homeworld, and Asgaard would tremble at the very thought of his name.

But here he was, splayed out on his old bed in the royal hall and treated as neither a prince nor a prisoner, but something trapped unwillingly in between.

The people called him 'Prince Loki', but in their voices he could hear their disdain, their fear and their disappointment.

He wanted to stop caring.

But he could not.

Muscles jumped slightly when the doors to his chambers opened, and the lights of his room instantly destroyed his beloved darkness.

Loki sat up in bed, chin raised at the guard that had entered.

"Miss Lewis has been sent with a message, Prince."

Bowing slightly, the guard stepped back into the open doorway as the Earth girl Darcy stepped hesitantly into his room, fingers fiddling with dark cloth of her blouse and eyes darting around the room in mild interest.

She did not speak for several seconds.

Loki breathed deep and reminded himself of the repercussions of killing her.

He waved a hand to coax her, and the girl blinked quickly before smiling against a slight blush.

"Oh, uh, Thor wants to know if you're coming to eat. He says if you wait too long you'll miss the best pieces of meat."

Her voice was a strange mixture of boredom and intrigue, as if she really didn't care what his brother had told her to say, but was more interested in being in his room to say it.

Loki picked up on this fact quickly.

A scowl plastered against his features and he waved his hand again.

"Be gone, girl. Tell Thor I've no appetite tonight, for either the food or the company."

He watched as her brain processed his words, his insult to her and the woman she assisted registering and sinking in. Her mouth grew tight, and eyes narrowed at him slightly.

Loki leaned forward from the edge of his bed and glared back at her, daring her to spit her stupidity at him. She stood stock still in the center of his room, and made no move to turn and leave.

After a few moments of silence and tension, Loki was ready to threaten her.

The guard stood quiet and still in the doorway, faced away but occasionally looking back to watch them.

A growl tingled in Loki's throat and he felt his fists curl.

And then the girl spoke again.

"So…you're the God of Mischief, right?"

Loki blinked.

Nails dug into palms and he tried so very hard not form a blade of ice in one of them.

She was watching him curiously now, her feet rocking slightly and making her sway like a child.

He sighed.

"I have been called such by your ancient peoples, yes."

He cocked his head to the side and he eyed her suspiciously.

Why did she want to know?

He was met with a small smile set upon too-red lips.

"Yeah, I was reading this book about you…well, what the old Nordic tribes perceived to be you. You had a lot of different nicknames: God of Mischief, Prince of Lies, the Sly One, the Trickster….oh, and my personal favorite, the Harbinger of Destruction."

An eyebrow rose against his consent.

He actually kind of liked that last one….

Loki shifted, uncomfortable despite his mild interest in her words.

"Is there a purpose to your telling me this, mortal?"

The girl chuckled and stepped back, just once, and he could tell his harsh tone had made her nervous.

He wasn't quite sure if he was pleased at that or not.

Loki sat and waited for her to turn and leave.

She continued to stand and look at him. He sighed again, standing from his bed suddenly and making her jump. Her voice found her just as he moved to point her out the door.

"It's just…it's April Fool's day."



His teeth grit against a snarl as she laughed at him, the nervous edge still evident in her tone.

"On Earth, today is April Fool's day. And you're the God of Mischief, the so-called Trickster. It's practically your holiday. Or at least, it oughta be…"

Loki was officially befuddled.

What in all the nine realms was this mortal talking about?

Loki almost wanted to yell at the guard to escort the woman away from his sight, but her eager eyes and puffy smile held too much intrigue. He knew the mortal had a point…

He just wasn't quite sure what it was yet.

"Very well, woman. I'll bite. What does one do on this 'day of fools'?"

The grin that flashed at him had Loki raising his brows again, and he found himself strangely fascinated by the combination of joy and subtle deviousness in her expression.

"On April Fool's day people play pranks on each other. Tricks, you know? Just in fun, to get a good laugh. It's the one day you can torment other people and get away with it."

Loki blinked again, absorbing the mortal's explanation and finding it thoroughly pleasing. If he had successfully conquered Earth, he would have declared every day April Fool's day.

Still staring narrowly at the girl, he noted the guard still turned away rigidly. No doubt listening in on their conversation, Loki knew this guard would take him straight to Odin should he do something impetuous and yet….

His hand shot into the air and Darcy Lewis stepped back again, quickly.

He snapped his fingers before the guard could even turn to see what he was doing.

A moment of silence passed before the clucking of a chicken met their ears and a loud shout bellowed from the banquet hall:

"LOKI! Turn my food back this instant!"

He smirked slightly at Volstagg's echoing rage.

Loki ignored the guard's alarmed glare and motioned at the girl.

"Like that?"

Darcy Lewis laughed lightly and stepped away even as the guard rushed in to grab Loki by the arm.

He paid the fool no mind as the human woman smiled at him, eyes alight and impressed.

"Yeah. Like that."

Loki. You were born for April Fool's Day. :D