Shinigami-cat: Once I finished I just couldn't stop thinking about it! I had to write more... I OWN NOTHING!


Several years after the events in Beautiful Broken Souls Matthew is still haunted by nightmares of Ivan while trying to live a normal life with Gilbert. Meanwhile Gilbert is trying to balance life with Matthew's nightmares, the frustrations of being human and trying to solve a string of murders. They seem just like any other murder but is there something more too them?


Lots of blood, violence and heaps of other bat shit crazy stuff!

Pure Priceless Insanity

Dreams and reality

I can't escape this hell
So many times I've tried
But I'm still caged inside
Somebody get me through this nightmare
I can't control myself

'Animal I have become' by Three Days Grace

Matthew shivered even though it was unbearably hot. The chain around his ankle cut into his skin, threatening to cut off all circulation in his foot. The rough concrete on the walls cut into his face. He was too tired to move. The heat was just sucking the energy right out of him.

"I'm going to die..." Croaked Matthew. "I'm going to die... If I don't starve to death I'll die of dehydration..." Hot tears rolled down his face. They stung the wounds and scars on his face.

The door slowly creaked open and there stood a tall man with a wicked grin on his face. "Hello Matthew." He said a little too kindly. "We're going to be having fun da."

Matthew's eyes went huge. "Ivan..." He whispered. "No... NO! STAY AWAY FROM ME!" Matthew swung his arms about to try and keep Ivan away from him.

Ivan laughed, grabbed Matthew's arms and pinned him to the floor. "You really think you can fight me? It didn't work before, what makes you think you can stop me from taking you again?"

Matthew shut his eyes and continued to scream. "NOOOOO! GILBERT! SAVE ME!"

Ivan growled and slapped Matthew. "Look at me. LOOK AT ME!"

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Matthew opened his eyes. He wasn't looking into Ivan's sadistic purple eyes, he was looking directly into Gilbert's eyes. Gilbert was sitting on top of Matthew holding his arms down, blood was dripping out of his nose. "Are you okay Birdie?" He asked.

Matthew nodded. "Yeah... what happened to your nose?"

"You punched me in your sleep." Said Gilbert. "Are you sure you're okay?"

Matthew smiled weakly. "I'm fine... Could you please get off? You're crushing me."

Gilbert got off Matthew and sat next to him. "Was it about him again?"

Matthew nodded. "Yeah... I'm sorry."

Gilbert sighed and ran his fingers through Matthew's hair. "It's fine. Just wish you'd stop beating me up in your sleep."

"Sorry... I didn't mean to hurt you."

Gilbert pulled Matthew into a hug. "Its fine Matthew really it is."

Matthew shook his head. "No it isn't. I wish I wasn't so... so weak..."

"You're no weak." Said Gilbert. "If you really were weak you'd just let your nightmares consume you instead of asking for help." He held Matthew's hand and ran his fingers over a gold ring. "Besides... You already proved to me you were strong all those years ago when you continued to live and wait for me... Husband."

Matthew blushed. He couldn't help but feel embarrassed when Gilbert called him that, but he quickly got over it. "Well... we should get up... I mean it's about time we got up anyway... You have to go to work... and fix your nose."

Gilbert chuckled. "And you need to go see your new therapist."

Matthew sighed. "Okay... You want pancakes for breakfast?"

Gilbert beamed. "Yep." He got off the bed and walked into the bathroom to fix his nose. "Lots of maple syrup too!"

Matthew smiled and walked to the kitchen. 'My name is Matthew Williams...' He thought. 'I'm twenty seven years old. I live with my husband Gilbert Beilschmidt. We've been married for three years... When I was a sophomore I was kidnapped and raped by my teacher Ivan Braginski... I've been having nightmares on and off ever since... ' It may seemed strange that Matthew was thinking things over in his head like that, but it was his only way of coping.

Matthew quickly made the batter and turned on the stove. Before long he had made a huge stack of pancakes for him and Gilbert. When he put the plates onto the table Gilbert walked out fully dressed and ready for the day. He kissed Matthew on the cheek before sitting down to eat.

"So don't forget." Said Gilbert. "Eleven o'clock. Väinämöinen's office."

Matthew nodded. "I know. So anything interesting happening at work today?"

Gilbert shrugged. "Not unless I trick Alfred into the morgue again."

"Is he still creped out by bodies?" Asked Matthew in disbelief. "I mean you both work on homicides and you usually see lots of stuff way worse than that!"

"I know right." Said Gilbert. "He can handle seeing a guy with hi face bashed in but as soon as all the blood has been washed off he freaks out." Gilbert shoved some more pancake into his mouth. "He said without the blood they actually look like they might come back to life. He's watched way too many horror movies."

Matthew shrugged. "I told him not to watch so many horror movies but he just doesn't listen to me."

Gilbert shrugged. "At least he isn't as bad as Feliks. Oh God Feliks..."

"What did he do this time?"

"You know how he's... excentric?"


"Let's just say he scared the crap out of Alfred and me the other day when he was practicing his ventriloquism... He was in the morgue and it looked like the guy he was performing an autopsy on was talking. It was freaky..." Gilbert shuddered.

Matthew cringed. He had met Feliks a couple of times before. It wasn't that he was a bad guy, he was just... well excentric. The first time Matthew met Feliks was when he was picking Gilbert up from work one day. Feliks was talking to Alfred, not strange, but he was wearing a red Minnie skirt, platform shoes and a frilly pink v neck shirt. He could just imagine Feliks wearing something similar while performing an autopsy. The second time he met Feliks was when Gilbert needed to come home to get something and Feliks happened to be with him. He was wearing some kind of Gothic Lolita cross Valley Girl thing. It was weird but not freaky.

Gilbert stood up and stretched. "Well better be off. Alfred said if I was late again he would hunt me down and shoot me."

Matthew chuckled. "I wouldn't put it past him. Do you have everything?"

"Of course." Said Gilbert.


Gilbert held up his badge. "Check."


Gilbert held up his gun. "Check."

"Okay you got everything." Said Matthew. "Come home safe okay?"

Gilbert smiled and walked over to Matthew. He tilted Matthew chin up and kissed him. "You know I will." He said. "I'll always come back to you."

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Gilbert hit his head against his desk. He hated his life. Well that a bit of an overstatement. It would be more accurate to say he hated how helpless he felt now. Before if he was still a Fallen angel he could have manipulated Matthew's dreams so he would never have to dream about those things again. But no... He was human and humans couldn't do that sort of thing.

"Like Gilbert! You're like totally here early!" Said Feliks. "What's up? Something looks like it's eating you up."

Gilbert lifted his head and shrugged. "Just worried about Matthew... his nightmares are getting worse... He punched me this morning he was so freaked out."

Feliks let out a low whistle. "Damn... that's like so sad. So ready for paper work?"

Gilbert hit his head against the table again. "Not more paper work... I mean come on! This is a fucking city! There has to be at least one dead guy out there!"

Feliks pouted. "If you think that's bad you should see what I have to do. Not only do I have to do paper work I have to categorize and tag different bodies! And you like totally have no idea how pissy people get when you like make a mistake!"

Gilbert sighed. "You sent the wrong body to the funeral house again didn't you?"

"I was like distracted!" Said Feliks. "I was like trying to watch a fashion show while I was bagging and tagging the stiffs!"

"Why do you have a TV in there?" Asked Gilbert.

Feliks shrugged. "Because I just do. Besides you weren't complaining when we like watched that horror movie in there last month."

"But that's because it was awesome." Said Gilbert. "Only made doubly awesome because we were watching a zombie flick."

"What's this about a zombie flick?" Asked Alfred. He walked over to Gilbert's desk with a hamburger in his mouth. Where the heck did he get that so early in the morning?

"Hi Alfred." Said Feliks. "We were like talking about last month when we watched that zombie movie and you like totally shit yourself."

Alfred pouted. "I didn't shit myself."

"That's right." Said Gilbert. "You pissed yourself!"

Alfred punched Gilbert in the shoulder. "Shut up Gilbert. How's Mattie going?"

Gilbert rubbed his shoulder. "He's got his first session with his therapist today."

Alfred sighed. "I never thought that Matthew would need a therapist..."

"Neither did I." Said Gilbert. "But looks like we were both wrong."

"Tell Mattie I hope he gets better soon!" Feliks stretched and walked off. "If you need me I'll be bagging and tagging more stiffs!" He walked back to the morgue with his lips stick red pumps clopping down the hall like a horse.

Alfred sighed and picked up a file on Gilbert's desk. "The Whitlam case? That was the one where that family was shot execution style right?"

Gilbert nodded. "Yep... just finishing my report. By the way is your arm okay?"

Alfred shrugged. "It's not broken. But it still hurts a bit when I lift something heavy."

Gilbert smirked. "So Kiku's been the seme lately?"

Alfred slapped Gilbert in the back of the head. "I hardly see what my sex life has to do with you."

"Well do you want to hear about mine?" Asked Gilbert. "I was banging your brother into the mattress last night and he-"

Alfred stuck his fingers in his ears. "LALALALALA! I can't hear you! LALALALALA!" Gilbert chuckled and went back to work.

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Matthew shifted uncomfortably in his chair. He wasn't sure if he wanted to see a therapist of not. Well he wanted to but he felt uncomfortable about it. He looked up at Mr Väinämöinen. He seemed like a nice person, he was a blond with blue eyes with just a hint of purple. "So Mr Williams. This is your first time here right?"

Matthew nodded. "Yes Mr um..."

"Just call me Tino." He said. "Well now that we have the introductions out of the way, please tell me why you're here."

Matthew gulped. It would probably be easier if he just got everything out of the way now. He looked down at his hands and took a few deep breaths. "A few years ago... I was kidnapped and raped, and I've been having nightmares about it ever since."

"Well that's understandable." Said Tino. "It would have been very traumatic."

"It was..." Mumbled Matthew. "It's really been effecting my sleep. I can't sleep properly and when I do get to sleep I end up thrashing around like I'm being attacked... I suggested to Gilbert that we get another bed but he doesn't want that. He's afraid I'll hurt myself accidently if we aren't in the same bed... but I just end up hurting him instead."

"Sounds like Gilbert really cares about you."

Matthew smiled slightly. "He dose... He's the one that suggested I come see you in the first place."

Tino smiled warmly and jotted down some notes. "Do you want to talk about what happened?"

Matthew shook his head. "I can't talk about it... not right now anyway... It's too painful."

"I understand." Said Tino. "Maybe some other time... How about we talk about your dreams instead?"

So that's what they did. They talked about Matthew's dreams and the things that Matthew wanted to achieve by coming to these sessions. Soon the hour was up and Matthew left Tino's office and went home.

There wasn't much to do at home. Just a bit of cleaning (Gilbert's mess) and pretty much nothing else. So he sat in the lounge room holding Kumajiro in his arms. He sighed and rested his head on the lounge arm and turned on the TV. There wasn't much on. So he just waited around for Gilbert to come home.

Gilbert announced his presence home by slamming the door open. "The awesome me is back!" He stated. "I got pizza!"

Matthew smiled. "How was work?"

"Good." Said Gilbert. "I finished all my paper work and I saw Feliks trip over trash can. He snapped the heel off his shoe and almost killed Alfred."


"Because it was Alfred's trash can he tripped over."

Matthew sighed. "I bet he laughed too."

Gilbert passed Matthew a slice of pizza. "You know it. So how about you? Therapy working out alright?"

Matthew shrugged. "It was just my first session. Nothing's really happened. We just talked."

"Well as long as it's helping." Said Gilbert as he pulled Matthew into his lap. "That's all that really matters Birdie."

Matthew leaned back into Gilbert's arms and sighed contently. "I know it'll help."


Shinigami-cat: Yep... that's the first chapter. PLEASE REVIEW!