December 16, 1999
Syx was awakened when his overexcited brother blew a party horn in his face. The blue boy shrieked, tumbling out of bed in a heap of blankets.
Kelly beamed toothily. "Happy birthday, Syx!" he sing-songed. "Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you-"
"How is it," the other alien groaned, "that you can never remember your own birthday, but still remember to do this every single year?"
"How is it," his brother retorted, "that you always remember my birthday, but forget that I do this every single year?"
"Because each year, I foolishly hope that you've grown out of it. Isn't it a bit juvenile to wake me up like this?"
"But it's fun." His smile faded slightly. "Besides, this is probably the least ostentatious display you'll see all day."
Syx moaned. "I'm guessing that the warden couldn't convince the media to stay away?"
"…I really should have expected that. Do you think he'll let me stay home from school?"
The Auslanders knew that, as the only two survivors of their planet and the only confirmed space aliens on Earth (almost everyone knew that Metro Dude was also inhuman, but few people came out and said it), they would have to deal with the news for the rest of their lives. That did not, however, mean they had to like it.
"But since it's your birthday," the piscine comforted him, "he's agreed to let us use the holo-watches to get to school. We have to take them off once we arrive, but a brief reprieve is better than instant swarming."
"Slightly better," Syx agreed.
They scanned two guards, human men who could theoretically escape the prison without a second glance. Unfortunately, the media had anticipated their action. They knew about the holo-watches, and they knew that the brothers would probably try to avoid them. Instead of taking the hint like polite people would do, they mobbed anyone and everyone who exited the prison.
The reporters took one look at the green-eyed guard and his brown-eyed partner and charged. The brothers took on comical expressions of abject horror. "Run for it!" Syx screamed.
"I'm running, I'm running!"
Years of training to escape kidnappers and months of experience with escaping the press had made the brothers phenomenal sprinters. They tore through the mob of reporters and journalists, heading for the besieged parking lot.
"That's it," Syx snarled, pouncing on the motorcycle and twisting the keys. "The second we get home from shool, I'm building a door in the roof so we can take the hover bike directly from our cell to wherever we need to be."
"Why didn't you do that earlier?" Kelly whined.
"Because I thought that this would die down by now, that's why!"
"Good point," the piscine acknowledged.
The bike roared to life. Kelly sighed in relief as they lifted off the ground, away from the crowd of reporters (who were shooting pictures and screaming their birthday well-wishes to Syx), through the helicopters, and into the sky. "We need to get a restraining order."
"Tell me about it," Syx groaned. "Honestly, I can't understand why some people go out of their way to become famous. It's a lot more trouble than it's worth."
"I think it's because of me," his brother teased. "I'm very photogenic, you know."
Syx nodded. Kelly started. He'd expected the blue boy to protest loudly and theatrically, not to agree. "You're right about this being your fault, but wrong about why it is. The reporters chase us around because they think that you and Maria are so-o-o cute together."
The ichthyoid reddened. "It's your birthday, so I'll let you win." He thought for a moment. "Do you think we should land on the roof?"
"Excellent idea, you phenomenal fish. Takashi won't mind."
Kelly flipped on the invisibility function. "Don't want them to see us," he muttered.
They arrived at Metro High with no further complications. Once again, the motorcycle's 'special functions' had saved their bacon.
Kelly removed his holo-watch and shoved it in his backpack. Syx reluctantly followed suit. "I know that they'd find us anyways- they know our class schedule- but there's something comforting about having these," he sighed.
"That there is," his brother agreed. "Makes me long for the good old days, right, Syx?"
"Actually, not really. It's kind of nice, not hiding anymore." His expression became mischievous. "Now, have you got everything? Including the you-know-what?"
Kelly smiled, showing off his shark-like teeth. "Oh, I've got the you-know-what."
"I knew you had some kind of evil plan!" Metro Dude cried, swooping down from the skies. "What's your plan, Megamind?"
"Were you stalking us?" the blue boy demanded. "Because there's no other way that you-"
"Justice is duty-bound to keep its watchful eye on the forces of evil."
"Then you're really not doing a good job of it," said Kelly, rummaging through his backpack, "or you'd have known what happened yesterday. Right, Syx?"
Metro Dude's eyes narrowed suspiciously. "What happened yesterday, you fiends? Did you acquire the plans for a doomsday robot?"
Kelly found the thing he was looking for, a rolled-up sheet of paper. He handed it to Syx, who accepted the parcel with a wicked grin. "Nope. No killer robots. Just this restraining order."
Wayne's jaw nearly fell off its hinges. "Wh-what?" he asked stupidly.
"Warden Ridgeway's wife is a judge," Kelly explained cheerily. "And she's really protective of us. So when she heard that you've been following us around like some kind of crazy stalker-"
"Justice is duty-bound-"
"-she decided to let Syx and I get a restraining order. Against you. So now you're not allowed within five hundred feet of us."
Metro Dude's jaw worked silently. He couldn't believe it, couldn't comprehend it. The knowledge that he was legally forbidden to meddle in the affairs of these obvious super villains simply did not compute.
"And what do you know?" Syx laughed, eyes sparkling. "You're within five hundred feet of us. Which is breaking the law. Which is not heroic at all."
"Don't worry, though," Kelly promised. "We won't tell anyone if you leave us right this moment."
Metro Dude hesitated. His thoughts scurried along, running a thousand times faster than normal. If he stayed, he would lose his reputation as someone who could be trusted, someone who would obey the rules and uphold the law. But if he left….
Well, he reasoned, when these two do become villains, they'll remove the restraining order. They'll have no choice, because I won't be able to help them otherwise. And then everyone will see that I was right all along.
Glowering, he growled, "You win this time, Megamind. But I warn you- justice never sleeps!" He soared away.
The brothers waited until he was gone before howling with laughter. They were still laughing several minutes later when Maria, Roxanne, and Bernard walked out onto the roof. "Care to let us in on the joke?" the droll boy asked, raising an eyebrow.
The aliens' laughter abated, but not their immense grins. "Metro Dud just found out about the restraining order," Kelly explained, wrapping an arm around his girlfriend. "He didn't seem very happy about it, did he, Syx?"
"Not happy at all," the blue boy agreed, nodding sagely.
Roxanne kissed his cheek. "In other words," she noted, "it's already the best birthday you've ever had."
Messerosyx smiled adoringly at her, the love of his life. "Yes. It is."
Mets just got OWNED. Ha.