Hiei had a secret lover.

Hiei had a secret lover.

Hiei had a secret lover.

"I didn't know the shrimp had it in him," Kuwabara muttered darkly, stabbing his salad without paying much attention.

"You're just bitter he's got a girl but Yukina's still not all romantic about you," Yusuke teased, gesturing wildly with his sandwich.

Kuwabara glared at the table. "It's just not fair," he complained. "What's he got that I don't?"

"A girlfriend?" Yusuke grinned broadly.

"Shut up, Urameshi." Kuwabara pushed his plate away and sighed heavily. "Really, though. If you were a girl, would you really prefer a sadistic psycho? Over, like, a normal person?"

"Dude, if I was a girl I'd be so cool. It'd be like in a manga or something. Battle Vixens Unchained. Wouldn't that be cool? And yeah, I'd rather date a badass, so I wouldn't pick either of you." Yusuke leaned back in his chair and scratched idly at his chest. "Seriously, you have the same problem as Hiei. He's too emo-evil and all that, but you're too much in your own way."

Kuwabara considered that carefully. He sat rigidly, a storm of emotion passing over his face before it settled into a faint veil of sadness. Yusuke was a bit shocked to see Kuwabara like that, and several long moments passes in awkward silence.

"It's not necessarily bad, you know," Yusuke said tentatively. "You just need someone who can stand up to it. Maybe Yukina can, and maybe she can't. It's nothing on you, right?"

Kuwabara's shoulders drooped and he closed his eyes tightly. "Yeah, I guess," he said. "But the great Kuwabara Kazuma is a man among men, and he does not give up!"

Yusuke sighed in relief. As long as Kuwabara was still Kuwabara, the world was okay. At least the part of it that didn't include Hiei in a romantic relationship. Yusuke still couldn't get his head around that oneā€¦

How Hiei ended up with a circus chick, and a cannon girl at that, was a conversation better had when drunk, and Kurama had all the good alcohol.