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The Marauders Year 3

Chapter 18: Dark Secrets and Realizations

"Sirius, as amusing as this is to me and Peter watching you glare, jump, and yell at a wall, it isn't doing anything. Just give it a rest." James said from where he and Peter were sitting on the ground by the opposite wall, playing Exploding Snaps.

Sirius angrily kicked the wall before turning to glare at his friends. "You could help me, you know!"

James looked up with an irritated scowl. "We tried to help, but you yelled at us to leave you alone because you could figure it at, you said!" He threw his cards down on the pile, resulting in all the cards exploding and leaving a scorch mark on the ground, but James didn't give it any attention as he stood up. "We've been here for two hours already. Let's just go find Remus. It's almost time for him to leave."

The frown wiped off of Sirius's face immediately at those words and he nodded. As much as he wanted to get in that room already, it could wait until Remus was gone. It wasn't really needed, but all of the boys liked to see Remus off before he left. That didn't necessarily mean they all went with him to the Hospital Wing since that would be suspicious. Two of them usual spoke to him wherever he was before he left with the third to head to the Hospital Wing.

"Fine." Sirius mumbled and the three boys left.

Of course his concern for Remus didn't stop the Black heir from looking over his shoulder as they left, glaring at the wall as if saying that he would be back later to teach it a lesson that it shouldn't defy Sirius Black. That wall was going to learn!

"Where is Remus anyway?" Peter asked.

"Last I knew he was heading to the library. If he's not there, he's either in the tower or headed to the Hospital Wing already because he really did look ready to pass out earlier." James replied.

"Then let us be on our way!" Sirius declared dramatically.



Remus ducked his head at the sneers that the students sent his way as he passed them. He didn't know many of them, but he didn't have to. They all hated and feared him now because of what he was. All they saw in him now was the monster that he was. He was no longer Remus Lupin, a Marauder and Gryffindor to them, but a mindless animal that wanted them all dead.

"Why are they only expelling him? They should kill him now and save us all the trouble." A student sneered loudly so he would hear as he walked passed.

His friend snorted. "Kill him? Lupin should have offed himself a long time ago. It would have saved everyone a lot of trouble."

Remus's breath caught in his throat.

"All he has ever done was cause problems for people."

"We helped you when your father died! Everyone told you he died saving you! That was a lie! I bet he only saved your life so he could get away from you! He hated the fact that you were his son!" Sirius's voice yelled in Remus's mind.

'That's right. If it wasn't for me, my parents could have enjoyed a peaceful life in the wizarding world without always having to move because of the werewolf brat causing problems.' Remus thought bitterly.

Remus shook his head to rid himself of those horrible thoughts and continued walking through the school, sneers and looks of disgusts and hatred all being shot at him from all directions. From the students, from the paintings, from the ghosts, and even from teachers who simply hid it since it was a secret before.

"All werewolves deserve death. They are vile monsters who are a menace to our world. Dumbledore was a fool and an idiot to let a monster like you into our school. Just go and kill yourself already, Lupin! Save us all the trouble of having to deal with you!" James shouted in his mind.

"No, no, no." Remus mumbled to himself, hurrying down a staircase. "It's wrong. It's wrong. They don't hate me. They don't hate me."

Somehow or another, Remus suddenly found himself standing in an empty corridor. He came to a halt and fell to his knees. It was known. His deepest, darkest secret was out. Everyone knew about what he was. His life was over. There was no way his mother would be able to live in peace, even in the muggle world, anymore with this secret out.

Everything was ruined and at an end.

"I can't believe we ever thought you were cool."

Remus turned his head slightly to look at Gideon and Fabian who had come up behind him out of nowhere. His eyes widened when he saw the wands being held in their hands and pointed at him.

"I don't know what Professor Dumbledore was thinking when he let something like you into Hogwarts." Fabian sneered.

"Gideon, Fabian." Remus whispered. "I was a werewolf the whole time. Nothing has changed. Please, you know me."

"No." Gideon sneered as he pressed his wand tip into Remus's neck. "We only thought we knew you, Monster."




Monsters don't deserve to live. They deserve HELL for all the pain and misery they have caused!

Why are you still alive, Remus?

Why are you here?

Do you enjoy all the pain and suffering you cause your friends and family?

Why should they have to suffer with the weight of your secret?

Remus woke up with a gasp, sweat trailing down his face. As he groaned, he covered his face with his scarred hand. He stared at those scars lining his hands with a disgusted look and he ripped his hand away from his face.

He stiffly rolled onto his side to stare at a wall of the Shrieking Shack blankly. Just another normal month in the Shrieking Shack.


"It's not like Remus to just disappear so easily on the full moon." Peter grumbled. "He is always in someplace we know to check so we know where he is at on these days!"

"So why can't we find him?" James asked frustrated.

"Because he is in a mood and doesn't want to be found?" Sirius suggested, only to get glared at in reply. "Okay, no need to glare at me. Let's just go see Madam P."

Nodding, James led his two friends to the Hospital Wing, but no one really spoke during the walk there. James mostly kept silent because of his worry. It wasn't worry for Remus, though he was concerned about Remus and his transformation tonight. It was worry about the Prewett twins. When they went to the library to find Remus, they had split up to search for him. James had come across the Prewett twins, but neither of the two saw him as they were so engrossed in a book they were reading. The real horror came to James when he saw the books surrounding them were about werewolves and he heard them whispering. Most of what they were saying was so quiet that he didn't hear much of it, but he did hear 'full moon' and 'Remus' in their whispers.

That had freaked James out. It sounded like they were getting onto Remus's little secret. Not wanting to be dragged into anything, James had backed away from the twins and ran off to find Sirius and Peter. He didn't mention what he saw or heard to either of his friends though. It wasn't the time for that. He didn't need them freaking out with worry about Remus's secret being found out. They could hopefully sidetrack the twins later on. For now, they had to find Remus.

When they entered the Hospital Wing it was to see Madam Pomfrey bustling around and getting some things cleaned. She looked up in surprise when she heard the door open and saw the three boys walking in. "Hello boys. I didn't expect to see you three tonight."

Peter blinked in confusion. "What do you mean? One of us always comes here to help you with Remus's furry little problem."

Madam Pomfrey smiled a bit to herself at the codename the boys had given Remus's lycanthropy. Remus had told her one day after the full moon that was what they codenamed it. She had thought it was really sweet, especially with Remus fondly complaining about it to her.

"Though." Peter continued as he looked around the empty Hospital Wing. "I see Remus isn't here yet."

Madam Pomfrey stopped what she was doing to look at the boys in shock. "You mean you boys don't know? Mr. Lupin came in by himself a couple of hours ago and decided to go down to the Shrieking Shack by himself tonight a little bit early. Said he needed to be alone for a while to think."

"To think?" Sirius echoed in confusion, looking at Peter, who looked just as confused as him, then at James, who was frowning. "Think about what?"

Frowning, James ran a hand through his hair. He knew Remus had gone to the library the moment that classes had ended and he did see Gideon and Fabian in there. What if they were in there at the same time and Remus saw them studying werewolves? He would have freaked out if he thought they were getting suspicious and gone off on his own again instead of seeking them out because that was the kind of stubborn idiot he was!

"Thank you, Madam P!" James said quickly before he was spinning around and racing out of the Hospital Wing with two confused friends chasing after him.

"James?" Sirius yelled. "What's up? Did you realize something?"

James slowed down until he was stopped in the middle of an empty corridor. He turned to face Sirius and Peter with a serious look as he crossed his arms. "We need to find a way into that room tonight. We've wasted enough time on preparation. We need to get working on Operation Moony."

Peter and Sirius shared a look before looking back at James.

"We get that." Sirius said. "I want to get started learning this as well, but what has you suddenly determined to start this right now?"

James looked around before he said in a lower voice, "Gideon and Fabian. I think they've realized the truth."

"What?" Sirius hissed, though he didn't feel that much shock or surprise though. He, James, and Peter figured it out in their second year before they even studied werewolves. Gideon and Fabian were seventh years who knew a lot more then they did and if they paid enough attention, they would realize something was wrong. They had all known if Gideon or Fabian were curious enough about the disappearances Remus made, the truth would come out. In the end, it was only a matter of time and waiting on the Marauders' part for the truth to come alight.

"I think Remus knows that they might know." James added. "All three of them were in the library today. They might have been in there at the same time and came across each other and if they did…."

"Remus would have run off, brooding and thinking he's going to be expelled for them finding out." Sirius finished darkly.

"If he thinks dark thoughts on the full moon, like he probably is right now, it affects the wolf and will make tonight that much worse for him with the wolf angry and upset." James said, glancing out the window that was near them. The full moon was going to rise soon. Very soon it would be another hellish night for Remus. "Who knows how many of these horrible nights he'll have to go through before we finish project? We don't have time to waste!"


Remus didn't even have to look out the cracks between the boards on windows to know. The moment his body went completely rigid with pain traveling all up and down his spine and to the end of each of his limbs, he knew.

The full moon had risen.

His back arched violently, making Remus claw desperately at something on the couch to hold. His hand had just snatched up a ratty old blanket when his body twisted brutally and he was rolling off the couch. As he rolling, he felt the bones in his hands SNAP and CRACK as the bones broke and reformed. The blanket he was holding went flying into the air because of his uncontrollable thrust of the blanket. As he landed facedown on the ground, screaming out in misery and pain, the blanket landed on top of him. The sound of ripping clothes met his ears next, but it didn't register above his screaming.

Remus's nails dug into the wooden ground; painful, hot tears trailed down his face as he cried out in pain as his bones in his legs SNAPPED and twisted around to form the werewolf's legs. Each of his toes broke. One by one each of them CRACKED violently before they painfully snapped back together and grew bigger and bigger. His toenails grew as well, becoming sharper and sharper that that they were able to pierce the ground and make claw marks on it.

With more explosive pain traveling down his spine, Remus arched himself, which caused his feet to scrape against the ground, making a horrible scraping sound because of his sharp toenails dragging along the ground. His nails dug into the hard floor deeper as his fingers turned into claws and ripped the ground up.

His head tilted back at a horrible, painful angle with him screaming at the ceiling as his face changed shape to become longer. Next fur sprouted all along his body, covering every inch of it and his screams turned into horrible, painful howls.

When the transformation was finished, the wolf collapsed for a moment under the blanket that still covered it and just laid there. After a moment, a long, anguished howl could be heard once more.

Tearing the blanket to shreds, the wolf rose out of the shredded pieces, howling again as he rose.


"What is with this stupid room?" Sirius growled, kicking the wall in frustration, only to have pain flare through his foot, leaving him jumping around on one foot, looking like a fool.

"Kicking isn't going to help." James said.

"No, but it makes me feel better!" Sirius shouted, glaring at the wall hatefully. How dare it mock him?

James raised a brow. "Causing yourself pain makes you feel better?" He smirked. "Why, Sirius, I had no idea that you were a masochist. Why did you never tell me?"

"Damn it! I'm not a masochist!" Sirius shouted before glaring at the wall. "But I do hate this wall."

James rolled his eyes. "Okay, tell me again. What were you doing exactly when you were here before?"

"You expect me to remember exactly? It was weeks ago!" Sirius said, frowning.

"You should have remembered every moment of it just because of the door that appeared!" James argued, pacing in front of the wall. "How are we supposed to make this potion if you can't remember how to get into the room?" He turned around to walk in the other direction. "The moment you entered that room and saw how amazing it was," James turned around again. "You should have recalled every detail of that moment when the door appeared. But nooo."

"Uh…James." Sirius said, eyes wide in excitement.

"Instead of being smart for once in your life, you were an idiot, LIKE ALWAYS, and forgot all about what you did to get into the room!" James continued to rant.

"James." Peter said, staring wide eyed at the wall in shock.

"And now we've wasted hours! Hours, I tell you! Wh–"

"JAMES!" Peter and Sirius shouted with the latter pointing at the wall.


"Look." Peter said.

James turned around to see a big door on the wall. "Well, that is certainly impressive." He said slowly.

"So, any idea of how this happened?" Peter asked, but was completely ignored as both of his friends ran over to the door, fighting over each other to try to be the one to open the door. He sighed and looked around the hallway to make sure it was still clear. Honestly, what type of idiots fought over each other to open a door?

When he looked back at the door it was to see that James had won the struggle and threw the door open and was charging inside with Sirius chasing after him. Sighing, Peter followed the two.


The wolf's mind was going crazy with anguish and sadness. He didn't understand why he was so upset; he just knew that he was upset and the reason why was because of the human soul residing inside of him. The human in him wanted to rip itself out tonight and just howl out all the misery it was feeling. Instead of doing that, the wolf dealt with the anguish in another way. A way to deal with the anguish and his craving for blood and flesh.


The wolf ran around the house, running into everything that it came across until he eventually slammed his shoulder into something sharp and cut open his flesh. Blood trailed down his arm, exciting the wolf even more and when he felt some of the anguish and pain leave him when he cut himself, he got even more violent and the night turned much worse.

The wolf gnawed viciously at his arm to get to the blood that was trailing down the arm. When the blood started to clot in his fur, the wolf got irritated once more and bit down hard on his arm to pull out the blood and ended up piercing the skin in his arm, ripping the skin off, leaving blood to trail all over himself and the ground, but he didn't care. He got the flesh and blood he so desired in his mouth.

Running at another wall, the wolf slammed into it and fell over to the ground, scraping his face on a broken couch leg. The wolf ignored it though as he stood up and shook his head before throwing himself to the ground and twisted his head around to get to his shoulder to bury his teeth in it.

Snarling when he could only get his teeth to scratch at his shoulder, the wolf twisted around and rolled across the ground, bumping into things, but he didn't care. All he wanted, all he cared about, all he craved was human flesh. If he died getting what he wanted, who cared?

All that mattered was his desire for human flesh and blood.


Gideon rolled on his side, opening his eyes to watch Madam Pomfrey bustle out of the Hospital Wing early in the morning. Normally he wouldn't be awake at this time, but last night he had foolishly broken his hand (and he would never tell anyone the truth of how he had done it) and even more foolish then that was that he allowed Fabian to heal it because they had been studying healing spells and Fabian wanted to test one of them. To both of their amazement, Fabian somehow botched the spell up and now Gideon was having his bones painfully regrown.

And because of that, Gideon wasn't sleeping as peacefully as he usual did so he immediately awoke when he heard Madam Pomfrey moving around. It was really strange and confusing to him to see her leave the Hospital Wing in a traveling cloak. He knew she wouldn't be leaving the Hospital Wing for no reason, especially if she had a student in here, so what was she doing?

Too tired to think too much on it, Gideon closed his eyes and fell back to sleep. But his sleep was not restful. His mind moved to Remus, the same Remus who he and his brother saw in the library yesterday and the same Remus who ran away when they were talking about girls being monsters once a month. He ran away and the brothers realized the truth and researched it to make sure they were right.

And there just couldn't be any doubt about it now. Remus Lupin was a werewolf. It was the only logical thing that made sense with his disappearances and reappearances covered in wounds. There was simply no way that Dumbledore didn't know about his student. He had to know and he also had to have a system set up for Remus so he wouldn't hurt any students during his transformation, which is why Remus came back so injured. He was injuring himself to protect everyone else.

Gideon now understood even more now why Remus was a Gryffindor. He was so brave to face that transformation every month and to lock himself way, despite knowing that he would injure himself. He faced that painful transformation every month then came back to Hogwarts and acted like it was nothing. Nothing was wrong, and yet everything was.

He also now understood perfectly why Nazik hated Remus. Their first argument was about werewolves. They just argued about them and Nazik insulted them. Remus basically had to sit there and be told he was a beast and was never going to be human.

After what felt like only minutes of sleep, Gideon ears picked up the sound of quickly moving feet and worried muttering. But even before he heard those sounds, he smelled it first.

The thick scent of a lot of blood.

Someone was bleeding out.

Gideon's eyes snapped open to see Madam Pomfrey hurrying putting a small boy on the closest bed to her potion's cabinet. The boy was covered in Madam Pomfrey's dark traveling cloak, but Gideon could still see it, even if he was tired. He could see the dark spots coloring that cloak that weren't there before. His whole body was covered in blood under that cloak.

As he watched through half-opened eyes, Madam Pomfrey made quick work of getting all the potions she was going to need. Ignoring what the nurse was doing, Gideon looked back at the boy. A small limp hand had fallen off the edge of the bed and just hung there with blood trailing down the hand to the tips of his fingers before dripping to the ground.





Almost as if in a trance, Gideon watched the blood drip to the ground and just listened for each PLOP as it joined the others in making a puddle on the ground.

After what seemed liked ages, Gideon finally worked up the courage to push himself up on his bed and lift his eyes to the boy's face. His eyes widened when he saw the face. Not because he recognized the boy, but because he couldn't even tell who it was. Blood covered every inch of his face. His hair was coated in the red substance like he was swimming in it. The true color of his hair couldn't even be found with how much blood was in it.

"Dear, dear," Madam Pomfrey tutted as she turned back to the boy, not noticing that Gideon was watching.

Gideon didn't even both to turn her eyes to him when he heard her. It wasn't hard to hear her with how quiet it was in the Hospital Wing. All the sound in here was coming from over there. Madam Pomfrey's shoes clicking on the ground, her soft talking, the dripping of the blood, and the harsh, difficult breathing of the boy.

"What have you done now, Mr. Lupin?" Madam Pomfrey asked as she gently peeled the cloak away from his chest, revealing the bloodied and bruised chest with fresh blood now gushing out.

But that was not noticed by Gideon. No, the moment he heard that name escape the nurse's lips, his eyes had flashed back to the boy's face. That was Remus? He didn't even notice. He couldn't even tell that was him! What had he done to himself? Was this what he always looked like after the full moon? And he still came back to school acting like nothing was different?!

"Remus." Gideon unintentionally whispered.

Hearing the whisper, Madam Pomfrey whipped around to look at Gideon. "Mr. Prewett!" She said, but she only looked at him for a moment before Remus groaned then her attention was back on him. She quickly set to work on waving her wand over his chest and muttering a spell before she looked back at Gideon. "If you are well, Mr. Prewett, please go find Professor McGonagall and Professor Dumbledore and ask them to call for Mrs. Potter."

When Gideon opened his mouth to question her, she sent him a glare, so he quickly shut his mouth, jumped out of bed and slipped on his shoes. Without wasting time to look back at Remus, Gideon was out of the Hospital Wing and heading to McGonagall's office first.

It was lucky for him that it was so early in the morning that no students were awake yet and that he didn't run into any teachers patrolling the halls because that would have just slowed him down. And there was no time to be slowed down. Remus did not look in good shape and if Madam Pomfrey was asking for McGonagall to get another healer here (yes, he knew Mrs. Potter was a healer) then it must be horrible and his life was at stake.

"Professor McGonagall!" Gideon yelled, pounding on her door. "Professor McGonagall!"

A very annoyed Professor McGonagall who was still in her night dress opened the door to look at her student. "What is it, Mr. Prewett? It is–"

"Madam Pomfrey needs you in the Hospital Wing and request you call Mrs. Potter here as well." Gideon, quite boldly in his opinion, interrupted her.

After those words left his mouth, the annoyance in McGonagall's stance left and she was already moving over to her Floo network.

After that, everything was pretty much a blur to Gideon. McGonagall called for Mrs. Potter, which did take a while to get her awake and answering the Floo call, then Gideon was sent to find the Headmaster while Mrs. Potter, who Flooed to McGonagall's office quite quickly, and Professor McGonagall headed to the Hospital Wing. Somehow or another, Gideon ended up not even having to go to the Headmaster's office. He had met Professor Dumbledore in the corridor, which shouldn't be that strange, yet it was. It was even stranger because he was drinking hot chocolate at the time. After the situation was quickly explained, the two headed back to the Hospital Wing.

Not wanting to get in anyone's way, Gideon sat back on his bed and just watched everything. He watched, but didn't hear a thing. It was like his mind was in a haze as he watched the two healers quickly work on saving Remus's life with his professors watching on worriedly and quietly talking to each other. He had thought it was normal for Remus to get this injured on a full moon earlier, but he was wrong. Neither McGonagall nor Dumbledore had expected him to show up and tell them to come to the Hospital Wing. They had both been shocked to see the state that Remus was in.

Which just told Gideon that something went wrong with his transformation last night and it was a horrible night for him.

As Gideon was released from the Hospital Wing a few hours later, he saw Professor McGonagall in the corridor, blocking James, Sirius, and Peter from reaching the Hospital Wing. He didn't go over to them, but he did watch as she spoke quickly and quietly to the three teenagers, who quickly lost all color in their faces.

Looking away, Gideon decided to head to breakfast to find his brother. Just like how the Marauders apparently didn't have secrets among them, Gideon and Fabian had no secrets either.


Fabian stared down in horror at Remus. Four days ago at breakfast, Gideon had explained to him in hushed whispers what he saw in the Hospital Wing, but he just couldn't believe it was this bad. All he saw was Remus's face since the rest of him was covered, but after seeing all the bandages wrapped around his neck and his face, the dry blood crusted in his hair, and the sound of harsh groaning that came from him every few minutes, Fabian didn't want to see the rest.

To see him now, Fabian knew why the rest of the Marauders had been so subdued recently. Before now, the twins had avoided coming to the Hospital Wing because the three Marauders were constantly in here watching their friend, waiting for him to wake up. They were always in here, eating and doing their homework. The school knew Remus was injured. It got out somehow and considering the wreck he looked, it was probably best. He would come back with new scars so if they knew he was injured and resting in the Hospital Wing, it would be less suspicious.

The twins had come to visit Remus because the Marauders were in class and they had a break which gave them time to visit him without being question by the other Marauders.

"It's not right, but I can see now why werewolves don't like to lock themselves up on the full moon if this is what happens." Fabian whispered to Gideon, collapsing in a chair besides his brother.

Gideon nodded his head. "Yeah, they are scared to do it. They don't want to face this pain. That's what makes Remus so brave. He'll do this to himself to protect others." He glanced at Remus's face and immediately sat forward. "Is he waking up?"

Glancing down at Remus and seeing his eyes fluttering open, Fabian smirked and drawled, "Morning."

A groan came from Remus. Dazed gold eyes moved over to Fabian then to Gideon. A husky "Huh?" came from Remus.

Gideon chuckled and stood up, moving over the nightstand by the bed to pour Remus a glass of water. "You've been asleep for four days, Remus. Must have been one hell of a night you had."

Remus blinked as Gideon helped him sit up. Knowing that Remus's hands wouldn't help him since they were all bandaged up, Gideon put the glass to Remus's mouth and tilted it back for him. Greedily, Remus drank the water until Gideon pulled it away so he wouldn't drown in all the water he was drinking and set the glass down.

"Are you in any pain? Do you need Madam Pomfrey?" Gideon asked as he sat back down.

Remus shook his head. "No, I'm fine." He looked at the two again with a frown. "You know, don't you? You figured it out that day in the library, right?"

The twins nodded.

"Yes, we know you're–" Gideon started.

"A bloody moody and very vicious girl." Fabian finished with a grin as his brother and Remus stared blankly at him.

Gideon's lips twitched a bit violently as he tried to suppress a smile while Remus groaned and buried half of his face in his pillow. Just like his damn friends.

"We know you're a werewolf." Gideon finished the sentence correctly.

Remus groaned and lifted a bandaged hand to cover the other half of his face. He already knew that they knew the truth. It was just a matter of hearing it from them. "What are you going to do now?" He whispered and the twins had to strain to hear him.

"Nothing," Gideon answered without hesitation. "We are sorry, Remus. Angel was right. We shouldn't have butted into other people's business."

"We had no idea that it was such a dark secret we were trying to uncover." Fabian continued. Noticing the time, Fabian nudged his brother and showed him his watch. "Time for class, Remus. Sorry we can't stay longer, but I'm sure your friends will be here soon."

Remus moved his hand from his eye a bit to watch the two collect their bags off the ground and stand up. When they started to leave, Remus heaved himself halfway up with some difficulty and called, "Hey! Wait!" When they paused at the end of his bed, he asked, "Are you going to tell anyone else?"

The twins looked back at him with frowns.

"What kind of friends would we be if we let the fact that we now know your secret get in the way of our friendship?" Gideon asked. "It doesn't change anything now that we know."

"Don't worry." Fabian added with a grin as the Hospital Wing doors burst open and three teenagers burst in. "No one will hear it from our lips, not even our friends."

The twins walked passed three confused Marauders, though they didn't remain confused for long when they saw that Remus was awake and straining himself to sit up.

James and Peter ran over to Remus on different sides of him to help lower him back down onto the bed.

"What is with you and getting seriously hurt on the full moon?" Sirius asked loudly as the twins walked towards the door with smiles.

"I figured the more I get hurt, the more chocolate I get from you idiots." Remus replied, eyeing the chocolate in Sirius's hands eagerly. He reached out for it, but another hand snatched it first.

James held the chocolate out of Remus's reach, wearing a frown. "Are you going to tell us what went wrong last night? You haven't had a transformation this bad in a while."

Remus thought back to his conversation with the twins and smiled as he shook his head. "It's nothing for you guys to worry about. It's all alright now. I was just being an idiot."

Sirius snorted and snatched the chocolate back from James and tossed it onto Remus's lap. "Wouldn't be the first time."

James looked back at the Hospital Wing doors that the twins disappeared through with a contemplating smile before he was dragged into a conversation with the others about their Potions class where Avery's potion had exploded, creating a huge mess of the lab and getting everyone out of class a few minutes early.

Remus laughed and smiled brightly as Sirius dramatically recounted the scene of Avery screaming like a girl.



Remus looked up from his cards that he was holding to look at Fabian, who was his opponent in Exploding Snaps while Gideon worked on an essay that was due soon.

"What is it?" Remus asked, looking back down at his cards for a moment before at the ones on the bed table between him and Fabian, who was sitting at the end of the bed with Remus curled up on his own side.

"Were you a werewolf long before you came to Hogwarts?" Fabian asked.

Eyes widening, Remus looked back down at his scarred hands. Madam Pomfrey had removed the bandages on his hands earlier that day, but still kept the ones covering his face. Though there were fewer ones on his face then when he first woke up. He looked at the fresh scars that were still bright red on his hands, tracing them with his eyes.

Gideon looked up from his paper with a frown. "That was an insensitive thing to ask. We came here to see how Remus was and to decrease his boredom, not interrogate him."

"I'm not interrogating him! I just wanted to know if he has been one for a long time before he came to Hogwarts. It must have been a huge and difficult change for him." Fabian protested.

"It doesn't mean it's not insensitive. Something like that is private!" Gideon argued.

"I was bitten when I was five." Remus said quietly, efficiently shutting up the twins.

Fabian turned to look at Remus in horror. "You were bitten at five?"

Remus shrugged and looked out one of the Hospital Wing windows. "To be honest, I don't remember anything of my life from before I was bitten. All I know is being this…" He sighed and touched his shoulder where the scar from the bite that changed him was. "I can't remember what it was like to truly be human."


"But you are!" Gideon shouted.

Remus looked back at Gideon to see him standing up with his chair knocked over behind him and his essay falling to the ground.

"Being a werewolf does not change anything, Remus. You can't let what Nazik or any of those other prejudiced people say get to you! You can't let being a werewolf control you or decide everything for you. It doesn't change who you are." Gideon told him angrily, hands shaking at his side. "You only transform into a wolf once a month. The rest of the time you are Remus John Lupin, a human! You mustn't ever forget that! The wolf is not in control here! You are. Always remember that!"

A/N: Pretty please review! I love reviews! They make me soooo happy!