For the sake of the (now-canon!) ship, here's my first TRUE Eleven/River smutfic. Enjoy, fellow shippers!

As usual, Doctor Who is property of the BBC.

A normal night at Stormcage Intergalactic Prison. April 23, 2011. 11:11 pm.

It was her first night in Stormcage, and newlywed assassin River Song had been counting down the hours until –

"River Song, you've got a visitor."

The Stormcage prison guard led the visitor into view – even under the deep blue hooded cloak, River had a feeling she knew who it was. She dare not show her feelings until after the guard had left the premises.

"I know this is rather late, but your visitor insisted on visiting now."

"I understand, Steven. You can go now," replied River, waving goodbye to the guard, who promptly saluted, turned, and walked away.

As soon as Steven the prison guard had disappeared from sight, the visitor pulled his Sonic Screwdriver out of his cloak, sonicked the cell door open, slammed it shut, and pulled down his hood. Sure enough, it was the Doctor – not a Tesselecta copy or a Ganger or even a Nestene – this was the real thing, the real Doctor, warm and real and made of Time Lord DNA… and newly married.

"Hello, sweetie," purred River, wrapping herself around her husband in a tight embrace.

"No need to flirt anymore, my dear," replied the Doctor with a grin. "We're married now. That means we can go deeper…"

River laughed. "Finally, my love… finally."

They kissed then, the real Doctor and River Song, the last of the Time Lords and the accidental Time Lady who loved him, the married couple.

((If you thought the Confidential kiss was hot… you have no idea how passionate this one was. It's impossible to put into words just how steamy and romantic and perfect this kiss was.))

When they finally, finally broke their first true kiss as husband and wife, River looked deep into her husband's eyes and sighed wildly.

"And I thought that robot was a good kisser…. Whoa."

"Nothing beats the real thing, sweetheart," replied the Doctor, leaning in to kiss her again. River gladly accepted it, returning the favor with even more passion. It was bliss, ecstasy, nirvana, when they kissed; the deeper and more intense they grew, the more their arms entangled, the more their hands twined further into each others' hair, the more their mouths and tongues and faces seemed to mesh flawlessly into one another in an endless cycle of perfect kissing…

The Doctor tenderly kissed her neck, throat, and shoulders, then drew back and kissed her nose.

"Oh, Doctor, you do know how to please a girl," sighed River, breathless yet still brimming with that same old River sex appeal.

"It's time, Melody Pond," said the Doctor, mischievous and dramatic and dripping with lust. "The conjugal bed awaits."

Before River could even put her trademark handcuffs on him, the Doctor picked up his wife, carried her out of the cell, and slammed the door behind him. River giggled like a Japanese schoolgirl as her husband ran down the corridor and over the threshold into the TARDIS.

"Close your eyes, Melody Pond," whispered the Doctor, "and don't open them until I say when…"

River did as she was told, and when she could open her eyes she found herself in what could have been the most erotic, most romantic, most perfect master bedroom she had ever seen or been in. A huge blue bed with velvet blankets and pillows, surrounded by floating, flickering cube-shaped candles – on closer inspection, the candles were actually reprogrammed Time Lord message cubes.

"Oh, Doctor, it's – "

"Perfect. I know. The TARDIS knows how to accommodate, yes she does…" the Doctor kissed the bedroom wall and winked at River. "Oh, you sexy thing, I hope you don't get too jealous of what will be going down in here tonight," he whispered to the TARDIS, careful not to let River hear.

"What was that, sweetie?" River looked, confused, at the Doctor.

"Oh, nothing, dear. Nothing at all…"


River began to strip off her prison garb, as sexily and flirtatiously as humanly possible. The Doctor stared, drinking in her image as she undressed. Her body was flawless… those perfect breasts, those fantastic hips… every inch of her made the Doctor shiver with lust.

Once she was completely naked, she leapt onto the bed and took on a compromising pose.

"You sure you don't want to back out of this now, Benjamin?" River gave a sly wink.

"You're trying to seduce me, aren't you, Mrs. Robinson?" teased the Doctor, removing his cloak, his tweed, his shirt, his pants – until he was completely naked, save for a very well-placed bowtie, wrapped round his cock. River's eyes grew wide, and a smile crept onto her lips.

"Yes, Benjamin… yes, I guess I am."


The Doctor jumped into bed, climbed on top of River, and kissed her even more passionately than ever before…

"Sweetie, how in the heavens did you know I liked it rough?" River said teasingly, kissing the outline of her husband's perfectly-sculpted jaw.

"The handcuffs always gave me that impression," he whispered back.

"Spoilers." River pulled her trademark handcuffs out and secured them round the Doctor's wrists, hiding the key in her mass of golden curls.

"Oh, you kinky bitch," replied the Doctor, kissing River's face. It was a challenge to do while handcuffed, but the Doctor managed to kiss his way down her neck and chest, finally submerging his face in her exquisite breasts and kissing them over and over…

"Oh, you clever so-and-so," grinned River, a devilish twinkle in her eye.

She groaned with pleasure as the Doctor buried his face in her surprisingly soft pubic hair. He inhaled deeply and shivered in delight. It smelled like heaven, like pure essence of River Song…

After the foreplay continued for a while, River kissed the Doctor's cheek and removed the handcuffs, tossing them off the bed. As they made eye contact, longing and passion sparked between them.

"Let's fuck," said the Doctor matter-of-factly, clearly aroused beyond his wildest dreams.

"Watch out that bow tie," River said with a smirk, eyes darting to the bow tie still tied around his member.

"Oh, right, that, of course…" said the Doctor with a blush. River untied the fabric from around his cock and felt it throb in her hand.

"Shall we?"

River let him into her, slowly, both of them savoring every second. They moved together, letting the moment sink in and build and build and build…

The sex was, frankly, perfect. The Doctor's cock pushed in and out of her, in time with their heartbeats. River's moans of ecstasy grew in intensity as they came together…

When the climax arrived and the Doctor came inside her, River screamed. A clear clarion call, her scream was one of wild passion and pure, natural love: an announcement to the world that, yes, River Song was quite the screamer; yes, River song was in love and married and having the best sex in all of time and space; and yes, she was happy.

But there was something deeper beyond all that.

At long last, she was actually doing the deed with the Doctor, the love of her life, on the first night of her sentence at Stormcage, in the TARDIS master bedroom, surrounded by glowing cubes of light, with no one to stop her. She may have technically been a prisoner, but tonight… she was free.