Well, this is the final chapter :)

And it isn't really a chapter at all lol. This is actually a little parody list about the canon Junjou Romantica, but since we aren't allowed to publish lists as stories, I just included it in one :)

Anyways this little creation was compiled by me, the wonderful seme Cerberus Revised, and the darling Egoistfangirl. I hope you enjoy it.

Did I say thank you yet? And how wonderful you all truly are? JP was actually my first full length scale fanfic, and to have such great support is every writer's dream. J.K. Rowling herself said "No story lives unless someone wants to listen." And to have so many listeners has brought me infinite happines.

Thank you from the bottom of my yaoi loving heart :)

With love and gratitude,


P.S. And btw, if you are looking for more flamingo insanity, I have a new Sekai Ichi Hatsukoi crack fic out called "Tone Deaf Beauty and the Magical Furry." So if you liked this, chances are the next will make you laugh as well :) as my insanity never dies.

Goodnight...and God's speed.


Things we've learned from Junjou Romantica

(Or pretty much any Nakamura manga)

Stalking most often originates in libraries. Whether it's public or a school library doesn't matter. They will find you.

No matter your profession, you can always look like an Olympic athlete. Even if you're a bookworm or a lazy ass novelist, you have a smoking hot bod.

There are only four types of people: Gay, in denial about being gay, virgin, or female.

You're never too old for bears, pandas, rubber ducks, or trains.

Gray hair and purple eyes are completely normal.

It usually only takes about 2.9 seconds for someone to fall hopelessly in love and begin pursuing. And by the end of the episode, there will be sex.

Smoking makes you look way hotter and has no adverse health effects. Light up all you want.

If someone confesses their love to you, you are obligated to have sex with them at least once. However this doesn't not apply if you are dating and if you are confessed to, go tell your seme so he can get his gun.

When you're in love, age doesn't matter. Period.

Feel free to have sex anytime, anywhere, anyplace regardless of the situation.

Akihiko Usami can write a best selling novel in only half an episode.

Siblings and relatives suck. Considering they are often the best bet to try and steal your beau.

You're parents are either dead or you wish they were.

Drama = more sex.

An uke's opinion about anything doesn't matter.

Unless you are Hiroki Kamijou and you make your opinions matter with a twenty-pound textbook.

Ferris wheels, dark libraries, and graveyards tend to make people hornier than usual.

If you are dating a teacher who is way older than you, don't worry. You will never ever be caught because you are conveniently shielded by the true love factor.

Co-workers/ bosses/ editors will piss you off no matter who they are.

Don't try to understand the time frames of the episodes. Nobody gets them.

Ukes tend to be stupid right at the moments when they really can't afford to be.

Girls ruin everything.

Throwing things at students is not considered child abuse.

You never need to use condoms. Again, true love will protect you from STDs.

Money is available like air.

Always close your eyes during the opening credits to avoid seizures.

Cooking cabbage can go horribly, horribly wrong.

Always leave detailed notes for your lover about where you are going, who you are going with, and when you will be back.

Flowers are great gifts for men.

Your gayness can always be traced back to your painful childhood.

Novelists can justify, or talk themselves out of anything.

Red sports cars tend to scare people for no good reason.

Slicked back hair can look really stupid.

Only older, clearly gay, ukes ever reciprocate (and man do they look hot doing it). Younger ones, in obnoxious denial must only lay back and receive pleasure.

Lube is optional and in most cases never even necessary (yeah right, try telling my ass that).

Seme or Uke there is no such thing as recovery time after an ejaculation...EVER.

Sexual harassment is a good foundation for a relationship

People don't care if they walk in on you sucking your 10-years-younger-than-you lover.

If two semes are after you, there will be a third one.