A/N

I'm gonna go ahead and try my hand at some comedy. Sorry if I fail. This is my second story that I am beginning. I imagine Star Wars is my next stop. I really like the Mortal Kombat series because it has characters and a story that hold up outside of the fighting. If it isn't already obvious, this is a Parody of Meet the Parents and Meet the Fockers. If your wondering why I'm basing this around Lui Kang and Kitana's relationship, it is because I've read many fics where Mileena is often givien the short end of the stick. So I figured I'd knock the two of them down a couple of pegs. Reviews and suggestions are appreciated.


Lui Kang and Kitana stepped through the portal into Edenia from the Nexus.

They were in the capital city, where the royal palace was located. Despite Shao Kahn's invasion, the city seemed to have rebuilt rather quickly. Small yet well kept houses ran all along the streets, occasionally broken up by a larger townhouse. People were relaxing with family and friends, and children were getting into mischief. The sweet smells of freshly baked goods came from a bakery nearby. A fountain spouted water in a large park filled with healthy trees.

The entire sight was heartwarming, but Lui Kang's heart was beating too fast for him to enjoy it. He had faced down powerful enemies like Goro, Shang Tsung, Shao Kahn, and Shinnok to protect Earthrealm. And here he was sweating bullets just thinking about meeting Kitana's parents. More specifically, her father Jerrod. Lui had already met Sindel, albeit she was under the control of Kahn and she tried to kill them. After being freed however, she completely turned over a new leaf and was very anxious to get reacquainted with her family.

According to Kitana the people who were going to be stainying at the palace with them also included Jade and Mileena. He was happy about Jade being there, as she was Kitana's best friend and took a liking to Lui. On the other hand, he was nervous about Mileena. According to Sindel and Kitana, she was trying to fit in with the family, but she was still a killing machine with the mind of a child. A very, very troubled child.

"You feeling okay?" Kitana's sweet voice did help to calm his nerves.

"Oh yeah, great, just fine." He lied with little finesse.

"I can tell that you aren't. You really are the worst liar." She poked at him playfully.

"I don't know, I guess I'm just worried about meeting your dad for the first time."

"You have nothing to worry about! If he accepted Mileena into the circle, what are the odds that he is gonna have a problem with you?" She said as they were walking down the street towards the palace.

"What? A circle? What circle?" Lui asked with reinvigorated anxiety.

"Its nothing really. My dad just thinks of it as a group of people he trusts with the welfare of this family. Its been an ideal my family has been endowed with for generations."

Lui pondered that thought for a moment. Edenians could live for thousands of years. If this circle of trust thing has been a central part of Kitana's family for several generations, it must be pretty damn important to be a part of it. Speaking of which,

"And just who is a part of this circle of trust?" He asked with as much suspicion as curiosity.

" Oh well, all the people you expect. Dad and mom, of course. Then there is myself, Jade because she is like family to us, and Mileena because she is technically my sister, and dad absolutley refuses to exclude her. I think he enjoys having someone who is like a child around for him to be a daddy's little girl." She finished, but a quick glance of her eyes meeting his before looking to the ground gave her away.

"Your a terrible liar to, you know that." He said with a smile as he pulled her close to him while continuing towards the palace.

"Who else is a part of this circle of trust?" He asked kindheartedly.

"No one else, really. Like I said, it includes me, Sindel, Jerrod, Jade, Mileena, and, um, well, Rain" She said the last name quietly, but not nearly quiet enough.

Lui almost fell over when the news made him temporarily lose his footing.

"Rain!" He said rather loudly.

Other people walking the street heard him, and more than one looked into the sky with a puzzled look on their face. Realizing he was causing something of a scene, the couple continued onward to the palace, though at a more hurried pace and a slightly awkward gait from Lui Kang.

"Calm down, it isn't a big deal."

"Isn't a big deal!" His voice quieted down considerably, but increased in intensity and panic to match.

"How is a demi god, formerly Shao Kahn's top ranking general, your ex fiance being a part of some ancient square of trust that I'm just hearing about now not a big deal!" He took a breath and looked at Kitana expectantly.

A fire that appeared in her eyes and voice made him back down a bit, while oddly turning him on slightly at the same time.

"First of all, its circle of trust. Second, Rain and I were being forced to get married, and that was when I thought that Shao Kahn was my father, and third,"

Her expression softened so that she looked very sincere.

"Third, it isn't a big deal because you are amazing. Jade and mother already love, and Mileena, will warm up to you in her own way. And Rain is only a part of this circle because he is a sycophant in front of my father. He will love to call you son." She finished with a smile that, coupled with her alluring lips, perfect nose, and intense yet welcoming eyes hidden slightly by smooth brunette hair, made a face that was impossible to disagree with.

Damn, he thought to himself. He was puddy in her hands at this point. They arrived at the palace gate where too sentries stood vigilantly. As they crossed through, one sentry nodded to Lui, who returned the gesture, and he bowed his head low to Kitana.

"Welcome home princess. Mistress Jade just arrived not an hour ago and asked for me to inform you of her desire to speak with you." He said without raising his back.

She placed her hand on his armored shoulder and thanked him. The second sentry who was looking in a different direction turned and realized that the princess was two steps away from him. He snapped to attention in uncomfortable manner and bowed his head.

"Gr-Greetings Princess Kitana, it is an honor." He stammered, and sounded noticeably younger than his partner.

Being taller than her and looking down, the young man found himself staring directly at her large, prominent, and barely hidden breasts. He looked up with horror in his eyes, and despite wearing a full face helm, it was likely that he was blushing.

Kitana gave him a look of a single razed eyebrow and a smug grin that showed that he had been caught red handed. Lui saw the older sentry face palm because of his bumbling partner

"Continue on with the good work men. I'll pass on the good word of you to General Jade." She said as she continued on. Lui followed behind her and the peeping sentry bowed to him as well and begged his pardon. Lui smiled reassuringly to him. Truth be told, he was surprised that more people didn't stare at Kitana, Jade, Mileena, Sonya, and even Sindel. Their attire was rather revealing, especially Mileena's.

The couple continued on, and the both of them spared a quick glance back to see the more professional sentry smack the other across his helmet.

"What I do?"

"You don't use greeting the princess as an excuse to ogle her cleavage! Especially not on your first day. You do realize that her best friend is one of the army's generals, don't you? Not to mention that Kitana can kick your ass to the Neatherrealm and back."

The younger sentry turned and stared in their direction, probably scared for his job. Lui couldn't help but smile.

At least I'm not the only one having a rough first day.

The palace looked different on the inside. All traces of Shao Kahn had been cleansed. The blood red drapes that had covered the windows were removed to reveal amethyst colored glass that cast a beautiful glow on the interior. Servants were going to and fro carrying everything from laundry, to food, to decorations. It was a refreshing change of pace from the Tarkatans and hulking sadistic executioners that normally stalked the halls of the palace.

Kitana stopped in the entrance to the throne room. She stared thoughtfully into the room, wincing when her gaze fell on the huge throne. Her memory was littered with the times that she had stood next to it, waiting on the call of her false father. All the terrible things she had done while loyal to that man marred her otherwise pleasant returning to the Edenia she loved. Lui's arm wrapped around her and lead her way.

"You aren't the tool that Kahn treated you as, and you shouldn't let those memories ruin your return home."

She nodded to him wordlessly. She knew he was right, but it was still hard to let these things go.

"Your right. Kahn is gone now, and Earthrealm and Edenia are rebuilding. I need to be here for my people if I'm going to take the throne one day." She sounded much more confident in herself.

Across the hall a figure clad, rather scantily, in green clothes stood straight with her hands crossed behind her back.

"Welcome home, princess."

Kitana took maybe three steps before breaking into flat out sprint, closing the distance of twenty feet in seconds.

Jade unclapsed her hands from behind her back and embraced Kitana in a hug that nearly knocked her off her feet from the speed. It had been nearly four months since they had seen each other in Earthrealm during Kahns invasion.

"Its been too long my friend." Kitana said without breaking the hug. Lui had finally made his way over to the to women. He couldn't help but grin at the scene. Along with Kitana, Jade was one of the most beautiful women he had ever scene. Her dark skin, emerald green eyes, hair similar to Kitana's but kept in a more functional style. Not to mention her curvaceous body, slim and fit belly, long legs leading up to a firm round buttox.

Almost mimicking the sentry outside, Lui was caught staring. Jade smiled her mischievous smile and began walking towards him. He gulped loudly.

"I hope your not too busy admiring the decor to say hello, Lui Kang." She said playfully as she hugged him.

That was another thing about Jade. She was intelligent and had the wit to break the ice of almost any situation, or cut you to ribbons if you made her angry.

"Never to busy to say hello Jade. You look good."

"I know." She giggled softly.

"You, on the other hand, look like your ready too pass out."

He sighed, he thought he had left the feeling of nausea at the front gate, but it was impossible to keep anything from Jade.

"Well, I am pretty nervous about meeting Jerrod."

"I would imagine so after everything Kitana told you about him.

"Yeah, the whole circle of trust thing was surprising, and I won't even mention how I felt when I learned that Rain was a part of it."

Jade looked puzzled.

"Wait, you mean she didn't tell you that,"

Behind Lui, Kitana was running her hand across her throat, a signal for Jade to avoid what she was about to tell Lui.

"That, Mileena is staying her as well?" She used all of her cunning to make sure she didn't give herself away.

"Oh no, I know about Mileena. It is going to be pretty interesting having her around. If you ladies will excuse me, I need to find a bathroom."

"Down the hall on your left." Jade said with a calmness that Lui was unable to determine as urgency.

He followed her directions and disappeared around the corner. Jade turned to Kitana like an older sister about to scorn her sibling for doing something very stupid.

"I'll tell him, eventually."

"Eventually is coming soon, and I don't think he should face it blindly."

Lui found the bathroom right where Jade said it would be. Apparently, royal bathrooms where about the size of an average Earthrealm living room, though twice as lavishly decorated. Even though Edenians are generally healthier and hardier than regular humans, not mention magically endowed, they seemed to be quite far behind Earthrealm when it came to technology. They did seem to invent indoor pluming, thankfully. He had too drop a deuce like nobodies business because of his nerves wreaking havoc on his stomach, though the spicy deep fried spring rolls he had shared with Kung Lao at the Shaolin monastery just an hour before meeting up with Kitana were making him pay dearly for his indulgence. He pulled the chain hanging from the ceiling to flush the toilet, a rather archaic design compared to Earthrealm toilets. As he turned to leave, he heard a sound that resembled a gurgle one would make when choking on one's own blood. He turned and saw something infinitely more horrifying.

The toilet, filled with his freshly made pile of fecal matter, was backing up!

"Oh shit!" He said to himself. He was too busy having a panic attack to realize his unintended pun.

"Kitana, come her dear!"

Though being nearly fifty feet away, Sindel could be heard as clearly as if she were standing next to you. Her loud voice was her first greeting, as well as her deadliest weapon when the need arises. Sindel met Kitana and Jade half way and embraced her daughter lovingly. Kitana returned the hug with equal pleasure. Despite Sindel trying to kill her when revived by Quan Chi, her regained free will had made her the loving mother Kitana remembered.

"It is so great to see you mother. How have you been? You look exhausted."

"Well trying to get Edenia back into order since regaining the throne will do that to you. Not too mention how stressful its been trying to keep Mileena under control. She really is a sweet girl, sometimes, but her little episodes have been a hassle. She has taken two stealing the guard's weapons, ordering them to chase her to get them back, and then threatens them with their own blades when they finally corner her. Eric, a young fellow you may have seen while on the way in, nearly lost a hand when playing one of Mileena's little games." She said with an exasperated expression."

Kitana couldn't help but chuckle at the thought of the sentry who had been caught staring at her breasts wetting his pants trying to retrieve his sword from her deranged twin sister. He was probably staring at Mileena's barely concealed features as well during that time, considering that her sister dressed even more scandalously than she did.

"How have you and father beend doing together." Kitana asked.

"It is like he never died. He is exactly the same man he was before he died, except for the obvious of course."

"I know, I know." Her father's unique situation was odd, most definitley. But he didn't let it put a damper in his pride or the way he acted in front of his family or in public. He still carried himself with an air of superiority, but also exerted confidence in others. He made you feel like he had everything under control.

"Speaking of father, where is he?"

"Oh he is still at the peace meeting between the Shokans and Centaurs. He wants to make sure that Goro and Motaro can divide up Outworld peacefully."

"Wait, he's in Outworld? Howed he get there?" Kitana asked very curiously.

"He can't manipulate portals yet, so Rain opened a portal to Outworld and joined him at the peace treaty."

"Why did Rain go with him?"

"You know how much your father loves Rain. They both share common interests, like governing and history and kombat."

History? I don't remember Rain being interested in any learning beyond how to take the throne from Shao Kahn. Kitana thought to herself rathea r suspiciously. She quickly dismissed it when a more pressing matter crossed her mind.

"Will Rain be staying here for the next two weeks?"

"Well of course. Your father wouldn't have any of it when Rain insisted that our family get back together without him. You know Jerrod, if your in the circle of trust you are family. Lui Kang won't mind will he?"

"I won't mind what?" Lui Kang asked who had escaped notice when walking into the amidst a group of servants. He had just a trickle of sweat running down his back after trying to get away from the sight of his messy, spring roll filled incident.

Before Sindel could explain, Kitana cut in.

"Lui, we need to have a talk in private. Its about,"

Just then the twin doors into the room were opened with two servants complete with bowed heads and averted eyes entering first, pulling the door as wide as they would go. After the doors were completely opened a tall, confident, purple clad figure radiating power stepped through the entry way. The two servants nearly fell two thier knees when he walked past them.

"My,my. How fortunate I am to find myself in such lovely company. And a Shaolin monk." He said as he shot Lui Kang a rather condesending look. Despite wearing a mask that covered his face from the nose down, he was able to convey attack in his eyes alone.

"Rain,your back." Said Sindel far too excitedley for Lui Kang' taste.

"Greetings your highness." Rain bowed his head.

Sindel threw her arms around him.

"Oh stop it. How many times do I have to tell you to call me Sindel?" She said as Rain threw his arms around her into a hug that lifted her off the ground.

"At least once more." The both of them chuckled as he put her back on the ground.

"Hello Jade, or is it General Jade?" He chuckled, much to satisfied with himself for her taste. Jade took a stepped towards, placed her hand upon his shoulder, looked him in the eye and said,

"Only to you, General Rain." She said this in such a calm voice that it almost gave away the hidden insult.

"Of course it is." He said it in a cheerful voice, but she caught the brief second of anger flare in his eyes. Needless to say it made her smile under her green mask.

"Ah, Kitana, you are looking as beautiful as I rememebr." He extened his hand, palm facing up, and to Lui Kangs chagrin, she rested her hands upon his.

"It is good to see you Rain." She said so without hitch but couldn't help but spare a quick glance at Lui Kang to gauge his response. He seemed passive, at least for the moment.

Rain bowed his head low to her, and if it weren't for his mask, he probably would have kissed her delicate hand. He then turned to Lui Kang, who had been glaring at him since he had entered. The two of them have never actually spoken to each other, but neither of them seemed to be willing to spare the other the benefit of the doubt

"And you are Lui Kang, yes. I understand you are from Earthrealm, and Kitana's boyfriend." He didn't offer his hand in greeting.

"And you are Rain, from what I've heard. I understand you are a demi god, and a general of the Edenian army, and a prince." He didn't offer his hand in greeting either. Then an invisible smile formed on his lips.

"And Kitana's ex fiance." Boo yeah, he thought to himself.

Behind Rain, he could see Kitana give him a withering look, Jade an encouraging one, and Sindel seemed completley oblvious. It was a good thing Rain had his back turned them, as it wouldn't have done his reputation as a confident general much good if they had seen his eye twitch at the comment. A dark,almost violent glare fell on Lui Kang. Since Rain stood 6'4 to his 5'10, was broader in terms of muscle, and had twin daggers at his hilt, Lui Kang admitted to himself that he was a little intimidated.

Before what seemed to be the inevitbability of someone being ripped in half, Sindel unwittededly defused the situation.

"So Rain, how did the meeting between the Shokans and Centaurs go."

"It was going well until two of the highest ranking and most powerful Shokans behind Goro lost thier temper when Motaro suggested that the living forest be turned over to the Centaurs. Jerrod managed to calm Sheeva. He truly is a brilliant democrat. Kintaro, on the other hand, needed to be put in his place. Jerrod was more than capable of handling it, but I insisted that he let me handle the overgrown feline." He stood up even straighter than he was before, impossibly.

"It was no trouble at all."

"So where is my father now?" Asked Kitana, hoping to to help Rain get over himself.

"He should be by soon. He stayed behind at the entrance gate to show some idotic guard how to properly hold his sword. It is a wonder how the little fool hadn't cut off his own head with the way he was flailing about." He turned again to Lui Kang.

"I bet you are eager to meet Jerrod, eh, monk."

"I sure am, prince." He frowned to himself when he realized calling someone prince wasn't very condesending.

"Well thats good, because here he comes now."

All eyes went to the door which once again had two servants preceding the figure who was walking in. Once seeing him, Lui Kang immediately moved forward, shoving Sindel to the ground in the process, and flew into a flying kick. He thought he heard Kitana scream something behind him, but he was commited now. Three feet from where his foot would collide with the chest of his opponent, he stopped dead in the air with a green aura surrounding him. Then he was blasted away and collided with crash onto the half set dining hall table. Before he could recover, the same force had pinned him there with his limbs spread.

"Who are you, to dare assault me and my family in my home!" A mulitude of voices spoke as one.

"Father please, stop! This is my boyfriend!" He released his telekinetic hold on Lui Kang when Kitana reached him.

Father?

"This is Lui Kang, the one you told me about?" The many voices asked.

"Kitana run! Its Ermac!" He shouted as he got back into a fighting stance.

His audience had a varied reaction. Sindel looked looked like she felt sorry for him because of his ignorance, Jade shot Kitana a look that read 'I told you so.', and Kitana had facepalmed with both hands. Rain looked like he was about to keel over from supressed laughter, and Ermac looked rather peeved, though his expression seemed to have softend a little. Sindel came over and stood between the two men.

"Lui, sweetie, I'm afraid there is something that we haven't told you."

He waited for what she had to say, but didn't let Ermac out of his sight.

"When Shang Tsung created Ermac, he use thousands of souls to do it. Jerrod's soul was one of these. When Shao Kahn was destroyed all of the souls withing Ermac's body fought for control of the body. Jerrod prevailed over all of them and has regained his identity, though he is still merged with Ermac's body."

Lui Kang took a few moments to let it all sink in, then felt all the color drain from his face when he realized he now stood ready to put his fist through the chest of Kitana's father, sort of. He abandoned his fighting stance and tried desperatley to think of something, anything that could somehow help him out of this mess. What came out of his mouth was neither intelligent nor flattering.

"Uuhh, shit."

Just then a ruckus could be heard in the hall. Several servants armed to the teeth with cleaning supplies where rushing to the western side of the castle. The one who seemed to be leading this charge was screaming at the others.

"Hurry up! The entire western bathroom has been flooded by that backed up toilet, its starting to spread into the main corridor and thier is shit everywhere! Who's job was it to put up the sign that said 'Do Not Flush'?"

"It was mine sir, I'm sorry but someone in a black and orange tunic with a red headband went in before I had a chance to put up the sign."

Five pairs of eyes fell on Lui Kang, who fit the description of the batroom disaster culprit. They had thier previous expressions of pity, embarrasement, contempt, and barely contained joy.

Lui Kang once again tried to find the words that could help him out. The only words he found were once again unitelligent and unflattering.

"Uuhh, shit."

Biggest understatment ever, as far as the servants cleaning the bathroom were concerned.


So there is my first attempt at a comedy. Sorry if it gets a little dry, and I understand that the characters are probably out of character. I tried to keep them similiar to thier in game personalities, but I ask you to let it slide a bit. If it wasn't already obvious, then yes I find all the women in Mortal Kombat to be incredibly sexy, even Mileena. Not just for thier looks mind you, I find Jade's intelligent and sassy personality to be very attractive. Expect more from Rain. I think he's a cool character that hasn't been given enough development, so I plan to work a lot with him. I know that the story dosen't macth the movies I mentioned exactly, I'm using the theme more as a basis. Please review and leave any suggestions you may like to see and I'll do my best to work with it. Ermac owns. BTW, expect Eric to continue getting into trouble.