Disclaimer: I do not own the characters, I just manipulate them and force them to do my bidding :) Plot's mine though, so hand's off the merchandise. All shoplifters will be prosecuted.


Edward Cullen had a fetish.

And it wasn't just any fetish, oh no. It was, in his 17 year old opinion, the sexiest, hottest fetish to ever be fantasized about. And while he wasn't particularly a religious guy, he found himself praying to The Big Man Upstairs every night since he had first came across the object of his extreme desires in a costume catalogue.

The Sexy Librarian.

Hell, a sexy nerd was just as good. Something about the glasses. The prim and dorky clothes hiding a tight and lithe body that no one got to see but him. A woman who didn't display the goods for the whole world to see...who, in the privact of his bedroom would take off her glasses, shake out her hair and say "Do you know what the fee is for an overdue book Mr. Cullen?" or "Hi Mr. Cullen. I'm here to take care of that problem you're having with your hard drive."

He dreamed about it, pictured it in his mind constantly. He even had an entire 10 gigs of porn solely dedicated to it on his computer. Hadn't watched any other kind since he was 14.

Shit, if he got to play out that fantasy just one time, he'd never have to watch the porn again...or at least, not for a few months. If he got to actually BE with a girl like that, then he would die a very happy man. And if he got to-


His twin's voice had the power of a bucket of ice water over his a sigh, he flounced back into his pillows. At least Mjolnir's death was a quick one. Maybe he could just ignore the brat and she would go away so he could get in some 'private movie time' before school.

No such luck.

She started pounding on the door."

"EDWARD!" she yelled. "Come on lazy! Get up!"

"Alice!" he whined back, not wanting to move from his soft and supple bed. "What's the big damn deal? We don't have to be at school for another hour!"

"Just move your ass mister. There's gonna be a new student today and I've got a very good feeling about this."