A/N: Yes, yes. New story. It's a oneshot, though I think there should be a name for 'oneshots' longer than 3000 words, and this is clearly longer than 3000 words. First of all, I am sorry for writing this. Well, the ending, I am sorry for writing the ending.
Anyway, off to the usual: any mistakes are mine. There's some stuff to disclaim, so here we go:
Of course, I do not own Victorious. Jori would be canon by now, ;)
I do not own the movie One Week, though I have considered buying it. Haven't seen it? Go! It's with Joshua Jackson, on a motorcycle, touring through Canada. I know Jade would hate it, but it's pretty inspiring. Sometimes.
I do not own The Lion King, nor do I own The Lion King 3D, nor do I own 3D. But man, how epic is that movie? Still need to see it in 3D, though.
Of course I could just have said "I own nothing," but then I'd be lying, because there is something I DO own! Yes, get ready, hold on tight.
The lyrics featured in this piece are mine! Yeah, they are. Now go read! And enjoy!
In My Life
You scoff when she tells you she has the biggest crush on you. Who blames you for assuming this is just another joke? And really, you can come up with a hundred reasons right now why you two wouldn't work out as a couple. You punch her shoulder lightly, speak the word 'funny' and turn around, heading to class. And in doing so, you miss the slightly disappointed look on her face.
You avoid her for more than a week, not because you're scared or something, but because you couldn't sleep that day she told you. She got you thinking and you don't like it. At all.
However, now you miss her presence during lunch. And half a week later, you start noticing. You notice her from a distance, you can see when something's wrong. And another half a week later – two weeks after she told you – you notice her watching you. You notice the change in her behavior and posture when she catches your eyes, when she smiles briefly. And it makes your stomach do flip flops you can't explain or control. And then one day you are completely done with it. The girl tells you she's crushing on you and as a result you start crushing on her. But it's one hell of a crush.
She joins the group with lunch again and you can barely contain the wide smile threatening to break free every time she sits down. Your heart and stomach keep doing crazy, acrobatic stunts when she's near, when she accidentally brushes your arm, your hand. You are completely done with it. So when you both have twenty minutes off before Sikowitz' next class you drag her into the janitor's closet. And you finally understand why she keeps doing that to people; it feels damn good. So you tell her that, to break the thick tension consuming you.
"Now I understand why you keep dragging people in here. It feels good." You offer her a genuine smile which she returns with a smirk.
"I only do that to you." And the tension is back again, washing over you like a thick rain on a late autumn day. And you just must break the tension with words again, it's the only thing that works.
"You keep watching me." However, your words shake hands with that overwhelming tension and it only becomes thicker and thicker.
"You watch me too." And you can do nothing to hide the blush creeping up on your face. She takes a step closer and although it intimidates you, you keep your ground.
"You're cute when you blush." And really, you can come up with a hundred reasons right now why you two wouldn't work out as a couple, but those words make you blush even harder and you're about to vomit butterflies. Oh, I'm sure she would love that sick comparison. So lost in thought, you don't notice her hand on your cheek until she brushes your cheekbone with her thumb. It amazes you how sweet and tender she is when no one else is around.
"Are you going to laugh at me again?" She looks a little bit hurt, but she smiles. And you shake your head. What's there to laugh about when you feel exactly the same.
"Jade…" Because there is nothing else you can say. You wish she could just simply read your mind so you won't have to say it out loud to her. But you know, even if she can read your mind and already knows, she'll make you say it. Just for the sake of her.
"Jade, I…" Where you get the bravery from is beyond you, but you are willing to say it. You even want someone to hear it. Not like all those times you've said it to the silence of your bedroom. You want someone to hear and respond to it.
"I know." She doesn't even give you the chance to say it. But you don't really care, because she knows. She knows. And she's not laughing at you or posting an entire recording of your conversation on The Slap. She knows and she is not at all being the Jade you know. Because before you realize it, her arms are connecting behind your back, pulling you close in an embrace that makes you feel safe and loved. And for a brief moment you are absolutely certain your heart stopped.
But then the next day she is mean to you again and you mentally slap yourself for believing her. For falling for her. This was all a joke and you knew it. You shouldn't have been so stupid and believe her when she said she likes you. And you sure as hell shouldn't have gone to that one place where you told her you like her too. But that's exactly where you went, and now you're sitting against a wall of the janitor's closet, crying against your own will. You're so lost in it, so devastated, hurt and broken that you don't hear the last bell ring, the hallways empty and the door open. You hear it close, though, and you jerk your head up. The dim light coming from the covered window surrounds her in a beautiful halo and you're about to ask if you died and Heaven is a janitor's closet. But you can't, because just the sight of her takes your breath away and so you gaze at her as she moves to crouch in front of you. Her hand reaches your face again and she brushes away the tears.
"Why are you crying?" And out of nowhere she is sweet and loving again, and it confuses the hell out of you. So you look away, because you are not sure what to think, what to feel. You hate being a teenager, with all the hormones and emotions running through you. You hate her for making you fall for her.
You hate her for hooking her finger under your chin, turning your head to face her. It surprises you how you only noticed her beauty two weeks ago. But maybe it's the small, genuine smile she's wearing only with you – for you – that makes her so much more beautiful. You don't get to see that often; Jade West smiling. But it doesn't stop your tears, it only fuels them and they are falling from your eyes like they are part of the Niagra Falls.
"Did I make you cry?" Her smile faltering, her voice worried. You nod, because somehow you can't hide the truth from her and somehow you know she didn't mean it. And she didn't, because she sighs and asks you what she did, what she can change. She's willing to change. And so you take her home with you, because this is a conversation you refuse to have in a janitor's closet.
When you close the door behind you, you lean against it first. You hear her sit down on your desk chair, because the sound of squeaking springs breaks the silence. You turn around, all the bravery in the world collected in your lungs and you are going to throw it out there. So you tell her you like her too, again, you tell her you're afraid that's she playing games and you tell her…
Well, you tell her nothing else, because soft lips capture yours.
It's weird how one month later you call her your girlfriend. But only in your mind and only when you speak to her. Because at school no one knows and at home no one suspects. You greatly value the days when Trina is out with 'friends' and your parents are either working late, visiting family or spending time together. Those are the days Jade comes – and leaves – through the front door, instead of the window. Those are the days you and Jade sit on the couch together, snuggled up, watching television. Those are the days you greatly value. And tonight, with Trina at a party she most certainly invited herself to and your parents at dinner with your father's colleague, is no different. You have been thanking the universe – and whoever listens to your inner monologues – all day for having all those events take place on the same day, because today is your one month anniversary. One month, 4 weeks, 30 days.
And so you find yourself on the couch, buried into her, watching a movie that will leave you with nightmares. But her arm is around you and her hand is holding yours and you don't care what movie she's making you watch. You aren't really watching anyway. Her blue eyes captivate yours, if you're not distracted by her lips turning into smirks and genuine smiles. You close your eyes every once in a while when she lets out a laugh - someone's horrified death screams in the background. It's probably one of the most beautiful things you have ever heard. You make a recording of it in your mind every time, so you can listen to it whenever you want. But it's never the same as when you hear it live.
You open your eyes again, ready to start another session of staring at her. But your eyes intently lock with hers and you realize just know she paused the movie. Or it stopped, you're not willing to look away to check. You simply look at each other and then she brings her hand to your face, tucking some loose strands of her hair behind your hair. The feeling of her fingertips grazing your cheek makes you shiver, makes your stomach re-enact the Fourth of July, only with butterflies. One month, and those stupid bugs are still there, multiplied even. They're stupid, they make you do stupid things, but at the same time you love the way they make you feel. Like now. When she's leaning in and so are you. When she looks at your lips for a second and you at hers. When you both close your eyes and your lips meet perfectly. You remember the first your lips met. That afternoon you cried your eyes out, fearing she was playing a game. You know now she is not. And if you still did; her tongue gently tracing your bottom lip steals away all your doubts. Replaces them with even more butterflies and a feeling you can only describe as love. One month, but when she traces your tongue with hers for the first time, it all feels so pure, so true. So right. And you never want to let go of this feeling, you want it to last forever.
Your hands roam through her hair, messing it up, but you don't care. Her hand is on your cheek, the other on your back, pushing you closer. And just as you pull apart for less than a second, to twist your head to the right from the left, the door opens. Breaking your moment, killing your butterflies. Your hands still in her hair, her hand still on your cheek, your lips red and swollen, you look at your parents utterly confused.
"Mom, dad! I thought you were out for dinner!" You jump up from the couch, hand scratching the back of your neck nervously.
"We were, but there was an emergency, so the Kinks had to leave." Your father is ever so calm, your mother looks astonished, confused. Embarrassed? Her eyes go from you to Jade – who's now standing next to you – back to you. She is stuttering.
"Tori... You... What?"
"I should leave." Jade is already taking a step and you hate this moment. This is not how you wanted to tell your parents. Maybe you weren't even going to tell them at all, until they'd get the invitation for you and Jade's wedding day – as if. But you're all here now.
"No. Please, Jade, stay." She turns around and she's reading your mind – or rather your eyes, but she always seems to know what you think, so you assume she can read your mind. She slightly shakes her head, her eyes pleading with you not to tell. You slightly nod and she gives in anyway, moving to stand next to you again.
"Tori, is there something you want to say?" Subtle, dad. Your mother moves closer to your dad, about to hold his arm. You're about to chicken out, tell them you two were rehearsing for a schoolplay; you can just see you're disappointing your mother with this.
"Tori and I... We're kind of, you know, together." Jade takes over for you, as she protectively grabs your hand. Your parents notice the gesture, and after a while they simply nod.
"How long?" Your mother seems calmer now.
"A month today." And honestly, you can't help but smile and briefly look at her – your girlfriend.
"Why didn't you tell us before?" Your mother is taking a step closer to you, your father is surprisingly smiling, nodding at you with an approving look.
"I... I don't know. I guess, I was afraid to... disappoint you?" Your mother wraps you in a firm hug, smiling, a little bit crying.
"Sweetie, you're not disappointing me." And so you, and Jade, spend the most uncomfortable hour talking with your parents. When you knew, how you knew, how serious it is. Both of you answer half of the questions with smiles and 'you know's. You can sense in everything that this is difficult on your mother, but she accepts it and she's happy for you. Both of you.
And before you know it, it's midnight and your parents tell Jade she won't be going home alone anymore, so she can stay. Your mother even hugs her before you disappear upstairs.
In My Life
So she doesn't hold your hand and she doesn't wrap her arm around you, but you still call tonight a date as you walk home from the cinema. You even got to pick the movie and she even seemed to enjoy it, at times.
And your parents are simply the best. Over the last three weeks your mother has become your biggest supporter – if you two were in a tv-show, she'd be the number one shipper. Your parents make sure Trina's out almost every weekend. They even give her money to go places, so you and Jade can spend time together. Sometimes your parents are home, sometimes not. But they always give you your privacy.
Same goes for tonight. They gave Trina some money to go shopping at the mall and even lengthened her curfew. You cannot wait to sit on the couch with Jade and hear her complain about the movie. How 'you made a horrible pick, Vega.' But when you open the front door you see Trina running around the living-room, yelling words you can't even hear and both your parents look at you and Jade apologetically as you close the door.
"We gave her money, but apparently her tv-show is on and it isn't worth missing."
"I have thirty bucks." She always has thirty bucks, like always. It's also the first amount of money she names to get something done.
"Already tried." And your father totally understands. His thing used to be twenty-five bucks, but Jade convinced him – in a one hour discussion – why thirty bucks is always better.
"Trina, please!" She hasn't stopped running and yelling, and it's giving you a headache.
"Oh, Tori, you're home. Where have you been?" She is interested in you? That truly touches you.
"You were supposed to do my chores today." Okay, she wasn't interested... Should've known.
"Yeah, yeah, yeah." You sit down on the couch, sighing in, well, defeat. So far for placing your legs on Jade's lap and reviewing the movie. Jade sits down next to you, brushing your hand, smiling. Your parents are watching you two and suddenly it's eerily quiet.
"Is there something wrong?" Trina's looking around the room, wondering why no one's speaking, maybe even wondering why Jade is with you.
"Nope." You realize very well that you're sounding bitter and Jade is smirking at you. It makes you sort of proud. And brave. She makes you brave.
"I just kinda hoped to be able to sit here with Jade, without being interrupted." You could always go up to your room – which you usually do – but with Trina at home you would need fifteen locks on your door to not get interrupted.
"Why is she here anyway?" Trina is now sitting on the couch too, your parents in the kitchen.
"Because she's my girlfriend." Your parents gasp, Jade is staring at you. They all knew you had wanted to tell Trina differently. However, she is just sitting there, studying her nails and you feel like saying it again, because it looks like she didn't hear you. Then she sighs and speaks up.
"Jeez, Tori, I know she is a girl and your friend. Doesn't mean you have to call her your girlfriend." Oh really, if this was a cartoon – or that movie One Week – you would grab a gun right now and shoot yourself. How stupid can a person be?
"No Trina, you don't understand. She is my girlfriend and we are dating." You look at her intently and she opens her mouth to say something, then closes it without making a sound. She tries again.
"You... You mean she is your girlfriend." You and Jade nod.
"Well, how long?" Seriously? No one of your family is telling you this is absurd and insane? Not that you want them to, but they are all so calm. You're telling them you're gay and all they want to know is how long.
"Almost two months."
"And you're only telling me just now?" Her voice is raised and she is standing now, looking angry and hurt.
"Well, I-I thought you would..."
"What? Freak out? Tori, I am your sister. I don't care who you date! I do care that you didn't care to tell me earlier." A tear is stinging in your eye because this is not the reaction you expected from her. Ever. But it makes you want to stand on the roof and scream out how your sister is the best. It makes you want to burst out in song and sing her that she's the only reason you're not afraid to fly. It makes you jump up and hug her close as tears stream down your face.
It's weird how two days later, on a Monday, you and Jade walk into school holding hands. You feel save and ready to conquer the world with her by your side. The gaping and whispering all around you doesn't even reach. It's as if her presence throws a protective shield around you, guarding you from all that's evil. When you stand smiling together at your locker and you see Beck coming, you notice how everyone turns to you. As if it's a tv-show and the big, jealous 'she's mine, I am better for her' show-off is about to begin. But he smiles, hugs Jade first, then you and the whispering returns. Confused and curious. You grin. Little do they know.
You hate telling Beck first. Especially because you have been dating for almost two months now, and Jade and him broke up two and a half months ago. You feel like you're taking his place, which actually you are, but it just feels weird.
As you sit down in his RV he has this knowing look on his face, and it makes you either comfortable or extremely uncomfortable.
"Beck. I think you already know what we're about to say." He nods, a big grin plastered on his face, as he rests his left foot on his right leg.
"I'm glad you finally figured it out for yourself." And that's what everyone says. Andre, Robbie, even Cat. Where you two that obvious?
The whispering and gaping makes you feel so uncomfortable. You were okay with it the first day or so, you understood. But you're a week later now and people still point at you before whispering.
You feel two hands on your face, covering your eyes, and you simply feel they're Jade's.
"Close your eyes." So you do. Then you feel your hair being brushed to the side and something is sliding over your neck. Seconds later you open your eyes, turn to Jade and smile at her as you hold the ring around your neck. Two months never felt so good. Being with Jade never felt so good, especially because the whispers stopped after that.
In My Life
You have never been this nervous in your entire life and as you sit at the long table in your living room – the couch and coffee table temporarily removed to the garage – you wish you could just fall through the ground. Or run upstairs and hide in your closet – how ironic. But Christmas is so your favorite time of year, you've always loved spending it with your family. And you and your mom have been planning it for weeks now, like you do every year. And Jade sitting next to you this year makes it even more beautiful. But still you are so freaking nervous and surprised why no one even asked you who she is and what she's doing here.
Your mother is placing the first dish in front of everyone and you're getting even more nervous, because before she sits your mother speaks up.
"I am sure you have all wondered who our guest this year is." She opens her hand towards Jade and there's a chorus of agreement.
"Tori, would you like to share?" At least this come out goes as planned. You scrape your throat, strengthening your voice and Jade grabs your hand for support.
"Everyone, this is Jade. And she is..." You look at her, she's smiling. She makes you so damn sure of your case. She still makes you brave, she'll probably never stop doing that. At least you hope.
"She is my girlfriend." And you can't help but smile at the sound of that. Out loud, in public. For people to hear. There are several 'ooh's, a few gasps and then everyone comes to the same conclusion.
"How nice." The loving embrace of your family and Jade's hand in yours makes you feel warm inside and as you look at Jade who's smilingly shaking your uncle's hand – "Tori's a good catch, Jade, hang on to her." – you wish Jade's family was this loving. So she would have a real place to call home, instead of your house.
You think it's absolutely awesome your anniversary falls every 31st – or 30th – of the month. Something you haven't really thought of until December was at your doorstep and your anniversary falls equal with New Year's Eve. Tonight has always been special to you, because you love firework and the chances a new year offers you. But like everything you have done the past three months, tonight is more special than ever.
As you sit on your roof terrace together, thirty minutes to midnight, you snuggle up closer to Jade. You're sitting on of the sunbathing chairs, between Jade's legs, your back leaning against her. You have never felt so much at peace before.
"I was surprised at first." Your voice is just a whisper, afraid to ruin the peace.
"How sweet you can be." You hear her smile.
"I am more than meets the eye, Vega." And that is true. Beneath that dark, strong exterior hides a sweet, loving girl. Someone who has never been loved at home, yet capable of giving so much love, it sometimes suffocates you. Sometimes it makes you feel less, afraid that you aren't capable of returning all the love you receive. But then every time, just like tonight, she'll wrap her arms tightly around you and thank you.
"For what?" You ask her every time.
"For being mine." And her answer is always the same, but it makes your heart flutter and your cheeks blush. And this time you thank her too.
"For letting me be yours." You turn around the best you can in her embrace. She leans towards the side, to face you and with the sweetest smile on your face she closes the distance to kiss you. What starts out innocently quickly turns into something passionate, only to be interrupted by yelling from downstairs, feet heavily landing on the staircase and colors brightening the sky. And all you can do is smile.
In My Life
Sunday mornings are the best, especially with a certain Goth wrapped around you. Her hands lovingly resting on your stomach, her breath soft and slow in your neck, barely there. You love waking up before she does. You love turning around in her embrace – especially when she holds you tighter once you're settled again. You love watching her wake up, how her lips slowly close at first, how her eyes open just a mere second to be quickly closed again. How she looks at you when she is fully awake and aware. How she speaks her first, huskily broken words, followed by a yawn. You love it so much; waking up without her makes you sad and grumpy. You can't believe how this all started out.
"Where do you go all the time?" She asks laughing and you don't understand, so you raise an eyebrow before you frown.
"When you wonder off, where do you go?" Her hand is traveling up and down your arm.
"Oh. To the beginning." You admit.
"Why? Was it better then?" This makes you smile, even laugh a bit. Oh no, everything is so much better now.
"Nope. I sometimes just think about how this all started." Your hand is traveling up and down her arm too now, your eyes on hers.
"How I didn't even like you like this at first. Until you told me you did and I started noticing."
"You. How you made me feel." You're so in love now. You couldn't even imagine yourself here four months ago, now you never want to leave. Now you can't imagine yourself anywhere else.
"It's weird how I never thought of you like that, now I can't seem to think about anything else." She smiles, then sweetly kisses you before she pulls you closer into a tight embrace. You spend the entire day in bed, cuddling, talking, reminiscing and wondering. And at the end of the day, your entire future is set out and taken care off. Every single detail, from the color of your bedroom walls to who cooks when.
Barely three days before your answer to the much asked 'how long?' question will be four months, you have your first fight. Not one of those arguments you occasionally have on who ate the last cookie or what show to watch – an argument that makes the least sense, since you always end up kissing instead of watching. It makes you sad to hear her yell at you, but you're yelling equally as loud.
"You're being childish, Vega."
"Am I? Well, exactly when did being concerned become childish?" She laughs, as if it's funny.
"You're not concerned, you are jealous."
"Well, Jadelyn, I remember a time when you were the jealous one. Only you never had the right to be jealous, and I have." Her eyes grow wide and you believe she is more mad at you now for using her full name than for being jealous. Concerned!
"Well, Victoria, be so kind and explain to me why you have every right to be jealous." She finishes that sentence in the voice she only uses when she repeats your words mockingly. Secretly, you have grown to like it, but not in this case. You're about to begin on a rant when you hear your father's muffled voice from behind the door.
"No sweetheart, let them figure this out for themselves." Some complaining, then disappearing footsteps and you begin your rant.
"First of all, I am not jealous, I am concerned! Secondly, I have already told you many times that I don't trust that girl. She never paid any attention to you until she heard about us. I have heard stories, Jade."
"So have I, Vega, from her side. And whatever you heard, it's not true. And I pick my own friends, whether you trust them or not."
"Fine! But you do not get to come to me when I turn out to be right." Her shoulders fall, her stance crumbles, her head cocks to the side.
"What are you saying? Are you... Are you breaking-" You won't even let her finish that sentence. You run towards her, your hands on her cheeks, the fight forgotten. It doesn't matter whether you were concerned or jealous, you need to get the thought of you breaking up with her out of Jade's mind.
"What? No! Jade, no." You vigorously shake your head.
"I would never. I love you." You finish in a whisper. She grabs your wrists, your hands still on her cheeks and she pulls you closer to graze your lips with hers. You both know it from each other, but you have never verbalized it before. Three little words you say every day to everyone and everything, but now they mean the world to both you and her.
"You love me?"
"With all my heart." She smiles.
"I love you too."
Barely three days before your answer to the much asked 'how long?' question will be four months, you sleep together for the first time.
In My Life
It's, in your opinion, the greatest gift you can give to her. You have been planning it ever since she gave you that necklace with the ring on it, which you grab whenever you think of her, so basically all the time. You have been working on it with Andre and you wanted to give it to her when the time was right, the moment special. But now it's finished you can't wait any longer and you have to keep yourself from giving away the secret every chance you get. It's been three months of hiding.
"Oh God, Andre, she gave me this!" You burst through his bedroom door, proudly showing the necklace, before you start pacing.
"It's beautiful, why you are pacing?"
"Because I don't have anything for her. Hell, I didn't even think she'd have something for me!" You say it as if it's obvious. Duh! And then all he does is laugh.
"Andre, this is not funny!" You sit down on his bed, sigh and then fall back. Ever since you entered Hollywood Arts he's been your best friend. You share practically everything with him, and so you go to him when you're nervous, confused or just in the need to talk.
"Yeah it is, Tori. I have never seen you like this, not even with that Ryder guy, it's kinda cute." You make a disapproving noise at hearing that name – what were you thinking?
"Andre, please! You need to help me!" You throw your arms up in distress. And he laughs again as he moves to lie next to you.
"You must really like her, huh? If she has this effect on you."
"Yes Andre, I do. Now are you going to help me or not?" He nods, then moves to whisper something in your ear. Your eyes light up and it's absolutely the best idea you have ever heard.
Originally, you planned on giving this when you'd celebrate your six month anniversary, but you're so psyched about it, you can't wait another month. You have it all planned out and it's perfect. Everyone knows, but her.
You're having a 'party' at your place, everyone's coming. Well, everyone you both like, so that's Beck, Andre, Robbie and Cat. It's not much, but you don't want a big audience anyway. The night is nearly coming to an end and Jade is getting grumpy, apparently she didn't think it would take this long, apparently she wanted to be alone with you. So you go to look for Andre, because all of a sudden you're getting nervous.
"I don't think I can do this." You start pacing again.
"Tori, we've been working on it for three months. You can do this and she will love it." He hugs you and grabs your hand as he starts walking towards the piano. Everyone knows what's going on, Beck quickly grabs you a chair before he winks at you. You inhale sharply as you search for her eyes. They narrow as your gazes lock. The music starts playing.
"This is not,
How I thought it would go.
How did we,
End up here, I don't know.
But I don't,
Care as long as you're here.
Did you think,
That it would all work out.
When you walked,
Up to me, without a doubt.
When you said,
How you felt that first time.
" You have to stop for a moment, and not only because there is a little musical break in the song. Her gaze is intense, has been from the moment she realized you were singing to her. For her.
"Now your voice picks me up,
And your touch makes me fly.
When your hands bring me down,
Your kiss proves you're all mine." You're supposed to sing more, but she's captivated you and you can't sing anymore. But you can see her eyes start to water and you know how she hates to cry. So you stand up, speak a quick 'I can't' to Andre – who keeps playing anyway – and you kiss Jade with all the passion you posses. You don't care all your friends are watching you as you kiss her like you've never done before. You don't even remember they're there. All you feel is Jade, all you hear is beautiful music, all you know is love.
You ushered all your friends out as soon as possible, though Beck kept pinching your cheeks, telling you how cute you actually are.
Andre kept letting you know to stop apologizing for not finishing the song, telling you how sweet that actually was.
Robbie kept whispering to you he never expected you and Jade to get together, telling you how happy he actually is.
Cat kept jumping up and down, telling you how cute you guys are, how sweet that kiss was, how happy she is.
"I am glad you got them to leave so quick." She's playing with your hair as you're laying in your bed, facing each other. She's leaning on her elbow, looking down at you.
"You wrote me a song?" She asks in awe after a little bit of silence, you merely nod. There's a lump forming in your throat and for some reason you feel like crying. You haven't cried in five months, there simply wasn't a reason. Even in the midst of winter, the sun was shining for you. But you just sang her an unfinished song and she was about to cry and the way she is looking at you know is getting the better of you. You have never known love before her.
"You were about to cry." Your own voice filled with awe this time.
"Never mention it." You both laugh. She asks you several questions about it and you proudly tell her you wrote the lyrics all by yourself. You talk all evening, stroking each others hair, carressing each others arms. At some point, right before you both fall asleep, you whisper,
"Jade, never leave me." You're not sure if you will ever find love like this again, you're not even sure if you'll recognize it.
"Never. I promise." She never makes promises, because she doesn't want people making them to her, she doesn't like them. She's never seen a promise being kept, but she promises you now and you promise her back. Because you don't want to find love like this again; you want exactly this love, hers.
In My Life
You recorded your song to her once it was finished, so you gave that to her. She listens to it too much, you think. But she absolutely loves it and it's all hers, so she'll listen to it 'whenever the hell I want, Vega.' But ten times a day, every day for two weeks now is just too much. Especially because she's practically living with you and your family and apparently she's never heard of earplugs so you have to hear it ten times a day, every day too. And it's difficult concentrating on homework when your own voice is beaming through the room.
"Jade, it's your turn to do the dishes today." Your mother yells from downstairs – she is living with you and your family, she's become part of it. Doing dishes and chores, cooking at times, even fighting with Trina for the remote-control. She barely sleeps at her own house anymore.
"Hah!" You exclaim, "Go listen your song somewhere else." She sticks her tongue out and kisses you on the cheek before she leaves for downstairs. Life with Jade has become a routine, but you don't mind, because after school and on weekends she takes you places, shows you stuff. She holds your hand and yells at whistling boys.
"Yeah, that's right, she's my girlfriend." The sound of that still makes you smile, her hand in yours still makes you brave, so sometimes you yell it too, before she gets the chance.
"I hate the zoo, Vega. We can go anywhere, but not to the zoo." She is whining, like always when you insist on going somewhere. Sometimes, you know, she is playing with you. Just to see your reaction, to see if you're willing to change plans. She smirks when you do and then she'll still take you to where you wanted to go. And sometimes she really doesn't like where you want to go, you can see it on her face. And apparently she really hates the zoo, because in five months you have never once managed to get her there.
"We have never been there and I love it. Just once. And then we'll never, ever go there again." But she won't cave and so you give in; there are more dates ahead of you. You'll get her there some day, one way or another. Before a smirk settles on your face a lightbulb seems to go on in her mind. She's shoving you in her car and fifteen minutes later you're in front of the cinema.
"You wanted the zoo? I'll give you the safari!" And that's how you find yourself in the cinema, red and blue glasses on your nose, watching The Lion King. In 3D! She seems to be enjoying it and you certainly do so yourself. You have probably seen this – and any other Disney movie for that matter – more than a hundred times. But this time, together with her, her arm protectively around you, is the best by far.
You don't know how she got here, you don't even know how you got here, all you know is that there was a phonecall to your house twenty minutes ago. She had been in accident and you had to come to the hospital right away. You called Beck – who called her mother, because you were the first to know – Cat, Andre and Robbie. And now you're all here, sitting at a bedside, a sobbing redhead wetting the sleeve of your t-shirt – "It's so unfair." None of you wanted to hear what the doctor had to say, so you left your parents, and Trina, outside. You could see how bad it is for yourself, no details needed.
"I thought... I had just you... as my emergency number..., not the... entire gang." She's having difficulty speaking, but she's not showing it, trying to make you and the others smile. See the light in the dark. But the situation is clear as day, for all of you and even for her. So you watch as she accepts the loving embraces and sorrowful words of goodbye. The pleas for a different outcome and the cries. You watch them all leave and you watch as she turns her head to you, smiling. You sit down on the bed next to her, smiling back through tears.
"Tori, never forget me." She's still smiling and her eyes are gorgeous. You take a picture in your mind, so you can look at it whenever you want, whenever you close your eyes. Leaning down to hug her, you whisper in her ears.
"Never. I promise."
Never once did you think of the possibility. You ending up with a girl, Jade West nonetheless. But you shared the best six months of your life with her, and now life is so much more empty without her.