This fic idea was born when I discovered (via wikipedia) that the current director of the TV anime version of Shin Chan is named Yuji Muto (so very close...). Then the most unholy question was asked, "What if Shin went to Duel Academia?". Shortly after this fic was born; Yu-Gi-Oh GX with the cast replaced by Shin-Chan characters. I'll likely skip most filler stories, and due to my lack of exposure to the greater Shin-Chan universe (only seen the FUNimation dub) I'm likely not to show a number of minor GX roles as well (I'll try and make sure there's someone for every major role). Let's see if I can get through all four seasons of GX.
This fic is mainly for humor purposes, don't read it if you expect something even remotely serious. Also, if you haven't watched Shin Chan (at least up to FUNimation's season 3 dub), don't read, and lament the fact you've missed half your life.
I Thought They Were Holograms!
In a city in Japan, known as Kasukabe, a little boy was walking down the street with a spring in his step. The time was a little after ten in the morning. He was supposed to be somewhere else over an hour ago but this little boy didn't value punctuality very much. Or grades, or anything related to education. He was pretty much doomed to fail every test he would ever take, including the one he should have currently been attending. Shinnosuke Nohara, or "Shin" as he friends called him was never a model student, or even a model person. Unless one valued whipping out their backside or unmentionables at every opportunity.
Today would present him many opportunities to do both, but first...
""AHHHH!" Shin fell forward, landing right on his face. "Oww." He rolled over. "Couldn't I have landed on my other cheeks?" Speaking of cheeks, something was poking his left cheek (his face cheek of course), he turned to look what was poking him. "Oh it's a baby." While dumb, Shin was perceptive. Indeed it was a baby that had made him trip up. A bright brown haired babe, dressed entirely in yellow except for a white bib.
"Hai, aii." Being a baby, the little girl had very little chance at speaking coherent words. Didn't mean she wasn't going to try.
"Sorry kid, but only babes get to touch my cheeks." He blushed and turned away. "Either ones. Heh heh."
The baby sighed, before pulling out a small sign out of nowhere before showing it to Shin. It held oddly neat writing. "Duel Spirit to good deck"
Unfortunately however, the first duellist the spirit had found was unable to read, and left with nothing more than his own disturbing imagination Shin "read" the sign. "'This baby ate it's twin. Keep it away from people.' Oh my god this baby's dangerous!"
The baby signed. It quickly became clear to her oddly high intelligence (for her age) that the boy couldn't read, and was incredibly dumb. Despite this however, the boy was the only person to be able to see her after she tripped them up, and she had been trying for weeks...
She resigned to her fate. She placed a card (which she had produced out of nowhere) into Shin's curious hand.
Shin was five. Shin was dumb. Shin had a rather disturbing imagination. He was left with only one logical option in his odd mind.
"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HHHH! The baby's become invisible and is gonna eat me!" He ran, as fast as his stubby little legs could carry him. "Mad invisible baby's gonna eat me! Mad baby gonna eat meeeeeeee!" He kept running, his dialogue regressing into nothing more than mindless screaming.
He suddenly stopped. Both his running and screaming were suddenly no more. "What card did she give me?" He glanced at it. He blinked several times. "She turned herself into a card. Wonder if I can do that? He placed it into the deck that was loaded in the disk on his arm. "Why did I bring this out with me?" He blinked, looking down at it...his mind slowly working...
Meanwhile, at the destination.
"ALL APPLICANTS STILL WAITING FOR THEIR EXAMINATIONS REPORT NOW! OR YOU WILL BE BURNED IN MY FIRES!"
Despite not having a megaphone, the head of the Obelisk blue dorm, fearfully called by students and staff alike as the 'Flamer' was capable of projecting his voice across the entire stadium he was standing in. When no screams met his words he came to the conclusion that everyone had taken their examinations. "Now I can start weeding out the weak. And build my army of homo-superior duellists!"
"Umm, sir? AHHH!"
The 'Flamer' lived up to his name as he was suddenly surrounded in a blaze, one that very few were stupid enough to go near. This student was unfortunate however, it was his job today to inform the flamer of any news that might be relevant. He just hoped he didn't have any news the flamer might deem inexcusable...
"What is it sub-human? Tell me now!"
"Sir. All the applicants have been processed. We can shut down for the day and start getting ready to move the students to the island."
The fires vanished. "Good. Even faster than last year."
"Well sir after you set fire to all the failed applicants last ye-"
"Silence! I did that to weed out the weak! Now shut-up while I inform the students we're finished for the day." He took a breath. "STUDENTS!"
Before the flamer, and the entire crowd, a little boy was running around in the now empty duelling area. "I'm so late for the duel test and I don't know where it is! I don't know were it is! I wanna go to Duel Academia!"
Now there were many, many, many things the flamer hated. All of which he found in people he called "homo-inferiors". Despite his many, many, many, many hatreds. Punctuality was among the very top of the list.
"Please sir, don't! We can tell him to lea-!"
Half a dozen students who were unfortunate to be close to the Flamer at that point were wise enough to dive away as the flamer jumped away, duel disk in hand. They all felt a great deal of pity for the young boy who was about to suffer 'elimination'.
The walking inferno landed with a blaze erupting around him. Shin jumped back. "AHHHH! Did dad fart on the oven again!?" If only that were the truth...
"You!" He pointed."Sub-human! You have been marked for!" The blaze became an inferno, becoming a pillar of circling fire that reached far above him. "Elimination!" He activated his duel disk. "Fight me! Test my powers as a Homo-Superior!"
Shin's face turned downwards, a silly open-mouthed grin on his face. "You could just say you're a superior male you know." His face turned up, a glint appearing in his eye. "Let's go!"
Shin grinned. "My turn." He drew a card from his deck. His face formed into a frown, clearly he'd drawn a very bad card. One he didn't want to draw, something perhaps, that he didn't even want in his deck. Maybe now he would surrender, or ask for a moment to properly prepare his deck, if he would be foolish enough to believe his opponent would give either. Despite the fact that his opponent was a ruthless, insane, murderous nut-job who had a habit of incinerating anyone who dared disagree with him, Shin asked a question.
"There are four stars on this card, what do they mean?"
The ground shook as hundreds of spectators crashed to the ground from the overdose of sheer stupidity. Their thoughts were unified, aside from one student who'll be introduced later; "YOU IDIOT!"
"You sub-human! Stars are a monsters level! Four or lower requires no tributes. Five to six need one tribute. And seven onwards need two! Now hurry up and make your move!"
"Yeah! I summon Bruce Bastard!" The shade wearing, stunt double and secret hero appeared, he stood in a boxing stance, even while concealing his identity Bruce would be ready for battle anytime. (Attack position. ATK/1000 DEF/500) "Now! Here's the Bastard Signal!" He held the spell above his head as Bruce Bastard was suddenly beginning his transformation into the mighty hero...if Shin could only notice the card glowing in his hand. "Action Bastard, I need you!"
Nothing happened. Bruce was still standing in his transformation pose. If he'd only been doing it for a few seconds it might have passed as a hero pose, but standing with legs parted and arms raised up for longer than five seconds while emitting a light show that was a few steps from causing a seizure made it hard to take seriously.
The glowing card in Shins hand was only getting brighter...and it finally hit him. "Oh!" He picked it up. "Come on out, Action Bastard!" Shins' hero appeared, with part of his uniform looking like he was wearing underwear on the outside of his uniform it would be reasonable for someone to find it hard to take this bastard seriously. (Attack position. ATK/2500 DEF/2000) "Turn end."
"Draw!" Flamer nodded. "Even my deck recognizes my status as a homo-superior! I'll use this deck to it's full power, even the makers of this game know I am to rule all! I summon myself, the Flamer!" In the single most uneventful summon ever, literally nothing seemed to happen. Only that the Flamer seemed to get battle status. (Attack position. ATK/0 DEF/0)
Many students over the years have wondered how the Flamer was able to get a card based on himself without being even half as rich as a certain founder of the academy with an ego bigger than his company. One student dared to research into the mystery, showing a great deal of smarts and cunning in discovering the truth. In a twist of irony, he was stupid enough to shout the story out in the middle of class right in front of the Flamer, and was stupid enough to call him "an egotistical bastard" for it. Needless to say the Flamer's wrath was quick and brutal. No one from that day ever dared mention it wherever the Flamer might have heard, but the basic story of the deck's creation was that it involved him, a card designer, and a lot of fire.
Another stupid student (to be) was also about to exercise his stupidity. "You got no attack points."
Fortunately the Flamer was waiting for Shin to say that. "Oh course not, boy! This deck tells the story of how I became the Homo-superior I am today! So I need to play another card. I activate the continuous spell card! Evolution Gas! This card is the source of my power! Every turn I can discard any number of cards. Every card I discard gives me 500 points forever, but I only gain the attack boost during my turn." He picked up two cards. "I discard two cards, that's 1000 points." (Flamer ATK/1000) "There's more, boy. The cards I discarded were Gas Canister Spell cards. When sent to the graveyard their power is released. Each gives me 1000 more attack points!" (ATK/3000) "You see? YOU SEE!? The Gas drives my evolution! I am a Homo-superior!"
"He's stronger than Action Bastard!"
"E-lim-inate! Sub-humans!" He raised a burning hand. "Be eliminated in my FIRES!" He thrust out his hand.
A geyser of flame burst from his burning hand, blasting across the arena almost in an instant.
Now there's one thing readers should know about Shin (something English dubs have only lightly touched upon), Shins love for Action Bastard, combined with his youthful mind often leads to him imagining the aforementioned Hero talking to him.
Such a time was now. The Hero held back the fire with the back of his hand as he spoke. "Shin! You can save me from destruction! Discard a card!"
"What's 'discard' mean?"
"It's means putting a card from your hand in the graveyard!"
"What's a graveyard?"
"The slot in the middle of your disk! Now slide something into it!"
"Oh." He placed a random card in his graveyard. "Done. Action Bastard Effect Activate!"
The Bastard grinned. "Bastard Defensive Bitch Slap!" The blaze was knocked away, leaving the Bastard and Shin quite alone.
Heading right for the seating area...
A new Osiris red walked down the stairs to try and find a seat. He'd passed his duel, but not the paper tests. That didn't matter to him. He was gonna be champ! The star of the academy! The bright fire that would blind all!
Destiny had a morbid sense of humor...
"Oh my god he's dead!"
"I thought they were holograms!"
Action Bastard flinched. "Oh crap I hope I don't go to court for that one." (Shin LP/3500)
"Let's get out of here!" The new students were starting to rush to the nearest exit, there was no way they were going to the academia with the Flamer! No way in hell!
Again, Destiny had a very sick sense of humor. Choice was a luxury they would not be afforded now. The Flamer was about to sweep away all hope. "Be still! Any student caught trying to leave will be eliminated! Also marked for elimination is anyone who questions my methods!"
For the second time that day, the thoughts of the students were almost unified. "We're screwed."
With their fates sealed, the students slowly returned to their seats. Most were nameless faces, not worth mentioning until the author needs a character for a filler chapter or a meat shield for a main character, but there were a few faces that were worth mentioning.
Georgie Herbet Walker Prescott the third, five year old ultra-conservative and Japanese (take a minute to let that one sink in, do those things really go together?), was dressed in Ra Yellow garb. He'd scored absolute top marks on his written tests, but for reasons known only to him he didn't take the duelling test. With students likely to end up in short supply in a few months anyway (the Flamer can be thanked for that one), the Academia policy was take anyone who passed at least one of the tests. Right now his conservative nature was dominating his thoughts.
"So much for the Obama administration. They don't even imprison psychopaths."
(Yes it is odd to have a Japanese boy blame the American president for his problems, but watch the FUNimation dub. Seriously he rails on left-wing American politics almost every episode.)
Penny Milfer, dressed in the Obelisk Blue female Uniform was shaking with rage as she watched the students retreat to her seat. She'd passed her paper tests with decent marks, but her duelling was as ruthless as her personal anger therapy. Obelisk Blue was her destined dorm. If she wasn't red-headed the Flamer might have one day made her a personal favourite, but in his opinion the "red-crowned human female" was "pathetic evolved". She'd be venting her frustrations over that one later.
"I came here to get away from assholes like this!"
Then came her relief. From out of her skirt fell a certain plushie, originating from who knows where in the original Japanese version of Shin-Chan, and an unmentionable area in the dub this fic has it's characters based on. It fell to the ground in a heap, it's cries heard only by itself.
"I'd thought she'd have left me home when she said she was going to this Academia. But instead I'm the only one she took." A flash of eyes told him all he needed to know. The child's hands reached down, forcing Happiness Bunny up against a wall. "Death, release me!"
The world seemed to shake as the first punch found it's mark, with a hundred more set to follow. Alas the bunny would never be saved, as the author has already finished casting the role of Death, and this ain't the fic he's appearing in.
Maso Sato sat frightened in a chair, wearing the Osiris red uniform. He'd barely passed his written exam, and lost a great deal of marks by screaming like a girl every time he'd been attacked directly in the duel. Needless the say the Flamer had him on the "Eliminate" list. As soon as he found another reason to do so.
"Trapped on an island with a man like him. I hope he's not too rough with me."
At last we come to the one mind who was not uniform with the rest. A mind not crafted by the rest of the crowd. Not that there was much of a mind to work with. Boo, dressed now in a Osiris Red uniform, though some would be right to wonder how he'd managed to dress himself. Sat with a blank expression on his face with his signature mucus hanging from his non-existent nose. He'd utterly failed his written test, but only one was really watching his duel test. His opponent, and they weren't saying anything about how he won.
Boo's thought would have been placed here, but he doesn't have any most of the time. This moment was among 'most of the time'.
From the very highest area in the stadium Ai Suotome, daughter to a family who's financial worth was second only to Kaiba Corp in Japan. She sat in a vibrating leather chair as her ever loyal bodyguard stood beside her. She'd neither duelled nor took the test, money could truly work wonders.
"Mr K. I want that boy. Tell Daddy to buy him for me."
"Uh, miss Ai. I don't think it works like that, not with people so young anyway. You can't buy him."
"Then tell Daddy to buy his love for me."
"Miss AI, I can't. You can't buy his love-"
"But you can buy Paintings, right?"
"Paintings, miss Ai?"
"Yes. Paintings. Like the one that hung in the bathroom. The one you urinated on when you got drunk last month and blamed on father's favourite dog, who father had put down later that day. Now I wonder what father would do if he found out this little bit of information? Cameras catch everything Mr K. So if you don't want me to tell Daddy and get you fired you're going to help me."
"I really gotta find out where she keeps her cameras." "Yes, miss Ai."
Back on the battlefield the duel was still in play.
The Flamer was about to finish. "I set two cards and end my turn sub-human!" (Flamer ATK/2000)
"My turn. Draw! Get him Action Bastard!"
Action Bastard jumped high, connecting his hands together and generating his unique power. "Action Bastard, Bastard Beam!" His hands glowed, it was time for the Flamer to die.
"I activate a Trap! Cannister Collection! I must discard my entire hand to activate it, but I have no cards. Now I can add a Gas Canister Spell card to my hand. I add the third of my Gas Canister cards! Next I play a second Trap! Inferno Shielding! When my card version is attacked, I can discard a card to negate the attack! I discard Gas Cannister!" The Flamer was covered in a shield of glass-like flame as the beam hit. For a moment the Flamer glowed with the mixture of fire and Bastard power before both faded.
Action Bastard jumped back down. "What is this guy?"
"We can get him Action Bastard. I set a card and end my turn."
"Smart move Shin."
"Well it worked for him. Maybe it can help us too."
"Yes it will Shin!"
"You sub-human trash! You can't defeat me! My turn! Draw! Remember, I discarded a Gas Canister, and my Evolution Gas gives me my attack boost back now!" (Flamer. ATK/4000) "I activate the spell card, Double Elimination! I can attack twice this turn!" Both his hands blazed. "Time to burn! Eliminate!" He thrust out both hands! "DIE!"
"SHIN! Discard both your cards, NOW!"
"Got it!" He discarded both his cards, giving Action Bastard the effect fuel he needed. "Bastard Defensive Bitch Slap!" He slapped one geyser of fire, knocking it into the second, creating an explosion that covered both him and Shin. The blaze spread far out behind them both, spreading right to the wall where it crashed like a wave. In a moment the fires faded, leaving Shin and Action Bastard weakened, but still standing. (Shin LP/500)
"Shin I need equipment if I am to win!"
"Got it Action Bastard! I activate my set quick-play spell card! Emergency Gear! I can use it when I have no cards in my hand. Now I can activate a Bastard Gear spell from my deck! I activate Slot Belt!" Action Bastard looked down as the 'A' on his belt was replaced with a small screen.
"Perfect." Though one could wonder why he'd say that. (ATK/2500)
"I'm not going to lose to you, nutjob!"
Georgie blinked. "He's nuts."
Penny stopped punching. "He's dead."
Ai swooned. "He's so brave!"
"Fine! Sub-human! Make your move, your last move, and then be eliminated in my FIRES! Turn end!" (ATK/3000)
"Oh I'll make my move alright!" He grabbed onto his deck. "DRAW!" He grinned. "Got my secret weapon! I summon Mad Killer Baby!" 'Mad Killer Baby' had a rather impressive tick mark on her head as she appeared. Her new owner really was an idiot. (Attack position. ATK/0 DEF/0) She raised up a sign which appeared out of nowhere. 'My name is Hima. Ignore the idiot.' "Attack Killer Baby! Rip the nutjob's face off!"
Hima sighed. She wasn't much of a face ripper, she was a baby. She had other ways of bringing an opponent down. She closed her eyes for a few seconds as he grinned to herself. It was time for her all powerful ability.
"Aiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii!" Hima's eyes glowed, unleashing a barrage of absolute cuteness and stars.
"What? What is this?!" Flamer trembled, this power was beyond even him. "I feel something! Something deep. No! Primal instincts, must not hurt...babies! Dammit!" He screamed, despite his self proclaimed species status his humanity still remained. It would not permit to him to be a threat to babies (yet he had no trouble burning slightly older children it would seem). (ATK/0) "No! My power!"
"Action Bastard! Attack!"
With that the fall of the Flamer began. Action Bastard raised his hands to the sky. "Slot Belt Activate!" The screen turned on, and true to it's name numbers appeared upon it. It was a slot game, but would not be won by chance or skill. "Action Bastard!" The numbers stopped. All Sevens. "Lucky Bastard Fever!" The Bastard exploded with power, radiating power in an animation sequence clearly inferior to what you can find in the average Yu-Gi-Oh episode these days. (ATK/4000) "Bastard Beam Jackpot!" Action Bastard exploded with power, releasing a gigantic golden shock-wave which illuminated the entire arena.
It took a moment for the light to fade, but once it did the audience was granted a most unique sight.
The Flamer fell back, defeated outright. "Is he too, a homo-superior..." He'd fallen unconscious before he hit the ground. Shin had won, and was still in conversation with his own imagination.
"We did it Shin. He bragged and bragged but in the end he couldn't match my stamina. Victory laughter ho!"
Both Shin and the imaginary Action Bastard took the signature pose (findable in the actual show or via a youtube search for "Action Bastard") and started to laugh.
From here it would begin. A great story about card games and evil was about to be cross-bred with a comedy cartoon that has been dubbed with adult humor to create a book with many sections missing, massive plot holes, and destined to become a parody so bad that the author will have to go into hiding from the combined mob of both the shows fan-bases (as if one of those fan bases wasn't pissed enough with him anyway).
This is the story of Shin-Chan GX.
End of Chapter
Authors notes: And that's the first chapter of a cross-over that should never have been. Public vote decides if I go forward with this. If you want me to however I'm gonna need a little help from anyone who can offer it.
There are/were other English dub of Shin-Chan, one by Vitello Productions and another by Phuuz Entertainment. Does anyone know where I can find these dubs online?I want to gather as much information on the Shin-chan universe as I can (mainly so I have a wider cast of Shin-Chan characters to work with), so any help would be most welcome.
I've already come up with a "who's who" of the cast of the rest of the book (what character a Shin-chan cast member will replace) but if you've got any ideas then feel free to make a suggestion.
For those who might be wondering about who's who in Shin's group of friends.
Maso: Sho (anyone wanna argue how this is not perfect?)
Boo: Hayato (A First year in this book, and will actually of some use to the plot hopefully.)