This is a follow on from my Daughters Of Herne Series. Laverne and Shirley have returned home (as has Kate and Allie, and Cybill and Maryann) after two years traveling with Rose, Donna and Martha (see The Eternal Joining). Things have changed for all of them, hence the title. This story is a typical Laverne and Shirley show, from early Laverne and Shirley episodes, as proven by the appearance of Rosie Greenbaum, who appeared in seasons two and three of Laverne and Shirley. Although they have lost two years, they actually returned home only a few days after they left, such is the nature of Time Travel. The usual disclaimers are given: Laverne and Shirley belongs to Garry Marshall and apologies are offered if any affront is taken.
THE BREAK ROOM - SHOTZ BREWERY
It seemed the same. The flat was the same, the inhabitants of the building was their usual selves. Mrs Babbish was the usual pressed upon person who tried to keep the building in order whilst being Laverne De Fazio's Fathers' girlfriend; Carmine Ragusa was still the big brother and the knight in shining armour who rode to Laverne and Shirley's rescue every time they had a problem; Lenny and Squiggy were still Lenny and Squiggy, warts and all; Shotz Brewery was still the same, oppressive, dank, and, quite frankly, boring. It was in the same boring break room, in the same boring Brewery, that Laverne and Shirley entered. They sat down at a table and opened their lunch boxes. Laverne took out a sandwich and looked at it.
"How long have we been back, Shirl?" Laverne asked.
Both Laverne and Shirley looked around the break room. Their minds went back to that Circus Ring; to Wickham 1203 when they first realised their heritage; to the suggestion that Aphrodite as the gipsy made when she suggested that the old Laverne and Shirley would 'die' in that ring; to meeting the other daughters, including Kate McCardle, Allie Lowell, Cybill Sheridan and Maryann Thorpe. They had shared a lot with Kate, Allie, Cybill and Maryann over two years of travelling with them in the TARDIS. They were like sisters and lovers. They even married each other in bizarre ceremonies, usually the difference between life and death at stake. Now they were back home, and both Laverne and Shirley were missing Kate, Allie, Cybill and Maryann. Rose, Donna and Martha did warn them when they left the TARDIS that this might happen. They also suggested that Kate, Allie, Cybill and Maryann would always be there when they were most needed, as would other Daughters of Herne, as was the nature of the Daughterhood. The Three Musketeers and the Daughters of Herne had the same motto 'All for One, One for All'. However, it had been two months and they hadn't seen any of them, and it was obvious that they were being missed.
"Thinking about Kate, Allie, Cybill and Maryann?" Laverne asked.
"And the TARDIS," Shirley admitted "And the adventures we had."
"You want to go back?"
Laverne looked at Shirley and saw the longing in her eyes. Aphrodite was right. They had changed. Even the arrival of Lenny and Squiggy, as they did at that moment, didn't seem to upset them as much as it used to. After all it shouldn't, they did have the powers to turn them into toads if they wanted to, and Lenny and Squiggy knew that having been turned into something lizard like on more than one occasion. They sat at the same table as Laverne and Shirley trying to gauge their mood as they did so, being lizards didn't suit them.
"How are our super heroines today?" Squiggy asked.
Lenny looked around and cringed, being turned into something green and slimy in front of the staff of Shotz Brewery would not be a good idea for anybody.
"Have you saved the world since we last saw you?" Squiggy continued.
Toad time, Lenny thought.
"No," Shirley said "Just saved a few bottles from extinction."
Lenny breathed a sigh of relief. They were in a relatively good mood. It made him feel a little more braver than normal.
"Fancy going to the Drive In tonight?" He asked.
"What's on?" Laverne asked.
"That latest 3D movie, Godzilla v the Witches of Evil," Squiggy said.
Shirley looked at both guys and wagged her finger in disapproval.
"You should be watching something with more sophistication," She said "Something like Breakfast at Tiffanys."
"Or West Side Story."
"Might be okay," Lenny said
"If I can understand what it's about," Squiggy added.
"Shakespeare's Romeo and Juilet," Shirley said "It's the musical version of that."
"Massive yawn!" Squiggy said with feeling.
Shirley shook her head in disappointment. Laverne felt a small grin come on.
"That, Squig, is why we can't go out with you," Laverne said "We're not compatible."
"Well La di da!" Squiggy said feeling a little hurt "We all can't be Carmine Ragusa, or Rose, Donna and Martha's."
Lenny closed his eyes again and thought about what Toads and Lizards eat for lunch.
"And nor should you be," Shirley said "Be yourselves."
"Just don't be yourselves with us," Laverne added.
"They no longer like us," Squiggy said to Lenny.
"Of course we do," Shirley said slightly nudging Laverne in admonishment "But, we've grown up, we've seen things that have made us grow up."
"Such as?" Lenny asked.
"Wars, brutaility, slavery," Laverne said "We've seen things that would make your toes curl, or send you running to your Mummy. We've even battled creatures in metal casing armour and won."
"Like those Day-Leks?"
"Daleks," Shirley corrected "They were tough, especially that fruit loop Davros, but we soon cleaned their clocks."
Lenny and Squiggy looked at each other. They had witnessed Laverne, Shirley, Cybill, Maryann, Kate, Allie, Rose, Donna and Martha 'cleaning the Daleks clocks'. It was the last time they came back to Milwaukee before coming back for good. The Daleks were hiding in a building in downtown Milwaukee . The TARDIS crew arrived and put them out of commission before they could properly wake up and do what they were designed to do - seek out Davros, who had crash landed nearby, and return him to the bosum of the Dalek family to lead them to more conquests. Unbeknown to them, Lenny, Squiggy and Carmine had tagged along and saw everything, even the departure of the TARDIS crew after they had safely delivered Davros to the Shadow Proclamation. It was after they had returned for good when Carmine, Lenny and Squiggy told them what they had seen and Laverne and Shirley was forced to tell them what had happened to them over two years, two days in Carmine, Lenny and Squiggy's case. They had promised to keep what they had seen secret, and Laverne and Shirley knew that they were good for their word. Nobody would have believed them anyway.
"You miss it, don't you?" Squiggy suggested.
Both Laverne and Shirley looked at each other and realised that Squiggy was right, they did miss it.
"Anyways, we're busy tonight," Laverne said.
"Doing what?" Shirley said looking at Laverne in surprise.
"You know," Laverne said giving a small wink.
Shirley smiled. They were on patrol tonight. Something else that being linked to somebody like Buffy Summers brought about. They didn't have vampires to fight but there were other type of demons, human kind, to be fought. It was their job to fight them, mainly because there wasn't anybody else to fight them.
"Make sure you don't run into those Panthers," Lenny said.
"Although, I'd love to," Squiggy said "I hear that they are foxy ladies."
Laverne and Shirley glanced at each other knowingly. That was something else that had changed, and they themselves had brought about that change. The Panthers were crime fighters who appeared out of nowhere two months ago to save the city from a power sucking demon. They were the scourge of the Milwaukee Police Department. Every arrest they made hit the front page of every newspaper and television screen in Milwaukee and Chicago. They wore tight fitting, panther like costumes, and were quickly regarded as the sexiest ladies in Milwaukee. Some even commented, Lenny and Squiggy amongst them, that there was no way that they could be wearing any underwear under those costumes, that they were completely naked. Because of their sexiness and their apparent nudity under those costumes, every man wanted to bed them, every woman wanted to be them. Some women, including Big Rosie Greenbaum, wanted to take them to bed and ravage them, much to Laverne's amusement, and Shirley's shock.
FLASHBACK - THE NIGHT BEFORE
Shirley had called Big Rosie over to pick up some goods for a charity that Rosie was involved in. She was hoping that Rosie would arrive and leave before Laverne returned with the shopping. No such luck. Laverne had returned just minutes before Rosie knocked on the door.
"Who is it?" Shirley called in the deepest voice that she could find.
Laverne stopped unpacking the groceries and glared at the door.
"Greenbaum? What's she doing here, Shirl?"
"I invited her."
"She's arranging a collection for the orphanage," Shirley said "I suggested we had some stuff we can give her to sell."
"If that's all it is."
"I promise you, Laverne, in and out."
Laverne sighed and nodded her agreement. Shirley opened the door and allowed Rosie to flounce in.
"I've got the stuff in the bedroom," Shirley told Rosie.
"Thank you, Shirley," Rosie said.
Shirley gave Laverne a warning glare and disappeared into the bedroom.
"Collecting for the orphanage now?" Laverne said.
"Yeah, De Fazio," Rosie answered "Maybe I can find something in your size."
Laverne left the kitchen area like greased lightning. Soon she and Rosie were eyeball to eyeball, staring each other out, seeing who would flinch first.
"What are you suggesting, Greenbaum?"
"That you have no style," Rosie sneered "Unlike those Panthers, they've got style, they've got grace, and those outfits they wear. Where did they get them from? They're sexy, they're form fitting, they're everything i've ever wanted. Do they even wear underwear under that costume? They can't do"
"Never known you to be a fashion icon, Greenbaum."
"Coming from a scarecrow like you, that's rich, De Fazio."
Suddenly both Laverne and Rosie were squaring up for a fight. Shirley almost flew in from the bedroom in between them to separate them, and surprised Rosie, but necessarily Laverne, by throwing both of them to either side of the room.
"Where did you get that from, Shirley?" Rosie asked.
"From seeing the two of you trying to knock each others heads off," Shirley said "Can't you ever be friends?"
"Hell will have to freeze over first," Laverne answered.
"Ditto," Rosie countered.
"Then agree to disagree," Shirley said.
"I can do that."
"So can I," Rosie said "You still have no style, De Fazio. You don't have what it takes to be a Panther."
Shirley looked at Laverne quizzically.
"Big Rosie likes the outfits they wear," Laverne explained "She thinks they're sexy."
"As are the bodies inside of them," Rosie said "I'm a woman, but even I wouldn't mind taking them to bed."
Shirley's eyes widened in shock. Then she tried to stop herself giggling.
"Really, Rosie?" She said "Never saw you as somebody who loves women."
"Normally, no," Rosie admitted "But, I'd boff those two in a second. I'd rip those costumes off and ravish them until they became my slaves."
Now Laverne was forcing herself to turn around in an attempt to prevent anybody, especially Rosie, seeing her laughing.
"I think you need a cold shower, Rosie," Shirley said.
"Probably," Rosie said "Those two are probably out of my league anyway, and if they're out of my league, they're way out of the two of yours."
Laverne's hackles rose again. Shirley got in front of her.
"You could be right, Rosie," Shirley said.
"Shirl!" Laverne protested.
"Calm down, Laverne."
Laverne rested her head on Shirley's shoulder. She could feel Laverne started to laugh again.
"Got to go," Rosie said "Is this the stuff?"
Rosie picked up the bag that Shirley had dropped whilst trying to stop the fight and flounced out of the apartment. Shirley followed her to shut the door. Then they burst out laughing.
"She wants to boff the Panthers," Laverne said.
"She wants to rip those costumes right off and ravish them until they became her slaves!"
"If only she knew," Shirley smiled.
"I feel like telling her, just to see the look on her face," Laverne said.
"You dare!" Shirley warned.
THE BREAK ROOM
Lenny's voice broke them from their daydream.
"Yes, Lenny," Laverne said.
"Where are you going?"
"Just around," Laverne answered.
"You're looking for those Panthers, aren't you?" Squiggy said.
"Who'd want to look for them?" Shirley said.
"We would," Lenny and Squiggy said together.
"I didn't think you would," Squiggy continued "Are you those ladies who wouldn't mind taking the Panthers to bed?"
Shirley whistled. The whole room were suddenly looking at them causing them to smile sheepishly at them and wait until they returned to what they were doing.
"Can we get off this trip down smut lane?" Shirley said in a quiet voice.
The other three nodded their agreement.
"If you want to know," Shirley continued "We've got dates with some sophisticated men."
"A Doctor and a Lawyer," Laverne added.
"So you wont be beating up spiky green aliens from Mars," Lenny said.
Laverne glanced at Shirley. Ice Warriors did look spiky in that battle armour they wore.
"We're staying well clear of Martians," Laverne said "Might frighten our dates."
KNAPP STREET - THAT EVENING
The Panther costumes were on, and Laverne and Shirley were ready to go on patrol. With the costumes on both Laverne and Shirley felt alive, they felt confident, they felt they could save the world and still got home in time for their mythical dates. They didn't need dates, they had each other, and, if they wanted, they had Kate, Allie, Cybill, and Maryann.
"Fancy surprising Big Rosie?" Laverne said.
"You promised you wouldn't do that."
"Shall we save Milwaukee from itself?" Shirley said.
They both orbed out.