Long Summary: "It's a parody of A Midsummer Night's Dream that makes it look like a very bad dream. Dracule Mihawk is forced to marry Crocodile, or else Crocodile will lose his job as the mayor of Lougetown. But, Crocodile is in man-love with Donquixote Doflamingo, the star of a childrens' puppet show. So, what do Mihawk, Crocodile, and Doflamingo do? They sneak off to Las Vegas in true Hangover fashion so Crocodile can marry Doflamingo. But, things get VERY complicated when a gender-bending art thief genderbends the best man (Shanks), Doflamingo finds himself as the slave to a so-called empress, and Mihawk and Crocodile are sent to find them. Factor in the Phantom of the Opera, tigers, a lost baby, two Kenan and Kel impersonators, Ferraris, Monty Python references, and the city of Las Vegas, and you have the best Vegas trip since The Hangover!"
Author's Note: Long story short, Crocodile and Mihawk are forced into marriage. But, Crocodile and Doflamingo are in love. So, Crocodile, Doflamingo, Shanks, and Mihawk go to Vegas so Crocodile and Doflamingo can secretly marry. But, Shanks gets turned into a girl by an art thief and Doflamingo gets kidnapped by Hancock. So, Mihawk, fem!Shanks, and Crocodile must find the art thief and Doflamingo before the wedding.
Warnings: Genderbending, yaoi undertones, Crocodile x Doflamingo, and crack.
Disclaimer: Eichiiro Oda owns One Piece.
It all began one beautiful, pretty, pretty beautiful, uke sparkly day in the city of Lougetown, California. But, things weren't so uke sparkly for pro golfer and swordsman Dracule Mihawk.
"Well, excuse me, princess! I did not approve of this marriage!" Mihawk yelled to his teenaged roommate (read: moocher), Perona.
"I did. And, now, because of this giant sex scandal Crocodile made, YOU have to marry him so he can, as Dr. Hogback put it, 'stay in line with his women, men, and sea anemones'," Perona explained. Mihawk's eyes widen.
"Sea anemones? What?" Mihawk asked Perona.
"Yeah... It's best if you don't ask about the sea anemones," Perona explained. Mihawk facepalmed.
"Oh, God. I'm getting married to a man-whore with a tentacle porn obsession," Mihawk muttered to himself.
"Horo horo horo horo horo," Perona laughed to herself. Meanwhile, with Crocodile, things weren't going so well. Because of his sex scandal, he holed up in his mansion with all of the curtains drawn and all of the blinds closed. Crocodile only wore a monogrammed robe, he only ate ice cream, and all he did was sleep and watch T.V. over the past few days.
"Up next on Tenryuubito T.V. - Victoria's Secret Security Camera Footage!"
"The fuck? I just watched security camera footage from Hooters," Crocodile asked himself before he changed the channel.
"Because we find ourselves in the same old mess singing drunken lullabies!"
Crocodile changed the channel.
"You're gonna love my nuts."
Crocodile changed the channel, again.
"Excalibur! Excalibur! From the United Kingdom, i'm looking for him! I'm going to California!"
Crocodile changed the channel, AGAIN.
"My ROTFLcopter goes 'soi soi soi soi soi soi soi soi'."
Crocodile changed the channel, once again.
Crocodile changed the channel, yet again. This time, he changed it to his favorite show, Donquixote Doflamingo's Puppet Hour.
"Remember, kids, don't have sex. You will get pregnant and die." (1)
Crocodile continued to watch the show. Fortunately, he and Doflamingo were in man-love with each other, and watching Doflamingo's show made Crocodile's troubles disappear.
"I'm in man-love with you, Donquixote Doflamingo!" Crocodile shouted in ecstasy. The next day, Doflamingo, Mihawk, and Crocodile gathered at the local Starbucks - I mean, Raftelbucks.
"You want us to get married ALREADY?" Doflamingo asked Crocodile.
"Yes, Doflamingo. It's more of a wedding of convenience, since I do not want to get married to Mihawk," Crocodile explained.
"Same here," Mihawk said.
"But, won't Perona and everyone else find out about this?" Doflamingo asked Crocodile.
"We'll do a secret ceremony, just like in all of today's romantic comedies!" Mihawk anwsered. Crocodile snapped his fingers.
"That's it!" Crocodile said before getting out his phone and dialing a number. "Paula? Yes, cancel all of my appointments, press conferences, luncheons, charity auctions, autograph signings, dinner parties, golf tournaments, and private booty-calls scheduled for Friday, Saturday, and Sunday."
On Friday afternoon, Mihawk, Doflamingo, and Crocodile were crusing the streets of Lougetown in Mihawk's Prius.
"Mihawk, where are we going? We're supposed to arrive at seven, and you're wasting time!" Crocodile asked Mihawk.
"Patience, Bridezilla, I'm just going to go pick up the best man, and then we will be on our way," Mihawk explained. Doflamingo sighed.
"If you're going to drive all the way to Long Beach, I might as well get out of the car right now," Doflamingo threatened shortly before Mihawk pulled up to Enies Lobby High School, where the students were going home for the weekend. Mihawk got out of the car.
"I'll be back in a couple of minutes. Don't touch anything and don't drive off without us," Mihawk instructed before going into the school. A minute later, Mihawk arrived at the geography classroom of Red-Haired Shanks.
"Hey, Mihawk, what's up?" Shanks asked Mihawk.
"Did you pack your bags for a weekend trip?" Mihawk asked Shanks.
"Yes, I did," Shanks anwsered as he picked up his duffel bag.
"Excellent," Mihawk said with a nod of his head.
"Mihawk, where are we going and why?" Shanks asked Mihawk, who grinned.
"We're going to Las Vegas for a Vegas wedding," Mihawk anwsered.
Ending Note: Cheer up, Shanks, it gets a lot worse.
(1) - Here was the stuff Crocodile was watching in order of appearance
1. Victoria's Secret Security Camera Footage
2. A Flogging Molly concert
3. The Slap Chop commercial
4. Soul Eater
5. Microsoft Sam's ROTFLcopter meme
6. Adventure Time
7. Doflamingo's show.
Review if you want to see the chapters in Vegas begin!