A/N: Okay, so if y'all have read my sister, Yamiyokai's fanfics of the seven deadly sins and couldn't find Gluttony, THIS IS WHY. She hates Repulsive Food Eater Conchita, so I took charge of said fic.
THIS WARNING IS CRUCIAL IF YOU HAVE PROBLEMS WITH BLOOD, GORE, CANNIBALISM, HAVE A WEAK STOMACH, OR FAINT AT EVEN THE THOUGHT OF BLOOD. This fanfic is full of blood, gore, and cannibalism along with disgusting ideals and other things that many people will find disturbing. If you cannot handle any of the things listed above, you should change the page NOW.
Other warnings include slight crude language, and alcohol IMPERSONATION. You will see.
Vanika Conchita/MEIKO - America/Alfred F. Jones
Cook/KAITO - Britain/UK/England/Arthur Kirkland
Servant 1/Len Kagamine - South Italy/Romano/Lovino Vargas
Servant 2/Rin Kagamine - North Italy/Italy/Veneziano/Feliciano Vargas
I own nothing except for the way this fic is written. Like the style I wrote it, not the plot or anything.
THIS IS YOUR LAST WARNING. THE FIC STARTS NOW.
Repulsive Food Eater, Alfred
Once, in a kingdom far away, there was a king, who, though very attractive, repulsed the entirety of his land.
His name was King Alfred F. Jones.
This young royal, to be blunt, loved food. He used to go after the most delicious, exquisite food the world could possibly offer him. After a while though, he became bored and wanted something…
"'New'? What does that exactly mean, Your Highness?" One of his servants, Feliciano, asked, knelt down in front of his king.
"Oh come on, we've been busting our asses to get you all this shit from foreign kingdoms and everything, what the hell could you want?" His brother, Lovino, yelled, standing up. He was then hugged by Feliciano, who chuckled nervously.
"He doesn't mean it, Your Highness! He meant um, what exactly did you have in mind?"
A smirk spread halfway across the king's face, piquing the brothers' curiosity. "There's this one cook I want brought to me…"
Feliciano and Lovino arrived at the home of the cook their king had sent them to, in a country that wasn't exactly easy to get to because of the ocean, but they wondered if it was the right place because of the smell of burning bread. They shrugged at each other and knocked on the door anyways.
The burnt scent, along with some other grotesque smell, hit the servants hard and caused them to gag as the door opened, and a blond man waved smoke out of their face and looked down at them. "Can I help you?" He asked.
Feliciano nodded. "Are you Arthur Kirkland?" He inquired, soon receiving a nod before he handed a piece of paper to him. "Our king in the country across the ocean has requested that you come work for him as his cook." He explained.
As soon as he was notified of this, Arthur's face lit up. "I'd be honored! Let me just finish my scones!" When the door closed, the brothers swallowed hard and paled, feeling their stomachs churn.
The next day, Arthur began work, and although Feliciano and Lovino constantly made trips to the bathroom to get sick from the smell, King Alfred willingly sat at his dining table and took in the scent like it was strawberry, smiling.
Once his breakfast was ready, the cook brought the platters out in ways only a cartoon character could have pulled off as the twin servants called out the food that was written on the menus.
"Scorched Kimchi with an over-ripe tomato sauce…" Feliciano said in disgust.
"Wurst cooked almost to perfection in chilled Zurek…" Lovino forced out, trying not to make it sound like a question.
"Waffle batter in a dark cheese fondue…"
"And maple syrup over white rice and pickled plums..?"
"How is this food?" They demanded of their King's new cook.
"Well His Highness seems to like it just fine!" He retorted, indicating the fact that half of the grotesque dishes had already been consumed by the royal. The twins stepped back and paled once more before turning and running for the nearest plumbing. The cook frowned, his large eyebrows curving up towards each other, clearly expressing his discouragement. This was quickly changed, however, when he was embraced by the king he now served. "Y-Your Highness!"
"You're my favorite cook so far!" Was the response he received, a smile following close behind. "I expect lunch in a few hours!"
And so, the lunch menu was as follows:
"Vodka poured over a hot 'unidentified berry' danish."
"Swedish meatballs with a special blue sauce requested by the king, on top of Pad Thai."
"Koenigsberger Klopse in Pot-au-feu."
"And Paella served with Pirozhki and scones. All very well done (whether they can be or not)."
Months passed until Arthur had almost been working for King Alfred for a year. One day after lunch had been served, he approached the king and knelt before him, hanging his head in respect. "Your Highness, would it be alright for me to take a leave for a few days?"
Alfred looked at him like he was insane. "What, why?" He demanded, gripping the arms of his chair.
With a shocked expression on his face, Arthur swallowed hard. "Well, I… I haven't had a day off since I began working for you… I was hoping I could just take a few. Don't you have someone else who can cook for you while I'm gone, Your Highness?"
The king huffed and crossed his arms, shrinking back into his chair. "No, they were all so useless!" He whined. He then sighed anyways and nodded. "Alright…One week, though."
Arthur nodded. "Thank you, Your Highness." He said before leaving the room.
Once the cook was out of the room, Alfred leaned on his arms after placing them, folded, on one of his chair's and rested his chin on them, pouting much like a child. "Such useless people…"
The next day, once again after lunch, when Arthur went to leave, Feliciano and Lovino grabbed his arms to stop him, and he looked at them confused. "What's the matter? His Highness gave me time off."
The twin servants ignored this and began leading him upstairs against his protests, chanting something in low voices. Fear showed clearly in his eyes only when he was finally able to hear what they were saying.
"Bow down and show your reverence to our Great King Alfred."
"Everyone who betrays him will pay a heavy price."
Arthur swallowed hard, hoping he could beg his way out of this. He had no idea what his punishment would be, or what it was for, but he knew he didn't want to find out. Since there really were only three people besides the King himself since Arthur had started working for him, the cook hadn't seen or heard what a punishment was like from King Alfred.
The door to the king's room was thrown open, and Arthur was pushed to his knees by the two servants that had dragged him there. "Feli, Lovi, go on." Alfred said. His servants knelt and hung their heads, smirking as they left the room. Arthur looked up at his king and shook a little at the stare he interpreted as anger. He was then confused when Alfred's tone wasn't harsh. "Arthur, you can stand up. You're leaving already?"
Cautiously, the cook stood up, but hung his head in respect still. "Well… yes, Your Highness. You had eaten well at lunch, and I was sure Feliciano and Lovino could handle dinner and your midnight snack. I apologize, would you like me to stay a little longer, Your Highness?"
The king got up from his bed and walked over to Arthur, lifting his chin with his hand. "Just a little." He replied. He then surprised Arthur by biting the cook's lip and licking the blood that welled in the cut, and all-TOO-familiar look in his eyes. Not realizing what was going on, Arthur's face turned red.
Arthur's shirt hit the floor, and a scream accompanied the sound of tearing flesh. The cook's back hit the wall, and he looked at his torn shoulder in fear before putting pressure on it and giving his king the same look when he saw blood dripping from they royal's mouth as he swallowed. "Y…Your…Highness..?"
Alfred approached him once again, nonchalantly as if he'd done nothing wrong, and took one of Arthur's hands, licking his fingers with a smirk on his face before biting one of them off, ignoring or just not hearing Arthur's scream as he swallowed the appendage almost whole.
Arthur managed to concoct a plan after 3 fingers were gone, and pushing Alfred away from him, he ran out of the room. He nearly ran right out of the mansion, but was hit with a though when he heard laughing. He looked at the twin servants that were still here, seeming unaware of what was going on with the king, and went over to them quickly. They still seemed so young, it was cruel to even think of leaving them here. "Feliciano, Lovino!" He exclaimed as he approached them. They tried to stop laughing at what they had been talking about and looked at him, still smiling innocently. "We've got to get out of here, the king's gone mad!"
Lovino was the first to, but they both chuckled before laughing as innocently as they had been before. Arthur was confused until the boys gave him looks of deceit and grabbed him by the arms again, holding him still as Alfred came down the stairs looking furious. "Bow down and show your reverence to our Great King Alfred. Everyone who betrays him will pay a heavy price." The servants said in unison.
Alfred grabbed the shaking, begging Arthur, and blood spattered all over the room as the sounds of screaming, tearing flesh, and snapping bones echoed off of the walls, accompanying grotesque chewing. All the while, the only thing Feliciano and Lovino did were bring spices, small food, or sauces to the gruesome scenery should their king ask for it.
That night, dinner was made by Feliciano and served by Lovino. "Veneziano has prepared a nice appetizer for you tonight, King Alfred." He said in the nicest voice he could muster, which still sounded rather grumpy. He removed the lid from the tray to reveal what looked like pasta. "Britannian Angel Hair pasta," He chuckled. "served with a thick, fresh red wine in your favorite wine glass."
Alfred finished this quickly with a smile on hi face, then looked to Lovino. "So what else is for dinner, Lovino?" He inquired.
The servant looked at the menu and blinked after looking through all the pages. "Veneziano, all but one of them say 'due to certain circumstances, it cannot be shown'. What's that supposed to mean?" Lovino yelled towards the kitchen. He grumbled when he didn't get an answer and uncovered the one he could read out. "Olive oil-soaked tomatoes, and due to certain circumstances, the rest cannot be shown on the menu."
The rest were uncovered, but whatever they were, leaking red, could not be identified by even the servant who served this grotesque-loving king. Not caring, Alfred scarfed it all down without a second thought. When the king was done, Lovino hung is head in respect and went to leave, but Alfred grabbed his tie and pulled him back, putting a hand on the side of his face. "My little servant," He said, licking Lovino's lips slowly. "what do you taste like?"
Lovino gulped and trembled a little. He stuttered, but it only came out in a scream as his arm was bitten into. Alfred grabbed one of the knives on the table and cut the limb off messily, blood staining the tablecloth as Lovino's now detached arm hit it, and he screamed in agony as his king chewed on the newly made wound. "VENEZIANO!" He cried. The twin he sobbed for, however, stood in the doorway, trembling with tears streaking down his cheeks, but he also had a sick, twisted smirk with those saddened eyes, and a butcher knife in his hand.
"Sorry, Lovino." Slipped out of his lips, and before the twin that was in agony could no longer move, he stared at him with a look that was angry, but also sad. He couldn't believe what his brother was doing to him. The remainder of his fingers on his still attached arm curled before they went limp, and Lovino's head hit the floor.
It was finally time for King Alfred's midnight snack, and after Feliciano served the food that could, once again, not be shown on the menu, the servant went around the mansion and cleaned up the blood that had trailed and splattered. Alfred, however, hadn't moved from the table and was tapping his fingers on the glass in his hand when Feliciano came back. The servant, still covered in blood from the cleanup, walked over to his king and knelt, hanging his head in respect. "Is there something I can get you, Your Highness?" He asked.
"I'm still not satisfied… What else do we have in the kitchen?" Was the answer he received.
Feliciano blinked and looked toward the kitchen. "Ve~ I actually need to go get more ingredients…"
Alfred's finger tapping stopped, and when Feliciano looked up to see why, he was stared down. The king stood up and pulled his servant to his feet. "No. I think you'll do just fine."
"Ve?" Feliciano shook his head and tears rolled down his cheeks as he smiled nervously. "No, Your Highness, you don't want to eat me…" The servant ranted on about reasons Alfred wouldn't want to eat him, but the king's eyes had already locked on the blood Feliciano's arm. The boy trembled as the man he served ran his tongue along his arm, and his desperate ranting turned to begging as he fell to his knees. This did him no good as Alfred began to violently chew on his neck, and his sobs became chokes and grotesque gagging noises as blood spewed out of his neck and flowed from his mouth. Even after he was dead, his blood dripped on his forehead from Alfred's mouth, and what wasn't consumed stained the floor.
Days passed since Alfred's last meal. There was nothing left, and there was nobody there. King Alfred F. Jones groaned at the sound of his stomach growling, and wished he could find something to eat.
One day after he had gotten dressed, he stared at himself in the mirror for a while longer as he thought about what he would do about his growling stomach. "I still haven't found exactly what I want, either…" He sighed, placing his right hand on the mirror.
That's when it hit him.
He blinked, staring at his hand on the mirror with a look a normal person would never give their own hand. "There's something I haven't eaten…" He smiled, bringing his hand to his mouth from the mirror. His teeth sunk into his own skin, and it was almost as if he couldn't feel pain as his blood dripped from his mouth. Without a scream, without a complaint, King Alfred F. Jones' own blood stained the carpet in his room as he ate himself until he was no longer able to do so.
The body that consumed things no normal human could…
Was the very body to know how it tasted.
A/N: I will be horrifically honest with you all. I had fun with this. I did. Call me sick or twisted or crazy, but that's the kind of writer I am. I like to write the creepy and awkward. So… Yeah.
Okay, explanation time: Certain foods were in italics because they represent a different character in Hetalia. (Ex: Zurek = Poland) And you can probably guess why BRITANNIAN ANGEL Hair pasta was italicized. YES, FANGIRLS, ALFRED ATE EVERYONE. (My poor Switzerland…)
I am very sorry for how violent and grotesque I made it, that's just how I wanted it. But I gave you a warning. No complaints. ALSO. I am sorry that Alfred was OOC. I mean REALLY OOC. But it was kinda hard to have a grotesque food-eating king eating his cook and servants violently while saying "dude" and "for reals". So yeah…
ANYWAYS. So. I hope y'all liked that, and you should like, totally go read Yamiyokai's other sin stories. If you don't like gross, violent stuff like this, then:
1: WHY ARE YOU LISTENING TO VOCALOID?
And 2: You should like, totally read Yamiyokai's. She doesn't like to write that stuff.
So Read and Review, please~