Note: I do not own Friday Night Lights or Bite My Tongue by You Me At Six
You keep me on the edge of my seat
I bite my tongue so you don't hear me
I wanna hate every part of you in me
I can't hate the ones who made me
At least we won, I thought to myself. I didn't get much play time; I knew I wouldn't get much time to play after my week of missing practice. I'm such a dumbass. Nevertheless I still just wanted to go home and rest, which probably wouldn't happen. I walked out of the locker room after changing and rubbed my eyes with one hand as I threw my duffle over my shoulder. Aubrey met me there.
"You got some good hits," she tried, her expression a sympathetic one.
I nodded. "Thanks I guess."
She hugged me and I wrapped my arms around her. "Gonna go home?"
I nodded again. "I should."
She picked her head up to look at me and my eyes met hers. "Want me to come?"
I shook my head. "I don't want you to have to watch," I mumbled. I kissed her forehead before she let go gently and rubbed my arm.
"Text me if you can, I guess then."
"I will," I assured, leaning down and giving her a soft kiss.
Aubrey returned it and gave a half smile. "I'll see you later."
I showed a faint smile and watched as she scratched her head and ran her hand through her hair; she watched as people walked to their cars around us. Most times I don't think she knew how effortlessly beautiful she was being, just in her actions and getting caught up in her own thoughts. I knew she wasn't doing it on purpose, who would? I liked watching her do things, her body language, and the expressions she made when she was thinking. She was so interesting to me. It may sound really creepy but I didn't care. I always watched her when she didn't know it.
She caught me watching her and smirked up at me. "What?"
I shook my head a bit. "Nothing."
"Be careful." She changed the subject, pointing at me. Aubrey knew the worst was coming; she didn't want me getting hurt but there was no stopping it. "See you soon." She touched my arm and slowly let it trace down to my hand as she turned to walk away. I watched her for a moment until I lost her in the crowd that merged around her, then walked to my car reluctantly with the thought of 'home,' my mind's set destination.
I parked in the driveway and grabbed my duffle bag that sat in the passenger seat before getting out and locking it behind me. My dad's car was parked next to mine and I swallowed back the lump that formed in my throat. Anxiousness mixed with nervousness was the worst feeling I thought I'd ever felt. I opened the door, not caring if he heard me come in or not, and shut it gently behind me. From the corner of my eye I saw his figure enter the living room as I headed for my room.
"Where do you think you're goin'?" he asked in a low tone, the southern lilt in his voice standing out more than ever.
I didn't answer him but stopped where I was and put my bag on the floor, keeping my eyes away from his and I ran my hand through my hair.
"Where the fuck have you been?" he asked with his voice raised.
I wiped my face then turned to look at him, standing straighter.
He made his way over to me and I noticed the beer in his hand.
I looked him over and swallowed back my nervousness. His white tank top had a few stains on it; his boxers were familiar and looked like they'd been worn for god knows how many days.
"Thought I'd finally gotten rid of ya, should've just stayed where you were."
To my surprise all he did was finish off his beer then walked past me to the kitchen. He took another beer out of the fridge and cracked it open, gulping half of it down before walking over to me again.
"Sorry to disappoint," I muttered.
"Wouldn't be the first time," he let out with a low laugh.
I sighed and shook my head, looking down for a second before looking up. "Just go back to bed with your," I gestured toward his room and my voice got a little louder, "—your fuckin' tramp like you always do."
He gave a small nod and I could almost hear the wheels turning in his head as he looked down at the carpet while he thought. He looked up at me and our eyes met. "So you're gonna tell me that I fucked up when you're the one who missed practice for a week?"
I rolled my eyes. "Just go back to your beer and cigarettes you bastard."
Without warning he shoved me, causing beer to spill all over my shirt. "Think you can talk to me like that, huh?" He shoved me again and the beer can dropped to the floor.
I looked down at my shirt and held my ground in case he decided to shove me anymore. "You don't scare me." I clenched my jaw as well as my fist. As much as I wanted to deny it, and as much as I did, there was still a part of me that feared him more than anyone else. I just didn't want that to get to me, not now.
He let out another laugh and wiped his nose. He got closer to me and wagged his finger in my face. "You miss practice like that again… you can say goodbye to your car, your cell phone, 'n your pretty little girlfriend."
I kept my jaw clenched and it took everything in me to keep from saying anything and to keep from doing anything. I hated him so much. I just wanted this year to end so I could get out of his hell hole.
"It aint like she'll stick around much longer anyway."
I wrinkled my eyebrows and I could feel my temperature rise. "Longer than the whores you bring home."
"More action than you get," he retorted. "Send 'er my way if she aint satisfied."
I shoved him back suddenly, having no control over what my arms did, like a reflex. "Fuck you."
He looked at me, a shocked expression on his face like I'd never done such a thing before. He might have been too drunk to remember all the times I'd defended myself. "You little shit." A second later I felt his fist connect with my jaw and I sank to the floor, landing on my side. Sitting up a bit, I wiped my mouth and saw the blood on my hand. His foot kicked my side soon after and I grunted in pain. I was already sore from practice and the game, and I'd probably have a bruise that would form there soon.
I sat and tried to steady my breathing before looking up and watching him stubble away. "No wonder mom left you," I let out angrily, holding my side from the pain.
He stopped for a minute and turned his head as if he were about to look at me. Must have been too much work for him to acknowledge what I'd said, because all he did was shake his head gently then disappear down the hall, leading to the other side of the house.
I got up slowly and winced. I didn't realize how hard he had kicked. It felt like he'd broken something, but I doubted it. Either he was getting old or he was slowly starting to not care. I thought he'd beat me worse for sure. I knew a good bruise on my face and ribs was me getting off easy.
I made my way into the bathroom and cleaned up my face then took a look at my side. It wasn't too bad, but I already saw a bruise forming, and I knew Aubrey would insist on seeing it, and make a big deal out of it, and worry more than she should. I was a big boy. I could take care of myself. It was nice having someone who would worry about me though. It was better than having no one who worried about you. At least, it made me feel like someone cared about me, and I knew she did.
I pulled my phone out of my pocket and pulled up a 'New Text Message' addressed to her. "I'm fine. He didn't do much damage," I wrote. I walked to my room and threw my phone onto my bed, changing into basketball shorts and throwing my beer soaked t-shirt into the hamper in the corner. A second later I fell onto my bed and I heard my phone buzz.
"How bad is it?" Aubrey texted back.
"A few bruises." I set it on the nightstand next to me and got comfortable while I waited for her to reply. I closed my eyes for a moment and sighed with relief, knowing the weekend would bring better things. Hopefully. I needed to do homework, so I'd probably end up over at Aubrey's so we would get it done together. Either that or I'd blow it off and try and convince her to go to a party with me. I hadn't partied in a while; I knew she didn't like it. Sometimes I just wanted to say 'fuck it' and do it anyway, despite what she thought. I just didn't want trouble between us, and I knew it meant a lot to her. I knew she was right when she said it wasn't good for me.
My phone buzzed again and I opened it. A small face with a frown showed on the screen and I gave a small smile. "I'll be okay. You need to sleep, and I'll call you tomorrow."
My eyes started to get heavy and I heard it buzz for what I hoped to be the last time. "Sweet dreams."
"Goodnight, sweetheart." Turning my phone on silent I set it back on my nightstand and found myself drifting into sleep not much later.
To be honest, I thought his dad would've beaten the crap out of him when he got home last Friday night. Luckily, that didn't happen. I always worried about him. Always. I could tell it bothered him sometimes. He thought he was all big and tough but I knew he wasn't as tough as he thought he was. He needed me sometimes too. I saw the big bruise on his side and face, as well as the cut Charlie's ring gave him on his jaw. I guessed everyone at school knew about his dad, and it wasn't much of a surprise for everyone on the team. It was a small town; everyone knew Don had missed practice last week. Rumors were spreading about him and I like wildfire. Rumors spread like that in general. Some thought he was sticking around to get into my pants. Others thought our relationship was strictly physical. They could think all they wanted, we knew what our relationship was and that's all that mattered. But that doesn't mean it wouldn't get to me sometimes.
So, he finally convinced me to go to a party with him; one of those huge house parties that always seemed to happen on a Saturday night, with underage drinking, drugs, and loud music. I'm surprised no one ever complained, and surprised the police hadn't caught on.
Looking into the mirror I buttoned up my dark skinny jeans and pulled on my favorite 'Led Zeppelin' t-shirt. I left my hair down in auburn waves and touched up my eyeliner, putting on a little more than usual. Faded blue Vans seemed to tie everything together. I wouldn't bring my bag, just my phone in case I needed it. I slipped it into my pocket and sighed softly, looking myself over. Ready.
I made my way out to the living room where I said goodbye to my dad who was sat on the couch. He gave me the same 'be careful' and 'call if you need me' speech and I was on my way. I looked up after closing the door behind me and smiled when I saw Don leaned against his black Chevy.
"Miss me?" he asked with a grin when I reached him.
"Loads," I replied, returning his grin.
He let out a low humming sound as our lips connected and kept his eyes closed for a moment after gently pulling away. "Let's go." He opened the cab door for me and I climbed inside, putting on my seatbelt as he walked around to the driver's side.
Once inside he buckled his seatbelt and pulled away from the curb smoothly. "Planning on drinking, I'm guessing."
"Just a couple." His voice was reassuring but I didn't buy it. He glanced at me, knowing I didn't believe him. "If I can't drive, we can sleep in the truck, I have blankets in the back."
"…You could use a drink." Don chuckled and I gave a faint smile, watching the road in front of me. He was right, I needed to relax. I think it might be selfish of me to keep him from drinking and having a good time anyway… I think. Did he really need alcohol to have a good time with me?
"I'll have a few," I agreed.
Don nodded and I could see him smile out of the corner of my eye.
I chewed on my lip, seeing the house and hearing the music as we parked. We each got out and met on the sidewalk, holding hands as we walked up to the house.
Don greeted his friends with a friendly grin and I smiled politely while he gave them high fives as we passed by. We made our way into the house and into the kitchen. He made my drink and then his; I watched as he turned to me and held out the red solo cup he clutched in his hand. "Loosen up a little, babe." I could barely make out his words over the music, but watched his lips, able to read what he was saying. I smirked and took the drink, looking around at everyone as I gulped down the awful taste.
He threw back his drink and it wasn't long before he made another for himself. I was on my first one, before I knew it he was on his third.
We made our way around the house and found a couple people to play beer pong with in the back yard. Just like the night we first met. Don won this time, all I did was watch. "Game over, bitches!" he threw his hands up in success. Soon they'll be giving him trophies.
After about my second drink I started to loosen up a little. There was a space in the middle of the house where the music was the loudest, where everyone seemed to be collected to dance. Pulling Don away from the game he just won, I grabbed his arm and dragged him inside, making my way to the middle of the crowd and pulling him close to me. I wrapped my arms around his neck and I felt his hands on my hips while I moved them. He watched me as I moved and I felt his hands roam. His eyes moved to my lips and his hands reached down to my backside, where he used his grip to push my body up against his. I closed my eyes and leaned my head back, still swaying with the music as he did. Don's lips moved to my neck and I felt him suck on my skin. I kept my eyes closed as we swayed to the music and laced my fingers through his hair. I opened my eyes a moment later and saw the crowd around me, dancing as we did. What am I doing? I thought. His lips stayed on my neck and moved to my jaw as he got closer to my lips. Our lips connected and moved against one another's. I felt it get more heated, and felt his hand move to my lower stomach and slowly reach down to the front of my pants.
I wrinkled my eyebrows and gasped through the kiss, pulling away simultaneously. I felt his hand move away and I looked up at him confused.
"What?" he asked with a sly smile, squeezing my ass again as he pulled me close to him.
"No," I let out, pushing him back.
He put his hands up and furrowed his brow as I pushed him away. "What?" he asked again; this time he seemed more confused than I was.
I shook my head and pushed my way through the crowd, making my way for the door. So this is what he wanted. I walked across the grass and made it onto the sidewalk before I heard him call after me. "Aubrey! Hey!"
I felt his hand on my shoulder and turned to look at him. "What?" A hint of irritation could be heard in my voice and he could tell.
"Baby, look, I'm sorry." His voice was apologetic and I could tell he knew he'd crossed a line.
"Did you really think that if you got me a little drunk I'd just give in and sleep with you? Is that what you were trying to do?"
"What?" Don looked confused. "I wanted you to have a good time."
"Well then your definition of a good time is clearly different from mine," I retorted, my voice slightly raised.
He rolled his eyes. "What is your problem?"
"My problem?" I asked with a slight laugh, getting angrier. "What's yours?"
"I'm sorry, okay? Jesus."
"Sorry I'm not like every other girl around here," I muttered angrily. He didn't sound sorry, even though he might have meant it.
"It's not exactly easy for me when you're such a prude," he spat back.
I shook my head a bit and glanced away. "Well," I started, "If you don't fucking like it then go find someone else." I wanted to keep my virginity for someone special; obviously he didn't feel the same way.
He rolled his eyes and rested his hands on his hips.
Before turning to walk away I looked at him again. "I'm sure if you ran into Ann, she'd be more than willing to put out for you again."
I heard him sigh and he watched me as I turned and started down the sidewalk, passing under the light from a street lamp above me. "Aubrey," he called after me, quickening his step to get to me.
I didn't stop walking, but I felt him walking next to me as I kept my eyes on the ground in front of me.
"I didn't mean what I said. I'm not thinking straight," he tried.
I tried not to listen to him. I wanted to think that he was just like every other guy his age, but he wasn't, and I knew it.
"Listen to me for a second?" his voice was gentle and I could tell he had that puppy dog look on his face.
I sighed and stopped, turning to look at the expression I had pictured.
Don looked down at me, his eyes seemed heavy. He ran a hand through his hair before speaking. "I didn't mean to cross the line… and I'm sorry if I made you feel uncomfortable."
I scratched my head and kept my eyes on his, nodding after he spoke. "I just didn't want it to happen then. Not there."
"I just got caught up in the moment. I'm sorry."
I inhaled then exhaled softly and slowly. "Can I ask you something?"
"Do you really need to be drunk to have fun with me?"
Don shook his head. "Not at all. I just thought this might be fun… and to be honest, I've never gone with anyone before. So this is a first for me."
I gave a faint smile and glanced away at the empty street next to us. "It was kind of fun I guess."
"You never know until you try."
I nodded and chewed on my lip before taking his hand and walking back toward his truck. "There's no way either of us are driving home tonight."
"Tired?" he asked, lacing our fingers together as we held hands.
"The back seat isn't too bad."
We stopped next to his truck and I let out a sigh. "So how do we do this?"
"You could lie on top of me, or… I could take the front seat and you could take the back."
I shrugged. "Either way."
"Take the back, then."
"You sure?" I asked, opening the cab door and looking back at him.
Don nodded. "You'll be more comfortable."
I smiled and kissed him softly before climbing into the truck.
Don smacked my ass as I climbed in. "Anything for you, sugar buns." He laughed and climbed in after me.
"Oh no," I laughed, "Don't ever call me that again."
"Okay, Aubbie." I could tell he had a grin on his face and I smirked.
"I'd watch it if I were you," I threatened.
"Ooh, I'm scared."