"What are you waiting for, Deano?" He could still hear the man's voice in his head, haunting him, taunting him. "Make his day, go show him what absolute trust looks like."
All whispered into his ear, Sammy watching closely from nearby, and he could still feel the fires that had burned his cheeks as Gabriel had said filthy things too low for the younger Winchester to hear.
He checked the time on the bedside alarm clock.
A few more minutes. Just a few and then he could get Gabe's words out of his head, dispel them like he was fighting alcohol or drugs.
He twirled the 3-strand nylon rope between his shaky fingers.
Yeah. Soon enough, right?
"How good you'll look to him all tied up and docile, a side of you you've never shown him before…"
He brought the rope to his lips and shuddered at the braided strands touched his overheated skin. Could he even do this?
He wasn't used to giving up control, he was, admittedly, a control freak… A little bit of one, okay? Things just didn't go well when he let things take their course. People died or suffered or… Or, well, shit like his father happened.
He heard the front door click open and a few seconds later, Cas was walking into the bedroom, undoing his tie and pushing his trench coat off his shoulders. His eyes were shut in this ritual of shedding off his business persona and by the time he opened them, his shirt was undone and he was barefoot, everything else missing.
He settled on Dean and his crystal blue eyes widened just the slightest bit. "Dean…" he began, and there was a hint of apprehension in his voice, "what are you doing with that rope?" He looked up and then back down.
Dean frowned and then scowled. "I'm not gonna kill myself! Geez, Cas, why the hell would I do that?"
Cas edged his way into the room without answering, pulling his dress shirt off with practiced ease. Beneath was a soft tan tee that matched his coat and just reminded Dean how pale he was.
"What would you have me think, Dean? You look like something terrible is to happen, holding a noose."
"It's not a noose –" okay, it looked like a noose. When had he tied the loop in it? Damn nerves! "I wasn't going to hang myself!"
Cas looked at him long and hard before nodding. "Alright, Dean, I believe you. Please, do not worry me like that again?"
He made it a question because anyone who knew Dean knew better than to tell him to do something. More than half the time, he was bound to get defensive about it.
He gritted his teeth and nodded. "Okay."
Cas took off his pants. That left him in his white boxers and tee.
Dean licked his lips and squirmed.
"Dean," Cas addressed without even looking at his lover, "is something the matter?"
"What? Why would you think that? Does something have to be the matter? What the fuck's with you today, acting like I'm up to no good!" Okay, now that just sounded suspicious.
Good going, Dean. You win dipshit of the year award. Make your family proud, little man.
Cas turned to him slowly. "Are you up to no good, Dean?"
He swallowed thickly. "I don't know, am I?"
"You would be the one to know."
"I'm not so sure about that, Cas, you seem to know me better than I do," Dean growled.
"Fine then. Let us assume that I do know you better than you know yourself." He came to Dean's side and slipped the rope from his sweaty hands. "Does this have anything to do with our brothers?"
Aw, shit, Cas just might actually know him better than he knew himself.
"No!" Cas gave him the long cool stare of one that sensed a liar. "Not directly… I mean, there were a few words, er, exchanged, but… Y'know what? Fuck this shit!" He reached up, grabbed Cas by the collar of his tee, and pulled him down over him on the bed, falling back so that Cas slid his thigh between his legs, right up against him, and that felt so fucking good.
He slammed their lips together, so very hungry, and let his tongue out to play, nipping at Cas's bottom lip for entrance. When it was granted, there was a war for where to have their battleground and then, finally, there was simply war. A long, wet, passionate war and drool dribbled from the corner of Dean's lips as Cas rested in the cradle of his hips, lazily thrusting against him in the way Dean had taught him.
Dean had taught him how to please him, Dean had taught him how to kiss, how to fuck, how to make him moan like a little bitch in bed.
But Cas had taught Dean how to make love and that was monumental for the guy who had attachment issues.
Cas set the rope down beside them and Dean snatched it up, turning his head so he could speak. It took him awhile to get that far, though. First he had to remember how to breathe.
"I- Cas, I want you to – please." He held the rope between them and Cas looked from it to him. His eyes went wide with understanding.
"Dean, are you asking me to…"
He licked his lips. "Yeah."
"No. Dean, no. Your free will is what attracts me. You do not expect me to tie you down, do you?"
"Yeah, I do." He ran his free hand up and down Cas's arm, rolling his hips up into Cas's erection. "I want you to, Cas. I want…" His eyes glazed over. "I want to give it to you… Something I'm not even sure I have – I want to give it to you."
"What is it?"
"My… My submission. It's a one-time thing, Cas, take it or leave it. Don't make me wait, you got that?" It hurt to breathe.
'Please say yes, Cas. Don't leave me waiting, damn it!' He stared hard at his lover.
"I can not, Dean, not to you. I would never ask you to submit to me, not like this, what we have is good enough."
"I don't want it to be good enough, I want it to be so fucking fantastic that we'll never walk away from this bed. We'll fuck each other blind and deaf and we'll still want more, that's what I want!" He wrapped his legs around Cas's waist. "Do it, Cas. I want to… to trust you."
"You already trust me."
"I want to trust you with me, Cas."
He looked from him to the rope and then he sealed his blue eyes tightly shut. For a moment, Dean thought he had completely lost his lover.
Then Cas opened his eyes again and they were feral-y, reminding Dean of the look in Gabe's eyes when he had looked over at Sam, all love and heat and lust.
Birds of a feather, these brothers. Dean should have known.
But of course Cas would fight his nature more than Gabe, he'd been in love with his church his entire life before Dean showed up and rocked his world.
Dean could still remember the first time they met. When he had entered that abandoned church outside of town. He had been drinking, pissed at the world, and he had been throwing gasoline around. "Don't mind me, God. Just making this place look better."
He wasn't sure if anyone actually knew the entirety of that story. They knew that Dean and Cas had met in a church and that something Dean had said or done (or maybe he had just bee so fucking hot) had shaken the older man's beliefs.
They wouldn't know that Dean had been too drunk to think his plan through carefully. He had held his lighter in hand, standing in the middle of the church he had about to set aflame, covered in his spilled alcoholic drink.
Yeah, not the smartest idea. But he'd been about to do it.
And then Cas was there, dressed all properly in his Sunday best, fresh from Service a few miles back, and he had hit Dean so hard, the Winchester's teeth had rattled in his gums.
Of course, that had been before he had realized that Dean had about to set the place on fire. At first, he had just thought he was going to smoke in the house of God.
Imagine his shock when it had turned out otherwise. Dean could vaguely remember his own anger when he realized that the dude wasn't even pissed at him trying to commit arson, much less accidental suicide.
That was how that story of romance had begun, in a rundown church between a believer and a nonbeliever.
That was how it kind of still was. Between a believer and a nonbeliever, that was. There was no ramshackle church nearby for them to yell at each other in.
Now Dean was shaking Cas's beliefs again, rattling his foundations, making him question what was right or wrong once more.
God would not approve of this, he was most likely thinking. God would not want me to make a slave of my lover.
Dean could almost hear his thoughts, could practically see them through his eyes. A tremor racked Cas and travelled through Dean. The Winchester pressed the rope more insistently into Cas's one hand.
"Do it, baby. It's not a sin if we both want it."
"I do not want this, Dean."
"Yeah, you do. I can see it, Cas, you want this." Damn, why was that a turn on? He rolled his hips and felt Cas's iron erection between them. "You want it, Cas, you want it as much as I do, you've got to. Make me want it, make me…" He had to bite his tongue hard before he could continue with that train of thought, "make me beg." That was such a dirty word coming from him.
Begging just wasn't his thing. Like being tied down.
Cas stared at him for a very long time, seeing his uncertainty and want, brain warring with body and heart.
He let his hand rove beneath Dean's shirt, tweaking his nipple, and he pinched a little harder than usual. Dean at first grimaced and then shivered, relaxing into the pain. Cas leaned down and bit the hardening bud through Dean's tee, breaking the skin, and Dean cursed beneath his breath.
"If you do not enjoy something I do, tell me."
"H-How? I mean like, shit, aren't there s-safe words for this?"
Cas thought it over, even as he undid Dean's jeans and slid them down his muscled thighs. "God."
"In God, we are safe. Even now, in this, God shall be our savior."
"Great. God. Peachy." Except it would work. Ever since getting together with Cas, Dean had learned to not "blasphemy" in bed.
If he said God, neither of them would think it a slip of the tongue.
Cas undid the rope from its loop and gave Dean a critical look, so many fantasies flying through those clear blue eyes, and Dean nearly jizzed his boxers right then.
"In God, we shall be saved." And then Cas descended over him, raw power and unstoppable love.
It took Dean a moment or two, even longer, but then he gave in.
The ropes were cutting into his wrists the more he tugged at them. The more he pulled, the tighter they got. The more he writhed and squirmed and unraveled beneath Cas's dark attention, the harder it became to feel his hands. Except that was the last thing on his mind.
He was thinking of Cas and his creativity, how this sexy part of him had remained a secret to Dean. Damn, he had never had to teach him a thing, had he?
Cas was riding him, hard, hard enough that Dean could feel him at the back of his throat. And he wasn't the only thing bottoming out in him, no, never, not when Dean had given himself to Cas like this.
He was stretched too wide, feeling far too full, and the resulting burn was going to kill him. And he would love every second of his French-like death. He'd revel in it and beg for more, hell, he was begging for more.
"C-Cas… fuck, Cas-s-s… Plea-ease, please, please, shit, more…" And his nails dug into his palms. His teeth shredded his bottom lip and Cas leaned forward to lick away the blood with kittenish touches.
"I can not, Dean…" He pushed his face into the junction of Dean's shoulder and neck, breathing hard. Sweat glistened on his pale skin and Dean looked ten times worse than him. "Any more and I will… Nn… hurt you."
"Can't, baby, can't hurt me, all yours, please!"
Cas made a sound partway between a whine and a snarl in the back of his throat. He ripped the hastily procured dildo from Dean's ass, the one Dean would use whenever Cas was away on a business trip or he was making a kinky video for Cas to take with him (mind you, it was a seven inches long and four freaking inches around, nothing to take lightly), and threw it across the room.
Then he took his cock out and that was when it really got interesting.
He tangled his hand in Dean's short hair and pulled him up as far as his binds would let him, bending him at a nearly painful angle so that his lips were pressed to the head of Cas's slick gland. "Suck, Dean." His deep, gravelly voice ran down Dean's spine like nails.
He couldn't stop himself from obeying, didn't even want to.
He wrapped his mouth around Cas and suckled like a babe at the teat. His tongue lolled around him and he whimpered around him, feeling Cas squeeze too tightly at his erection, up and down and up and down and – shit, that was driving him insane!
"Get me off, Dean. I will not please you until you… swallow my seed."
Dirty talk, thy name is Castiel.
"I want to… cum in that filthy mouth of yours, I want you to taste of my need and stain those red lips white with my very essence." He fucked Dean's mouth, snapping his hips back and forth, and Dean choked on him. His words, his movements, his fucking handjob, it was making him feel strange, in a way he had never felt before.
Weak, for one. But it didn't feel like being weak for the first time ever. It was like Gabe had said.
He was just giving up his control for the moment. He'd get it back, he knew Cas would give it back. As long as he didn't have it, though… he might as well let Cas have control over him, right? He better give the older man what he wanted, give it willingly, because Dean needed this as much as he did.
"And until that happens, I will not pleasure you. No matter how many wanton sounds you make or how much you plead me, you will not orgasm till I have."
Oh, fuck, but he wanted to cum so damn much!
His green eyes were glassy with bliss, a little teary because Cas was beating the back of his throat with his dick and that was making his gag reflex unhappy. Yet there was no shame, no discomfort.
He felt so fucking good. And he should have known he would, this was Cas after all, his Cas, and Cas made everything okay. Better than okay in this case.
He wasn't sure how he was going to go on after this. This would forever be stuck in his mind, dirty thoughts resulting, and he'd never be able to function in society again. It would be fucking impossible!
It was official. Cas would have to keep him tied down to the bed and fuck him raw every morning and night. He wouldn't be much good for anything else. Dean could already feel that coming on.
Cas came long and hard down his throat, salty and bitter, and he felt it slide down his esophagus in the most wonderful way ever…
Cas went limp over him, gasping softly. "Dean… Oh, Dean, that was… That was beautiful." He had been watching him the entire time. "I love you, Dean, I do…"
He gave his lover a final lick, from base to tip, and then let him fall out of his mouth.
He wanted to make a few demands of his own, like, make Cas finish him off, but his mouth seemed to know his role better than his mind did.
"Please, Cas, please…" He bucked his hips pointedly, rock hard cock surging into Cas's tight grip. "C'mon, Cas."
His lover stared at him for a very long time, eyes at first widening and then narrowing, like it was just now occurring to him the power he had over the older Winchester.
His tongue rolled slowly over his top then bottom lip, hand relaxing the slightest bit and rubbing him thoroughly. "I will give you what you want, Dean." He stroked his tongue over Dean's cheek. "Always."
The look in his eyes wasn't evil, Dean thought to himself. It was beastly. Predatory, possessive, consuming.
It was focused on him.
"I plan to, Dean. I plan to make you want it."
"I already do, baby, I want it."
"Not enough." He slipped off of Dean and the look he casted over his shoulder at him made Dean struggle futilely at his bonds. "Not nearly enough, but you will."
Oh, fuck, and he believed him too.
He couldn't breathe. Just… couldn't. Wasn't possible.
Castiel's arm moved back and forth, other hand on Dean's waist, and he was thrusting against his inner thigh.
His lover was officially the devil. Had to be.
Dean had never taught him this before. Hell, he hadn't even known that Cas had ever heard of this before.
But Cas was there, inside of him… Fist against his prostate and he was filling Dean to the fucking brim. He was going to break, he had to break or else he'd die. Life wasn't an option, couldn't be, not when it felt so fucking great.
He tried to tell Cas that, wanted nothing more than to beg for more, praise his lover, do something, but he couldn't.
The gag made him more nervous than the fisting did. But it was Cas's dress shirt and he had been considerate enough to cast the sleeve over Dean's nose so all Dean could smell, all he could taste, was Cas. That was good, that was better than using a towel or some rubbery shit, in Dean's opinion. He was safe with Cas, honestly, he was.
Cas was staring at him between his legs, eyes wide with wonder, and he was panting. "Dean… Oh, Dean, you have no idea how beautiful this is. Your body… Amazing. It just can not get enough of me, it is pulling me right in." He looked up at Dean with so much love and awe and humility that Dean felt like he hadn't lost anything. Much less his control. How could he feel powerless when Cas was gazing at him like that?
"This is love," he whispered almost brokenly. "This trust you are showing me… My hand is inside of you and you only want more of me. This should not please us as much as it does, Dean. This should be painful and humiliating, but… You look so ethereal, open to me and bending humbly to my will." He pressed a soft kiss to Dean's forehead. "I have been blessed with you."
An actual tear rolled down his cheek, like being allowed to fist someone else's ass was the most amazing thing one could do to prove themselves to their lover.
Dean wouldn't know. This was the first time he had ever let anyone do something like this. So maybe it was?
"Let me have more, Dean, I am intoxicated by you. Give me more, your everything." He looked Dean over a few times, like he was searching for what else there was to take, and he never stopped moving.
Dean was so close to the edge, he was seeing white. His breath whistled through his nostrils and he clenched his fists and toes.
Cas withdrew his hand, rested his wet hand on Dean's other hip, and shoved his cock in with one forceful thrust.
That shouldn't have felt as good as it did. Dean was so stretched out, so strung out, he wasn't even sure how he felt Cas's entrance. His ass felt wet and slippery, nearly prickly with numbness. But the moment Cas's head pressed against his hole – forget his even entering – Dean was gone.
He screamed around his gag, face red and eyes rolling into the back of his head.
To the day he died, he would deny ever passing out.
He must have been out for at most a minute. When he came to, the bonds were gone and Cas was dragging a damp warm rag over his body, cleaning him up.
He groaned weakly and lifted his hips with effort when Cas rubbed between his legs. "Cas…?" he drowsed.
"Yes, Dean?" There was complete adoration in the older man's voice.
There was dumfounded silence before Cas chuckled huskily. "I second that… That was intense, was it not?"
"We will have to do it again, someday."
Cas put his lips to Dean's ear and nipped his lobe. "Next time, however… No gag. I want to hear you scream."
And you know what? Dean was okay with that.
Alright, that was an understatement.
The idea of it made him hard all over again.
Dean was driving the Impala home from jail. And he was honest to God pouting.
Cas was in the passenger seat, not so much pouting as he was eyeballing Dean.
"I wanted to kick his ass," he finally admitted after minutes of tense silence. His hands tightened on the steering wheel and he glared out the windshield.
"I know you did. I am sorry you missed your opportunity."
"No you're not. Don't lie to me, Cas!"
"You are right." He nodded. "I am happy that you were not arrested for assault and battery."
"I'm not! Damn, Cas, you saw the pictures! What he did to Sammy… How he used me against him." He glared at the road.
Cas waited till they arrived at a stop light before wrapping a hand around Dean's nape and pulling him across the arm rest. He slanted his lips over the older Winchester's and forced his tongue down Dean's throat.
When he pulled away, Dean looked at him with glazed eyes.
"You must forgive yourself. Sam has."
Dean's pleased expression turned to a scowl. "I can't, Cas. It happened right under my nose!"
"Then I will make you forgive yourself." Cas licked Dean's jaw line. "I will hold you down and I will mute you, so you can not fight a word I say, and then I will… fuck you raw as I tell you just how amazing you are and how little blame you should have for yourself."
Dean might have shaken a little as he continued the drive home.
Cas waited till they were home before speaking again. "Besides, had that been our wedding… I would have made you pay for getting arrested on our day of holy matrimony." They both stepped out of the car.
Dean snorted and rolled his eyes.
Castiel glared at him. "No, Dean, I am serious. I would have made you pay."
He gulped. Alright, he sounded serious. "I would never do something like that on our wedding day." He hoped to Cas's God that no one would try him on that.
"Good." Cas wrapped an arm around his waist and pulled him close. "I would not want you to face chastity on your wedding night, not with all the things I have planned for you."
Dean flushed red. "What things?" Cas was walking away, leaving him behind. "Wait, Cas, what things?"
Then he froze.
Wait, when had they considered marriage?
The strangest part was that that wasn't as scary as it should have been.
Dean followed after his lover with a grin. "I wouldn't want to ruin your plans."
Cas threw a grin back at him. "No, you would not." He stretched out a hand and Dean took it without hesitation. "I love you, Dean."
He swallowed thickly. "Love ya too, Cas."
"I know you do."
Author's Note: tmmdeathwishraven suggested a side chapter depicting Dean and Cas and what Gabriel had said.
I like how it went!