"Have…have you ever…..dreamed of someone?"
"Well I have dreamed of this one girl, you might know her too."
"Oh, well that's not what I meant-"
"She has the most gorgeous stormy grey eyes, hair that feels like silk, but looks like fire, but she is so pure of heart, that if you don't tell her the positives in life she might just give them to you instead. Yeah I have been dreaming about a girl but I hope that this girl doesn't mind."
"This girl is more than happy that you're dreaming about her. But that's not what I was asking exactly."
"No, I know exactly what you're asking, but I want you to be ok with you if I can…..try these dreams out to see if they are better in real life. But what I want to know is why are you calling those dreams nightmares?"
When her eyes got bigger I knew that she did consider something so normal a nightmare. Don't get me wrong I am ecstatic that she would have dreams about me…well I hope they are good dreams anyway, but I don't understand why she would cry because she is dreaming of me.
It took until Rukia bate the shit out of me to realize Orihime's feelings for me, but I had no idea what I thought of her. Before the whole thing with Aizen I considered her as a friend only, no doubts about it. The moment she was abducted, something enraged awoken in me, I don't know for sure what it was, still don't. It could have been my hollow, but I seriously doubt it. All I knew is that I needed to get her back home, back to me. It was a different type of need than the need to save Rukia from getting executed.
It was when I was killed by Uliquiorra, that I knew there was something deeper than friendship that I wanted with Orihime. I can't leave her all alone; she needs someone to protect her. Maybe, just maybe I could save up some money, wait till high school is over then…
"Umm, it's not like that, you see…"
"Are…are you afraid of me?" I asked this a little too nervously for my liking.
"No, never, why would I ever be afraid of you I lo- I mean I would never be afraid of you as long as I live. I trust you won't ever do something to harm me."
She just had to say that didn't she…..hold on, what was she going to say?
"Then why do you call fantasies about me nightmares?"
"How do you know I am not having nightmares of Hueco Mundo a lot? You don't know what I went through, what I had to do."
"I have the jest of what you went through…..but that happened two years ago, it might always stay with us in our memories but from what I have seen in your behavior you have been healing your heart's wounds…..quicker….than….mine."
That shocks her as I close my eyes. I am not lying; I will probably never forgive myself for what I had made Uryuu and Orihime, hell everyone go through. To see me as a monster, to this day I am amazed they even stay within grabbing distance of me. Her frightened look is scarred into my brain, every day I fear it might come out and take over my body, and every night I am thankful she does not reject me.
I open my eyes when I feel her hand caress my cheek.
"I am sorry for what I said. I should have never have said that, I knew you were still suffering from the war and I still said such harsh words. Please forgive me."
"Orihime you don't need to say you're sorry, I will always be here for you no matter what."
I closed the distance between us and gave her a slow lingering kiss. Somewhere in my mind I knew why she called her fantasies nightmares. I think she thought I loved Rukia, which I do, but only as my midget sister. Orihime is the only one I could truly love like this.
Soon the need for air became too great and I had to break the kiss.
"You know….I had tried…..to…..do that…..before and I didn't…..have the guts… to actually kiss you?"
This is news to me because I don't recall a single time she came within 3 centimeters of me.
As if my face gave way to what I was saying she explained.
"You probably don't remember it because you were asleep when I tried…the day I was kidnapped, Uliquiorra said I can say goodbye to one person, and one person only."
She told me and the rest of this when it was over….."Yeah I heard this you said goodbye to Tatsuki."
As I was saying that she was shaking her head. "Ichigo, I must say sorry to you for lying but that isn't who I went to see goodbye to."
When she said that, somewhere deep inside I knew she had come to say goodbye to me.
"Uliquiorra gave a bracelet that was to hide my presence from everyone and allowed me to act as a ghost. I was given until midnight to say my final goodbyes. I thought long and hard on who wanted to say bye to. I wanted to see you the most though so I did. I was so close to kissing you, but I stopped myself because of two reasons: it wouldn't be right to kiss someone you don't know would have the same feelings as you, and I didn't want to steal your first kiss, if it was, if you wouldn't be conscious to experience it. I am so sorry for lying to you."
She started crying again, but this time I felt happy, in a sick twisted way. I knew everything would be ok. I hugged her and we waited out the thunderstorm.