The Kirk-Spock Paradigm

SCENE ONE: Penny's (and Leonard's) apartment. We can see that, in addition to Penny's usual clutter, a little shelf space has been surrendered to Leonard's favorite toys and memorabilia. His computer desk also now sits where her dining table and chairs used to be. Otherwise, the apartment is much the same. PENNY is in the kitchen, preparing breakfast.

PENNY: (calling toward the bedroom) Honey, aren't you up? I'm making you a special breakfast. (two Toaster Streudels pop up in the toaster) And it's ready now!

LEONARD: (calling from offstage) Hang on! (there's a flush; a moment later, he enters in his bathrobe, checking his watch with a grin) 8:20! That felt good.

PENNY: Oh, honey, did you eat too much last night?

LEONARD: Oh, no, it's just that Sheldon always uses the bathroom at 8:20, so…I could never use the bathroom at 8:20… Never mind. (crosses to the kitchen counter)

PENNY: I totally get it. After living with his rules for so long, any bit of rebellion probably feels great. Like when I first moved out of my parents' house, I ate pizza for breakfast, ice cream for supper, and had at it every night with a different… (changing the subject, she gives him a plate with a streudel on it) Breakfast is ready!

LEONARD: Aw, and you made hearts with the icing, thank you!

PENNY: You're welcome! (kiss, then she instinctively takes her plate to the back of the apartment, but halts when she remembers the computer desk there)

LEONARD: You know, if I move the computer to one side, there could be enough room to make it a dining table too.

PENNY: No, that's okay, let's just eat at the coffee table. I mean, we did it all the time at your place.


(as PENNY goes to sit at the coffee table, she picks up some of the clutter from the sofa and just tosses it to the floor to make room to sit; LEONARD picks up the clutter on his side tentatively, trying to find a reasonable place to put it)

PENNY: What's wrong?

LEONARD: Nothing. (he instead drapes the clothes over the back of the sofa and just pushes everything else against the arm to make room to sit) This is nice. By now, Sheldon would've handed me a bowl of oatmeal and would be spending ten minutes lecturing me on the word of the day.

PENNY: Word of the day?

LEONARD: He would tell me a word, give me every definition and conjugation, the etymology and history of usage…I would have to use it in a sentence sometime during the day.

PENNY: Really? What was it yesterday?

LEONARD: "Elucidate".


LEONARD: "Elucidate". It means to make clear, or explain. (chuckles) See, the word "elucidate" requires "elucidation". (PENNY stares blankly) I better get dressed for work.

PENNY: Okay, honey.

(cut to Sheldon's apartment; there's some empty shelf space and the obvious absence of Leonard's computer desk; otherwise, things are the same; SHELDON is in the kitchen, preparing the oatmeal)

SHELDON: Alright, let's see here…standard preparation calls for one and one-fourth cup of water, so half would be five-eighths cup. (looks at the markings on the measuring cup) No five-eighths mark? I knew I shouldn't have relied on Leonard to purchase a reliable measuring cup. (reaches down into the cupboard on the island and brings up a beaker) I guess this will have to do. But it's in milliliters…

(cut to the same location, though a few minutes later; LEONARD knocks then enters the apartment to find SHELDON busy with conversion formulas at a whiteboard)

LEONARD: Are you ready to go? What are you doing?

SHELDON: (without turning his head) I'm making oatmeal.

LEONARD: (looks with confusion between Sheldon, his board, and the kitchen) Looks like I got out of here just in time…

(cut to theme segment)