Part 4: This Is Not Funny

It takes a couple of hours but between Madeline, Fiona, Sam and Michael, Madeline's kitchen was restored to its original state more or less, nothing a couple of days of drying out wouldn't fix.

Sam goes with Michael and Fiona to the Café Carlito to cash in on his meal ticket.


Several hours later Michael gets another phone call from his mother telling him to, "Get over here now!"

"Michael!" His mother Madeline hollers in a panic as he bursts through the door with his gun drawn. He scans the room quickly and finding no immediate threat, drops the gun to his side and pulls off his sunglasses in one fluid motion. "Ma, what's wrong?" He asks in all seriousness.

She sputters, "There, there! Look!" She says as she grabs him by the hand and drags him into the kitchen. She pushes him against the sink and jabs the air with the broom in her hand as she points into the adjacent wash room.

"Ma I don't see any –" His eyes squint in concentration before relaxing and widening in surprise.

"Is that the –" he starts to question leaning forward to get a better look, "–it is," he confirms surprised and slightly amused.

"Well aren't you going to do something about it? Michael, there is an alligator in my house!" She pokes him in the shoulder. He glances between her anticipating look and the invader currently creeping from the pile of wet towels towards the puddle of water in the corner.

He eases the handgun out of the small of his back and cocks the gun.

"Do not shoot any holes in my floor Michael!" Madeline places her hands on her son's hands and makes him lower his weapon.

"Fine," he states and plasters a smile on his face and slides pass his mother out the kitchen back into the dining room. He turns his back on her as he tries to think of his next move but the next thing he knows there's a brushing sound and his mother's yell of, "Get out of my washroom!"

The sound snapping of wood has him sprinting to his mother's side and him pulling her out of the kitchen and out of the reach of the animal's power jaws.

"Ma! Ma stop!" He cries, trying to stop her desperate swings with what was left of her broom.

"He broke my broom!" She complains loudly holding the splinted piece of wood in her hands.

"Ma, please wait outside," he pleads, pushing her out the front door. He gives her a reassuring smile as she tries to say something but he shuts the door before she has the chance.

Once she's safely outside he lets his smile slide from his face as he wonders how to proceed. He eventually calls Fiona and then Sam.


"This is not funny Sam," Michael growls at Sam's laughter as he comes through the front door.

"Oh, Mikey," Sam doesn't try to hide his amusement at his friends predicament but gives him a hand by flipping over the dining room table and trapping the gator in the kitchen.

"Where's Fiona?" Sam questions.

"She's out of tranquilizer rounds. They're not that easy to find. It's taking her a while."

Michael leaps from the counter over the table turned on its side and lands in a roll in the dining room beside Sam. Sam gives him a hand and he straightens up.

He motions for Sam to follow him. They carefully open the back door leading from the backyard to the kitchen. They peer into the house. The sound of quick movement and powerful jaws snapping has them falling back and running for the backyard gate. A thud is heard and felt against the wooden gate and they dig their heels in and push back with their backs against the gate.

"Time for a new game plan," Michael suggests. Sam nods in agreement.

After several minutes of pushing against the gate and the gator not relenting, Michael and Sam give in.

Michael offers, "I say we call Wild Life Game and Rescue."

"I agree."


And that was the end of it. The gator got relocated. Madeline's kitchen dried out after a few days. And the Charger's leather seats got a makeover. And finally Michael got in his morning run in, that night.


The End.


Author's Note: A special thank you goes out to the simply wonderful Daisy Day who was a tremendous help with this last part. Thank you! Thanks for reading! :)