AN: omg hay guis hwo remmebers mee
Hahaha I kid, I kid. It's been over a year since I've written One Piece fic, huh? MAN I FEEL HELLA RUSTY, LET'S SEE WHAT KINDA CRAP I HAVE JUST WRITTEN.
(Also if anyone seriously remembers me I will love you forever because I made some friends during my time here and aaa I've only kept in touch with one of them since then.)
"I can't believe you agreed to this." It was something close to disapprovement, but not quite. Nevertheless, Nami shook her head and sighed. Maybe it was disapprovement, then. "You could be doing something so much more productive!"
Robin smiled that ever patient smile and simply turned another page, a pen and a stack of clean sheets of paper at the ready. "I do have several books that await repair, but perhaps I've lost sense of my priorities."
"I'd say you definitely have."
"Rooobiiiiin," Luffy's childlike whine filtered through the door of the girls' cabin. "Are you done yeeeeet?"
"Not quite," Robin called back. "Just four more pages."
"Which will probably take another couple hours to look over," Nami muttered. She peered over Robin's shoulder. "Look at that! It's all just meaningless scribbles!"
A finger traced over a jagged green line. "This is a dinosaur, I believe."
"Did he write a story or draw a comic book?"
"See! Even you can't tell!"
Nami threw a shoe at the door. "Go away! She'll give it back to you when she's done! Go bother Usopp or something!"
After a nonsensical game, a dare that involved tossing Zoro's boots overboard, and several bets, Luffy had somehow found himself sitting before a set of pens and a stack of paper.
"There! Now you gotta write a novel that will surpass mine!" Usopp crowed, the bump on his head not quite healed. Zoro was sitting not too far away, glaring suspiciously at the two boys.
"I don't wanna write a book!" Luffy flopped over, sucking his cheeks in.
"But you gotta..." Usopp leaned in and paused for dramatic effect, grinning slyly. "Or else I'll win the game."
"YEAH RIGHT! I'M GONNA KICK YOUR ASS AND WRITE THE BEST BOOK EVER!" Luffy loudly declared. Approximately eighty four minutes later, he produced a thick stack of paper, most of which were smudged and/or crumpled and/or torn and/or stained with various food and drink items.
Usopp determined that the novel was completely illegible and told Luffy to rewrite it, but the captain would have none of that crap. Take it or admit he was the winner!, Luffy said. And so after some surprisingly convincing (and overdramatic) groveling, Usopp handed the captain's novel, which smelled like cake and fried chicken, to the resident archaeologist.
Luckily Robin never underestimated tasks assigned to her that involved Luffy.
And then after Luffy refused to stop hovering over Robin's shoulder (she wasn't particularly bothered by it) Nami found out what was going on and decided to keep Robin in the safety of their cabin lest she be driven mad by Luffy's constant pestering.
But Robin really didn't mind any of it.
It was all very amusing.
"DAMMIT, I TOLD YOU-" Nami kicked the door shut, a rubber hand yanking itself away just in time to avoid being caught between the door and frame. "Jeez, Franky was supposed to fix the lock yesterday!"
"Two more pages," Robin calmly said.
"You don't even have to do this, you know!" Nami rubbed her head.
"Shouldn't I be the one asking you that?" she smiled as she asked this.
"Hey, someone's gotta make sure Luffy doesn't start drooling on your hair when he tries to watch you. I still can't believe you agreed to this..."
"I find it remarkably similar to deciphering runes," Robin didn't look up as she transcribed Luffy's writing to a clean sheet of paper. "It's very interesting."
"That is the most ridicu- ... huh... " Nami rubbed her chin. "That... actually makes a lot of sense."
"I'm gonna win the game and you're gonna lose! Shishishi!"
"Ha! Keep telling yourself that!"
"I'm gonna win the game and you're gonna lose, I'm gonna win the game and-"
"I DIDN'T MEAN IT LITERALLY!"
"Done," Robin set her pen down and gathered Luffy's novel and her translation of it into two separate stacks. She wiped a bit of mustard that had dripped from the original draft off the table and glanced over at Nami, smiling.
"Wow. You actually did it," Nami raised an eyebrow and couldn't help but laugh. "Now that is an incredible feat."
"YOU FINISHED?" Luffy's voice came from the other side of the porthole this time.
"YES, SHE FINISHED, NOW YOU CAN STOP LURKING OUTSIDE OUR CABIN!"
And that outcry only prompted Sanji to emerge from the kitchen and kick Luffy away for the sixth time that day. "Shitty rubber, don't you ever learn your lesson!"
"This is important Sanji! Ow ow ow!"
Nami and Robin exited the cabin just in time to see Sanji deliver a magnificent roundhouse kick to Luffy, who managed to block most of the attack with an arm. "Don't you know it's rude, not to mention perverted, to be creeping around the ladies' cabin like that!"
"But you do it all the time!"
"Wha- DAMMIT DON'T SAY THAT OUT LOUD!"
"It's okay, Sanji-kun," it only took a hand on his arm to quell the cook's rampage. "You don't want to kill off what little brain cells he has left."
"Tch. What brain cells?" Sanji muttered. "But of course, Nami-swan, I'll refrain from dealing any more damage to the moron."
The story made absolutely no sense, even with Robin's translation and Usopp's spectacular effort of figuring out the plot (if there was even one).
Luffy still won the game. Somehow.
Robin encouraged Luffy to write more stories anyways.