"So, the 'combat zone quick version'?"

"Fake."

"And even so, the groom can't conduct the ceremony himself, rendering it..."

"Again, fake."

"And given the groom was in Teselecta form at the time?"

"Three strikes and you're out." He grinned.

River fixed the Doctor with a furious glare. "You married Elizabeth the First and Marilyn Monroe, but you won't marry me?"

"I never said I wouldn't..."

"You said you didn't want to!"

"I didn't want to marry Marilyn either!"

"But you still did it!"

"Oh, for goodness sake!" exploded the Doctor, throwing up his hands. "Melody Pond, will you marry me?"