it's been a while. I know and I'm sorry but I had reasons. Anyway you deserve something and i know its not much but its all i got right now. I will be updating more tho I promise!
It was a very long week for Charlotte Hill. She was serving for King Arthur whilst Merlin was assisting Gaius on a trip to help a sick village. Charlotte really did think her job before was difficult but really Merlin had his work cut out for him.
The King had her scrubbing, cleaning, assisting with his duties whilst she had to continue her previous jobs grooming the horses and cleaning Gwen's things. It was a very tiring weak for the young girl but it was just what she needed. She had time to herself, time to occupy her mind and time to get things together about her relationship with Percival.
As she sat down at her kitchen table in her small shack she began to let the events of the past few weeks drift over her mind. It was hard for her watching Percival talk to the other servants. It was also hard for her to keep her feeling so deep inside of her when all she wanted to do was scream at him and confess everything. But she knew she could do that. Not now, not ever.
Sighing she stood up and moved towards her bed kicking off her shoes and resting her head on her very flat pillow. She didn't even bother taking her clothes off. The days had taken there tole on her.
But she couldn't sleep.
As she stared at the ceiling she began to think about the future and what it held for her. She was happy being a servant, especially one of such respect. She was grateful for her job and she really wished to stay there until she was too old to function.
But the obstacle of faith stood in her way.
She sat up suddenly and headed towards the table again grabbing a piece of parchment and a scroll. She stared at the piece of parchment for a while before finally finding the courage to begin to write.
I'm sorry I'm not the person you need me to be.
I'm sorry I'm not capable of being there for you when you need me to be.
I just want you to know that I'm sorry; I wish I could be there the way you want me to be.
You will find someone else, someone more suitable.
I just wanted you to know that I love you and I'm doing this because I want the best for you. And the best is not me.
She stared blankly at the parchment. Everything she wanted to say to him was expressed in such a simple form. To say these words to him in person was a terrifying idea.
She smiled slightly and folded the paper neatly. Percival was expected to return at some point tonight and she wanted to slip this into his room before he arrived home.
As she parted for the castle she realised that maybe she wasn't doing the right thing. Maybe she should have gone with the King in search for them. A few days ago The King became overwhelmed with the idea that something had gone wrong as Merlin, Gwen, Gaius and the Knights all were expected home a few days ago.
Charlotte didn't go with the King for two reasons.
One: She didn't know how to fight and she knew there was going to be some fighting ahead.
Two: She would just be an extra handful for the king to focus on remaining alive.
She had plenty of work to do anyway.
It was a cold evening in Camelot as Charlotte made her way towards the Castle. She briefly made a stop by the horse stables' making sure everything was in check.
When she was around the corner from the castle she heard the sounds of horses along the path. She pulled back briefly taking a peak around the corner noticing the large crowd of people returning from their trip. Charlotte pulled back resting her head against the brick wall.
Her plan of leaving the letter from Percival was not going the way she wanted it too.
Sighing she turned back towards her house.
Tomorrow might be a more eventful day for Charlotte, but for now she just needs to sleep off her worries.
The following morning Charlotte woke at the crack of dawn. Bright eyed and bushy tailed she was ready for the hours of work ahead of her. It was slightly dark as she made her way to feed and groom the horses. She forgot at the last minute that there would be a lot more horses to groom after their return yesterday.
Sighing she smiled at the sleepy animals, they seemed oddly in good tack. All of them actually seemed cleaned and groomed already. Charlotte made her way through the horses staring in awe at how clean they all were.
"I thought you might have needed a hand." A voice said behind Charlotte making her jump back in fear.
She turned around and came face to face with Percival. He was dirty obviously from the horse grooming and his face was oddly gloom. He was tired and scruffy and Charlotte couldn't help but stare at him, as much as she couldn't she really wanted to hug him.
Instead she stood still smiling slightly.
"Thank you; you've done me a great favour." She replied after a moment of silence.
She put her hands in her pockets trying to occupy herself for a moment. She pulls out the envelope with the letter she wrote the night before. She hesitates and whips her hands behind her back quickly.
"Are you ok?" He asked after a moment.
"I'm fine, I'm..." She drifted off pulling her gaze from him.
"Charlotte, what is that?" he pointed towards her hands where the letter she wrote for him was held.
"It's nothing, Percival...it's nothing."
"It's something Charlotte. Look I know we need to talk about this at some point and I'm going to be here whenever you want to do this. But I do care about you Charlotte and I want this to work, I really do."
"Don't do this Percival. Just don't. I'm just sorry I can't be the person you need me to be. I'm sorry I'm not capable of this. I really want this to work but we need to be realistic. You will find someone who is much better for you, someone who is more willing to give you everything you need. That person is not me."
Charlotte let out a sigh of relief; she finally found the courage to say what she wrote down. She was proud of the person she was becoming.
"I'm sorry, I really am. But I do..."
"You do what Charlotte?" Percival sounded agitated now. He was angry at himself for not doing something earlier.
"I think, no I know that I do love you." She finished. She felt the relief hit her so fast. It felt good to let it all come off her chest.
He didn't reply instead he turned on his heels and headed away from the stables leaving Charlotte alone.