I do not own Merlin. This is in Gwaine's Point Of View.

Being Drunk Around Percival Is A Bad Idea

By waterrain

"Men should not bathe every day." I commented to Percival and he gave me a look that practically called me an idiot. "I'm not an idiot. Why not ask the men in this tavern if they clean themselves daily?"

He shook his head at me and I'm feeling a bit bored. Percival never does drink alcohol, he keeps me from starting any brawls in the Traven, and for some reason there is never ever a Traven brawl when Percival is around.

"Why do you clean yourself every day, Percival?" I asked him, but he stood up and looked down at me.

"Why do you not clean yourself every day, Sir Gwaine?" He asked me and I slightly winced for normally when we are alone Percival just calls me Gwaine.

"Touchy." I commented calmly and took a gulp of my ale.

"You started it." Percival informed me. I stood up and looked at him.

"You are a virgin, Percival." I stated while looking him in the eyes. Yes, I decided to change the topic to Percival's virginity and he looked bored.

"There is no law against being a virgin in Camelot." Percival told me and I tilted my head to the side.

"I'm dirty while you are clean. I'm a whore while you are a virgin." I said causally and Percival threw me over his shoulder. He carried me to the nearby river, tossed me in, and after what seemed like a life time. He fished me out of the river.

"What was that for Percival?" I managed to ask loudly after coughing up some water.

"It worked to sober up my siblings when they decided to get drunk." He informed me. I looked at him in disbelief, but to be honest I feel a bit less drunk after being thrown into a river. I never knew that Percival has siblings.

I wish that Percival would get drunk. Then I could lure him to a nearby lake and push him into it or make him trip or something. I'm unable to lift and toss him like he did with me.

"You should get drunk, Percival." I said calmly. On Percival's lips was a very faint smirk. I think one of the reasons he remains sober is so that he could throw a poor drunk Knight into a river, and fish said Knight out. I shook my head and begun to laugh loudly.

"Do you want to be tossed into the river again?" He asked me in a serious voice. I laughed louder and he tossed me into the river. He fished me out, I cough up water, laugh like a mad man, and once again tossed into the river. This occurred a couple of more times before Percival just shook his head at me. I gave him a wide grin and we decided to head to the castle. On the way there I started to shiver for my body seemed to finally realize that I'm soaked to the bone and Percival placed his cloak over my soaked cloak.

In the morning I woke up hang-over and sick. Percival did not offer any sympathy for my condition. The other Knights did not offer any sympathy nor did Arthur. They just chuckled and found my condition to be funny. Of course I had lied and said that a Mermaid made me sick. I hope they get tossed into a river by Percival and wake up feeling sick.

Please Review and Thank You. What do you think of Gwaine being tossed & then fished out of the river by Percival? Who will be Percival's next target ^_^ that is the question.