Disclaimer: As usual, I don't own anything, not even ovaries. They disappeared somewhere along the way while writing this fic.
Pairing: Oliva/Altlivia aka O² aka Crack!Ship of Awesome. With some necessary P/O in the background (and a mention of Leeham XD)
Spoilers: Up to 4x03 'Alone In The World'
Rating: This part is K+...second part will be M :p
A/N: You know how sometimes you get a crazy ideas in the middle of the night, and you decide to start writing it just for the fun of it, and it turns into a huge monster? Well, that's the story of my life.
Anyway, this is obviously not my usual paring. This, my dears, is my guilty!ship. I can't help it, Anna Torv is just so good at creating sexual tension with herself. And I love the Olivias.
This story is split into two parts, because it's just giant. Also, the first part in just full of UST, nothing serious. You don't have to read the Serious in Part 2 if it irks you XD I had the hardest time classifying this, as it is obviously not a romance story. There's should be an option for 'crack!ships'.
That's when I stop rambling and let you read! Enjoy :)
MIRROR, MIRROR ON THE WALL
If there was someone Olivia did not expect to see standing on the other side of her hotel room's door when she looked through the peephole at 2.30am, it was her Alternate. She was even more taken aback when she opened the door, and a simple look at her face was enough to let her know that she was drunk.
It was all so very wrong. Yet again, everything felt wrong right now.
Olivia was in the wrong place, literally speaking, forced to function in a Universe that wasn't her own; even her room felt off, details all over the place reminding her of the fact that this wasn't her world, that she shouldn't be here. She didn't want to be here. She doubted she would ever stop feeling irked whenever she was Over There, knowing how she had spent her first trip here, a year ago.
Being kidnapped and held captive in a dark room for two months tended to mark you for life.
But as usual, she didn't have a choice when it came to her work or wherever it took her, especially now that the Bridge was functional. One thing that was not exactly functional on the other hand was her relationship with this other Olivia. Not that she wanted it to be. She had been somewhat grateful for the fact that the Fringe Division being what it was here, they weren't forced to share a hotel room, like it would have been the case Over Here; the government still didn't exactly give them a lot of money on their side.
Olivia never slept well in hotel rooms, if she slept at all, and these past few weeks, sleep had become even more challenging than before, due to the peculiar things she was seeing in her dreams. It wasn't so much the dreams themselves, which were truthfully quite enjoyable, but rather how she felt upon awaking.
That was why she hadn't really tried to sleep at all tonight, knowing that she was too restless to even try anyway. And as she usual, she was depressingly lonely. She was lonely, and she knew that dreaming would only soothe her for so long, before she was left feeling empty again. That feeling had only worsened when she had briefly thought about going down to the bar and get a drink with…
That's where the thought had stopped, and the absence of a name she couldn't place and a face she couldn't fully remember had stung, like it always did, that gaping hole never giving her any respite. It was throbbing harder than ever tonight, as if being here, in this place, such a wrong place, reminded her of something she should know, but didn't.
Facing her Alternate in the middle of the night, an inebriated Alternate, was not something she felt like dealing with right now, and she was irritated before she even said a single word.
"Can I come in?" Liv casually asked then, remarkably steadily, though one of her hands was now grabbing the doorframe, as if to keep herself from slumping too much.
Olivia knew she didn't usually drink; it was one of the many traits she had catalogued in her head as being 'the things she herself did/didn't do, and which ultimately made her more flawed than her Alternate'.
Said Alternate was doing a pretty good job at not looking or sounding too drunk, despite her lack of habit in doing so, but Olivia knew what she looked like after too many drinks; that was a look she had seen in the mirror once too many times in her life.
Her first impulse was to close the door in her face. But as she stared at her, she noticed other signs, beside her glassy eyes and other alcohol induced symptoms, little things that were all very wrong, and very unusual. The rim of her eyes were actually red, as if she had cried, but Olivia pushed the though away. This Olivia did not cry, this Olivia was less emotionally driven, or at least not as openly.
Because of their forced collaboration, she had now –reluctantly- spent too many hours working by her side, and was being reminded way too often of the fact that, at the core, they were irrefutably the same.
She hated it, hated that sometimes, she couldn't ignore the obvious truth…that they were both Olivia Dunham.
It was so much easier to ignore it, when their differences shone as brightly as the contrast of their hair.
Right now, though, Liv looked very much like herself on a very bad day, which was just as wrong as everything else. It was suddenly dawning on Olivia that up until now, she had never seen her with her guard down, and wouldn't have minded keeping it that way, to be honest. But it was too late.
Now she was intrigued –not to mention aggravated by the fact that she had gotten drunk when they were supposedly still on duty.
That was why she didn't close the door, not right away anyway, saying disapprovingly: "You're drunk."
Liv shrugged, a coy smile on her lips. "So?"
"You don't drink," Olivia specified, not appreciating the carefree attitude she was already choosing to display –as usual, and yet unable not to know that it was a defensive demeanor like any other.
Liv chuckled then. "What are you, my mother?"
The resentment that was never very far whenever she talked with her Alternate spiked just then, changing her slight irritation into real annoyance. They were both aware of the fact that there was only one Marilyn Dunham still alive and that, as usual, Olivia was not the lucky daughter in that case.
And so she crossed her arms in front of her chest, straightening up, an unconscious gesture –or not- to look taller than her, who was now pretty much slouching against the doorframe.
She was not going to give in and enter her game.
"No, I'm not your mother, but I'm part of your team," she told her coldly. "What would happen if Colonel Broyles called right now and said we needed to be out on the field in fifteen minutes?"
Liv cocked her head, pursing her lips in a fake, contemplative smirk. "Well, I guess I would have to let you drive my car."
That was about enough for Olivia. Despite the fact that she woudn't sleep, she was tired, exhausted really, her nerves raw from this inexplicable feeling still weighting her down; she had no time for the drunk woman, and no amount of curiosity was worth being mocked with that smile at 2 freaking 30 in the morning.
She made to close the door without even one last word, only her famous glare, but Liv blocked it with her foot, and then with her whole body, almost embracing the wood, as if she was trying to force her way into room. But Olivia had the upper hand; she was the one pushing it close, and had full use of her coordination skills…unlike her.
That's how Liv ended up pretty much squashed between the door and the frame, her face very close to hers; she didn't even make a noise when Olivia kept on putting pressure on the door a little longer than necessary, even though it had to be painful.
Her smile was gone, though, and for a second, Olivia thought she saw a glimpse of what had led to drink in the first place in her eyes.
"I'm sorry," Liv said then, honestly. "I'll try and keep my mouth shut. I just…I don't want to be alone anymore right now, or I might drink myself into a coma." Her face was really close, so close that Olivia could see every detail in her eyes, and she became quite certain then that she had to have been crying at some point earlier. She knew these signs. "Let me in?" Pause. "Please."
She did not let her in, but she lifted her weight off the door so that Liv wasn't crushed anymore –and to put some distance between them. She still kept it mostly closed, now narrowing her eyes at her Alternate.
"Why come to my room, though?" She asked her suspiciously. "Your Lincoln is in the building, too, and I'm sure he'd be delighted to take care of your drunken self."
And that was an understatement. From what Olivia had witnessed so far, the man was completely crazy about the red-haired woman. Why, she really didn't know.
Even though she seemed generally oblivious to her partner's smitten looks, Liv must have been aware of it on some level at least because she smiled then, and it wasn't mocking or any kind of annoying. It was actually slightly giddy. "Let's just say that if I went to Lincoln's room right now, knowing him and knowing myself, I'd probably end up in his bed. I figured it was less likely to happen with you."
The way she stared at Olivia as she said these words was actually rather conflicting with what she was saying, and not for the first time, Olivia found herself feeling suddenly extremely self-conscious under her Alternate's gaze, in a way she did not like to feel when it came to her.
She was probably making things up, being her paranoid self…but there were only so many meanings to these kind of looks, were there?
More to put an end to her stare and the awkwardness it was causing her to feel than anything else, Olivia moved away from the door, then, letting her come in. She heard her close the door, but gave herself a few seconds to compose herself, fighting the urge to run a hand through her hair –she knew she was still being watched, and was all too aware of the fact that her every move could easily be deciphered by her present company.
She wished she didn't feel the constant need to appear strong and in control in front of her Alternate, but she couldn't exactly help it.
She eventually turned around, wrapping her arms in front of her chest again to keep her hands still. Liv hadn't moved, now leaning tiredly against the door, still staring at her indeed. Olivia fully took her in for the first time tonight, noting the way she was dressed…which was pretty much the way she herself had dressed for 'sleep', with comfy pants and an old shirt. While her own attire was black and grey, Liv's pants were white, her shirt a light, faded blue.
Generally speaking, she definitely looked worn out and disheveled, as if she hadn't been getting much sleep either; it was very odd to see her out of her work clothes, lacking her usual assertive aura. It wasn't that she looked nervous or anything of the sort –Olivia doubted this woman ever felt any kind of nervousness even when she didn't have alcohol running through her veins, but she definitely looked…less assured.
Their opposite postures still screamed of how different they could be, though, one of them standing straight and tensed, arms crossed, while the other was almost casually and tranquilly leaning against the door, hands loosely joined in front of her.
"What's wrong with you?" Olivia asked then, bluntly.
Liv raised an eyebrow. "What do you mean, what's wrong with me?"
Olivia held onto her elbows to keep her hands from coming up again, determined to keep a collected demeanor. The annoyance was definitely still there, though. She had to keep herself from sighing as well.
"You decided to get drunk tonight, despite the fact that you don't usually drink, and then you came here. There has to be something."
Liv shrugged. "I didn't come here to talk about my problems; I was more hoping for a distraction."
And there was that smile again, and that look, and Olivia's nostrils flared. "It's 2.30 in the morning," she told her with a scowl. "I'm that close to calling Lincoln and asking him to come deal with you, since apparently, he'd be able to distract you. Either you tell me what's upsetting you so much that you had to come to my room, or you get out."
Amazingly, Liv averted her eyes then, now scowling too. "You're gonna think I'm nuts," she muttered.
Olivia chuckled humorlessly, and the other woman looked back up at her. "We are alternate versions of each other, standing in the same room. Try me. I'm sure I can keep an open mind."
Liv tilted her head shortly, though a bit sloppily, admitting that she had a point. She still remained quiet for another long moment, now nibbling on her lip, eyes lost in the distance. When she finally spoke again, she still didn't look at her.
"Ever since the Bridge was created I've been…" She stopped, looking frustrated, one of her hands now raised in front of her, palm up. "I dunno how to explain it. I've been feeling like…like something's off, or missing, and lately I've been having dreams, and hearing…stuff."
Olivia's entire body had tensed upon hearing her words, her breath even stopping briefly in her throat. And it wasn't caused by the fact that her Alternate was telling her that they were basically experiencing the same things, no, far from it. It was caused by sudden and pure anger, which was melding with mortification.
She couldn't believe she had fallen for this.
"You've talked to Lincoln, haven't you?" She asked her then, her voice icy and low, still trying to contain her emotions, though it was becoming incredibly hard. "The Lincoln from my side."
Liv finally met her eyes again, looking startled and confused, as if not understanding her sudden rage. "What?"
But Olivia wasn't going to be fooled any longer. She had known this woman couldn't be trusted, and yet she had let her in her room, had even been ready to listen to her on some level.
"The two of you talked, didn't you? He told you what I told him, and you decided it would be fun to mess with me a little more."
She had started pacing now, unable to stop herself, staring at her Alternate with a deathly glare, and Liv's confusion only worsened.
"I have no idea what you're talking about," she said with a small, baffled chuckle. "I've only spoken to your Lincoln twice, and you were there during both cases, remember?"
"Don't lie to me," Olivia said crossly, still pacing, ignoring the fact that she surely looked like some kind of angry animal. "You're always trying to find ways to piss me off, but this is…you've gone too far."
Liv raised both hands in fake surrender, still looking perplexed. "Why the hell do you think I'm always trying to piss you off?"
"Because you are," Olivia almost snapped, stopping abruptly. "Don't pretend you don't like rubbing it in my face, how you stole my life and fooled all my friends."
Liv pursed her lips then, before shrugging a shoulder, slumping back against the door. "Alright," she admitted, without any trace of remorse. "Maybe I do enjoy pissing you off."
It was Olivia's turn to be slightly taken aback, not expecting an admission from her. "Why?" She couldn't help asking, her heart still pounding.
Liv shrugged again. "I don't know. You're just always so…tensed and closed up. When you're mad, you get all flushed and flustered. I like it."
That was an answer Olivia truly hadn't seen coming –though admittedly, she couldn't say she was completely surprised by the way she was staring at her again. To add to her aggravation, she could feel the burning sensation on her cheeks increase, proof that she was indeed blushing; she still did her best to keep a straight face on, despite the fact she really couldn't think of anything to say in reply to her confession.
Eventually, surely deciding that she had created enough awkward tension between them, Liv spoke again, still refusing to blink. "I am not trying to piss you off tonight, though. I'm not lying. Your Lincoln hasn't told me anything at all, and I've really been hearing…"
Olivia held her gaze, hardly convinced. One thing for sure, she was not going to help her spit it out, whatever it was. She seemed to realize that, because she said:
"I've been hearing a…baby. A crying baby."
Alright. She hadn't expected that one either.
She sure did not expect the look that crossed her Alternate's face after saying these words. She watched as she closed her eyes, her face constricting briefly, breathing sharply as if trying to contain some intense emotion, shaking her head slightly.
"And it doesn't make any sense," Liv half-muttered, half-whispered, as if talking to herself. "I don't even like kids in the first place. I've never really been around babies, but every time I hear those cries I…"
One of her hands was up to her chest now, clenching her shirt in a tight fist. When she realized what she was doing, she let go and dropped her hand, lifting her head again to look at her, offering her a fake smile. Olivia didn't fail to notice that her eyes looked watery again.
"Hence the drinking," Liv concluded, forcing herself to sound casual, and doing a pretty good job at it. "It might still taste disgusting, the buzz is kinda nice."
Olivia didn't bother telling her that it was the reason why most people drank alcohol in the first place; not because it tasted good, but because enough of it numbed the pain.
"So," Liv kept on going, now cocking her head at her, and looking buzzed alright. "Do you hear them too?"
Olivia remained very quiet and still. She absolutely did not want to share her feelings about this with her, or with anybody else, really. The only reason why she had told Lincoln about the hole had been because at times, she just couldn't help herself from relating too much, and she had wanted to let him know that she understood. She wanted him to realize that she knew.
And apparently, unexpectedly, it would appear that Liv knew, too.
She still did not want to talk about this with her, to talk about the dreams, or his face, and the absence she constantly felt. She was even less interested in understanding what this shared feeling might mean.
And so she shook her head and simply said: "I don't hear any crying baby."
Which was the truth. She could see in these eyes that looked so much like hers that she knew she wasn't being truly honest –especially after her little bout of anger minutes before, but she didn't seem to care much. After all, she had told her right away that she didn't want to talk about this, that she had only come here hoping to find a distraction.
And it was quickly becoming obvious again from the way she was staring at her, that Olivia was the distraction.
"Stop it." Olivia told her firmly, hating the way her heartbeat was already increasing again, this woman having the uncanny ability to get her all worked up over nothing.
Liv smiled slyly. "I'm not doing anything."
Olivia wasn't amused, not to mention honestly tired of her games and the uneasiness the situation was creating in her. "You're staring at me with that…look again. I don't like it."
Anyone else would surely have been at least slightly embarrassed, or considerate enough to stop whatever disconcerting behavior they were displaying. But not her, oh no; she seemed to truly rejoice in getting any kind of reaction out of Olivia.
And boy was she good at it.
"I can't help it," she said then with another shrug, her lopsided smile back on her lips. "I think you're hot."
Needless to say it successfully shocked Olivia. "You think I'm-" But she had to stop, shaking her head in both disbelief and annoyance. "Are you kidding me?"
The smile turned into a grin. "Nope."
Olivia couldn't fight it anymore, both her hands briefly coming up to her face, palms pressed together as she drew a sharp breath in. She was clearly trying to mess with her head now, and the worst part was that she was being annoyingly successful. When she dropped her hands, she gave her Alternate a very disapproving look, shaking her head again. "What is wrong with you?"
Liv chuckled, obviously refusing to stop smiling. "What, you don't think I'm hot?"
"Wh-" But that sentence too stopped before it even began, dropping the hand that had already sneakily made its way up to her hair with an aggravated sigh. "I'm sorry if you find it hard to comprehend, but I don't think of you in terms of hot or not hot."
This earned her a snort; she seemed incredibly relaxed and unbothered by the conversation they were having, one of her feet now up against the door, arms loosely crossed in front of her chest again, a very inappropriate posture, really.
"Oh c'mon," she said with an intent look. "It's only human to gauge people that way, even more so when you get to meet another version of yourself. There's nothing wrong about it."
Olivia could feel her cheeks burning in indignation again, unsure of what she was feeling exactly, but irritation and embarrassment were clearly part of the mix. "Oh, it's not wrong at all," she said sarcastically, her own arms crossed again as she started pacing once more. "It just makes you incredibly narcissistic."
Liv calmly watched her going back and forth in front of her bed, clearly enjoying herself. "And so what if I'm a bit narcissistic? I've never said I was perfect, not that I wanna be." And she grinned again at that. "Doesn't change the fact that we're both hot."
Olivia stopped abruptly, glaring at her in a way that would have made more than one person recoil in fear of impending death. But Liv didn't even blink…which was very unsettling. Yet again, why would she feel intimidated by a look she herself loved to give on occasions?
"I'm not trying to embarrass you," Liv said then, losing her smile a little. "I'm just curious. You intrigue me."
Olivia really didn't want to be in this room anymore. Yet, she seemed unable to look away from the other woman. She could lie to herself all she wanted, the fact remained that she was surely just as equally intrigued by her Alternate.
The main difference was that Olivia didn't want to ponder on it, while she seemed to have made it her new project.
"You can stop your investigation," she told her quite sternly, though she still felt like her blood was boiling in her veins. "There's nothing intriguing about me."
Liv simply smiled knowingly at that, before finally pushing herself away from the door, taking a step towards her, and Olivia fought the urge to take a step back. She would not bend and admit defeat.
"I think it's sad you see yourself that way," Liv told her, her eyes going up and down her body again. "Like I said, you definitely intrigue me."
Olivia didn't think the odd tension she felt crackling between them could get any thicker, and yet she was pretty sure it had just gone up a notch. She still did not avert her eyes, though, standing her ground in a very tense posture.
"Just try and think of me as someone who's not an alternate version of you," Liv said then, with a slight pout. "If I was anyone else, you wouldn't think I was even a little bit hot?"
God she was stubborn…and drunk. And definitely narcissistic.
Amazingly, though, Olivia found herself holding back the smallest of smiles. She was still annoyed, and slightly embarrassed, and all kind of confused and worked up, but she had to admit that this was hardly harmful.
She relaxed slightly, even though the whole situation still made her feel weirdly uncomfortable.
Eventually, she shrugged a bit stiffly, arms still crossed. "I don't know." She finally said. "I guess generally speaking, I think you're more…uhm…I don't know. Sexy, I guess."
And there she was blushing again, instantly regretting her words, even though they were true. She had always inwardly and reluctantly been somewhat jealous of the way her Alternate seemed to be so at ease in a body that was basically similar to hers.
Liv tilted her head, hands on her hips, frowning a bit exceedingly. "You don't think you're sexy."
Olivia did not miss the fact that it was not a question, and pursed her lips disapprovingly. "I didn't say that."
"No, you didn't, but you still believe it," Liv instantly replied, her eyes looking her over yet again as she kept on frowning, distractingly nibbling on her lip. While Olivia was left feeling inadequate again, she seemed lost in some intense contemplation. "Hasn't anyone ever told you you were sexy?" She asked then, and for once, her voice didn't even have any flirty consonance. She seemed really puzzled.
Olivia knew on some level that she was genuinely surprised, her reaction even accentuated by her current state, and that she wasn't mocking her in any way. But she couldn't help it; she felt self-conscious all over again, almost hollow, as if this void still throbbing had emptied her of anything beautiful and worthy that could have maybe made someone look at her the way this Lincoln looked at her Alternate.
She had loved before, and been loved –or at least these men had said the words. And there had been times when she had felt pretty good and confident. But it had been a long time ago.
Many, many, many months had passed since then, so many of them that they had turned into years. Maybe her past lovers had told her she was sexy, or had let her know one way or another. She couldn't remember.
And trying to remember only made her that much more aware of what wasn't there.
Maybe too much of what she was feeling and thinking about reflected on her face, because the look on Liv's face had changed too. She looked almost serious now, her gaze as intense as ever.
And so Olivia shrugged a little, still hugging herself, as if trying to shake some of her shadows away. "I guess you've heard it more often than me," she finally answered quite bleakly. She didn't even feel any kind of resentment.
Mostly, she just felt numb now. That was what tended to happen when she let the loneliness spread.
Liv was still staring at her, and Olivia wondered briefly if she maybe felt a bit of what she felt, considering what she had told her earlier.
"What do you think makes me sexier than you?"
One thing for sure, stubbornness was a trait they shared.
TO BE CONTINUED
More to come...if you want it :p Next part, Liv gets persuasive and Olivia gets...persuaded.
Part two should be posted tomorrow, but it's going to depend on my ability to finish it tonight. As you know, reviews are the best motivation boosters EVER.