Gundam Kids Say The Darndest Things!
By: Dor' aka Mia
Disclaimer: I don't own Gundam Wing or the TV show Kids Say the Darndest things. So don't sue me! ALL CHARACTERS ARE CHIBI!!! Except Mia, who is the host.
*Show opens with Zechs, Unne, and Trieze*

Trieze: Welcome to Gundam Kids say the Darndest Things!
Unne: It's a fun show, for kids of all ages, even though I've never seen it myself.
Zechs: I hope it's good!
Unne: I wonder what it's about?
Trieze: Let the show begin!
*First scene: Host Mia (Me! the author) sits down with Dorothy Catalonia, Relena Peacecraft, Catherine Bloom, Sally Po, and Hilde Schbeiker.*
Mia: So what's your name's?
Dorothy: *Standing up out of her chair* My name's Dorothy Catalonia!
Relena: And my name's Relena Peacecraft. Please to be here.
Catherine: My name's Catherine Bloom, but you can call me Cathy! *sticks out hand at Mia and demands that Mia shake it*
Mia: *Shakes Cathy's hand* Hi.
Sally: My name's Sally Po.
Mia: What an unusual last name!
Sally: So? You gotta a problem with my last name?!
Mia: Huh? No, not at all!
Sally: Better not.
Hilde: My name's Hilde Schbeiker. I have blue eyes and blue hair!
Mia: Oh, okay. Anyways, what's your opinion on peace?
Relena: Peace is a good thing and all people should be under complete and total pacifism.
Mia: Such a big word for a small girl.
Dorothy: Well, I totally contradict that! War is beautiful and it will stay and be beautiful! Forever and ever! Bwahahahahahahahahahahahaha!
Mia: *A little freaked* Okay, what do you other girls think?
Cathy: Who cares? As long as my step brother will be there so I can throw knives at him.
Mia: You throw knives at your brother?!
Cathy: Yep! And I even nicked his ear once and he didn't complain.
Mia: *getting even more freaked* Okay, Sally, Hilde, what's your opinion?
Hilde: It don't matter, but I prefer peace.
Sally: Same here.
Dorothy: You all are brainwashed by that tattletale over there *points to Relena* and her peace talk!
Relena: *offended* Hey! I don't tattle that much!
Dorothy: Yes, you do!
Relena: Nuh-uh!
Dorothy: Uh-uh!
*Two of them keep this up for awhile*
Mia: Well, let's get the rest of this show on the road!
*Next scene: All the Gboys (Remember they're chibi) are on stage*
Mia: *approaches the first chair* Well, what's your name?
Heero: *doesn't look at Mia* My name's Heero Yui.
Mia: Okay, what is your favorite show?
Heero: I don't watch TV.
Mia: You don't?
Heero: No, I'm too busy training.
Mia: For what?
Heero: To fight in the war.
Mia: Oh, okay. Do you know that guy over there? *points to the little braided boy next to him*
Heero: He's a baka.
Mia: You don't talk much do you?
*Heero grunts*
Mia: Oh, okay. *moves to the little braided boy* What's your name?
Duo: Konichiwa! My name's Duo Maxwell aka Shinigami!
Mia: Why would you wanna become Shinigami?
Duo: 'Cause it's fun!
Mia: Do you like that kid over there? *points to Heero*
Duo: He's so fun to be around! I can talk all I want and he not mouth of at me, like a certain Chinese would. *coughs* But I love everyone! *jumps out of chair and begins to dance*
Chinese Boy: Watch it Maxwell!
Blonde boy: Guys stop fighting!
Silent Boy: ………..
Mia: *moves over to the silent boy* What's you name?
Silent Boy: *writes something on a chalkboard and shows it to Mia* ……
Mia: *reads the chalkboard* Trowa Barton aka Trinton Bloom. Interesting. Why don't you talk?
Trowa: *writes on the chalkboard again* ……………..
Mia: *Reads the chalkboard again* Because I don't want to. I like writing more. Plus, I love my chalkboard!
Trowa: *writes something else* ………
Mia: *Reading* So there! *pauses* Okay, well, we'll just move onto the next kid.
Trowa: *touches Mia's arm* ………*shows her the chalkboard*
Mia: Oh. *reading the chalkboard* My sister throws knives at me. *turns to Trowa* Oh, so you're the step brother that Cathy throws knives at!
*Trowa nods*
Mia: Oh, well, take care of that ear. *moves to the Blonde Boy* What's you name?
Blonde Boy: My name's Quatre Raberba Winner. My father is the head of the Winner Foundation on L4. *turns to bodyguard* And this is Rasid. Say hi Rasid!
Rasid: Hello, Ms. Mia. It's a pleasure to be on the same stage as you. *bows*
Mia: *blushes* Well, it's a pleasure for Mr. Winner to allow his son to be on my show.
Quatre: *smiles* I'm Arabian.
Mia: You are?
Quatre: *nods* Yep. And my daddy is over there. *points to his Father is over in the audience*
Mia: Hi Mr. Winner.
Duo: I think she like little Quatre more than us.
Chinese Boy: Injustice! Quatre, quit stealing the spotlight! I haven't gotta turn yet!
Quatre: *whimpers* You're so mean, WuFei.
Duo: Nuh-uh, Heero's meaner!
Heero: Omae o korosu.
Mia: Now where did you learn that?!
Chinese Boy: *gets up and drags Mia over to his seat* Now, onna! You talk to me!
Duo: Ooooh, I thing Chang-head has a crush!
Chinese Boy: *ignoring Duo* My name's Chang WuFei, Master of Martial Arts, the Solitary Dragon, Heir of the Dragon Clan.
Mia: My what a long name.
WuFei: It's a title, not a name! Get it right, onna!
Mia: My name's Mia.
WuFei: You're still an onna.
Mia: Fine, I'm not gonna argue with you, I'll lose my job. Now, what's the problem with you and Duo?
WuFei: He's a baka that talks too much.
Duo: Do not!
WuFei: Kisama! *pulls out chibi katana and chases Duo around with it*
Duo: Ha! *pulls out chibi scythe*
*Duo and WuFei fight*
Heero: Omae o korosu. *pulls out a chibi gun*
Quatre: Guys! Please don't fight!
*complete and total chaos breaks out on stage while Trowa sits there and watches it all*
Mia: *To Trowa* Are you the only sane one here?
Trowa: *writes something on his chalkboard* …………………..
Mia: *once again reads the chalkboard* No. People think I'm insane because of my hair and I don't talk. *Pauses and looks up at Trowa's hair* Well, I'd think you were psycho also.
Trowa: ………Meanie………. *breaks chalkboard whacking Mia's head*
Mia: Ow. Luckily, I have a hard head. Let's move to the next segment of our show.
*Next to the last scene: Quatre stands on the stage with his chibi violin*
Quatre: *bows to the audience* While Ms. Mia is trying to hide the bump on her head from when Trowa hit her, I'll play my violin.
*Audience laughs*
*Sparkling Harmony music comes on*
*Quatre starts playing*
Trowa: Let me help. *pulls out chibi flute*
Quatre: Thanks!
*Trowa and Quatre play Sparkling Harmony together*
*Audience coos*
Mia: *after songs over* Good job you two! *claps* Bravo!
Trowa: ……………..
Quatre: I tried my hardest.
Mia: Well, I think it was good. *to audience* Now onto the last segment of my show! Before the show started, I gotta chance to talk with all these wonderful kids-
Duo: *offstage* Hee-kun and Wuffie-ooh aren't wonderful.
WuFei: Neither are you Maxwell.
Heero: Omae o korosu.
Mia: As I was saying, I got to talk with these wonderful kids before the show started, even the ones you saw at the beginning, and learn more about them. Let's watch.
*lights dim and a TV turns on*
Doctor J: Here's a tour of the Gundam cave.
Dorothy: Yeah! I get to see weapons of war for the first time!
Heero and Trowa: ……………………….
Duo: Yippee!
WuFei: Why me?
Mia: *to herself* It's gonna be a loooooonnng day. *to the kids* Let's get going.
Duo: Let's go!
Relena: I don't like it here, it's filled with evil.
Dorothy: And you gotta problem with evil?
Relena: As a matter of fact I do.
Dorothy and Duo: Well, I am evil.
Relena: That's no lie!
Mia: *sweat drops* Great.
Professor H: Come on kids, I'll show you to the Gundams and MS's.
Duo: Come on, Hee-kun! Let's move! *pulls on Heero's arm*
Quatre: *pulls on Mia's sleeve* Ms. Mia, Heero's gonna shoot Duo again.
*Mia and the Gundam kids move towards the Gundams*
*Time passes*
Mia: *voice in the background* While I was there, Heero almost killed Duo again, but WuFei stopped him from doing it. Quatre watched the whole thing and was very polite, and Trowa broke his board over Duo's head, not mine this time, thank Kami. So, when it was all over, we all came out and I was gonna ask them a few questions.
*Scene shows Mia and the Gundam kids coming out of the cave*
Mia: So, what did you learn?
Duo: That the Gundam Deathscythe is mine! All mine! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Mia: Okay, anyone else?
Dorothy: Me and Relena-
Quatre: No, Relena and I.
Dorothy: She's always first!
Relena: That's because I'm special!
Dorothy: Well, anyways *sticks tongue out at Relena* We were arguing the whole time, so I never really paid any attention.
Mia: Well, at least you're honest.
Relena: *under her breath, but loud enough that Dorothy can hear it* For once in her life and probably the only time.
Dorothy: *pulls out chibi anime mallet* Not funny! *whacks Relena with it*
Relena: Hee-kun! Save me! You're supposed to be my protector!
Heero: …………….Yeah………….Whatever…………..
Mia: Well, let's all go home, and I'll see you tomorrow on the show.
Cathy: Can I demonstrate my knife throwing technique?
Mia: No, we already have someone doing the entertainment.
Cathy: *sigh* Oh, okay.
*Scene dissolves*
*lights turn on*
Mia: As you can see, I had a very interesting time with these kids. They were so much fun that I had to take a whole bottle of aspirin when I got home. Well, folks, our time is up. Tomorrow, we'll have the Ronin Warrior boys as our guest and have some very interesting entertainment.
Duo: *runs on stage and sobs in Mia's skirt* You mean, we don't get to see you again?!
Mia: You can turn on the TV and watch my show, and be able to see me.
Duo: Really?!
*Mia nods*
Duo: K! *runs offstage*
*Audience sweat drops*
Mia: Goodbye people, and remember, a piece of bread could mean a completely different thing to a kid, and never take a group of kids to see a bunch of Gundams.
*Lights Dim as Mia walks offstage*
Ending comments: Okay, so I got bored! So sue me (but you won't get much). I wrote my disclaimer at the top, so you can't sue me there either! *sticks tongue at the crowd of people reading* Nanny-nanny-boo-boo! Okay that was childish! Well, tell me what you think! Buh-bye!