This Far

Chapter 1- Why Bother

I do not own Victorious or the song Why Bother by Allison Weiss. If I did I probably wouldn't be sitting here thinking about all the things I don't own.

But why bother
Cause I'd rather call it off
Than wait for it to work
And why bother
Cause I bet you're better off
With some other hopeless jerk
And I like you, but what can I do
There's too much space to make you stay

Frustrated cannot even begin to describe how I feel about Jade West. I'm frustrated how I try so hard to make her notice me, at least acknowledge our friendship. Like I said, frustration cannot begin to describe my feelings for Jade, and while I can sit here and toss out a bunch of words to try and describe my feelings, I rather take you back to the beginning.

Ever since I started attending Hollywood Arts, Jade has been nothing but mean to me, and while most people would be scared shitless and run for their lives the second they got a chance, I stuck around. I've been nothing but nice to her, and I could tell that annoys her. Every time I try to get close to her she pushes me away. Its like she built this castle, complete with a moat full of piranhas and crocodiles, and the only way to get inside is if she lets the drawbridge down, and I dont see that happening anytime soon. The closest Ive ever been to getting though those impervious castle walls was the time I helped her and Beck get back together, and I must admit the smidge of vulnerable Jade that I saw made me want more, like a lion having its first taste of blood, I needed more.

"Whats that song for?" I ask as Andre finishes the last chord on his keyboard.

"It's for my advanced songwriting class semester project, and it's wigging me out." he says with a little hit of worry in his voice.

"Well put your wig back on!" I joke, and I swear I heard the sound of crickets chirping, "Cause that song sounds really cool." I say trying to dispel the awkwardness.

"Thanks but I've got no lyrics yet and it's due in three days." the musical genius states. After Robbie's painful attempt at coming up with lyrics, I got an idea.

"Didnt jade take that class last year?" I asked Andre as he started to put away his keyboard.

"Yah I think so why?" he asked curiously as he slowly slide his computer into his backpack.

"Well maybe she could help your come up with the lyrics. I would help you but I've been told I couldn't write a song to save my life." I said as an image of a certain goth girl with raven hair popped into my mind.

Little did Andre know, that me and said goth girl had been spending a fair amount of time together lately. It started off with her coming over to use my piano to practice on, and after a couple of days it seemed like she was starting to let the drawbridge down. But I should've known better than to try and cross the treacherous moat.

"Just shut it Vega!" Jade turns and snaps at me. I should have known better than to bring this up.

"I'm sorry Jade but I can't." I stood my ground not afraid to back down. These last few days I've seen the nice, sweeter side of Jade that most people probably don't know about, except for Beck and maybe Cat, and I am no longer afraid of her. "Why don't you show this side of you at school? Why do you act so ganky all the time, and trust me I know you're acting!" I shout back. I was really ticked off now.

"It's none of your business whether I do or do not act a certain way" she huffs.

"But it is my business because I don't want to keep hiding our friendship. I hate keeping up appearances at school. I feel like your dirty little secret!" I scream. I honestly do hate how when we're alone Jade is this nice, sweet person with a heart, but as soon as I see her at school it's back to the old bitter Jade everyone knows.

"I never said you had to be my friend. No one forced you to care so much!" she retaliated through gritted teeth. " If you want I won't keep you a secret anymore, because there is nothing to hide."

And with those last soft-spoken words she left, and she took my heart with her. I would never admit it, but Jade had stolen my heart and broke it all within a matter of days.