Summary: Neon Genesis Evangelion/Rebuild of Evangelion, crossover with Gurren Lagann, Code Geass/R2, Full Metal Panic!/Fumoffu! (haven't decided on whether or not I'll include The Second Raid yet), some light GaoGaiGar, and (elements of/characters from) whatever the hell else I come up with, all stuffed in a blender, set on EPIC, and then set out as a milkshake for your enjoyment.
Disclaimer: I own the scenario. And any original characters (Gate) /situations (the nature of this particular Megacrossover) /stuff (the titular Neon Knights, though obviously not their designations). Otherwise, I don't own it.
Pairing: Shinji/Mari, eventual Rei/?, eventual Asuka/?, various canon couples from other stuff that I included in this universe, etc.
Rating: T for language and themes.
Finally, the end of the anachronic order!... I think. Although scenes will still hop about a bit, since the action itself FINALLY starts in the next chapter. Or at least, it's scheduled to. Also, some people are probably going to question some of the things that Mari says and does here, in particular given that she's still a kid. My first answer was long and complicated, but to summarize it, she's just extremely abnormal and therefore often does abnormal things. Ultimately, this chapter is still world-building, though.
Also, if you see
Then that is where the soundtrack kicks in, and the following scene is best accompanied by the specified music in [brackets]. It doesn't happen this chapter (except as the "credits" music after the omake) but I thought I'd put this note here for future reference.
2007; NERV-Berlin, Germany
The bespectacled man swiveled around in his chair as he asked, "Are you sure about this, Pilot Sohryu? The procedure is not only irreversible, but it hasn't even been tested on animals yet. If you undergo this, there is a very real chance that you could lose your humanity."
The child said, "I'll still be able to pilot the Evangelion, right? That's all that matters, then. What do you care, anyway? Don't tell me you're actually passing up a chance to cut someone open and experiment on them."
Twisting the massive screw that had been bolted into the side of his head, Doctor Franken Stein blandly replied, "That's not necessarily the case. However, most people heavily frown upon any sort of medical procedure with the goal of transhumanism, even moreso when it hasn't been proven yet, and even moreso when performed on a child that has yet to complete her development."
Her tone monotonous, Asuka said, "News flash, doc: I came to you. My goddamn life isn't worth anything as it is. Aside from that goddamn mecha, I don't have a reason to exist. And if your theory is correct – that any augmentations made to the pilot can transfer to the Eva as a result of the synchronization – then by all means, experiment on me. If your procedure can make me more powerful, then don't hold back."
In order to insure that security wouldn't incarcerate his ass, Stein asked one more time, "So I take it then, that I have the consent of Asuka Langley Sohryu to begin a procedure that not only involves surgical replacement of various body parts with advanced mechanical substitutes, but also to begin an extremely painful chemical treatment which should mutate the patient's physiology in order to vastly increase bone and muscle density, improve the subject's control over their own nervous system, alongside various other nasty things that could be considered analogous to torture with regards to the mind-breaking pain that may potentially be caused?"
Just as the other doctor began to open his mouth, Asuka interrupted him. "If you're going to tell me just how much of a bad idea this is, Faust, then shut it. I don't need a lecture on transhumanism from a goddamn necromancer. Stein, you have my freely given permission to transform me into a modified human."
Sighing, Johan Faust VIII replied, "Just for that, I'll see that you get one later. But no, I was just going to advise that you accept the anesthetic. That way, you'll –"
"No. I'll take the pain with the rest of it."
"Why? I swear, whether it's training, your education, or anything else, you always insist on doing things the hardest way possible! Why won't you just take the easy way, even once?"
A small part of her touched by her friend and guardian's concern, Asuka allowed a small smile to grace her features as she said, "Why, you ask? I will tell you exactly why I always do things in the most difficult way I can."
Her expression becoming one of grim resolve, she continued, "My entire life, up to this point, the people at NERV have been telling me that I am the best. That far and away, I am superior to anyone else with the potential to pilot. And I accepted that. I accepted it and just rode through on that alleged superiority, and then mother died. And then I learned the truth about Eva. I learned about the sacrifice that mother had to make for greatness, so that this disgusting world might have a chance at survival. And so I, too, will make a sacrifice for greatness. To protect those who are supposedly 'inferior' to me, I will sacrifice this perfectly working, flawless body for a more powerful one. If I must cast aside my emotions to gain greater control over my own movements, then so be it. Even if I should have to throw away my very soul, I would do it without hesitation. I will make any sacrifice that is asked of me in order to surpass mother's legacy. Why am I so obsessed with this, then? Tch. Someone's got to do it. Given I'm the one who's lost the most to Eva so far, I might as well take that and run with it. If I can become stronger through suffering, then there's no sense in making some other poor sap go through with it too."
Bowing his head in respect of Asuka's viewpoint, Stein had her strip to her undergarments and then lay on the cold, metal operating table.
"Johan, give me a hand with this."
With a reluctant sigh, Faust handed Stein the needle and solution before powering up a device off to the side.
Within seconds of the first injection, Asuka felt like her muscles were being on eaten from the inside out, like her blood itself had begun to boil.
That was when Faust administered an intense electrical shock to increase the strength of the numerous drugs that were being used.
For five days, the injections, shocks, and surgeries continued.
And through it all, Asuka Langley Sohryu refused to scream or cry out in pain, even once.
2009; Bay Tower Base – NERV-San Francisco, USA
After having become the official pilot of NK Zero-One, informally designated John Henry, Shinji and his parents had been escorted throughout various other sections of the base – partially so that in the event of an emergency, the young pilot would at least have a general idea of where to go, but most importantly to introduce him to the other staffers he'd be mostly working with.
Having first stopped by the infirmary, alternately called sickbay and/or the medical bay, Major Death the Kid presented the group to a brown-haired Japanese man with glasses and a pleasant smile. Making hand gestures to indicate who was who, Death said, "All right you three, this is our chief medical officer, doctor Shinra Kishitani. Shinra, this is our new pilot, Shinji Ikari and his parents, Adell and Rozalin."
Extending a hand to each of the Ikari clan, the good doctor said, "It's a pleasure to meet you all. So then, Evangelion pilot, or John Henry? Despite the speed with which it travels the rest of the base, news is usually pretty slow coming this way."
Shinji replied that he would be piloting the Neon Knight, while his mother Rozalin asked, "I'm sorry if this comes across as rude, but please tell me you're a normal person."
Though his simile never falter, Shinra hesitated just long enough for the Ikari parents to groan. Eventually, he abashedly said, "Well, I'd like to think that I'm at least relatively normal… compared to Major The Kid, certainly. But compared to the mean social norms of humanity…. Erm… Supposing that Subcommander Cid Raines is a one and Major The Kid is a ten, I guess I'm around a four on the abnormality scale. Still, it was a pleasure meeting you all. Oh yes, and Shinji, you'll need to have a physical scheduled."
As the Ikari family and their guide left the infirmary, Adell said, "You know, despite what that guy said, he actually seemed to be… you know, all there in the head."
Nodding, Death explained, "Well, I can tell you that he's certifiably mad in his own way, but not only is he an extremely competent doctor and surgeon with experience in numerous fields of medicine, his craziness is both harmless to other people and doesn't have anything to do with work anyway, so he counts as effectively normal for purposes of NERV. Now then, I've got three other people to introduce you to – two of whom Shinji's marksmanship and close-range combat instructors. After that, since your son has just become highly important to the survival of mankind, you all get a bodyguard. She's among the best in the business, and one of her skills is being unobtrusive in her client's daily life, kind of like a ninja in the movies. So it'll basically be business as usual right up until someone tries to make a move against you, at which point she comes out of nowhere and kicks their as-ymmetrical behind."
Having dodged the proverbial bullet from Shinji's parents by quickly correcting his language, Death led the group towards the gym, where they found an attractive woman with dark blonde hair, torn jeans, and a black button-up sleeveless vest dismantling and cleaning an assualt rifle.
Having heard the door open, the woman stopped what she was doing and sat up, turning to look at the others.
Pre-empting the Major, the woman extended a hand and a kind smile as she said, "I'm Aya Brea, resident firearms expert. So I'm guessing that you're the new pilot that Senator Teppelin said might join us?"
Nodding, Shinji shook her hand and replied, "That's right, I'm assigned to John Henry."
"I see. And you two must be his parents, am I right?"
Adell was the next to shake Aya's hand, and he said, "That's right, although I am kind of surprised that nobody's said anything about my wife or I. Not that I'm complaining, but how exactly are we authorized to even be here in the first place?"
At this point, Death the Kid said, "Allow me to explain that. You see, the reason that you and Rozalin are permitted to be here… is precisely because you are Shinji's parents, and that reason alone. Regardless of what you see in cartoons and anime and such, children are rarely able to keep secrets from their parents. Oh, I don't mean trifles like 'I have dirty magazines hidden in my sock drawer' or 'I go to the bathroom to smoke cigarettes in school with my buds', I mean important secrets, like the giant underwater base you're in, or the eventual invasion by extraterrestrial lifeforms."
Aya continued, "Most children would crack under that kind of pressure and spill it to their parents the moment it was too much to handle alone. Even if the child managed to keep him- or herself together, the majority of parents are not idiots, and can figure out the gist of it on their own. Rather than mess with the headaches that could spring from situations like that, the Commander decided that should we have a pilot-in-training on our hands below a certain age, we'll just get the parents involved as well from the get-go. Kid has ready emotional support from mum and dad, parents don't worry themselves to death fretting over the strange secret their kid's keeping from them."
Nodding, Rozalin said, "That's quite sensible, and it's rather considerate of Commander Farron."
Smiling softly, Aya replied, "Yeah, the Commander's not really one for secrets. Of course, we do what we can to make sure that sensitive information remains well-protected, but secrecy for its own sake will just piss her off. It's probably the biggest difference between her and that guy at the Japanese Branch, Commander Ikari."
Suddenly pausing, she hesitated before asking, "You wouldn't happen to be related, would you?"
Adell replied, "Brother-in-law. Although I don't hate him, we're not close at all, so he won't be getting any information from us."
The rest of the day was spent in a similar manner, essentially Shinji's orientation through the base, introductions to the staff he'd be primarily working with, and some preliminary training, after which the Ikaris were returned streetside, an unmarked black car waiting for them. Rolling down the window a few inches, the driver said, "Pleasure to meet you all. I'm your bodygaurd and Shinji's driver to and from the base."
From what Adell and Rozalin could see, the woman wore a well-pressed black suit and opaque sunglasses, her hair tied up under a hat. (1)
Rozalin asked the woman her name, but was met with silence. Resigned to a somewhat awkward ride home, Shinji and his parents got in the car and attempted to digest the situation that they were now in. After about ten minutes, Adell sighed and said, "Well, I guess I'd better ask the Chief to see about reducing my shift a bit."
Then, he smirked and said, "After all, I've gotta teach my boy how to kick giant alien butt."
Rolling her eyes but smiling all the same, Rozalin asked, "One favor, sweetie?"
Mildly surprised, Adell said, "Sure thing, what is it?"
Leaning to the side and hugging their adopted son, the buxom blonde teasingly replied, "Just don't let our baby turn into a battle maniac, 'kay?"
Shinji tried to get away from the fierce embrace, groaning, "Mom!"
2012; NERV-Pendragon, Britannian Empire
"On August 10 of four years ago, our great Holy Empire of Britannia sought to bring proper civilization and advancement to Area Eleven, an island on the far side of Asia. While the pitiful Elevens attempted in futility to cling to their antiquated ways, the gap in power was such that our mighty Empire conquered their land within a week. Now then, are there any questions?"
The Britannian history teacher looked over his class, not really having wanted to open the door he just had, but doing his job nonetheless. And, right on cue, a brown-haired eleven year-old girl with glasses shot her hand up and gave him a murderous glare.
Sighing, the man was tempted to ignore her, but on the incredibly off chance that it wasn't what he expected, he called on her anyway. "Yes, Mari Illustrious?"
Almost faster than the eye could see, her open palm became a fist and slammed down onto her desk – and today, she did so with enough force to make a spiderweb crack across the laminate surface. Her tone as respectful as she could manage, yet still openly furious, she demanded, "For the last time you douchebag, it's not Area Eleven – that country's name is JAPAN! The people are Japanese, NOT ELEVENS! And just where the FUCK do you get off calling us antiquated primitives when we were no more than four years behind the Americans in terms of technology, and we were catching up fast! AND FOR THE LAST TIME, MY NAME IS NOT MARI ILLUSTRIOUS! IT'S MAKINAMI!"
Reacquainting his palm and face for the day, the professor replied, "I'm sorry Miss Illustrious, but I am only authorized to teach the approved curriculum, and that states that whatever its people were called prior to colonization is irrelevant, because it's Area Eleven now, and its people share that name. Secondly, you will not use such language in my class, and if you do, I'll have you suspended. Even if you prefer your alternate name, you are officially registered as Illustrious, not Makinami. Finally, if you want to change what we teach, then why don't you go and take it up with the Emperor himself?"
At this point, Mari yelled out, "Fine then, I think I'll do just that! I'd rather be suspended – no, scratch that, expelled – than have to deal with your MOTHER-FUCK-ING BULLSHIT BRAINWASHING!"
His patience having worn out, the teacher roared, "MAKINAMI, OFFICE, NOW!"
Despite the problems she'd just created for herself, Mari could only smirk. Instantly switching her expression from berserker fury to sarcastic glee, she smugly remarked, "Yes sir, you wannabe slaver. I just want you to remember this day, teach. I want you to remember, until you die face-down in a gutter from AIDS, that on this day, you – a Britannian professor – lost to a Japanese schoolgirl. Thank you, fuck you, the star is out of here!"
Rising from her seat and storming out of the classroom, Mari forced herself to keep her head high. Inside, she thought, 'One day, I'll show you bastards what it feels like to have someone else violate your country's very soul.'
So caught up was she in her vindictive thoughts that she couldn't see where she was going, and walked headlong into another student three years older than she was. The other boy sneered and said, "Well if it isn't Little Miss Eleven."
'… … … … … To hell with this.'
Without missing a beat, she growled and drove her knee into his groin, causing him to instantly fall to the ground, writhing in pain. Not anywhere near finished, she kicked him in the face, dislocating his jaw and knocking a few teeth out.
As the boy got to his feet, he attempted to swing a punch at her in self-defense, only for Mari to effortlessly sidestep, open her mouth, and then bite down hard on his wrist, before driving her knee into his crotch once more, before giving him a series of four kidney punches, a left hook to the face, and then while the jerk was dazed, she removed her glasses before violently head-butting him into unconsciousness.
Then, the headmaster arrived. "Just what is the meaning of this, young lady?"
With a scowl, Mari hotly replied, "Bastard called me… that word. I'm in a decent mood after beating the history teacher today, so I went easy on him."
Eyes narrowing in suspicion, the middle-aged, wiry man replied, "If he called you something offensive, then you should have come to the faculty. Speaking of which, just what did he call you anyway? Which word did he use?"
Glaring in fury, the eleven year-old shot back, "Which one do you think? The one that goes between ten and twelve, of course."
Exasperated, the principal was about to speak when she interrupted him.
"Hey, words can seriously hurt, you know! How would you like it if I called you an uncle-fucking, kitten-raping, bleep-sucking pedophile who only works at a school so he can go full-pervert on all the little kids?"
The principal's response, after a lengthy pause, was to ask, "Just how on earth were exposed to that kind of subject matter in the first place, to go about throwing accusations like that?"
"Why the hell do you care? You're just a Britannian. Stupid assholes, all of you. I swear to God, the only decent Britannians I've ever met are freaking Schneizel, Cornelia, and Euphie. And those other two around my age that disappeared to somewhere, can't remember their names. There's no way in hell they're related to that fat bastard on the throne."
Enraged beyond reason upon hearing an insult to Emperor Charles zi Britannia, the principal slapped her and demanded, "Watch your tongue, half-blood!"
Smug, Mari replied, "So kind of you to acknowledge your superior, you thug. Clearly that extra half-Britannian in you all makes you more prone to breakdowns. That's three of you pure-bloods I've physically or verbally smacked around today."
Here, her face lit up with a dark smirk as she sarcastically gasped and asked, "Can you just imagine what I'd be capable of if I didn't have my Britannian half holding me back and destroying my potential?"
Forcing himself to regain a semblance of calm, the principal snarled, "You, child, do not appreciate the natural order of things."
Her counterattack already at hand, Mari shot back, "Of course I appreciate the natural order of things! The problem here, teach, is that the Britannian way of doing things IS IN DEFIANCE OF NATURE!"
Brushing it off, the man replied, "It doesn't matter what you think one way or the other, I suppose. The Emperor decides what is accepted as natural in Britannia, and you do not. In other words, child, what you believe is irrelevant."
Though she refused to show it, those five words cut deeply into her.
Though the principal did not realize it, he had stumbled upon a weapon that, against Mari, could be extremely effective and damaging.
A single tear fell from her eyes, and any remaining semblance of maturity vanished as she struggled to think of a comeback, uncaring of what it might be, knowing only that she had to somehow respond to such an affont, and therefore she blurted out the first thing that came to mind.
"YOUR MOTHER IS IRRELEVANT!"
Mari sat in Provisional Eva Unit-05's Entry Plug, giving her not-quite-friends-but-at-least-relatively-decent-enough-acquaintances Cornelia and Schneizel a recap of her day. In Mari's eyes, they had the slight virtue of – despite still being pro-Britannian/anti-everything-else racists – treating her with respect and making it clear that neither of them really gave a damn about the whole thing, just following along with the order established by The Emperor. Assholes on paper, as it were.
Cornelia slapped her own forehead in exasperation, muttering about how much of a handful Mari was when her temper flared, while Schneizel dispassionately offered, "While I realize that your feelings may have been hurt, you are the one who put someone in the hospital. Furthermore, haven't you realized that your open and unrestrained defiance of all authority only reinforces the majority belief that your people are uncivilized barbarians?"
Sighing, Mari said, "Look, I'll admit that I went a little overboard and that my anger management skills aren't worth a rat's ass-"
Cutting in, Schneizel added, "Your tendency towards foul language excessive for your age doesn't help either."
Glaring at the aloof Britannian, though without the hatred she reserved for most others, Mari continued, "aren't worth a damn, but I don't openly defy all authority – just the racist punks that make up 95% of the Britannians I've met so far. Which is really damn weird, since the only open-minded Brits I can remember meeting are you two, Euphie, and those two other siblings, whatstheirnames. You know, Marianne's kids?"
Turning to the ground, Cornelia reminded, "Lelouch and Nunnaly."
Frowning a moment, Mari said, "Yeah, it's a total shame your dad had their mom killed and then shipped 'em off to JAPAN."
When the royal children didn't correct her with regards to Japan's designation or about her pet conspiracy theory, Mari's expression softened a bit as she continued, "They seemed to be pretty chill about this crap – heck, out of all you royal brats, they were probably the ones I would've rather seen ascend to the throne. Seemed like they probably would've changed this craptastic empire of yours into something worthy of respect. Now it probably falls to Euphemia. Still can't believe an utter monster like Emperor Chuckles had as many nice kids as he did, much less a psuedo-messiah like Euphie. Or even apathetic kids, in the case of you two. No idea how the hell you're related to that fat bastard."
Narrowing his eyes, Schneizel said, "Even if you don't care for your Emperor, one would think that you'd know better than to speak ill of a friend's father in the presence of said friend. Particularly when the father of said friend is also the Emperor."
Shrugging, Mari said, "He's not my Emperor. I'm a citizen of Japan until I decide otherwise, and I shouldn't have to respect a ruler who does a crap job of ruling. As for your supposed relation to Chuckles, I don't see what the big deal is. I mean, even if he actually somehow is your father, I've never once heard either of you call him dad. And if you actually had, then it'd be another story, and I might not rail on him as much. … Nah, I'd still rail on him just as much as now, I just wouldn't do it in earshot of you guys so much. But since there's no apparent emotional connection, then as far as I care he's your glorified babysitter."
Eyes twitching, Schneizel could only say "Mari Illustrious Makinami, you are certifiably insane."
Exaggerating a blush, she replied, "Aw, really? I was hoping you'd notice one of these days."
Then, Mari offered, "You know, if my utter madness is really that big of a problem to you guys, you could always have me and Unit-05 transferred over to the States. You get me out of your hair, I get a government I can respect, and your hated enemy the Yanks get to deal with a crazy person."
Suspicious, Cornelia said, "You've brought that up literally every single day since Unit-05 was completed, without failure. Why do you really want to get out of Britannia so badly?"
Rolling her eyes at the duo on her screen, Mari sniped, "Gee whiz Batman, let me see: 1) your country pretty much anally raped mine to death and then threw a frat party on the broken corpse, 2) racial discrimination and segregation are not only official policy here, but are treated as moral responsibility, particularly when I define myself as part of a racial group that is extremely discriminated against, 3) I literally hate every living creature on these islands that I have so far encountered aside from you two, Euphie, and the late Marianne and her kids, 4) the feeling's pretty damn mutual. From there, looking at it from a practical standpoint, the Angels are predicted to arrive in either Tokyo-3 or in San Francisco. Logically – though why I use that word in the presence of Britannians who aren't Schneizel, I couldn't say – it's only common sense to put a self-confessed Blood Knight with an Angel-killing superweapon closer to where the Angels are supposed to land. If the Angels land in Tokyo-3, I'll be way closer to where the action is and can get there to help out sooner. If they show up in San Fran, I'm pre-equipped and located to kick some ass. But my final, and above all most important reason, is deeply personal and therefore not one whit of your goddamn business."
The last part had been uttered with a much fiercer tone than Cornelia and Schneizel had been accostumed to even from Mari, and ultimately decided to leave that particular issue alone.
With a plastered-on smile and an overly sweetened voice, Mari mockingly concluded, "I think that's everything, mmkay?"
That very same day, the entire Pendragon NERV branch worked to make sure that the transfer papers were filed quickly and appropriately.
Turns out that as badly as Mari wanted to get out of Britannia, Britannian wanted even less to do with Mari.
Emperor Charles zi Britannia had dealt with enough harassment from that little girl, and given how stupidly close the UN was keeping watch on the Children, he couldn't exactly deal with her as he would an ordinary citizen.
'Damn that Gendo Ikari… how on Earth did he incur enough favor with the Instrumentality Committee to get them to completely overlook how he's been brainwashing that Ayanami girl? Hmph. For an Eleven, the Commander of the Tokyo-3 Branch is quite the worthy opponent.'
Upon receiving word of her transfer with Unit-05, the Fourth Child's response had been reportedly something along the lines of "YES YES YES YES YES I'M SO HAPPY I COULD KISS CORNELIA!"
Seeing the scowl on the Second Princess's face, however, she decided not to and instead turned to the thirteen year-old Euphemia and planted a big wet one on her lips that lasted for five seconds. Quite worryingly, one of the Knights present mentioned that he thought the Princess was starting to get kind of into it before Mari broke off.
The Emperor had ordered Captain Guame to be promptly shot and then used as food for the royal goldfish under the care of Prince Clovis.
2012; path to Shinji's school – San Francisco, California, USA (one month later)
Walking together as they often did, Shinji Ikari and Gate Thompson were discussing things on the way to school, generally along the lines of who would win in an all-out brawl between Solid Snake, Batman, Hulk Hogan, and Presidential candidate Simon "the Digger" Teppelin.
Shinji asked, "So does Senator Teppelin get Lagann?"
"If he did, he'd be too awesome for the others to stand a chance. Even Batman can't prepare for a force of nature as badass as Simon the Digger in his mecha. Well, the Adam West version probably could, but we're using the Batman from The Dark Knight trilogy."
Just before Shinji could reply, a feminine voice called out from behind them.
Surprised, Shinji Ikari immediately turned around to face whomever was speaking to him…
And almost before he realized it, a cute girl his age with brown hair, glasses, and an impressive chest for her age had locked lips with him, taking a second or two to explore his mouth with her tongue.
Soon enough, she released her hold on the stunned young man as she licked her lips and said with an arrogant smirk, "Seeya later, stud."
With that, the hyperactive, slightly red-faced girl left, almost skipping off in the same direction that the two boys were headed in.
It took a full five seconds before Shinji's brain finally managed to boot itself back up.
'Weird girl shows up out of nowhere and, with practically no warning at all, kisses me. … NO FREAKING WAY.'
As the realization dawned upon him, Shinji began to laugh. At first, it was a low chuckle, before growing into a full-bodied laugh so fierce that Shinji had to lean on his friend to keep from falling on his ass.
Concerned, Gate thought to himself, 'Holy crap I've never seen him laugh this hard. I… I think she broke him somehow!'
What he said, however, was "You were already the coolest friend I could' ve asked for… and then you pull a stunt like this on me. I am officially unworthy to stand in your presence. BRO. FIST."
The two friends lightly bumped their fists once Shinji regained his composure, though he asked, "Okay, now that I'm calm enough to pay attention, what's this about you mistaking me for being cool?"
Shaking his head, Gate replied, "No mistakes about it, dude. Total babe neither of us has seen before glomps you out of nowhere, then starts skipping off towards our own school? What this means, my friend, is that we have a new transfer student of some sort, and she's already got the hots for you before her first day here has officially begun. Where're my cute girls coming to glomp me out of nowhere? Heck, I'd be ecstatic if a mildly attractive young lady walked up and said hi."
Shrugging, Shinji could only apologize and say, "Actually, if that girl is whom I very strongly suspect her to be, then we already have a prior history of sorts. If I'm right in who I remember her to be… then what just happened is more a result of her being crazy than me being in any way cool."
Nodding, Gate said, "I see. So… if it's not too embarassing, mind if you told me what kind of history you two have?"
His mind still a few miles away in memoryland, Shinji replied, "She walked up and proposed to me when we were four and then kissed me on the lips."
Looking at his friend and then at the girl's now-distant back, Gate shook his head and said, "Well for your sake, I dearly hope she hasn't turned into some kind of psychotic stalker since then. That would royally suck, you know? Grew up to be a massive hottie, though."
Chuckling nervously, Shinji said, "Somehow I doubt that's the case, but I hope so too."
With that, the pair of friends went on into their school.
Just before they parted ways to go to their separate homerooms, though, Gate said, "You're still the coolest dude I know, though."
Just moments after the bell to be seated rang, their teacher declared, "We have a transfer student coming in today. Please introduce yourself, Miss Makinami."
With an arrogant smirk, the young woman from before proceeded to strut through the classroom door and up to the board, where gripped a piece of chalk and in large, exaggerated motions, wrote out her name upon it. Then, she rapidly turned on the back of her heel to face the class, sunlight glinted off of her glasses as her twin ponytails whipped around her face from inertia.
Her smirk morphing into an all-out grin, the girl dramatically drew her hand over her impressive (for a twelve-year-old) chest as she said, "Mari. Illustrious. Makinami. Starstruck, right?"
Um… yeah. So then… Asuka is a fusion of herself, canon Shinji, and canon Rei? Rei herself has yet to make an appearance, despite her massive fandom?
And now a reply to someone who won't let me PM them!
Xenoguyver: I'd forgotten to mention it, but yeah, Shinji's speech in the last chapter is best if you have "Yuusha-Oh Tanjou!" playing as background music, although it won't be quite fitting for all of his fights. As for that other thing, I will instead have Shinji knowingly reference a different anime for his Hot Blooded Finishing Move. Hammer-oriented, of course.
Also, the omake here is canon, as will most other omake be. It's not necessarily plot-relevant, just a peek into the daily lives of the characters and also into the world of Neon Knights. And this little short is absolutely not the Disgaea equivalent of DOUBLE K.
As Adell entered the police station, he was greeted with a wave by his best friends on the force – a man with long, dark blue hair and a short, flat-chested blonde who looked like she was fifteen.
The trio were also the only three members of the department that were completely straight-laced. Everyone else was so corrupt that it wrapped all the way around the morality gauge and became legitimate.
"Hey there! Mao over at forensics finished up the DNA tests from that murder the other night, and he wants you to go collect the results in person."
Rolling his eyes, Adell briefly thought to himself about how both the San Francisco Police Department and NERV-America were run by crazy people.
"Thanks Almaz, but I need to have a talk with the boss first. I'll go check it out afterward."
The woman, Flonne, said, "I don't know if that's such a good idea, he's still asleep right now…"
With a brief facepalm, Adell groaned and said, "Goddamnit. Okay, one of you find me the C-4, I'll wake him up."
After having the second-in-command pick the lock on the door to the Chief's rather spacious office, Adell duct taped the plastic explosive to his boss's face, then went back out and triggered the detonator.
The explosion was immediately drowned out by a roar as the inhabitant of that office picked up his desk and threw it at the first person he could see. The attack was ineffective, however, as Adell immediately intercepted the flying projectile and shattered it into countless splinters with a single punch.
And then, unscathed save for a just-barely charred eyebrow, the half-pint tyrant of the SFPD emerged, disproportionate broadsword in hand. With a furious glare, he cast his gaze about the office, cowing his numerous and terrified subordinates into submission as he snarled, "What fool DARES to awaken the great Police Chief Laharl?"
[cue "Ode to King Laharl" instrumental version, Disgaea Hour of Darkness]