A/N:This is the long over due sequel to 'Would You?' It has been living in my head and hard drive for too long because it just keeps getting longer and longer. This finished product will be 5 or 6 chapters long, but I'm uploading the first 3 now.
This is the product of having Darren Criss live in my head for 2 months (the boy has alot to say).
It takes place directly after 'Would You?' but because I've been busy it no longer follows real time. Not as fluffy as my other stuff (some angst sorry) and very little smut (only chapter 4). But I hope you enjoy it any way.
Disclaimer: I do not own Glee or any of its characters and this is purely fiction and purely for fun.
Darren sunk into the couch in his trailer – his trailer – he was a regular now and this was one of the perks. The last three weeks had been a blur of activity: the premier, live streams, getting scripts, promo shoots, flying to Chicago for Market Days, starting to film Season three and Chris. Chris. Chris. His heart fluttered and he couldn't help but smile. If someone had told him a year ago he would be a regular on one of the biggest TV phenomenons ever and be in love with a guy he would have laughed and made them take a blood test to find out what drugs they were on.
"How did I get here?" He said out loud, flowed quickly by "Thank you". He knew there was a greater power out there, and even with his Catholic upbringing, he had yet to narrow it down to a name or definite religion where he felt totally comfortable. But he was grateful. Whether it was because of fate, hard work or just plain good luck, he had everything he wanted right now …and a few things he didn't.
And right now one of those things he didn't want was a headache. Darren winced at the pain behind his eyes. He had just eaten a sandwich from the commissary and had followed it with two Tylenol and a very sweet cup of coffee. All he wanted was to go home and sleep. mmm sleep. He had been running on empty for over a week
Okay maybe it was his fault, maybe he should have gotten some sleep in Chicago, but who was he kidding, when he was around Joey and Lauren and the rest of his college friends sleep was the last thing on his to-do list. The only thing that would have made it better would have been if Chris was there. If Chris was there he would have definitely made time for sleep, okay maybe not sleep, but they would have made it to bed. But Chris couldn't juggle his schedule enough – he was still working on post production for Struck by Lightning, so Darren was on his own.
Chris had dropped him off at the airport and they had texted each other like teenage girls and called each other multiple times a day. Darren smiled. Chris had even called while he was performing Teenage Dream on stage – like he was psychic or something. Darren joked when the phone rang and brushed it off, passing the buck and making it his bands fault but part of him felt like everyone knew who was calling and another part of him felt like he wanted everyone to know. He was in a relationship with the sweetest, most talented and hottest, we can't forget 'hottest', person on the planet and he wanted everyone to know. And then again he didn't. When it was just him and Chris is was so simple, so perfect, going public would surely ruin it. Wouldn't it?
Two days without Chris was two days too much. He caught the red eye Sunday night and both he and Chris almost decided to call in 'sick' on Monday; the key word being almost because neither he nor Chris felt like getting on Ryan's bad side this early in the season. So Monday was business as usual and five days later he was spent. He pressed the heels of his hands to his eyes. He only wanted one thing right now to sleep in his bed with Chris in his arms. He sighed. Warm bed and warm Chris. That was definitely the only thing on his agenda for tonight.
There was a knock on his trailer door, and before he could answer, Chris was stepping inside. Maybe stepping was too subtle of a word. Chris was bouncing. Like the Tigger to my Winnie. Darren looked down at his chest for a moment wondering absently if he and Chris had switched bodies. He was usually bouncing off the walls, floating in the air and Chris was his tether to earth. He had never seen the young man so excited.
Chris came over to the couch and draped himself over Darren, chest to chest, hips aligned, entangling his legs with the older man's as if he had been doing this all his life and not just the last three weeks. Darren smiled as Chris' head found the crook of his neck and he laid the softest of kisses there. "Hey baby" Chris whispered in his ear and Darren groaned as he felt the heat rise in his hips. Chris knew what he was doing and he did it very well. Damn him – all he wanted to do was sleep.
But Darren's mind wandered. Flashbacks of the last three weeks filled his thoughts. Three weeks he would not have traded for all the fame and riches in the world. Chris in Darren's arms. Chris in Darren's bed. Darren on Chris' couch. Three weeks of pushing boundaries and sweet nothings and the most mind-blowing orgasms he has ever had. This was love. This was it. The stuff of fairy tales and legend. It was beautiful and scary and it was just beginning. Oh, how he wanted the 'happily ever after'.
Chris was still kissing Darren's neck his intentions as clear the hardness pressed against Darren's front pocket. Darren blushed. They had explored so many feelings in the last month. Finally getting around to when, and why and how. Boy and how. To be quite honest Darren was amazed how safe and right he felt in Chris' arms, …in Chris' bed …letting himself explore and be explored. They shared so many firsts together…and seconds …and thirds.
Darren groaned at the memories and at the boy who had moved to his jaw line. This was so new to both of them and they had made an unspoken decision not to rush. But taking their 'sweet time' was not what Darren wanted right now; he wanted it all. He wanted Chris in a way he had never wanted another human being. He wanted to do things to Chris that he was ashamed to say out loud, but it didn't stop him from wanting to do it all the more.
There was still a bridge to cross, one final barrier that they had not yet dared to break through. Oh, there had been some penetration but not with the part of Darren that craved Chris the most when he was panting and sweating underneath him. He wasn't sure who was holding who back from the edge of the cliff, but somehow they always stopped short of jumping. And god damn it Darren wanted to jump!
Darren found Chris' mouth crashing their faces together, grinding his hips into the younger man's - headache all but forgotten. He wrapped himself around Chris' body, …in Chris' scent, …in Chris' love and let himself just be in the moment.
"I want to show you something." Chris was whispering in his ear.
"You show me yours and I'll show you mine" Darren purred back, again seeking Chris' mouth.
Chris giggled and pushed up a little from the couch so he could look at Darren. "No, seriously I want to show you something."
Darren grabbed Chris' hips, ground against them and said "I seriously want to show you something too."
Exasperated Chris sighed and got up. Darren moaned at the loss of contact and warmth. "Let's take a drive." It was a statement, not a question.
"Chris, I'm really tired, I just wanted to go home and get in bed … and I was hoping you'd come over later."
"Dar, that sounds like the perfect plan, but I need to show you something. I've been waiting all week. Baby …please." Chris fixed his blue eyes on Darren and made the perfect pout. "Please."
Darren was an easy target, a love sick sap. He rolled his eyes and pushed up from the couch. "Only because it's you" he said and Chris knew he meant it, but he was happy he got his way just the same.
"Oh …before we go, I have something for you." Chris reached into his satchel and pulled out a black box almost as big as his palm. It was a garage door opener.
Darren took the box and turned it over in his hands, brows slightly furrowed. Now that he had nothing to distract him, his headache was coming back. "It's a remote" Chris stated simply. Duh thought Darren, but he was not about to let his boyfriend, his boyfriend – cue stomach flutters – get off so easy.
"What does it do?" Darren asked innocently, aiming it at Chris. "Turn you on, turn you off, change the volume?" He was trying his best to keep a straight face.
"A comedian…" Chris quipped, "I'm in love with a comedian." It wasn't the first time Chris had told Darren he loved him, but it was still new enough for Darren's heart to skip a beat. He took a step towards Chris and wrapped his arms around the taller man.
"Well, this comedian loves you too, but could we go for that drive because I want to get home so I can make love to my boyfriend …I wouldn't wanna miss his call."
Chris shoved Darren. For some strange reason they did a lot of shoving …and pushing …and pulling … and what were they doing again. Oh yeah talking. Right. "Yeah, …I'd hate for you to miss his call. Let's go." Chris grabbed his keys and headed for his car. Answering Darren's unspoken thoughts he said "We can come back later and pick your car up".
Darren was dizzy and his head ached. He looked at his watch – twenty-five minutes – they had been driving for twenty-five minutes – it felt like five hours. They had made small talk, listened to the radio, but Darren's head was making it hard to concentrate. And it felt like they were just going around and around. What the hell were they doing in Laurel Canyon of all places? Before he could ask, Chris spoke.
"We're here! …You're up." Darren started blankly at Chris. It wasn't the environment or the drive, he just didn't feel good. He should have insisted on going straight home.
"Wha…?" Darren managed.
"The remote silly" chastised Chris. Darren looked down at the forgotten remote in his hands and followed Chris' gaze. To his left was a boxy blue building. He just sat and stared. Chris grabbed the remote, aimed it at the two car garage and the white doors came to life.
The next thing he knew Darren was being dragged into the house by one very giddy Chris Colfer.
"This is the living room" Chris beamed. Darren glanced around, lips pursed and nodded.
"Okay …Why are we here?"
"Because I wanted to show you this house" Chris was grinning from ear to ear. Darren was to out of it to put two and three together. So he let Chris drag him from room to room.
They started off on the main floor. It was open concept: living room on one side opening up to the kitchen and L-shaped island. "Cherry wood" Chris said as he caressed the cabinet doors. Upstairs there was a Master Bedroom with en suite "and huuuge closet", a second bath and bedroom, where Chris asked if he like the view. Then they went down two flights. The space below the living area was undivided. It was below street level in the front, but open in the back where the canyon fell away. There was a wet bar and bathroom on this level as well. Chris dragged him out onto the balcony.
"Down here is like its own separate apartment, you could have all personal space you want but just wander upstairs if you felt like hangin' out." Chris eyed him earnestly.
All Darren could do was squint. The sun was not helping. He walked back inside. Okay that was a little better. Well not much better. Darren was confused. What the hell were they doing here? "I need some water" he said, mouth tasting like cotton.
Chris took his hand and led him back upstairs. Darren made a little jump and slid himself onto the counter at the far end of the kitchen. He needed to sit down and this was the best he could find. Chris was randomly opening cabinets looking for a glass. He lucked out and found a pack of plastic cups, probably from one of the open houses. He filled a cup and passed it to Darren, who he had to admit, didn't look very well. Chris felt kinda guilty that he did not notice it before. He was just too excited. Hell …he was still excited.
"So…what do you think?" Chris ventured.
" 'bout what?" Darren said wanting to lean back but finding cabinets in the way.
" 'bout the house. …My house."
Darren sat up straight and opened his eyes. "Your house. You bought a house?"
"Yup" Chris was grinning like the cat who ate Pavarotti.
"Why didn't I know, and when and why …oh my head" Darren slumped back. He was so tired and his head hurt god damn it. God damn it Chris bought a house. He kept this shit from him. God damn it. "I wanna go home" Darren said as calmly as he could.
Chris all but ignored Darren's request and started on what sounded to Darren like a rehearsed speech.
"Please don't be mad Dar, I wanted to tell you. Then, I wanted it to be a surprise. I didn't know we were gonna be an 'us'. It's not like I told everyone." Darren just squinted trying to process Chris' words.
"Let me start over…" Chris walked up to Darren and took his free hand. "I've been looking for a place for a while. Apartment living isn't my thing. I started closing on the house in May." Darren's mouth dropped open in disbelief. "Well my parents and I started closing, since I was too young to sign by myself and they were still in charge of my trust. So me, my parents and my trust bought a house." Chris let out a nervous laugh. "We put the down payment on the house – but the mortgage, well… that's all mine. Aren't you happy for me? …It's perfect. It's on a dead end street so only residents come this far in. I really hoped you would like it." Chris was trying so hard to say the right things, but if the look on Darren's face was any indication, he was failing miserably.
"What do you think?" It was an innocent enough question, but Chris was dying inside. He wanted validation, he wanted confirmation, he wanted Darren to see where he was going with this. Where and how he wanted things to go, to progress, to be.
"I wanna go home" Darren was talking to the floor. He had been holding his head for the better part of Chris' 'speech'.
"Don't you have anything to say?" Chris regretted the words as soon as they left his mouth.
"Not right now. My head hurts. Please take me home Chris. We can discuss this later 'kay".
"Okay … I understand you don't feel well. I'm sorry I dragged you out here."
"Don't be sorry … I'm just not up for this right now." Darren was trying to be a supportive boyfriend, but he was hurt he couldn't help it. He also couldn't help what his mouth said next.
"What were you thinking …It's so far away from …everything."
"No its not" Chris countered "– it only took us twenty five minutes to get here from work."
"But it's so far away from your apartment, …my apartment, …the clubs. I won't be able to just swing by like I do." Darren was trying unsuccessfully not to whine and was confused when Chris' face light up like he just saw Santa Claus.
"But I have something that can help" Chris said – way too cheerily than Darren liked or understood.
"A transporter?" Darren was hopeful for one unrealistic second. And hearing the fun in Darren's voice, even if it was for only a moment, spurred Chris to make his next move.
Chris opened the one of the cupboard doors and pulled out a velvet blue case. The type nice jewelry comes in. Darren was more than a little inquisitive. Plus he was amazed at how the anger and hurt he was feeling earlier where not his main focus any more. Wow, love really is a marvelous thing. There has to be a song there he thought.
My god how he wanted to make his boyfriend happy. Darren would have been jumping up and down like a school girl with Chris in his living room if not for this god forsaken headache and something else hidden way in the back of his head he just could not put his finger on. Darren wanted to be a good boyfriend, a good friend – Chris needed that right now. He could see how Chris really needed that.
"Before you say anything" Darren began, eyeing the jewelry case and mentally giving himself a pat on the back for being unselfish and trying to rescue this moment with Chris. "I just want to remind you that I am very high maintenance and that anything less than two carats just won't do." It didn't come out as flirty and fun as he had hoped but he still gave himself an 'A' for effort.
The smile on Chris's face was worth a hundred carats and for the first time since they had crossed the threshold into the house Darren thought that they may get out unscathed, hell - maybe even better then when they went in.
"I hope you'll like it better than jewelry" Chris said as he handed the case to Darren. "You can open it now. You don't have to do anything this time. You've already earned it." Darren smiled and looked down at his ring and spun it with his thumb, the ring Chris gave him the day they became a 'we', an 'us'.
Hesitantly Daren opened the case, what he saw inside made his pulse race. The pounding in his head was back. He was dizzy again. But he wasn't quite sure if it was the gift or the throbbing behind his eyes that was the cause. He took the object out and held it in his palm, absentmindedly tracing the edge with his fingers.
"Its for the front door" Chris blurted out. "They gave me two at closing – that ones yours." Darren's eyes were watering, so much fear and pain and hurt and none of it had anything to do with the pounding in his head.
Darren was not going to jump to conclusions. He had done that with the ring assuming the entwined letters were for Darren and Chris. He still felt a little foolish when he thought of it, he felt like he always wanted this, what they had, more than Chris did. And he did not want to push and make Chris uncomfortable.
"What's it for?"
"For the front door" Chris repeated.
Obviously Darren was not being clear enough. "Why do I have a key for your front door?"
Chris did not expect the question. He had an answer but his mouth and his heart had rendered him mute. What was he supposed to say? Could he actually say what he felt? Move in with me. Share my life. Be my Prince Charming and we can live happily ever after. My god that's something a sixteen year old would say – a sixteen year old girl.
But why couldn't he say it. In the last four weeks he had shared so much of himself with Darren, learning to ask for what he wanted. Begging on occasion. And in several rare instances taking matters into his own hands when the need arose. But this was not Chris's bedroom, this was a kitchen in Laurel Canyon and he was not certain the same rules applied here.
"It's so you can come and go as you want." Chris had found his voice, but not his nerve. "That way I don't have to let you in if you come by after a show."
"So this is a booty call key?" Darren sounded exasperated.
"No, no, no… well I'm not saying it can't be used like that" Shut up, Chris he thought. "It's so you can have free access to the house, if you wanna store some of you stuff here, or hang out. …It's whatever you want it to be. …Mi casa es su casa."
Just say it Chris, just say it.
"Hell …I have so much space, you could move in down stairs and I probably wouldn't even notice" There I said it, kind of. Chris eyed Darren nervously.
"So you want me to move in downstairs?" Darren had stopped feeling and thinking. But he had a bad taste in his mouth. He slipped off the counter, slipping the key into his pocket, and started to refill his cup at the sink on the island. "I'm ready to go home." It was a statement. Darren was done talking for the night. Truth be told he did not know what he wanted Chris to say and honestly he did not see this scenario at all two hours ago. He started walking towards the door.
"Dar, …it's anything you want it to be. …I don't know what you want me to say." And for the first time in, well …forever, Darren did not want to hear Chris say anything. He wanted to go home and forget this night ever happened, but he knew he would not be that lucky.
Ten minutes into the silent drive back into town, Darren had informed Chris that he didn't need his car and to please take him straight home. As they approached Darren's building, the older man began to unbuckle his seat belt.
"I've still got to find parking" Chris began.
"Don't bother…just drop me off."
" – But"
Darren cut him off as Chris rolled to a stop in front of his apartment. "Chris, I'm tired and my head is fucking killing me. We'll talk later okay." And more out of force of habit than anything else, he leaned over, placed his hand on Chris' knee and gave him a quick kiss on the cheek.
"I've got meetings all day tomorrow, how about after …I come over…" Chris was wondering if Darren could hear his heart or the fear in his voice. What was going on? What had he done so wrong?
"Sorry, …can't, …playing the Mint tomorrow" Darren was closing the car door.
"How bout after…"
"I'll call you…" Darren said the words over his shoulder, not looking back. Chris told himself that he just had to keep it together for twenty more seconds, once he had passed Darren's building he could cry as much as he wanted. And boy did he cry.
Once inside his apartment, Darren headed straight for the medicine cabinet. Three, yes three, Excedrin and a cup of instant hot chocolate later he flopped onto the couch, thoughts swirling. So many different emotions he could not name them. But one stood out in his head. LIAR. He was a liar. He had lied to himself. He knew exactly what he wanted Chris to say: Move in with me. Share my bed. I can't live without you. I want the fairy tale with you.
Darren rubbed his hands through his hair and wondered just when did he become a teenage girl, so needy and lust filled. And his mind kept coming back to Chris. Chris. Everything he had always wanted, always dreamed of could be found in the younger boys eyes. He sighed. It wasn't that bad right, Chris understood that he just need space, time and to have a clear head. Darren wasn't sure, but Darren hoped.
Darren's phone beeped. He lunged for it, checking the time. Chris would be home by now.
There it was a text message from Chris: Are we having a fight? – CC
Darren replied immediately: NO this is not a fight. I'm just tired, head hurts. – DC
Feels like a fight – CC
It's not. I'll call you. G'nite – DC
Darren wanted to call Chris right now and tell him how sorry he was and to get his tight porcelain ass over to his place ASAP. But Darren was honest with himself. He was not in the mood to be funny or flirty or lovey right now. He however was in the mood to pout and so he did, falling asleep on the couch. No warm bed. No warm Chris.
Less than ten blocks away, Chris sat on the edge of his couch nursing a headache of his own and chastising himself for letting yet another man make him cry. But Darren wasn't just another man. Darren was the only man. Darren was the one. He hoped deep inside that this was just a misunderstanding and tomorrow everything would go back to normal.
After Darren's last text he had wanted to reply with "when" but he didn't want to sound needy, which in all honesty he was. He had to distract himself. He needed someone who would talk him down. He needed Ashley.