This was supposed to be a drabble but then it got out of hand. WHOOPS.
Requested by Jncera, my new bro.
Disclaimer: I don't own these poor saps.
EDIT: Oh, boy, you guys; I even got a troll in the reviews for this! This is such a big honor! :D
"I don't see what's so great about Roy's arms…"
Artemis had been walking past the computer lab with every intention of returning to her room and plowing through the sleeve of Oreos that she'd taken from Wally's secret stash behind the microwave, but the sound of those words stopped her. She paused and took two steps backward, stopping in front of the open doorway with an eyebrow raised. Wally and Robin were both huddled around one of the monitors, and she couldn't help noticing that their posture was terrible. Whether it was her desire to correct this or her curiosity in regard to the snippet of conversation she'd heard that made her enter the room was beyond her.
"What are you guys doing?" she asked, and her head whipped in Wally's direction. "And what are you muttering about?"
Wally, slouching grouchily into his shoulders, turned his head up toward her with a blatant pout on his freckled face. She had to resist the urge to laugh.
"Apparently," Robin said with mischievous wickedness, a smirk going up into his sunglasses, "the Internet is hot for Roy's arms."
"Smart Internet," Artemis observed offhandedly, then frowned. "Wait. Where did you hear this?"
"There's this thing that Rob found," Wally grumbled, "called, like… Tum-blarr, or something. I've never heard of it."
"But it's heard of us," Robin said, obviously enjoying himself far too much.
"Back me up here, Artemis," Wally exclaimed, gesticulating. "Roy's arms are not the stuff of legend."
"Obviously not, Baywatch, because they're real, and that's even better." Artemis smirked. Wally's cheeks puffed indignantly.
"There's all kinds of great stuff on here," Robin said with a gleeful snicker. "They love us."
"But mostly they love Roy," Wally muttered bitterly. Artemis flicked him in the ear and he yelped.
"What is all this?"
The three turned, startled, to see Kaldur standing behind them, raising his eyebrows.
"Kaldur!" Wally cried. "Maybe you can clear this up. There's this website, see, called Tum-blerr, and it seems to think that Roy's arms—"
"Dude, dude!" Robin shouted, shaking Wally's shoulder a bit too hard. The speedster's cries of protest were garbled with motion. "Here's something else! F-fanfics? Fanfiction? Ooh. Looks pressive."
"What voodoo word is that?"
"Impressive. Why can't anything just be pressive? What's with the need for 'im' and 'in' and 'un' and 'non?'"
"Okay, shut up. Next subject. What's this fanfiction stuff?"
"Ooh!" a voice cried from behind them, and they all jumped. M'gann came flouncing happily into the room, popping her head between Wally and Artemis. "Are you on Tumblr?"
Wally stared at her as though an arm had just sprouted from her ear.
"You know it?" he shouted.
"Sure!" she replied happily. "I have one! They're all so nice on Tumblr; they write stories about us, and draw pictures, and sometimes they—"
"Whoa, whoa, slow down," Artemis said, putting her hands up. "Stories? You haven't… read any of them, have you?"
"Well, of course I have." She giggled behind her hand. "Except for the ones where Wally and Robin—"
"NO. DON'T EVEN FINISH THAT SENTENCE." Wally threw his hands over his ears. "I ALREADY KNOW HOW IT'LL END. JUST BY LOOKING AT SOME OF THESE FREAKS."
"Wally," M'gann said indignantly, and Wally withered.
"Hey, there's videos of us, too!" Robin said, grinning evilly. "Whoa, check out this one! robinluvzbatgirl or somebody made one called 'This is War.' Dude! Dude! This is pendous! And hey, hey, look at this one! Hah! Somebody called YoungTitan213 made one with you and me and Artemis to Lady Gaga!"
"Wh—" Wally seemed close to a coronary. "Where did they get footage of us."
"What, um," Artemis asked as Kaldur leaned over with hesitant curiosity to look at the monitor, through which Robin was happily scrolling. "What exactly do you do on it?"
"Oh, it's so much fun, and so addicting," M'gann gushed. "I don't do a lot; I mostly reblog, and sometimes I track the tags about us or communicate with the RP accounts and read the secrets blogs—"
"What." Wally sounded as if he was on the verge of tears. "What language are you even speaking."
"Wally, you'd love it! Especially the troll secrets!" M'gann squealed, and Wally pretended to be bowled over by her enthusiasm.
This piqued Kaldur's interest.
"Troll secrets?" he repeated slowly, as though he hadn't heard her properly.
M'gann nodded hugely, beaming. "They say I'm a weak character, but it's funny because I'm not and they're being ironic!" She turned to Wally. "They also say you don't like magic because you're a Weasley and are secretly embarrassed! So you have a fan nickname, Wally Weasley, and it's even better and funnier when all the anons think the blog is serious and take offense to the secrets and correct the other anons and the mods because—"
"I AM NOT A WEASLEY."
Artemis was laughing far too hard for it to be comfortable.
"Wally Weasley. Oh my God. It's sticking."
"Please no," Wally moaned, putting his head in his hands.
"Oh, and then there's the shippers!" M'gann continued enthusiastically. All heads turned to her in bewilderment.
"They have boats on this thing, too?" Wally shouted. Artemis hit him upside the head.
"Don't be stupid; it's obviously slang."
"What exactly are these things you call shippers?" Kaldur asked, calmly interested. M'gann smiled (her freckles sprayed up).
"Well, they all seem to be stating who they want to get together with who, romantically, I mean, and they write about it and draw pictures, like I said! And everyone seems to like me and Superboy! They put a little forward slash between the names if it's a ship; like, if they want those two people involved in a relationship."
Wally went rigid and pale.
"Why," he said, keeling over.
"Sometimes we get a lot of hate, too – well, mostly me, because everyone thinks I'm a Mary Sue, but I don't care, because there are just as many people who like me! They all say they think it's annoying when I say 'Hello, Megan!', so I'm going to do it more, just to 'troll them.'" She let out a pleased giggle. Robin grinned.
"Trolling is my middle name. Let's be trolls together."
He and M'gann high-fived.
"Rewind, please," Artemis said, circling her finger backwards. "Shipping. What are, um… some of the… couples that they like?"
M'gann's face nearly exploded into happiness, and Artemis could tell that she had asked precisely the right question.
"Well, there's me and Superboy, which is even better because we're already together, just like they wanted – then there are lots of people who like Wally and Robin together…" Wally let out a strangled cry as though he'd been wounded. "And then there's lots of Kaldur/everyone, because Kaldur's so cool, and then there's Black Canary/Green Arrow, which is also canon, so pluses! And then there's—"
"Canon?" Artemis repeated weakly, losing her way in M'gann's tangent already.
"Like… existing in our lives. Superboy and I are canon, for example. Wally and Robin are not."
"Damn straight!" Wally emphasized, and Artemis looked wildly around, because she couldn't see him. Her eyes fell to the floor, where he was sprawled out on his face. She rolled her eyes.
"And then there's quite a bit of Robin and this girl called Babs?" Robin did a subtle fist-pump of victory in the background. "Which is very cute, if you ask me! I ship it. And then, of course, there's my OTP—"
"OTP?" Kaldur repeated. M'gann hit her forehead as though she'd forgotten something important.
"Hello, Megan! OTP stands for One True Pairing. Your favorite, essentially."
"Ah," Kaldur said uncomfortably. "And what might that be?"
M'gann was grinning without shame.
"Spitfire!" she exclaimed, throwing her arms in the air. Artemis raised an eyebrow in confusion, but Wally made another burbling, pained noise from the floor, leaping to his feet.
"No, M'gann!" he croaked, slapping a hand over her mouth. "I am begging you with every molecule in my body to stop talking right now!" In an indistinct mutter, he hissed, "That stupid old nutjob Nelson is so doomed."
"What's spitfire?" Artemis demanded, frowning at Wally's bizarre reaction.
"None of your business, harpy!" Wally squeaked, looking at M'gann with the most desperate, imploring expression Artemis had ever seen before taking his hand off of her mouth. She shrugged, smiling knowingly at him.
"Nothing, really. It's not really in-universe anyway." She winked at Wally. Artemis bristled, and was about to press the issue when Superboy strolled in.
"There you are," he said to the five of them. "Canary wants us in the training room in ten. Says it's a surprise session."
Wally was out the door in seconds. Artemis stared at the space where he'd been standing in shock.
"All right," Kaldur said, sounding extremely relieved. "Thank you for notifying us, Superboy." He exited slightly more quickly than was normal.
"Have you heard of this thing, Superboy?" Artemis demanded, gesturing to the computer. Superboy's brow furrowed.
"Sure. M'gann shows it to me all the time." A smile came upon his face. "I like the fanfiction."
Artemis would have laughed if she wasn't so horrified.
"C'mon, Conner," M'gann said sweetly, floating over and tugging on his sleeve. "Let's go meet the others in the training room."
"Yeah," he agreed, and the two left, leaving only Robin and Artemis. She turned to look at him, frowning incredulously.
"Aren't you coming?" she asked.
"In a sec," he replied distractedly, and Artemis, deciding then that she would put this entire occurrence completely out of mind with some brain bleach at a later date, shook her head at him and ran out to join the others.
In the quiet, Robin grinned.
"Oh, anon. Trying to troll the trolls. That won't work this time," he snickered, opening a window to create a text post. "oh my GOD captain marvel is ten years old? i so totally really honestly truly more synonyms did not know that. thank goodness i have these lovely rebloggers and anons here to inform me on my big huge terrible totally accidental mistake! Aaand post." He snickered gleefully. "I love the Internet."