Not my characters. I am much more into Doctor Who than Glee, and the story will reflect this.
"Where is Sue Sylvester?" was the question all the Cheerios asked more or less at once.
"She won the lottery," said the new coach.
One girl pointed out, "All the P.E. teachers and coaches have disappeared."
"They all won the lottery."
He winked. "Life takes people strange places. Now, my official title is Coach Harper, but you can call me Jack. Any other questions?"
"How did youget their jobs?" another asked.
"I slept with over half the school board," he said sarcastically. "Now are we going to start warming up, or are you going to ogle me in an inappropriate manner for the entire practice?"
"I'm Doctor Song, Ph.D, your new history teacher," the curly-haired woman with the British accent announced as she wrote today's schedule on the board.
"Let me guess: our old one won the lottery," Blaine murmured to Kurt.
"This is approaching statistical unlikelihood," Kurt replied softly, trying not to react to Blaine's sneakered foot gently rubbing his refurbished and decoupaged Goodwill boot. At least not enough to get them both in trouble.
"See me after class, please, Kurt," Doctor Song said, without turning around.
One of the football players snorted. "You're in trouble now, fa-"
"And you, my friend, get three detentions." This time she did turn around, and her smile was like sugared arsenic.
"So you two know each other?"
"Sort of, Will. Can I call you Will?" Jack poured a packet of sugar into his cheap coffee and stirred it ruefully. "I've been spoiled..."
"Um, yeah, that's fine."
"You could say we grew up in the same neighborhood. Some mutual friends. I'm helping River get a green card."
"There are some strange rumors going around about you."
Jack Harper grinned. "I didn't sleep with half the school board to get this job."
"I didn't think you did..."
"No, it was more like a quarter of them. Just the swing votes." He gulped down his coffee and left.
"I found something weird in the janitor's closet."
"How did they even get that thing in there?"
"I'm-I'm-I'm sorry about talking in class," Kurt stammered. "I won't do it again."
Doctor Song's expression softened. "You're not actually in trouble. I just needed to talk to you."
"Do you ever have strange dreams, Kurt?"
"Strange dreams. Ones about, oh, a different life, perhaps?"
Kurt slowly backed away, holding his books like a shield. "I'm not sure where you're going with this."
"Oh, sweetie. I'm so sorry for what's to come." She took something out of her desk and reached it out to him.
He looked at it and blinked. It was a permanent marker attached to a long string. "What's this for?"
"If you wear it around your neck, and promise to draw a check mark on yourself if you see something unusual, no matter how scared you are, I will give you twenty points of extra credit on the test of your choice."
"Okay. Okay. Thanks for standing up for me, when that guy..."
"Of course. Let me know if anyone tries to insult or harm you again."
"Thanks." Kurt made for the door.
"Nice bow tie, by the way," she called after him, sounding as if something was caught in her throat.
"What was that about? And what's with the marker?"
"It's a statement necklace."
"A statement necklace."
"It's a commentary on the power of words in contemporary society."
Blaine chuckled. "All right. Shall we?"
Since Blaine had transferred, they'd made a habit of ducking into the toilet stall of the second floor boy's bathroom for a quick kiss between third and fourth period, as long as no one else was around. Though things had improved, they still didn't like kissing in public.
They were unprepared for the thing they found there.
"Okay, which one of you is pulling a prank this time?" Blaine said with slightly exaggerated bravado, putting a protective arm around Kurt.
Kurt also put on a brave front. "Not sure about the suit when you combine it with the mask. Running for your life is hardly a black-tie affair."
The thing tilted its head and said in an eldritch voice, "Yyyyou arree Kurrrt'Emmel...theee otherr is if nooo consequeeensss..." The lights began to flicker and crackle.
"GET DOWN!" a male voice yelled, and a gunshot rang out.