I stomp back to the slytherin common room, furious with myself. How could I have kissed her? A mudblood? Let alone that mudblood. The know-it-all. Telling me I should have died.
Oh, if father knew...
I shake my head, shoving my fingers through my hair. Unbelievable.
I step into the common room and walk quickly up to my room.
Everyone is asleep, their snores echoing throughout the room. I fall into bed but I find I can't sleep.
I keep replaying the kiss in my mind. Of Granger's lips on mine, my hand entangled in her curls.
I roll over onto my back with a sigh.
I kissed a Gryffindor. I killed my cousin.
I'm a death eater.
I'm just like my father.
I lean up and put my head in my hands.
"'They were going to kill me!' 'Maybe that would have been best.'"
A million images flit through my mind.
My face in the bathroom mirror, eyes sunken in, lips shaking, face troubled.
Granger looking at me, tears in her eyes.
My father glaring down at me disapprovingly.
Voldemort, a triumphant smile on his face.
My father's hand on my shoulder, a threat in and out of itself.
Harry looking at me with pity.
My mother, smiling. My father laughing in one of his better moments.
Granger raising her hand in class, an eager look on her face.
My classmates, none of them actual friends.
The death eater mark on my arm.
Bellatrix lying dead on my floor.
My mother throwing herself in front of me.
This was never going to end. The good and the bad. It would always be like this.
Once a death eater, always a death eater.