Disclaimer: I do not own Gakuen Alice and the characters used. Enough said. XD
Notes: Some scenes that were seen on Mikan's POV won't be foreplayed here. It's necessary, believe me. ;)
Natsume's thoughts are the italicized parts. Go and peek what's inside his mind that time. :D
Wasted Second Chance
(Sequel – Natsume Hyuuga's Point of View)
Written by LunarChan
(A Gakuen Alice Two Shots – Mikan Sakura and Natsume Hyuuga)
My heart thudded audibly on my chest as I recalled what I had to do tonight.
The song was loud and the drums sounded like my heart's beating – fast, irregular, broken, and just like a drum, it was an instrument.
"I love you," I murmured as I wounded my arms around her slender waist.
I love you.
One last time.
"I love you more," She mumbled back and placed her arms on my shoulders.
I love you more than I could tell you.
My hands were shaky as I drove towards the dark, slick roads. Tonight was the perfect night for it. But... I don't want to do this.
"What's the matter?" She broke my reverie. I heard her lean on the leather seat on my car.
"Huh?" I blinked.
"You look... Worried." She asked.
"What?" I tried to sound intimidating and I chuckled. "No... I'm not."
I actually am too worried.
"Well... A little bit." At the dark road, I saw the object that I'm waiting for. The truck's headlights. "I was worried of taking you home." I lied smoothly; my voice betrayed no hint of nervousness. "I don't want your mother to scold you." I turned my head her way and winked at her.
She believed me and laughed her mellow laugh. I listened to that delicious sound for I know, this will be the last time I'm going to hear it.
Just then, she shifted her eyes back to the road while I took my time looking at her dazzling face. Her eyes widened and I know what she saw. "NATSUME!" She yelled and pointed in front.
I gazed at the truck ahead of us. "SHIT." I cursed as I sharply turned the car around, but I'm late. I'm too late.
I closed my eyes when I heard the glass break and I felt fragile arms and a body wrapped up to mine.
No! I wanted to shout. But I couldn't dare to. I groaned as I realized she hugged me. She sacrificed herself for me. I actually wanted for the both of us to die... But she...
I bit my lip as Mochu slid out of the truck. I reminded myself to calm down. She might not be dead. I just have to hurry.
I unwounded myself from her and blood oozed down her head. I cringed when I can't hear her heartbeat anymore. I hurriedly got out of my car. Mochu was looking weirdly at me.
"Thanks, man." I murmured weakly. Bastard, why didn't you kill me, too? Was actually what I wanted to say.
"No prob." He smiled and scratched his head. "Are you okay?"
But she's not.
"Your head doesn't hurt?"
When he said that, I touched my head and winced when I felt a bump and some wet thing on it. I looked at my fingers. Blood. "No, I'm fine."
"So what do we do now? She's done for, right? My job's done, but I can't leave you here."
"Let's bring her to the hospital."
She might still be saved. I felt a shimmer of hope.
"Why do we have to bring her to the hospital when we were asked to kill her?" He asked, raising his black brow.
"Uh..." Why is he acting smart? Damn. "For it to be more realistic. A car accident. We brought her to the hospital, Dead on Arrival."
"Oh, yeah." He nodded and we both went back to my wrecked car.
I opened the door and Mochu helped me get her unmoving body out.
I hope I'm not yet too late. Mochu and I carried her to his truck and he drove towards the hospital. You have to be strong, Mikan. Don't give up.
We arrived on the hospital and we immediately brought her to the emergency room. Outside the ER, I saw them tear her dress and put that iron thing on both sides or her chest.
"And clear." The doctor said, and her body rose slightly when the iron touched her.
You can do it, Mikan. Be strong.
"What are you doing, man?" I almost jumped when I heard Mochu's voice behind me.
"Uhh, making sure she's not alive." I muttered, not looking at him.
"Oh," He remarked and watched with me.
"No response." The nurse murmured.
"Excuse me, sir." A nurse approached me. My eyes landed at her and she looked worriedly at me.
"Won't you get your head treated?" She questioned. "It looks pretty bad."
"Oh," I had forgotten about my head.
"Yeah, man. Let her treat your wound."
But my heart was wounded. Not my head.
"Good, Natsume." My father smirked at me as Mochu and I brought him the news that she's dead. I felt my heart crumple again. "You actually took a long time before making a move."
"Of course, I don't want them to be suspicious of me." I replied coldly.
I felt dead, too. I don't want to live anymore. I don't want to. I have to die somewhere, too. And we'll be both very happy in heaven. Or maybe, she's in heaven and I'll go to hell. After what I did.
"That's my boy, alright." He nodded. "You may go."
I turned my back quickly. I had other plans for this day.
"Natsu," Mochu called.
"Leave me alone for a while." I called back at him.
As I descended down the stairs, I recalled the day when my father asked me to do this job.
"You just have to befriend her." He persuaded me for the fifteenth time.
"And?" I raised my brow at him.
"She's the daughter of our competitor. The heir to that company. Her mother just passed the company to her recently. And I want her dead. She's ruining my plans for your bright future, Natsume."
"You have to befriend her. Get her trust. Then make her die and make it an accident."
"Why do I have to do that?"
"No more questions." His voice hardened. And I know I can't disobey him. "I want you to do this. End of story."
It's actually not the 'End of Story'. It's just when I had realized how I've been missing a lot of things in life.
That's just when my life started. It became fun and more colorful. My cold and lifeless life that my Dad had planned for me; it became the opposite when she became mine.
I wanted to turn back to my obligation. I wanted Dad to get some other man's ass to do his dirty work. Not me. But when he made up his mind, there's no turning back. There's no way I could change his mind.
The only thing I could do was to die with her. And it failed. Because she freaking protected me. Didn't she anticipate protecting herself more than me? That she needed better protection more than I do? That I wanted myself to die, than her?
She's so freaking innocent. And that's why I fell in love with her.
She's too unfit for reality. All she knew was fantasy, romance and good things that weren't real. She's too good for this damn reality. She's too good for me.
I felt my heart waver again as I remembered her.
There were too many people gathered in this place. They were chatting, and some of them were playing cards. Some children were eating. Their mothers talking to each other, gossiping.
I made my way inside the house I've known and I saw her mother. I felt guiltier than before. Her eyes were round and swollen. It became pinkish because of her endless crying. She smiled a little when she saw me.
We talked for a while and she cried more. I patted her back.
I'm so sorry. I should've died instead.
"Do you remember when she introduced you to me?" Aunt Yuka sniffed. Her nose was pinkish, too.
I nodded. My heart was breaking every moment that she reminds me of her daughter.
"She was so happy, back then." She laughed bitterly.
"I'm so sorry." I apologized.
It was my fault, Aunt Yuka. I'm so sorry. You can blame everything to me.
"No," She shook her head. "I'm glad that you're safe, son. But I can't say the same for my daughter. She's too weak."
"It's my fault, Aunt. I... The car... I turned it left, abruptly... and the damage was all..."
"I know you wanted to avoid the truck, son." She cried again. "But... It's too late."
I'm so sorry.
"Don't worry." She laughed lightly this time. "I'm sure she's happy that she protected you. I'm sure she's happy on heaven." She sniffed. "I'm sure she's blaming herself, actually."
"What?" I asked, dumbfounded.
"That you got hurt." She touched the bandage on my head. "That she wasn't enough to save every part of you... You're too precious to him, son."
I pursed my lips.
"She's not regretting anything, believe me."
But I'm regretting everything. Every little thing.
I couldn't dare to look at her face inside the white coffin but her Mom tugged my arm and let me take a peek at her. She's lying there. Dead. Cold. Frozen. Because of me.
This wouldn't have happened if I had the guts to just die or I had the guts to kill myself.
The gin sizzled on my throat before going straight down to my stomach. I wanted to die.
I wish I'd never been born.
Someone kill me now.
I took my martini glass with some more gin left and crossed the bar; hoping I would encounter some thugs here and they would finish this fucking life of mine.
I felt I bumped to somebody.
Now go. Kill me.
"Oh my," I heard a girly whimper.
My head was slightly dizzy; I turned my head to see a reddish-haired girl. She groaned and looked up.
I saw Mikan's face. My eyes widened and I blinked twice.
I saw two pair of black eyes stare right at me back.
Great. I'm hallucinating.
"Oh sorry," I mumbled. "I wasn't paying attention to where I was going."
"Oh it's fine." Her tone changed. She smiled at me and it hurt so much. She looked like the reincarnated Mikan.
Am I dead, already?
"Still, I'm sorry." I took the handkerchief on my back pocket and handed it to her.
I can see her lips twitch. She was fighting a smile.
She took my handkerchief and carefully wiped the spilled gin on her shirt.
"I'm Natsume." I opened my palm to her.
Mikan? I wanted to yell.
"Mika," She said with a grin on her face.
"Oh, I grinned back, feeling all eerie. "Nice name you got there."
Of all the names to have, why almost the same as hers?
Her actions... Her smile... Everything. It always reminds me of her. And I can feel my heart tug this old chain on my heart. A chain that I sealed up.
She always comes to this bar now, always talking to me and I felt like I've found someone again. But I don't have to kill her. This time, I got to keep her forever.
But... What if my Dad asked me to kill Mika? Am I strong enough to handle the heartbreak again? Am I strong enough to do it again?
I have to make her stay away from me now. Because if she falls hard for me...
No. I don't even want to think about it.
"What's this thing I heard that you're dating?" My Dad grumbled at breakfast and I froze.
"Who are you dating?"
"I'm not dating." I flinched from his tone. "And are you tailing every little thing I am doing...? Again?"
"So what if I am?" He deadpanned. "It's about your safety."
"Why do you always have to barge in on my life? !" I'm so sick and tired of this.
"Natsume," He sighed and explained. "I want you to live a good life and don't waste your time with that girl you met on that filthy bar."
I cringed. "No. You're not ruling my life."
"I'm not." He smirked. "But you have to marry someone dignified. Not that scary-looking hag."
My eyes widened and I instantly rose from my seat. That was below the belt. "I'm going out."
"Natsume," I heard him monotone after me.
I didn't stop.
"Break up with her or I'll make you break up with her?"
I still didn't stop walking.
"Do you want me to get someone to kill her?"
I stopped dead on my tracks.
No fucking way. No. No. No. Don't.
"Then break up with her." He deduced and I heard him rise up and walked away.
My teeth clenched together.
"Hey," I raised my brow at her. "You okay?"
She was just staring in front of her. It was like she was thinking deeply.
The music was mellow. A waiter was playing violin near us.
I have to break another heart again. At least I don't have to kill her.
"Uh, yeah. Sort of." She laughed quietly and shrugged. "Kinda spacing out."
I snickered at her, but my insides were tied on a large knot.
She turned her attention back to eating her meal and it was very weird for her to not talk. Something was bothering her.
But I won't ask. I have to do something today. I have to break up with her.
It's for her sake. For her to be safe. I know somewhere around here in the crowd of people, Dad sent someone to look after me. He's so fucking insane.
"Umm... You know," I began. "I don't want to compare you or anything," I defended myself before continuing. "But your actions remind me of my ex-girlfriend."
I thought that would thaw her out. That it would freak her out and she would give up on me.
But her reaction was something I hadn't anticipated. "Y-Your ex-girlfriend?" It was like she was amused – or interested. And it irked me.
"Yes, it's kinda creepy and all." What I said were too harsh. "But I'm not mentioning that you're creepy. It's kinda..." I searched for words. "Off."
"Yeah, it must suck." Her mood turned to glum and she harshly picked a mushroom with her fork. She literally stabbed it.
It's better to hurt you this way.
"What was she like?" She suddenly asked.
"She was the dumbest person alive." And I chuckled sourly.
That dumb girl who would risk her life just to save me. She's a martyr.
"Dumb?" She was angered.
"Wait." I don't know what to say next. "I'm not saying you're dumb." No. Those words slipped out! I have to make him gloomy! It'll be easier to break up that way. "Your actions are just similar." I tried to reason out what I had just said.
"Okay," Her voice quivered slightly.
"She was dumb, but sweet. She was also so annoying." I tried to make a disgusted face at her. "Her sweetness was too annoying, actually."
She was like a drug. Too addictive and I can't help but give in... And that was just... Annoying. Because she'll still love me despite the bad person I am.
"Sweetness is annoying? Being sweet is being annoying?" Her logic made me nervous. She was smart.
"She is annoying. Every part of her is annoying." I said through clenched teeth.
Like how she held on to me just to protect me. She could've just let me die! She's too annoying that way. Why didn't she just let me die?
"Did you break up with her?" Her eyes were filled with curiosity and something else... Hurt? She was hurt?
"No." I shook my head. I calmed myself before continuing. "She died."
Because of me.
"She died...?" She questioned, her voice thick and hoarse.
"Yeah, she died." I tried to intimidate her. And I think it worked.
"H-How?" She winced.
I looked at her.
I'm sorry. I have to do this. "We've been dating for a while, now." I struggled to keep myself from choking out the words.
"Huh?" She was dumbstruck.
"I was the one who killed her." I admitted.
Go. Be afraid. Hate me.
"What?" She shrieked.
"Yes," I forced my face to laugh. "I know you might hate me and even not go out with me if I say this..."
Which would actually be better if you do that.
"... But, I planned it all." I continued.
No, it wasn't me. I'm so sorry. It was my Dad.
"... I planned to kill her ever since the beginning." I made my face look serious.
"How on earth could you do that?" She squeaked. Her voice was sad, now.
I don't want that, either. I don't want her to die.
"Well, it was easy. I contracted a truck driver to bump my car. And I know how her mind works."
I didn't actually think she would protect me. I was expecting her to brace herself, rather than embrace me.
"... She would instantly protect me." I explained. "So... I turned the car left, so that the damage will be on her side. On the passenger's seat."
I actually wanted to turn the car where we would both die. I couldn't do anything. If she's saved, my Dad would make another accident to kill her again... I just have to die with her. But the truck connected with the car a little too soon... And I was too late. Too late.
She shed a tear and stood up.
I'm so sorry, Mika.
I wanted to stay seated and to remain there quietly. But I can't restrain my emotions. "Hey, Mika."
She ignored me.
"What?" I don't know what to say. "Where are you going?" She turned around, her back facing me. "So, you hate me now, huh?"
I want you to be safe. Go now.
My heart squeezed tight.
She walked away, leaving me. I don't want her to go. But what can I do? I can't also stay with her and endanger her life! I don't want another girl to suffer!
She was walking wobbly, like she was a drunken woman. And I know she's crying.
I couldn't help it.
Die. Father. Die. I don't care anymore.
I stood up and ran after her.
"Mika," I called.
Then from not so far, I heard a truck fast approaching and my eyes widened.
It was the one that Mochu rented. My Dad wanted her dead in an instant!
"MIKA, LOOK OUT!" I screeched and the driver honked loudly.
My legs were numb as her fragile body hit the truck and I saw her being thwarted away.
I forced my frozen legs to run towards her.
No. Don't. Don't.
"Mika," My voice barely escaped shaking as I held her head on my lap.
Don't give up on me. No. Don't give your life up. It's okay to give up on me. Just live.
She was bloody all over and her tired eyes zoomed to me. "I... I love you, Natsume," Her bloody lips smiled one last grim smile at me before her eyelids slammed shut.
"NO!" I cried.
Everything. Everything was lost. In front of my own two eyes.
I stood up on the edge of the railing. The wind whipped my hair and I shivered. The waves splashed loudly, as if actually waiting for someone to jump and the waves would probably swallow me up.
Don't worry, dear ocean. One body will join you.
I give up.
My life. I have no reason to live for. I don't care if my Dad would actually cry if I died because no one will inherit his damned company...
I don't care anymore.
With the last intake of oxygen, I gathered my strength and pushed myself downward.
Important Author's Notes:
Okay. I know some of you might actually think that Natsume's Dad's actions are unreasonable.
1. Why would Natsume's Dad make him kill the girl, instead of hiring someone to kill her?
2. Why did he want Mika (or Amane or Mikan... XDD) to die when she's not an heir or some of the sort to another competitor's company or whatsoever?
Okay. Here's my answer: Natsume's Dad is greedy and selfish. He actually wanted Natsume to kill the girl, Mikan, in order for Natsume to be depressed and kill himself. But his plans were ruined because of Amane – or Mikan, reincarnated – because Natsume wasn't in agony. He wanted the company all to himself.
Now, the ending. Yes. He won. Natsume killed himself.
I know it's a poor sequel. But this plot was what came inside my mind. XD
And I actually wasn't planning on a sequel anyway. XD
I actually thought of including his father's story, but this was actually too long. X_X
Author's Jibbajabs: XD
Review please? Thanks. :3
I really appreciated that you guys requested a sequel. Although, I know this isn't what you're expecting. Or so I thought? XD
Review, review review. Yaay!
~ LunarChan (11-09-11)
P.S.: I'll update less often now because my laptop was in my sister's possession as of the moment. *sighs* I'm already too lonely without it. :/