Woah, I'm on a bit of a roll at the moment, so many ideas so little time. This one is set later than my other one shots. I was unsure of what genre to put it in, towards the end it does get fairly serious but there is some humour in it (I hope) ;L

Anyway, enjoy and let me know what you think!

I don't own Doctor Who. HOWEVER, I do own some posters and a cat.

Grown up talk

The Doctor strolled into the kitchen, intending to make himself some breakfast. River and their eldest daughter were sat at the table, engaged in what looked like a rather uncomfortable conversation – at least on Amelia's part. He wasn't really paying attention so he sat down and helped himself to some toast when he caught a snippet of their conversation ''Oh sweetie, don't worry it happens. In fact just the other day, your father was a bit too keen and it pained me to walk for days!'' the Doctor's head snapped up, half a piece of toast hanging from his mouth,

''Mum, I really did NOT need to know that!'' Amelia cringed at her words and the Doctor's eyes widened – surely River was not talking about what he thought she was talking about, and at the breakfast table no less!

''What the heck are you two talking about!''

''Stuff that mum really doesn't need to tell me-,''

''Sex'' River cut in chirpily. The doctor spat out his tea, spraying it all over the table,

''River!'' he choked ''she's far too young to be getting involved in that sort of thing!''

''Bit late for you to be worrying about ''that'' now dad...'' she made quotation marks with her fingers. If the situation was any different, she would have found it highly amusing that her father could not bring himself round to say the word 'sex'.

More choking.

''WHAT!'' he almost fell out of his chair.

''Sweetie, she's seventeen. That's two years older than I was when I fir-,''

''Alright mum, no need''

''River, that's not the point! This is completely different!'' his eyes darted between his wife and daughter, not quite believing what he was hearing, perhaps his ears were deceiving him

''How is it? She's of age and Daniel's such a lovely boy'' Amelia rolled her eyes, knowing what was coming next,

''Sorry,'' more spluttering ''did you just say Daniel? As in Daniel from the space station Daniel!''

''Yes'' River sighed and the Doctor jumped up, causing the table to shift by a good few inches.

''He's almost twenty! TWENTY!''

''Oh, you're' one to talk!'' Amelia laughed ''how old are you, nine hundred and something? And how old is mum, 41. Talk about cradle snatcher much''

''Yes, but that's different'' he was struggling for something to say now, nothing he could think of seemed justifiable at the moment.. ''we got married!'' he blurted

''Oh, stop being so dramatic. It's not like they're not being careful'' she turned to their daughter ''you are being careful aren't you sweetie?''

The doctor looked like he was about to pass out ''..Oh my god..''

''Yes mum! Bloody hell, I'm going to leave now'' she got up quickly, intending to get out of the before it got any more uncomfortable

''Oh no you don't. You stay right where you are young lady, and you'' he pointed to River ''shouldn't encourage her!.. And most certainly shouldn't be telling her about what we do when, you know..'' his hands flew pointlessly in the air for a moment ''adult-y stuff…'' he grumbled.

It was silent for a while, River was staring at the table cloth, Amelia was looking everywhere except for her father and the Doctor was glaring at his daughter. The atmosphere was just plain awkward.

''Amelia'' he spoke a little more quietly, ''I forbid you to see that boy ever again-,''


''Sweetie, that's not fair'' River said curtly

''You can't stop me from seeing him!'' she shrieked also standing up to try and match her father's intimidation

''I'm your father, I'll think you'll find I can'' he said in a dangerously low voice that she had only heard a few times before and it had never been directed at her..

''Go to your room sweetheart, we'll talk about this later'' River rose from her chair looking serious but giving her a small smile at the same time,


''Now.'' She snapped, pointing to the kitchen door. Amelia stomped to her room, her angry footsteps echoing through the TARDIS corridors followed by a loud SLAM of her bedroom door.

In the kitchen, the Doctor slumped back into his chair, shoulders hunched, head in his hands, ''sweetie, she's not a child anymore'' River squeezed his shoulder gently and he sighed

''I know.. It's just she'll always be a little girl to me..''

''But she's not though, she's seventeen and you've got to let her make her own choices''

The Doctor took in a slow breath ''I just don't want her to grow up too fast or get all.. corrupted..''

River chuckled softly, ''oh my love, she's far more sensible than I was at that age and I turned out alright, huh? Not too 'corrupted''' they both laughed this time and the Doctor looked up at her grinning,

''No, just psychotic''

''Oi!'' she nudged his shoulder playfully ''I'm being serious, you've got to let her grow up, you know, make her own decisions, learn from her own mistakes''

''…I know, your right''

''Of course I am love, I'm always right''


''You should talk to her''

The Doctor groaned ''Ohh, can't you talk to her instead? You're her mother, you talk to her about woman-y things and what not''

''No, I can't. You made her angry. It's you she's mad at not me'' she grabbed his arm and started pulling him up towards the door ''besides I'm always the one that talks to our children about this sort of thing. It's your turn now''

He huffed, putting all his weight on his heels ''yes but you don't find it all awkward..'' she raised an eyebrow at him and give him her 'oh just do it' look and he agreed ''Fine, but if she starts shouting at me again you can deal with her''

''Okay, just go'' she pushed him out the door ''If you hurry up, we can re-enact what I was on about earlier'' he immediately picked up his pace and glided down the corridor, grinning like an idiot.

I wrote the last few paragraphs pretty quickly so I hope it still reads well! :)