A/N: Don't own it. Yup, that's my disclaimer, deal.
This is it kiddies. The last chapter. There will be one epilogue and more than likely an out take or two. But we're at the end of the line. Deep breath and read...
A Thin Line
I'd asked Edward to stop at Walgreens on the way into Forks for a few basics: milk, eggs, and toilet cleaner, blue pens…a pregnancy test. Of course I left that off the list and went all ninja sneaky when I brought the blue and white box up to my bathroom.
The door clicked closed and the sound was so loud I jumped. Sliding down the door to the cool tile of the floor, I gripped that box in my shaking hands. You'd think that after years of trying to get pregnant, and facing the very real possibility that it might actually be the case this time, fear wouldn't be on the menu, right?
But that was exactly what held me in my place—fear. I'd been through this so many times, and so many times I'd been disappointed, crushed. Having that thin little line slice into me again, like it had so many times before, was terrifying.
The worst part was I'd already begun to get my hopes up. I already started to feel like this was something I could have and moreover fucking deserved. I hated hope sometimes because when she let you down, she could be a terrible bitch.
I read the instructions like I wasn't an old hand at it, and I studied the lettering carefully, looking for flaws in the print. I must have been in there much longer than I thought, staring down at the little cardboard box of hope, because Edward's voice came through the door.
"Isabella, are you okay? You didn't fall asleep in there did you?" I knew he was trying to play off his concern with a joke, but I could hear it in his voice.
I stood up, took a deep breath, and opened the door.
"You've been in here or a good twenty minutes and I didn't hear…" his eyes dropped to the box in my clutches.
"Stay here with me?" I begged, tears pouring down my face.
"Why didn't you say something…if you thought…?" He pushed my hair behind my ear and cupped my face. "You look terrified."
"I hate these things," I said through a choking sob. I looked back down at the test and suddenly the box felt as though it weighed forty pounds.
He backed me up, his hands on my waist, holding firmly. "How late are you?"
"A week a least, maybe more. My periods are such a mess. It might be two…" I shook my head.
Without a word he took the box from my hand, opened it, set it on the countertop, and walked me toward the toilet.
"Don't leave," I whispered as he handed me the white stick.
"Wasn't planning on it." He pushed himself up on the counter and stared at the shower curtain.
Peeing with someone in the room wasn't an easy thing to do, but the thought of him leaving this room was more than I could handle in the moment, and I wasn't afraid to admit it. My hands shook so violently I almost dropped the stick in the toilet before putting the cap back on and gingerly setting it down next to the sink. I eyeballed it like it was some sort of ticking time bomb as I washed my hands.
Edward was still staring straight ahead, not blinking, and I began to wonder if he was in some kind shock. "Jesus fucking…you know you're not allowed to lose your shit, right? You're supposed to be all solid and when I flip my lid. You're supposed to be the one to pick me up off the floor, so zip up the paranoia and get with the program." I poked his shoulder and then crossed my arms across my chest.
"I'm not…No, Bella, I'm not scared of what that pee stick might say." He ran his hand through his hair and locked eyes with me. "Wow that was a whole lot of bitchy right there, lovely."
"No changing the subject. You checked out," I accused.
"No…well kind of. I was picturing you with a big, round belly." He sort of sounded embarrassed about admitting that, and I cocked my head hoping to get a little more information from him.
"This isn't the first time I've pictured you pregnant. God, you'd look so beautiful, a little puffy but easily the most glorious fucking creature I've ever seen."
"You've thought about this?"
"All the time. How could I not, Isabella?"
Tears pooled in my eyes once again, and warm salty streams flowed down my face. Years with Mike as a husband taught me not to expect much in the way of physical affection or sexual pleasure. But being with Edward changed all of that. Years of negative tests taught me not to put too much on the line; it taught me hope was something that others could afford, but the price for me was too high. Edward's dreams of me carrying his baby killed me. I wanted nothing more than to be the mother of his child. I was so overwhelmed by the notion that sobbing was my only option.
He pulled on my wrist, and I nestled myself between his thighs, allowing him to wrap his arms around me and hold me to him. Tears stained and saturated his light grey sweater. I lost myself in his smell, his heat, and his comforting embrace.
"Isabella?" Edward's hand cupped my chin and brought my eyes to his. "Are you ready?"
I nodded and together we looked down on the white plastic stick that stuck out in harsh contrast to the dark counter. "Pregnant" the tiny window read.
My knees buckled.
"Shit," Edward muttered as he caught me. He slid off the counter and folded to the floor with me, and right there in his arms I dissolved into deep, heavy sobs.
For as much as I wanted it, a tiny piece of me told me not to hold my breath, not to wish too hard. That part of me imploded and left me dizzy and so overwhelmed I could hardly form words.
Kisses peppered my hair, my shoulders, and my neck. Edward brought our hands together, holding them in a death grip and kissed each of my knuckles. Whispered words filtered through my sobs, and I tried to focus on his voice and calm myself.
"You're going to have my baby," I heard him mumble between kisses. I looked up to him and his moss green eyes were swimming in tears, an uncontrollable smile stitched across his face. He'd never looked so soft, so open, and so happy before.
He whispered it again, his lips running across my forehead. I chuckled weakly and sat up a little straighter.
"I'm sorry I lost my shit there," I said, wiping makeup mixed tears from my face. I laced my fingers through his and placed a gentle peck on the back of his hand.
"You didn't…maybe a little." Edward shook his head and smiled again. "It's kind of…overwhelming, but in such a good fucking way. I can't believe…there's a baby in there… we made…" His voice cut out and a fresh wave of tears spilled over his cheeks and dripped off his chin.
Before I could utter a single word, his lips were on mine—insistent, heavy. I could taste the salt of our tears mixing and blending with that Edward flavour that always made me lightheaded. Edward pulled me up onto his lap, his hands cupping my ass, as he devoured my mouth.
A girl could forget her name being kissed like this.
When his hands slipped up my sides and tickled the sides of my breasts, I let out a quiet moan, and I might have moved against him…just a little.
His erection grew and so did the noises between us. Quiet moans to loud, whining sounds of pure need.
I pulled my sweatshirt over my head and closed my eyes while Edward buried his face in my chest, slow tears still trickling down our faces.
I saw it all in that moment. My belly growing, a tiny bundle cradled in Edward's arms, and a small bronze haired boy running from me in the back yard. I saw a small but happy family cuddled together on the couch reading a book. I saw what I thought I could never have. And now here it was, real, tiny, and vulnerable growing inside me.
Overwhelmed didn't even began to touch the cavalcade of feelings that flowed through me.
Suddenly, I was being whisked away from the cold bathroom floor to the soft, cool comfort of my bed. Edward placed me in the centre of the mattress so gently I wanted to laugh, and he stood at my feet looking down at me. He reached out with shaky hands and unzipped my skinny jeans. Tugging as carefully as he could, he cursed. "I fucking hate these things sometimes. Don't get me wrong, they look amazing on you…your ass—"
"Get on with it, Cullen!" I scolded, frowning at him.
"Just saying," he said with a chuckle and a sly wink.
That right there is what started it all. That hot as hell smirk that implies sex and lust and depravity, and it practically knocked me on my ass the first time I saw it. A cocky little smile of my own bloomed when I thought of where that fall had landed me.
With my jeans finally peeled off and discarded somewhere on the floor, Edward hovered over me. Wet, open mouth kisses were placed over my bra clad breasts, my sternum, and then my ribs. His breath tickled me and goosebumps sprouted all over my body. When his kisses stopped, I pulled up on my elbows and looked down at him.
He sat between my knees, staring at my flat tummy. Slowly, he brought his face to my belly button; warm breath washed over my skin and I grinned.
"I love you," he said in a hushed tone that was so honest and sweet, my throat closed up a little. His eyes never left my belly as he kissed back and forth from hip to hip. His fingers gently grazed my stomach, and he whispered his love again.
Our bodies tangled together as we kissed at a slow, lazy pace. Fingers skipped and danced across warm skin and airy sounds filled the room.
Done with it all and needing him inside me, I took him in my hand and guided the tip to my entrance. "Go slow," I said, pulling him down for a kiss.
He pushed forward and my blood rushed hot and grew thick. My heart beat in sluggish thumps that struck like a wrecking ball against my ribs, making every inhale feel like breathing through water. It wasn't unpleasant, it was heavy. Every movement of his hips felt weighted. His strokes were so measured that it burned me from inside. I wanted to hold on to that burn, that consuming feeling for as long as I could.
He pushed and I sighed; he pulled back and I gripped the sheets waiting for him to give me his weight. I shifted underneath him, and he drove in further making my belly boil and my lungs hollow out. I sucked at the air and moaned when his hand palmed my breasts and his fingers bit into my hip.
He drew lazy circles with his hips, and I continued to burn and roll in the fire he started. My nails raked across his flesh and sometimes I heard a hiss, sometimes a whimper. Mostly I heard tiny prayers and confession against my sex damp skin.
Every slide of his cock made me want and need that much more. More weight, more pressure, more friction, more salty skin. I wanted nothing more than to fold into him and get lost in his skin. A part of him was already growing deep inside me, but it wasn't enough. "Deeper," I begged, not actually thinking he could get much deeper. He shifted our positions until both my legs were slung over each of his shoulders and he pressed me further into the mattress.
I cried out, biting at my lips and clutching his sides as my body coiled and relaxed with each push and pull. Each movement brought me closer to release. I loved the feeling of his body moving against mine and guiding me to pleasure.
"That's it, love. God, you're so beautiful." He pushed and stroked and slid until his body could no longer take the heat and he came calling my name.
"When did you know? Or think…" he said as he played connect the dots with my freckles.
I sat up in bed and turned to my side, running my fingertips over his naked chest. "I almost heaved over pumpkin guts the other night." I shook my head and wondered why I didn't put those glaringly obvious puzzle pieces together sooner.
"Pumpkin guts?" He cocked an eyebrow at me.
"Hmm, Alice brought pumpkins for us to carve and as soon as she opened hers up, I nearly lost my lunch," I explained. "I didn't think anything of it really, but Rose immediately jumped on the preggo train and wanted me to take a test."
"Why didn't you?"
"Years of them being negative. I didn't think it was really possible, but Rosalie kind of barked at me. Reminded me that I was never told it was impossible, just not likely. I let "not likely" twist and warp until it became impossible."
"Easy enough to do after what you'd been through," Edward said, capturing my fingers and holding them to his heart.
I wanted to whip out a bull horn and run screaming down the streets that I was pregnant. I wanted to call everyone I knew, everyone that stood by my side and offered me comfort when a negative test crushed my dreams of motherhood. But the cautious side of me, the side that barely believed what was happening, told me to keep my big mouth shut.
After talking to Edward about it, we decided first and foremost I needed to get blood work done to confirm the positive test. Waiting would be difficult, but in the end we decided we wouldn't break the baby news until I was safely past my first trimester. Edward, being the over logical neeny that he was, reminded me that there was obviously complications with the contraception process, which meant a slightly higher likelihood of miscarriage. So I agreed to keep my trap firmly shut.
We agreed that if we could get my mother and Phil down for a visit in the New Year, we'd use that as an excuse to have a dinner party with all of our parents and spring the news on them then.
We spent a good hour contemplating the reactions of our parents. He joked that Charlie might just pull a shotgun on him, but he and I knew well and good that no such scene would play out. Charlie was nearly as heartbroken as I was every time a procedure failed. He'd winced at the sight of the needles and let out heavyhearted sighs anytime I mentioned plans for a nursery that never was. Charlie would be beside himself.
I could practically hear the high pitched, happy laughter that would pour from my mother and the elated looks on their faces. It would be a moment neither one of us would forget. Lost in thought, I felt a tapping on my tummy, and I turned to see Edward regarding me like something precious. It wasn't the first time I'd seen that look on his face, but was the first time I really felt like it.
"Your stomach is talking. It's been growling like a rabid beast for the last ten minutes now. How do you not hear that?" he said as he leaned in to kiss the tip of my nose.
"A lot on my mind, I guess." I shrugged.
"A lot to think about." His voice sounded so introspective.
"Put some pants on and I'll make us some pasta," I said, rising from the bed and tossing one of Edward's sweatshirts on.
"You don't have pants on," he teased. "But I'm good with that. Don't change that."
My too-big sweat shirt was the sexiest thing I'd ever seen her wear. The sleeves were too long, and as she stirred the pasta sauce, she pushed them up, bunching at the elbows. The thing barely covered her naked ass, and when she stretched to reach the garlic on the shelf it rose up, exposing her creamy backside.
Everything about her was so fucking sublime: her long legs, her smooth skin, the curve of her ass. Perfect.
She moved around the kitchen, humming the tune "Oh What a Night" of all songs. Occasionally, her feet would drift a little in a cute little dance move and her face would light up like the forth of fucking July.
Was she thinking about the child growing inside? Was that the cause of her smile? Because I'd been wearing a shit-eating grin all evening just thinking about the little jelly bean Bella had safe in her belly.
We sat at the table exchanging glances over bow-tie pasta. Sauce caught in the corner of her mouth, and I reached out and swiped the pad of my thumb over her lips. She nipped at my thumb with a playful grin, and I almost dropped my fork.
"Finished?" I asked.
She nodded her head and reached for my plate.
"No, no, pretty girl. You cooked, I clean." I scooped both our plates before she could protest and made my way to the sink.
"I boiled water," Bella said with a chuckle. She waltzed to the fridge and poured a glass of milk and leaned against the counter top next to me while the sink filled. "You know there's a dishwasher, right?"
"It's six dishes, hardly worth it." I side-eyed her, picking up the silverware.
She shrugged and I scrubbed. Without much of a warning my mind meandered from the task at hand and instead shot me vivid pictures of soap bubbles slowly slipping and sliding down Bella's body, leaving a wet path and goosebumps in their wake. Tiny, fluffy, white bubbles dissolved on her warm skin, turning to nothing but a trickle as they reached her hip bone.
"Just do it," I heard Bella say, and I cocked my head toward her.
My brow raised in question.
"Whatever it is that's caused that look right there…" she twirled her finger in the air, pointing at my face. "…just do it."
I dropped the plate in the sink—slopping warm, sudsy water on my torso—and stepped to her, pinning her against the countertop. Her hot breath fanned across my face just before my mouth covered hers. One moan from her was all it took, and I was hard again.
My hands curled around strands of dark brown hair and gently pulled back so I could devour her neck. Her back bowed and she wrapped one leg around my upper thighs. My tongue snaked out and licked the pale, sensitive skin, following the vain to the spot behind her ear.
She always loses it a little when I kiss her here.
Predictably, she whimpered and clutched my forearm, trying to raise herself up on the counter.
Taking that as my cue, I put my hands under her butt and hoisted her up, settling her down gently. Her hands wove into my hair as we kissed, and mine tickled the length of her thighs. She clutched the crown of my head and began to push me down, spreading her legs. I looked up at her through my lashes, and the dark twinkle in her eye had me chuckling.
I made sure she came good and hard before I scooped her up off the counter and walked into the living room. She swung her feet as I cradled her to my chest, her cheeks all flushed and her forehead a little damp with sweat.
I placed her on the couch and watched as her body stretched out. She still had my sweatshirt on and as fuck hot as it was, it needed to go. I needed her skin, all of it.
"Lose the pants and I'll chuck the sweater," she said as if she heard my thoughts.
I tugged the sleep pants off and groaned when Isabella's hand reached for me. She stroked me with a firm grip, never taking her eyes off my face. I pulled away from her and motioned for her to take off the sweat shirt. It dropped to the floor, and she lay out along the length of the couch again, propping one leg up.
I lowered myself over her, and I could feel how wet she was. My cock ached to be buried inside her, to be home, warm and nestled in her heat. I didn't think I had the restraint to go slow again if she asked. Nearly every part of me wanted to fuck her senseless. I kissed her hard, biting on her lip before pushing forward and finally sliding home.
"Fuck!" she grunted and it spurred me on.
The sound of damp skin slapping and the squeaking protests of the furniture drove me faster. Each time our hips met and crashed, she swore and I groaned. She fondled her beautiful breasts and played with her dark pink nipples while I gripped the armrest behind her, my knuckles straining against my skin with the force.
Her small but sharp little heels dug into my ass and pushed me forward. It wasn't enough. I sat up and motioned for her to stand up and turn around. Standing with her back facing me, she wiggled her ass. I reached out and clutched her hips, drawing her down on my lap. She teased me, rubbing her ass against my shaft and then pulled up on her toes, reached down with one hand and guided me into her. Immediately she let out a loud, throaty cry and began bouncing on my lap.
"Oh shit…" I stuttered as she pushed down and ground her ass into me, her hips moving in heavy, full circles.
My grasp on her hips would surely leave marks, not that she ever cared.
She threw her head back and her dark hair gently whipped across my face and naked chest. Sweat had coated both our bodies and the slide of skin on skin was hypnotizing. She peeked over her shoulder at me and winked. That wink was full of evil intentions and I fucking knew it. She dropped back down on me hard and began riding me in earnest. Her hands took mine and placed them where she wanted them: one cuddling her breast, the other at her oh so fucking wet heat. My finger danced over her clit, and her little fingers dug into the flesh of my thighs.
Her body slapped against mine in a relentless rhythm and within seconds of each other we fell off the edge, both panting, screaming, and clawing at each other.
The woman in my lap had, in such a short period of time, become everything my world was meant to be. Everything was growing, shifting, and changing in the most amazing ways, and the very thought of what tomorrow might look like with this creature beside me excited me. She'd stumbled into my world, rather literally, and wrapped herself around me in every way. Everything I knew of life and love had changed because of her.
So that's all flove bunnies. Up next is the epilogue. If you have any thoughts on out takes, I'd be glad to hear them, I'm sure there'll be a couple.
I love the shit out of each and every one of you. Thanks for reading, and I'll try to get you the epilogue ASAP, okay lovelies?
I know I say it all the time, but I LOVE YOU MAX!