Days Without Sun,
Chapter Thirty-Nine: Epilogue Part IV: Healing
Misaki felt his breath catch as Usagi-san's mouth caught his. A dozen light kisses were pulled from his lips. In between these, Usagi-san's lush tongue brushed him inquiringly. Opening himself, Misaki extended his own in welcome. He allowed Usagi-san to drink him in before seeking to quench his own terrible thirst.
Catching Usagi-san's tongue at last, Misaki sucked, tentatively at first, and then with fervor. At the first taste of his author's flavors: of smoke and coffee and ginger, he felt desperate for more.
Even so, he pushed back breaking their kiss.
Akihiko sat still, not pressing forward as he would have in the past. He expected Misaki to withdraw into his old manner of reluctant protests or to shut-down, as he had been prone to do since his rescue. He was stunned however, to feel Misaki's hands leave his shirt and catch his jaw again. Akihiko's eyes fluttered closed, overwhelmed with emotion, as soft lips brushed against his cheek, his forehead, the bridge of his nose, touching and tasting before leaving him again.
Misaki's whisper was plaintive, its tone expressed his need better than a thousand words could have.
Opening his eyes again, Misaki's met his for only a moment before looking away and Akihiko's heart shattered at the open need in the green gaze. His fingers flew to his shirt and he began to quickly finish where Misaki had left off unbuttoning. The slight tremor in his fingers startled Akihiko and, while he wished he might attribute this sudden quaking to his illness, he knew better.
I haven't been this bloody unsettled since… Hell, even my first time, my heart didn't pound like this.
This intrusive insight was quickly left behind, when Misaki shifted atop him.
Seeing his bruised flower, Akihiko knew in an instant he was by far not the most apprehensive one here. He understood too that most of his unease came from worry of doing anything that might set his love back, that he might somehow unknowingly open one of Misaki's healing wounds.
When Akihiko finished with the buttons on his shirt, Misaki's head didn't lift, but his hands reached up. In clenched fingers Misaki took hold of the shirt and pushed it down off broad shoulders.
Akihiko allowed it to slide off. Once free from the encumbering fabric, his hands moved to grasp the hem of Misaki's overlarge shirt. He stopped when he heard Misaki's breath hitch and a shaking hand settled over one of his own. Halting his motion, Akihiko felt the thin fingers of Misaki's damaged hand hover lightly over his chest, before dropping down.
Misaki shook his dark head. "P-please, Usagi-san… I w-want to leave it on."
Pale eyes sparked painfully and the author's heart clenched at the unease in Misaki's voice: he knew how self-conscious his boy was about all the marks Korovin had left on his body. These scars didn't change how Akihiko felt about his beloved in the least but, rather than say this, he simply allowed Misaki's shirt to settle.
Releasing the outer edge of the garment, slowly, long fingers crept up under and soon a cool, large palm rested on the flat of Misaki's low belly. Beneath his hand, Akihiko could feel the pink ridges of scored skin. Settling his hand, Akihiko leaned forward. His lips brushed along Misaki's jaw until they reached the teen's ear.
"This okay, Mi?" Akihiko held his breath until he saw Misaki's almost imperceptible nod.
"Y-yes." Misaki exhaled a shaky breath.
Skilled fingers slowly swept up Misaki's torso. Sensitive fingertips read the braille of Misaki's wounding. They kissed what Akihiko's lips could not. Slipping his hand up, Akihiko cupped the side of one of Misaki's lean pectorals; he brushed a broad thumb around the outer edge of his boy's nipple. Beneath this hand Misaki shivered, his back stiffened involuntarily and he pushed his chest forward. The tip of Akihiko's thumb found the point of Misaki's nipple and he flicked across it.
A low moan caught in Misaki's throat and another tremor of pleasure shook his lean frame.
Akihiko felt his mouth pulled into a smile. How long he'd been waiting to hear his name spoken like this; the song of Misaki's breathy whisper filled his ears and his heart. His broad hand slipped around to catch the blade of Misaki's shoulder as he pulled him closer.
He caught Misaki's lips, just as his boy had darted his pink tongue out to nervously lick them. He caressed the tip of Misaki's tongue with his own and when Misaki went to pull in a deep breath, Akihiko wet his lover's lips for him. Misaki held his mouth slightly open, lips parted, as Usagi-san lingered over them with his own. He leaned into Usagi-san when he felt the comforting mouth move up to his temple. From here Akihiko ghosted kisses down the side of his face.
White teeth pulled gently on a pinked earlobe. Akihiko ran his lips over the inner curves of Misaki's ear.
"Ah… my, Misaki, I want you so badly."
The whisper of Usagi-san's breath pulled another guarded moan from Misaki. At the feel of warm lips and tender nips along his jawline, a word escaped him:
The hand on Misaki's shoulder braced him. He felt Akihiko's other hand slip up and trace the waistband of the loose cotton pants he wore, curling around their edge. He felt, not restrained by his rabbit's large hands on his skin, but anchored. The budding heat in his groin had flowered quickly. Long fingers dipped down further and brushed his hardened cock where it lay, pressed up against his low belly. He blushed when Akihiko touched its slick tip.
"So wet, already, Misaki," Akihiko murmured against the skin of Misaki's neck. His tongue traced a patch of raised skin at the base of Misaki's neck, where shoulder and collarbone connected.
It took the author a moment to realize, this time, Misaki's sudden shudder was not a reaction to pleasure.
At the feel of Akihiko's mouth on this scar, Misaki's memory was triggered back to a time, early in his captivity: Korovin had branded his flesh here with teeth during a "play date" with him and Jadir. Misaki began to tremble harder remembering all the other things Korovin had done to him that day...
And the things he had me do to Jadir…
Misaki felt Akihiko's mouth leave him and his lover pull back.
"Misaki… Love? What's wrong?"
As much at the fearful concern in Usagi-san's voice as at the memory, a sob wracked Misaki's lean frame.
Akihiko started when he felt wiry arms wrap around his neck and Misaki pulled the two of them together with a surprising strength. Misaki tried to push the images in his mind from him with the same force he clung to Usagi-san. He pressed a damp cheek against his author's evening-stubbled jaw.
Shifting the hand on his blossom's back, Akihiko pulled the tight shoulders closer. The hand that had been in Misaki's pants moved up to stroke his boy's hair.
"Misaki… W-was it something I did?"
Akihiko cursed himself silently for moving too fast. I knew this was too soon.
He was chagrined; knowing that as tightly as Misaki was pressing against him, there was no way his broken boy couldn't feel his arousal. He'd been wanting to reclaim Misaki for so long, he'd almost filled at their first kiss.
Misaki tried to free his mind but the scene kept unfolding. He bit back hoarse sobs recalling, just before Korovin had bit him, he'd been half dreaming he was with Usagi-san out on their balcony in Tokyo, the setting not so far off from this moment at New Days.
"Mi-chan… I'm so sorry."
Long fingers soothed through his hair, if somewhat clumsily, and Misaki wrapped himself in Usagi-san's low, rough voice.
"It's n-not…" Misaki hiccupped, willing his battered heart to slow down, telling his fearful flesh that the hands holding him were kind, that they would…
Never hurt me…
Misaki suddenly remembered another imagined scenario he'd been lost in during his first terrible "playdate" with Korovin. He and Usagi-san had been on the couch in their apartment, him confessing to Usagi-san.
I was going to tell Usagi-san… I was going to…
Misaki felt his blood rush into his cheeks. A sudden pulse quickened in his temples that now matched the throb of his groin.
I promised myself…
Drawing up his courage, Misaki pressed closer. His voice trembled; his breath shaky as he whispered into Akihiko's ear.
"It's n-not you, Usagi-san… j-just a b-bad memory… Y-you would n-never hurt me."
A careful hand settled on the back of Misaki's neck. Akihiko's own voice was steady, but not without hesitation.
"No, not on purpose, Misaki, of course… But I am far from perfect. When I think back… How, how we met… What happened with Takahiro."
Against his cheek, Akihiko felt Misaki shake his head, then release his hold and push back. Misaki kept his head lowered, refusing to meet his eyes.
"N-no… Usagi-san, you n-never hurt me. Not those t-times either." Though still stuttering, Misaki's voice was stronger this time.
Akihiko could feel the heat of the blush that filled his boy's cheeks and dripped down his neck.
Misaki felt himself bristle at something in his lover's tone. He knew that Usagi-san was trying to be comforting, but it struck him more as condescending.
"Maybe this was too soon, Mi-chan..."
Unconsciously Misaki clenched his fists. He knew that Akihiko had gone into hell for him, that he'd stood with him when his mind had all but broken. He wanted Usagi-san to continue to stay by his side… But as much as he loved how tender Akihiko was being with him, Misaki knew too that he would never heal as he needed to, if Usagi-san couldn't move past thinking about him as some large, damaged child.
Akihiko had leaned forward after Misaki. The author felt his breath leave him when hands suddenly crashed into his chest, knocking him back into the lounger.
After his startled exclamation, Akihiko was seized by a fresh bout of coughing. Hearing this, Misaki's head shot up and new tears rolled down his cheeks.
"Usagi-san! I'm s-so s-sorry!"
Once he'd collected himself, Akihiko looked up into guilt-stricken, green eyes. He cocked his shaggy head to the side and uttered an uncomfortable chuckle.
"No worries, Misaki."
He pushed himself up from the lounger, half propped on lean arms. "What the hell was that for, though?"
An old familiar exasperation welled up in Misaki, along with an old fear.
He felt himself cringe even as he uttered his beloved name for his author.
I have to do this… I need him to see me as getting better, as a man who will be able to stand at his side, and on my own.
Setting a hand only slightly more gentle on Usagi-san's chest, just over his scar, Misaki pushed him back again. Lavender eyes widened as Misaki leaned over him.
"I am sound enough to know a few things. I know you have never hurt me… Not even at the start.
"If you had, I'm not so stupid that I would have hung around, or not gone home and had Nii-chan come back and kick your ass!"
Misaki drew a deep breath and his face flushed a furious red. "And right now I know what I need too!"
"What I need… What I want is…
"I w-want you…" Misaki grimaced; his anger had kept his voice smooth up till this point with nary a stutter, but he couldn't stop now.
Misaki sat high on Akihiko's hips, his lover's arousal occasionally prodding his backside as the man beneath him shifted. He could feel his body trembling with tension as he waited for Usagi-san's response.
"Misaki…" Akihiko's eyes were wide with wonder. "You said my name…" The import of this was not lost on him.
Misaki couldn't help but bite his bottom lip as he nodded. Under him Akihiko bucked up just slightly and a low growl rumbled in throat.
"Say it again. Please, Misaki." Akihiko's voice had found a new degree of huskiness.
Pulling up every ounce of his courage Misaki leaned forward and took Akihiko's lips, kissing them gently, but with purpose. He lifted his head just high enough to stare into awestruck, pale eyes.
"I want you… Akihiko."
Hearing this, Akihiko surged forward only to find himself gently restrained by the hand over his heart.
"P-please, Akihiko… Let me d-do this… I… I need to."
Understanding glowed in lavender eyes. An uncomfortable smirk curled the corner of Akihiko's mouth, but he nodded and slowly lay back, settling in. One hand, however, closed over Misaki's sweating palm on his chest. Misaki moved, taking Usagi-san's hand and entwining their fingers. His other hand feathered over Akihiko's jaw. He watched his lover's wonderful eyes close, Usagi-san's strong neck tip back. Misaki's lips followed his trembling fingers.
Tentatively, Misaki kissed down Akihiko's neck. Every brush of his lips thrilled Akihiko and he grrr'ed his encouragement.
Spurred on by the sounds Usagi-san was making, Misaki's mouth grew more adamant as it drifted lower. He kissed across collarbones, down between Usagi-san's taut pecs, hovered over his scar. Then he slid sideways. His lengthening bangs tickled across heated skin as he moved to a nipple. Kitten-like, Misaki extended his tongue and licked around Akihiko's swelling bud. He felt Akihiko's hand still-entwined in his tighten, as his lover arched up into this touch.
Green eyes widened at the vision of Usagi-san beneath him, the man's breath quickening. Even as pale and thin as Usagi-san was, Misaki found his lover incredibly beautiful and incredibly arousing.
Shifting, Misaki switched over to the other side of Akihiko's chest. He suckled and teased, gently worrying the hard nub of Akihiko's slicked nipple with careful teeth. The rough sounds of pleasure this elicited made Misaki's leaking cock throb even harder.
As his mouth had moved down, his hips had shifted lower as well. Misaki could feel Usagi-san now bucking lightly up into him, seeking friction. He responded, pushing back. Through the thin fabric of his pants he could feel his heated sac pressed against Akihiko's hard length as he ground down.
At this pleading exclamation Misaki felt a soft growl escape him. Akihiko's pale eyes opened and he blinked in surprise. He smiled seeing his boy wide-eyed as well.
Despite how bright his new blush burned in his cheeks, Misaki dropped his head back down and kept going. Akihiko kept his eyes open now, watching entranced, as the dark head moved lower.
"Ah, Please, Misaki…"Akihiko's voice was weighted with want.
Slipping down even further so that he now straddled Akihiko's knees, Misaki leaned over and fumbled the closures of Usagi-san's trousers with trembling fingers. Narrow hips lifted to assist him even before the soft sounds of buckle and zip opening up had ceased. Wrapping his fingers around the waistband of trousers and shorts, Misaki pulled down, careful of his rabbit's straining erection. He watched the thick length of it shift as it was freed.
Akihiko grunted with pleasure to feel Misaki's hand take him up. From the head of the lounger he watched his beloved hesitate, then Misaki dipped his head lower and the author could feel the heat of his boy's ragged breaths on his skin.
From where he hovered, Misaki stared at Usagi-san's cock, dark in color, its sheathed tip, shiny and weeping. His mind was filled once again with terrible memories, but this was Usagi-san and not Korovin, the color of flesh was different, Korovin was cut where Akihiko was not. Leaning even closer, Misaki inhaled. His nostrils quivered, filled with the scent of soap and cigarettes and Usagi-san's own particular musk. He glanced up when he felt the hand that still held his, release him.
This hand, recently heated by the warmth of his own, brushed his falling bangs to the side and Misaki could now clearly see his lover's face looking down at him. Usagi-san remained silent, his eyes were filled with tears of desire, but his expression said that he would honor Misaki's decision whatever it was.
Akihiko's pale head dropped back into the cushions when he felt the bridge of Misaki's nose brush down his shaft in answer and tender lips press a kiss into the blond tangle around its base before withdrawing. A beautiful growl rumbled up from his chest as a velvet tongue pressed to his head. Akihiko felt the hand gripping him pull his foreskin back and a gloriously hot, wet mouth encircled his tip.
Misaki's heart pounded with both the thrill and fear of his actions. He was surprised by the mild taste of Usagi-san's pre-emissive slick and his tongue swirled around seeking more of this new flavor. The heated groans coming from above him fueled his boldness and Misaki slipped deeper onto his lover's shaft. His hand joined as he stroked, pulling as much pleasure from Usagi-san as he could.
Above Misaki, Akihiko was awash with emotions. He'd longed for ages for his lover to take such initiative, to claim him like this. He found his pleasure stumble, however when he marveled at Misaki's skillful mouth, and then realized how this skill had been acquired. He pushed this unwanted realization quickly to the side.
All that matters now is that my Misaki is here with me now, that we're doing this together, and that after this, he'll know no other.
With this thought, Akihiko felt himself stirred in new ways. He couldn't help himself: he shifted, and one of his large hands drifted down to gently catch his flower's dripping chin.
Misaki started at the touch. He looked up and slid off of Akihiko, his doe eyes large with apprehension.
Did I do something wrong? Is Usagi-san unhappy with me?
"Misaki," Akihiko whispered, his eyes filled with equal measures of love and hunger. "I want us to share this moment."
Cocking his head, Misaki gazed at Akihiko in confusion. He sat frozen and then allowed large hands to take his shoulders and raise him up, shift him to the side. Kneeling there silently, green eyes watched as Akihiko kicked out of his trousers. Misaki looked down in surprise when his rabbit's fingers then moved to the drawstring of his own pants. Raising himself higher on his knees, Misaki allowed them to slip from his hips. He ducked his head as he scrambled out of his lower garments, his face burning with understanding at last.
Once they were both bared, Akihiko laid back again, reclining. Misaki moved on the lounger so that his knees now rested on the cushions at the top of Usagi-san's shoulders. He stretched his lean body over his rabbit's long torso. Dipping down on one elbow, resting just to the outside of Akihiko's hip, Misaki took up the man's length with his free hand again. His mouth engulfed Usagi-san once more, slipping over his slick, spit-cooled cock.
Misaki hummed around his author's length as he felt large hands cup his bare cheeks and part him. He felt Usagi-san's nose nuzzle his sac and brush up the crease of his ass. A hot tongue pressed against the sensitive skin between his balls and his entrance, and he felt his hips pulled down as Usagi-san sought to anoint his hidden place. Misaki released Akihiko's cock with a gasp, when Usagi-san found his pucker and an eager tongue flickered there, before pushing in.
"Usagi-san," Misaki called the name without thinking, his voice heated. "Don't…"
His protest ceased immediately as a cool hand took hold of his balls and stroked them. Akihiko left off his most intimate kisses and shifted Misaki's hips again.
"There is no place on you I don't want to know Misaki. I want to taste every inch of your skin, commit every cell to my memory."
"Stupid, Akihiko…" Misaki had regained enough presence to chide. "Don't say such…"
He lost all connection to language however, when his author's mouth took hold of him from its new position. His lean frame was wracked with an ecstatic shiver as Usagi-san swallowed his length to its base. All Misaki's limbs grew weak as his system was overcome with pleasure.
Sensing his boy's near collapsing state Akihiko shifted and soon they each lay, top to tails, on their sides. In this new position the lovers curled into each other. Misaki took Usagi-san in his mouth again. Mouths and hands worked in tandem, each lover lost both in service and in sensation. After a short time, Misaki could feel Akihiko reaching his peak.
Before he was able to bring Usagi-san off, however, his own body spasmed. Misaki felt himself spill down his lover's skilled throat and he groaned as the tremors of his climax rocked him. Akihiko released Misaki's spent member and kissed a scarred hip where his boy's over-sized shirt had ridden up.
After a brief pause, Misaki continued his motions. Akihiko picked up Misaki's still turgid cock in a sticky hand and licked its tip. Then his eyes closed and his head dipped back; he uttered a hoarse cry as he came.
Misaki's mouth filled with hot, salty seed and he swallowed this hungrily. He wanted the taste of Usagi-san to obliterate his memory of any other. His hand continued to milk his lover until he'd pulled the last drops of dew from Usagi-san's thick stem. Then he lay his head down on the cushion gasping.
Akihiko rose and gathered Misaki, turning him around, until they lay side by side, spooned into each other. Misaki lifted his damp head and gazed at Akihiko with hazy eyes, but here was no doubt that a new flicker of pride glowed in his green gaze as well.
Akihiko said nothing, he just smiled and pressed a kiss to his beloved's sweaty brow. Misaki dipped his head, his still sex-flushed cheeks pinking further. Then he lay his head back down and snuggled in. One of Akihiko's hands drifted down and under Misaki's overlarge shirt, pulling his lover tight into him. The other ran lazy fingers through tangled brown hair.
These stilled in their stroking when Misaki murmured softly.
"I love you, Usagi-san…"
Akihiko pressed another kiss to the top of a dark head and chuckled lightly when he felt Misaki slightly squirm at this.
"I love you too Misaki."
After this the lovers fell into silence. Soon their sleepy breaths were lost beneath the music of evening insects. Within their sheltered enclosure on the balcony, the air cooled and shadows slipped into dusk. Darkness descended upon New Days, but Misaki and Akihiko rested more easily in it, each carrying a new lightness within him.
Sorry for the long silence. Thank you to all who kept checking in.
Just a note in response to an anonymous review: I haven't felt any of my reviewers have been stalkerish. I love hearing from you. It is the only payment a FF writer gets for his labors, so, it means a hell of a lot when people are enthusiastic about a story.
Oh and in case you're wondering… I'm not done yet. I'm not quitting this fic until after Aki's conception. So there will be some more lemon forthcoming. Hopefully you won't have to wait so long.
Love to my sweet readers!