River flopped onto her alleged bed (did she really actually ever use it?) in her cell in Stormcage, eagerly bent over and scribbling what looked like nonsense to Private Matthews. He was a new recruit to Stormcage, and, eager to prove himself to his Officer and fellow guards, had volunteered to patrol Block D, which, at the time he had been confused by the raucous laughter that had ensued, and cries of, "Good luck mate!" and, "I give him an hour!"
He frowned, scratching the side of his face as he leaned against the bars of Cell 509, occupied by River Song. He had heard many stories about her from his fellow guards, but how could this woman who looked so innocent really have escaped more than a hundred times, before returning and asking why the hell her breakfast wasn't in her cell?
"River Song, huh?" He said, and she looked up at him with a curve of a smile.
"That's me." She replied, a hint of sarcasm in her voice. "Private Matthews I take it?" She asked, her tone perfectly polite, and again he found himself wondering if he had got this woman mixed up with someone else.
"Yes ma'am." He replied, stiffening slightly, proud that he was finally accepted as a Private.
"You must be new." She mused thoughtfully, staring at him with intense blue eyes that sent shivers down the trained soldiers spine.
"What makes you say that?" He asked, startled that she knew so much about him.
She gives a laugh, and marks the page in her diary, before sitting cross-legged on the bed and facing him, "If you weren't new, you would be walking past here not making eye contact." She tilts her head, giving him a mocking smile, and he shook his head, with a sharp-toothed grin.
"Maybe I'm braver than the others ma'am." He replied, stepping away from the cell slightly as he saw another guard approaching.
"We'll see about that." She replied, and he laughed again.
He stood with feet slightly spread apart, back straight as his commanding Officer strolled towards him, before saluting him with a, "Sir!"
"At ease, Private." Officer Nathan said swiftly, his eyes filled with suspicion at the sight of River. "Surprised your still with us Miss Song." He stepped towards her cage, checking his watch with a twisted smile. "Your friend finally bail on you?"
She laughed, standing up and saying, "Just running a little late, I'm afraid."
There was no mistaking the direct undermining of the Officer's authority, but Matthews was stunned to see that the Officer merely laughed, before tipping his beret at her, "Night Miss Song. Try not to be too long."
"Can't guarantee it." She replied in a dreamy voice, before drifting back towards her bed, and winking at the shell-shocked looking Matthews, who scrambled to catch up with his superior.
"Sir?" He asked, and the Officer turned to him, looking slightly impatient.
"What just?" He gestured from Nathan to River, incapable of speech.
Nathan studied him for a moment, before muttering, "Newbie..." He clapped a hand on the young Private's shoulder, "You'll find out eventually that the only way to deal with River Song...is to leave her be."
He nodded dumbly, but as he strolled past her cell, determinedly not making eye contact, he could swear he saw something blue out of the corner of his eye...
"Sorry I'm late." The Doctor breathed, stepping out of the TARDIS, looking bedraggled, but still as eager as ever. "Had a problem with the..."
"Co-ordinates?" River asked, her laughter a light musical tone.
"Maybe..." He cracked her a smile, before flopping on the bed beside her, running a hand through his floppy brown hair, looking distracted.
"What's wrong?" She asked, noting that he wasn't already suggesting they escape from Stormcage for the night before someone realized just who kept breaking her out most nights.
He blinked suddenly, and turned to face her, with the smallest of smiles, "We just got married." He said, in a low whisper, as if not believing it himself.
She frowned, but a look of understanding passed through her facial features, and she nodded slowly, "Okay."
He looked confused for a second, and queried, "We just got married...I'm meant to be dead, and we're both risking both our lives and the whole of the universe from potential mass danger by seeing each other...and all you have to say is okay?"
"What else is there to say, sweetie?" She replied, moving closer to him, and his eyes close for a second with a thrill of pleasure as she kisses him gently.
When they withdraw, he gives her the tiniest of winks, before standing, extending his arm towards her, "Shall we, wife?" He asked, pride and happiness lighting up his sea-green eyes.
Laughing, she jumped to her feet, entangling her arm with his, saying, "We shall."
When Private Matthews summoned up the courage to complete his patrol fifteen minutes later, River Song was gone, and all that was left was a note reading,
Don't wait up for me.