Disclaimer: I don't own anything below.
"All right, Harry, bed time," Lily said, scooping her son up off the floor where he was playing with James and Sirius and carrying him towards the staircase.
"Stowry! Stowry!" Baby Harry demanded his Mother, sticking his lower lip out in an adorable pout. "Pwease, Mummy?"
Lily looked at her son's face, and couldn't help but give in. "Fine," she sighed, "one story."
Harry clapped in delight, running over to his Dad and jumping in his lap. "Which one should we read tonight?" Lily mused aloud.
"Let's give the lad a show," Sirius said with a wicked grin, "The Three Little Pigs. I call being the Third Pig!"
Peter groaned. "I wanted to be the Third Pig," he whined, glaring at Sirius.
"You can be the First Pig, Pete," Sirius said.
"I'll be the Second Pig," James said, standing and handing Harry off to Lily, who sat on the couch with him. "So, that leaves . . ." he looked at Remus, grinning.
"Moony gets to be the Big, Bad Wolf," Sirius finished, his eyes glinting maliciously.
Remus glared at his grinning best friends. "That's not even remotely funny."
"Get up here, Wolfy," James said, him and Sirius each grabbing one of Remus' arms and hoisting him to his feet, grabbing the book out of his hands and tossing it onto the chair he had just vacated. Peter was making his house with his wand, transforming paper into straw and piling it up.
"Come on, Remus," Sirius said, clapping him on the back, "Just think of Harry. It's all for his entertainment."
Remus looked down at Harry, who smiled and said "Uncle Wemus!" reaching his arms up for Remus to hold him. Remus sighed, smiling down at Harry and patting his head, "Fine, I'll do it, but only because of Harry."
James, Sirius and Peter cheered from within their pig houses, which were now complete.
"Okay, you guys better do this fast, because it's already past Harry's bedtime," Lily warned, kissing Harry's head.
"It'll be quick, Love," James promised, peeking his head out of his Pig house and winking at her. "Oh, and you'll have to narrate, Remus."
Remus cleared his throat loudly and then began. "Once there were three little pigs," Peter, James and Sirius all peeked out of their houses and waved at Harry, who waved both his little arms, grinning widely.
"And there came a time for them to leave their home and seek their fortunes," Remus continued. "Before they left, their Mother told them -" he stared at Lily.
"Oh, okay," she said, and then continued in a low voice, "Whatever you do, do it the best that you can, because that's the way to get along in this world."
Harry laughed gleefully at his Mum, while Remus raised an eyebrow.
"Lily, Love, it's the Mother speaking, not the Father," James said, laughing as his wife blushed, hiding her face in her hair.
Remus shook his head, smiling amusedly, "Anyway, the first little pig made his house out of straw, because it was the easiest thing to do."
Peter stood outside his house, adding the finishing touches to his roof and then smiled proudly. "That was hard work," he said, pretending to wipe sweat from his brow. James snorted in the next house over.
Peter went into his house and pretended to do some dishes, whistling under his breath. "Then the wolf came to the house of straw," Remus continued, walking over to Peter's house.
"Little pig, little pig, let me in!" Remus growled, banging on the door.
"Not by the hair on my chiney-chin-chin," Peter answered haughtily, going to the door and holding it shut tightly.
"Then I'll huff and I'll puff and I'll blow your house in!" Remus warned, but Peter didn't budge, her just stared at the door in worry.
Harry watched the whole thing without moving, completely fascinated.
Remus huffed and puffed and then blew on Peter's house, using his wand to make it fall over onto Peter.
Peter squeaked fearfully, running from his fallen house to James', banging on the door for James to open it for him. James swung the door open and slammed it the second Peter was safely inside.
Harry cooed when he saw his Daddy's face, trying to get out of his Mum's arms to go see James. Lily held him tight and whispered, "Wait a minute, Harry."
Remus walked over to the second house, saying, "Then the wolf came to the house of sticks." He knocked on the door loudly, yelling, "Little pigs, little pigs, let me in!"
"Not by the hair on our chiney-chin-chins!" James and Peter hollered back, both with their backs leaning against the door, their legs pushing to keep it shut as Remus pushed.
"Then I'll huff and I'll puff and I'll blow your house in!" Remus said, taking a step back and huffing and puffing and then blowing the house down.
James let out a very girly scream - which made both Lily and Harry laugh in amusment - and him and Peter sprinted towards Sirius' house, throwing the door open and letting themselves in.
"Don't you knock?" Sirius asked, raising an eyebrow from his place near the fire. He took a bite of the marshmallow he'd been roasting, "Didn't your Mum teach you manners?"
James and Peter ignored him.
"Then the wolf went over to the house made of bricks," Remus said, walking calmly over to the Sirius' house, and then knocking loudly. "Little pigs, little pigs, let me in!"
"Not by the hair on our-" James and Peter were cut off as Sirius screamed loudly, backing up against the far wall in freight and throwing cups and other dishes at the wall.
"GET AWAY, YOU EVIL WOLF!" he screamed, cowering behind the counter and throwing book at his door.
"I'll huff and puff and blow your house in if you don't give me something to eat!" Remus called in.
Sirius ran over, threw open the door and pushed James and Peter out, slamming the door behind them. "Eat them! That's my piggy sacrifice! Just let me LIVE!" he screamed, backing against the wall, almost in tears.
Remus chased James and Peter out of the room, and then made eating noises so it sounded like Remus was eating them. Harry gulped, staring at the empty door, waiting for his Dad to come back.
Sirius opened his door slowly, and, seeing everyone gone, slumped onto the floor. "I'm so depressed, now that my friends are dead!" he said, putting a hand over his eyes, "I don't know how I will go on! I'll have to kill myself." he said firmly, then walked into his Kitchen and got a fake knife and then proceeded to stab himself through the armpit.
Sirius fell to the floor and flopped a few times like a fish, before going still.
Since they were all dead, they came back into the room and bowed, grinning as they watched Harry clap and laugh.
Harry jumped off Lily's lap and ran over to Remus, growling and showing his teeth. "Uncle Wemus, Hawy be woof too!" he cooed, looking up at Remus in admiration.
"You want to be a wolf, too?" Remus asked, his eyes going wide in shock. He smiled when Harry nodded, "Okay, Harry, get Daddy."
James, Sirius and Peter all ran into Sirius's house - because it was the only one left standing - and Harry ran to the door, knocking like Remus had done.
"Wittle pigs, wet me in!" he tried to sound menacing, but Lily couldn't help by "aww" at the adorable expression on his face.
All three boys in the house pretended to scream and yell in terror, and Harry fought hard to keep his laughter in, trying to look menacing.
Remus sat down next to Lily, laughing as Harry went around the back and scared them all. Lily smiled at him. "You make a nice wolf," she said.
"Thanks, I've had some practice," he said, giving her a tiny smile.
"Harry thinks its cool," Lily said, then elbowed him, "She wants to be just like his Uncle Remus."
"Uncle Wemus," he corrected her with a grin.
Lily rolled her eyes, looking back at her son, who had just finished eating Peter and Sirius and was chasing James around in circles, laughing hysterically.
Lily laughed as James let Harry tackle him and screamed as Harry bit him. James closed his eyes and made sure not to move, Harry stared down at him.
"Mummy, I killed Daddy!" Harry called, laughing down at James, who popped his tongue out of his mouth and lolled it around the side of his face.
"You know what that means, right?" Lily asked, running over and swinging her son around in a circle, making him giggle. "Bed time," she said. "Go say goodnight to everyone."
After Harry was done giving everyone hugs, he ran back into Lily's arms. She walked up the stairs, Harry resting his head in the crook of her neck and staring at his Dad.
James smiled and waved at Harry until he was out of view, and then collapsed on the couch.
"That was a great play," Sirius said, grinning like a madman. "I just can't believe Harry ate me."
"And me!" Peter added, rubbing his arm. "He actually bit me, too!"
The other three boys laughed.
"He'll learn as he gets older," James said, "Not that he can bite very hard, anyway."
"I'm going to bruise, I'm sure of it," Peter whined, staring at his forearm. Sirius rolled his eyes.
"I still think it was awesome," he said. Remus nodded in agreement.
"Deeply disturbing was what it was," Lily said, once she got back downstairs, Harry fast asleep in his bed. "I wouldn't be surprised if Harry is scarred from that forever."
James grinned at her, pulling her into the seat next to his and throwing his arm around her shoulder. "Are you kidding? He loved it!"
"You have to admit, it was funny," Sirius said.
"We all stayed in character until the end," Remus added.
"I'll give you that much, I suppose" Lily said, smiling at them.
James grinned, "Tomorrow we should do Red Riding Hood!"
"Let's do one without a wolf," Remus said.
"How about Goldilocks and the Three Bears?" Sirius asked, "That could be fun."
"I call being Goldilocks!" Peter said immediately.
Sirius and James laughed. Lily smiled, shaking her head.
"It's all yours, Peter," Remus said.