Banner: #1 Leah
Summary: She was everything he wanted her to be but it was not enough.
Pre-Readers: Niamhg, Wolves Rule and Deadgrlsprstr666
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I sat in the dingy train carriage looking through the rain pebbled glass as the washed out walls and buildings slipped past. The cold and the rain reminded me so much of home.
The train pulled into the sooty old Victorian station and I followed the rest of the worker ants and trailed off the platform and down the ramp to the street below. This small European city had become so cosmopolitan over the last twenty years that there were many six foot tall females pounding the pavement from different countries. I didn't stand out as much as I did back home. In fact it was quite amusing to see such a mixture of sizes of both male and female. The guys definitely didn't work out here like they did back home but seemed to enjoy watching and playing soccer or football as they call it. Most people I meet thought I was of Spanish descent I have not bothered to correct them. I keep away from the Temple Bar area which was known as the main tourist spot just on the very small chance I would be recognised. I really doubted anyone from home would ever make it to Europe let alone have a reason to visit this small Island but I never knew when the spirits wanted to fuck with me next.
I walked quickly up the damp dreary street and through the pedestrian gates of the university and hastened toward biology department. I worked my ass off for the last five years and managed to get a degree and I was just days away from my masters. The day I left La Push I never thought I would ever amount to anything other than a waitress and that was if I was lucky. I just about passed my High School Diploma not because I was dumb but because my stupid ass boyfriend had dumped me for my cousin a week before finals. I shook my head thinking of that day and the tremors of a phase ran through me but I quickly pulled myself together. I walked into the study room that I shared with the other Students. I had to hand in my thesis and then technically that was it until my Viva with an external examiner in the next week. Then all going well I would have my results in a month. No matter what I was very proud of myself. I had no idea where I was going to go with my qualifications but I was a qualified RGN and soon to have a masters in nursing studies. I was always interested in medicine but I didn't want to spend another three years in college and god knows how many years training to become a doctor. I felt like nursing was perfect for me and was also multifunctional, I could work anywhere in the world and even if I didn't want to work in hospitals there was always the need for my training in other industries.
I sat down and pulled out my lap top, I checked my emails. My supervisor had reviewed my thesis and felt it was acceptable to submit once I amended the few small errors he found. I made these amendments quickly and hit print. I printed the six hundred page document and went over to the printer that quickly shot my pages out at a rate of sixty per minute. I happily went to the binder and bound it with a nice green cover that reminded me of the forest of La Push. Hell what was with me today it wasn't even ten am and I had spent the morning doing nothing but thinking about home. Thinking about HIM was normal, I usually did that at least a hundred times a day, thinking about La Push usually only happened a few times a week.
I hear a few bitchy comments from the females in my class because I was first to submit again and in a way I didn't blame them. I still had my werewolf speed and memory so learning and report writing was quicker for me. Unfairly I had to pay more for my fees as I wasn't European so I had to work full time, therefore being organised and having my thesis in early was a necessity.
Working as a waitress didn't pay so well over here, and tips were not something you could live on. I was pretty lucky I was 'discovered' by a photographer who worked on catalogues. I guess I should be thankful to the wolf for something as it made me look good in underwear and swimwear. The companies I posed for only sold clothes in Europe so there was no need to worry about anyone from my past finding me. Not that it mattered any more even Mom on our weekly phone call stopped trying to convince me to come home or find out where I was. She knew my heart couldn't take it. It had already been punched to mush and sat on.
I popped my documents into an envelope and left them with the school secretary. It was time to go make some money. I slipped down the stairs and made my way towards the City Green. Go figure we have to take the photos for summer swimwear in the middle of winter outside in a public park, again I thank the spirits for my hot body temperature. Who knew wolves would be perfectly adapted for modelling?
I spend around four hours been primped and preened and photographed. It definitely was the most boring job but it certainly paid well, €3000 for four hours work. Some of the crew were going for drinks after but I had to get home. I had a pleasant relationship with them but I refrained from socialising when I could. I didn't have time or need for friendships. I was also wary of attracting any attention from the single guys. Once they had some Dutch courage they would invariable try something which would result in awkwardness when I refused or worse nastiness.
I rushed back to the train station to catch my train and squeezed into the crammed carriage. I spent the sixty minutes of the journey staring out the window at the passing scenery comparing it to La Push. Even in winter the sea here was sedate compared to the breaking waves of the Pacific Ocean. I lived close to the train station so I was able to walk quickly to my house. I was tired from the day and not to mention the commute. I lived outside the city close to the forest and the sea and it was just as wet and cold as home but it was not La Push. However over the last few years it had become home. I may never go back but I would always miss First Beach, my family and of course Him. I woke every day to a thumping pain in my heart because he was not here or close to me. My wolf who I had managed to subdue over the last couple of years still yearned for her mate, for her imprint.
"Mommy, Mommy look what I got in school today." I was jumped on as I walked in the door by a dark bouncing ball of energy, just like his father.
"Let me see. Oh wow! You got a gold star on your homework. I'm so pleased with you baby, you did really well." I hugged him close to me. It still amazed me the emotions I felt about my son, nothing prepared me for the love I felt towards my baby. I don't know what I would have done without him I really wouldn't have survived the last six years.
Caroline came out of the kitchen with her handbag in her hand. "He was as good as gold; he has already done his homework for tomorrow and helped me make cupcakes for your tea."
"Thank you, for taking such good care of him." I whisper.
"Think nothing of it. He is an angel." She smiles as she lets herself out of our small house.
"Well little man, lead me to those cupcakes." I giggled at his excited little face. He was five and he was a better cook than me already. Mom would be so proud; it's a pity I can't tell her about him. Mom was the only person I spoke too from home, but now she was marrying that leech lovers father I was unsure if I could stay in contact with her, I didn't need any reminders of that bitch. I hung up if she ever spoke of him or her, the spirits must be laughing their heads off that Bella would soon be my step sister.
We had a messy tea of cupcakes and milk and then I gave my little boy his bath and read him his favourite story of the week. I always felt teary eyed when I watched him sleep. He really looked like his father then. I don't think there was anything of me in him.
I went and got ready for bed myself, I needed some sleep before he woke again at five am. I lay my head down on my pillow and the memories came churning back. I have learnt over the years to just let them flood my mind, once I have relived them I will be able to sleep, if I try to block them, I will be awake all night.
When Bella had dumped Jacob when he was close to death, after the new born battle he finally realised it was not to be. I knew that I had imprinted on him after my first phase but I was never too sure if it had been a double imprint. It tore me up that yet again I was not good enough. Sam could not fight the imprint to stay with me. He chose to fondle and fuck my best friend, my cousin on the same night he met her. However MY imprint had no problem, ignoring it to be in love with someone who didn't actually want him.
Nonetheless, I was the good little imprint and I had been what he wanted me to be. A friend and to my horror his confidant, he came to me for advice over her. He knew I hated her but the imprint gods laughed at me as I tried to help him get the girl he loved, while the girl that loved him was fucked over again. I found out from Billy subtly that he didn't think Jake would ever imprint as he was the true alpha he even hinted that he had originally thought that a female wolf may be the perfect mate of the alpha as she would be technically alpha female. How I laughed at that. Nobody knew that Jake was my imprint I had kept it well hidden behind my bitchy and poisonous thoughts but Billy always had an uncanny way of knowing things.
After she left him drowning in a sea of abandonment, Jake let me take care of him and nurse him back to health; I think it took longer than it should because he was so broken emotionally. That first week we had to wash and dress him and force feed him. I cracked one day and threatened to go and eat his fucking leech lover if he didn't snap out of it.
Slowly but surely he began to show affection towards me, held my hand, showed kindness to me, offered me food from his plate. Nobody really noticed, or so I thought, until Paul caught me one day and asked what the deal was? I tried to brush him off but Paul was a hell of a lot more astute than anyone gave him credit.
The day the toxic invitation to her wedding arrived he went berserk, he tore up his house and ran, and I was the one that chased after him. We were both in wolf form. I was faster than him but he had a good ten minutes on me. The bastard, Sam tried to call me back, he was friggen' alpha and didn't realise I was chasing my imprint. We all knew alpha orders did not work when it concerned an imprint. Stupid fool was confused why I didn't turn right around. It was Paul who told them all to phase back that I had it under control. I eventually caught up with him somewhere in Canada. He was devastated. He had phased to human and was on his knees, broken again. I returned to human and just held him to me. He raged about why was he not good enough? How long he loved her, how much he knew she loved him. His muttering over it being as easy-as-breathing, and if there were no monsters or magic, it was scary as hell. I really thought he had lost his mind. I held him tight and rocked him to and fro until he calmed down. We just lay there quietly both exhausted and naked, neither of us had clothes and we had both phased without regard to needing them later. I went to move away but he held me close.
"Leah you have always been here for me…Why?" He whispered into my neck.
"Because you don't deserve to be treated so badly, you are better than any man I know let alone leech." I tried to reply nonchalantly then when I lifted my head I saw the tears run down his cheeks I couldn't help myself but reach up and kiss them away. I would do anything for this man, anything to make him happy to make him stronger and if I was being honest with myself I would do anything to make him mine. Yes he was my imprint and I was programmed that way but I think I had fallen in love with him as well. Even though I told him what a fool he was chasing after the leech whore I was impressed how he didn't let anything, certainly not magic get in the way of his heart. Sam Uley could never be that man!
He stiffened pulled back and gazed into my face with a confused look. I don't know what he saw but he surprised me when he smashed his lips to mine. I was in shock and took a couple of seconds to respond but as soon as the surprise wore off my fingers were in his silky soft hair as my lips and tongue wrestled with his. I could feel his thick heavy cock pushing against my naked stomach as I eventually allowed him to dominate. He rolled me over and began nipping and licking my neck and collarbone with his hot perfect mouth. He ran his calloused hands up and down my stomach, my nipples were begging for his caress. I was writhing around in a bed of leaves with my imprint splayed out on top of me, his cock was now just over my mound and I could feel my hips twitching trying to guide it home.I was going to burst, every nerve ending in my body was focused on the area between my legs and his fucking huge shaft, holy spirits I had no idea baby Alpha was packing such a big load, I have never seen or felt something so big before. I was no virgin but I was even a little nervous that it wouldn't fit. My wiggling and moaning was obviously having a strong effect on him but I needed more, I grabbed his head and pushed it down to my breast I needed to feel his mouth on my nipple, I wanted him to touch me, more than he had ever touched her. I knew he still loved her but I would be whatever he wanted me to be and if this helped him feel loved and wanted I will be with him like this every day until he tells me to leave.
He sucks one breast then moves to the other where he nips my nipple I thought I was going to die. I lower my hand to find his fabulous cock and caress it, he growls into my breast. The vibrations alone make my juices run even more. I lower my hand and take in his sac, I gently rub his two balls together with one hand. I can feel him begin to move his hips in rhythm with my hand. I separate my legs and I wrap them around his waist, his hot pulsing cock now teasing my wet entrance. I can't help but thrust up towards it trying to gain some sort of friction. I deposit my juices on his tip and the lubrication is making me crazy. I look up towards him as he has frozen into position both of his hands stilled on my body.
"It's up to you Jake." I pant. "I'm all yours if you want me." I reach my hand up and cup his jaw and whisper. "It's up to you." By this stage I was finding the friction of his cock was taking me places that I had never been before, the tight coil in my stomach, the increased nerve tingling's were making me feel like I was going to explode anyway. Hell. I wanted him inside of me. Thrusting with all his might while I clamped onto him, pumping him of all he had.
Gently he lowered his front half onto me and looked at me closely his eyes darkened with desire. "Are you sure Leah? I don't know if I can keep this out of the pack mind."
"Fuck them Jake, it's time we both were allowed have something for ourselves what we feel for each other is nobody's business but ours." I rasped, we couldn't stop now, I just couldn't.
He gave me a small smile and kissed me gently on my mouth at the same time he thrust into me, for a virgin he sure knew what he was doing, he touched places that I didn't even know existed. He continued to thrust with increased beat until the feelings that erupted from me where raw and overwhelming I closed my eyes as I reached towards the crescent of the wave of euphoria. I know I screamed his name and he roared so loudly as he came all the animals for around twenty miles fled.
He collapsed onto me after his spasms stopped. "Wow." He whispered.
I let out a small giggle. "Yep, that was a wow."
"Is it always like that?" He murmured pulling me over onto his sweat slicked chest, holding me close as we both tried to catch our breath.
"Nope, that was the first time it was ever like that. For me, anyway." I snuggled into his chest taking comfort from his touch and the gentle lull of his heartbeat, I was completely wiped out.
I fell asleep cradled in his arms that night and when we woke in the morning we made love slowly and gently for hours. We hardly spoke, we just loved, and licked, and nuzzled moving together until we both exploded over and over again. Thank the spirits for wolf stamina we just couldn't stop, within ten minutes of coming down from an orgasm we needed more.
Eventually hunger won out. Neither wanted to go home and I hated eating as a wolf so Jake caught a deer and we cooked some over a fire. Not my favourite dinner but it was good enough for now. I thought my heart was going to explode with happiness. I knew he still thought of HER but he was happy here with me. We could make it work. I wanted to tell him about the imprint but I didn't think he was ready to hear it. He still had not let the leech lover go, and until he did I couldn't tell him. We eventually made our way home three days later. We knew they would come looking for us if we stayed away much longer and neither of us wanted to be caught by one of our brothers.
When we reached La Push we phased and he reached his hand out to me. "I don't understand how or why this happened but I don't regret it Leah and I don't want it to stop either."
I just held his hand reached up and kissed him. "We are just being us, and we will continue to be us for as long as you want." We ran quickly into his house before we were seen. I grabbed the first shower and then swiftly dressed in an old sundress of Rachel's that Jake had found. When we were both decent, Jake wanted to go to Sam's because he knew we'd be in trouble for being missing for so long. He left a note for his Dad and we walked slowly towards Sam's. The pack was there when we arrived but nobody said anything to upset either of us although Paul was looking at me from the corner of his eye.
As always my body began to shake when my mind raced back to that fuck awful day in that muffin making cow's house. I watched my world be knocked from its axis a second time. Before I knew which way was up Bella Swan had waltzed into the house. You could hear a pin drop we all got such a fright, she had broken Jake's heart and was preparing to marry the leech and none of us had expected to see her again, let alone be alive and well and fucking throwing herself at my Jake. She burst into the room and was in his lap crying into his neck how she really loved him not darling Edward. She was so sorry for leaving him and would he please forgive her. My heart stopped beating when I saw him wrap his arms around her skinny body and kiss her cheek, telling her it was all okay, that he still loved her.
I don't know what I would have done if it wasn't for Paul, he had dragged me out of the there and we were at my house within five minutes. He ran quickly into my home and came out with two bags. I think we stopped for him to get stuff and then we made our way onto the 101 and he drove what seemed like days as I just stared into space. My heart was hurting so bad, how could I still be in one piece this far away from my imprint? Typical, I don't even imprint right. Oh Spirits! All I could see was him holding her to him with such gentleness, kissing her, sniffing her. I should be happy that he has finally got what he wanted but I couldn't bring myself to be happy for him. I thought I was going to die when Sam dumped me. That was nothing compared to the way I was feeling now. How could I live like this? How could I even breathe? He was the reason I got out of my bed every day, he was the reason I existed and he didn't want me.
Paul eventually pulled over into a sleazy motel in Oregon, where I sat on the bed and continued to stare at the wall while he slept. He got up the next day and we drove some more. A few days later we arrived in Denver. We stopped at a camp site for a few weeks, giving me the time to go through the five stages of grief. I got so angry with Paul for kidnapping me as I saw it at the time but I know he did for me what nobody else could. If I had planned to leave they would have known and stopped me, I would have spent the rest of my days with two of my ex loves in my head. As they thought about the women they had left me for. He saved my sanity but my heart was gone.
Paul had guessed about the imprint, I don't know how but he had. He thought our imprint was a bit different because Jake was the true alpha and his wolf would never depend on anyone. He figured it made sense. We were mates. He thought that Jake had also bonded to me but unfortunately the hold Swan had on him was from before puberty so it was ingrained. He assumed that Jake would 'wake up' from her madness and maybe after a few weeks I should go back and talk to him. Tell him about the imprint. I refused, I was not going back to take away the one thing he wanted more than his own life.
Especially after I realised I was pregnant.
I was so sure that I couldn't have kids it never entered my head to worry about it. I sat up all night thinking about what I would do and then I realised that this was the spirits way of making up for all the crap they had dumped on me over the years. I began to feel better, not exactly happier but more content than I had felt in a very, very long time. I know that Paul was dying to go home to Rachel, his imprint wanted him and it was hurting him to be away from her, heaven knows I knew how much it hurt to be separated from your soul mate. I decided not to tell him so that he would go home, I thought it was about time that boy had something he was happy about. I knew I had to do this by myself, and I did!
Paul went into town before he left and came back with a cell phone and a wad of cash. He had cleared out his own bank account. I refused to take it and he got really mad, apparently he had money saved to go to college which was not gonna happen now and he had also money he inherited from his grandparents so he was fine. He had enough for him and Rachel and he just wanted to help me out. He warned me that he may not be able to keep them all out of his head over this so if I didn't want a visit from stupid alpha or baby alpha I should leave and go somewhere else.
So I hit the road in Paul's truck, which he kindly gave me and started the long drive towards the east coast. I would decide what to do when I got there. I phoned my Mom once to tell her I was okay and I would call her when I could. She tried to talk to me about what was wrong but even though she was my Mom she was also a council member and I couldn't make her choose between me and the tribe. Having the first pack pup, who was a child to the true alpha, would be a big deal and I know the tribe would search high and low for the next alpha. I didn't want this life for my child. I wanted him to have his own life and fall in love naturally, none of this spirit life for my baby.
Mom transferred money into my bank account and told me to stay safe and keep in contact and she was always here from me. I know it hurt Seth that I wouldn't talk to him but he could pass an Alpha order to me and I would be powerless to resist. There is no way those sneaky bastard's are getting me back like that. The only way I would ever go home is if Harry Junior wanted to meet his father when he was old enough to be told the legends.
I travelled over here and had my wonderful little boy, and used the money I had saved and that Paul and Mom gave me to get settled and take care of Harry when I couldn't work. I was luckier than most.
I woke to the ringing of my phone. I got up quickly confused at who it could be because I never gave this number to anyone. I picked it up slowly and put it to my ear.
"Hello." I say quietly.
"Leah?" The beautiful rasping voice from my past whispered. "I can't believe I finally found you."