If I owned twilight there wouldn't have been any fade to black... at least not for the lemon scenes! PG13? … not likely. Sparkly peens all the way baby!
Apologies for long gap between posting – RL kicks your ass sometimes.
Thanks for the reviews/alerts/favourites for chapter 1 - really appreciate it. Review replies weren't working for a while but I did reply to those that had their PM's activated.
Also surprised that only a few were pissed at Edward being mauled by a certain hospital worker & that no-one mentioned Kluver-Bucy Syndrome - did anyone know what it was?
Some serious smexin goes to my podster kewlwhip who without I wouldn't have done this chapter. She's my pre-reader & she lets me pick her brains for those words used in the US as well as tells me the truth whether she understands what the hell I'm talking about.
Nope, still don't have a beta!
Every Touch Tells a Story
In Good Hands
Whatever that noise is, it had better shut-the-fuck-up.
My head is banging. It even hurts to think.
Mom must be listening to some new weird CD again; last time it was dolphins making whistle and clicking noises. A few years ago it was the sounds of the sea. We lived by the fucking sea at the time.
It's no good, I have to stop the noise. I can't take any more.
Fuck, that hurts. Well crap, I can't move. I feel awkward and bulky without even moving and why the hell does my nose feel so irritated? I wiggle my nose trying to scratch the itch. It feels a little better but not exactly relieved.
I try to take a large lungful of air, but my chest feels heavy and uncomfortable.
Heavy eyes. Heavy head. Heavy senses.
What's going on?
"Bella, can you hear me?" The voice soothing and comforting even though I feel slightly panicked at not knowing what was going on - It's familiar to me.
My eyes still feel heavy, but my nosiness fights the weight and my eyelids flutter letting flashes of light through. Thankfully, the light isn't too bright but it still makes my eyes and head hurt. I frown and wince from the pain which I'm sure is the cause of the hand stroking my fingers moving to my cheek combined with a soft, motherly "Shhhh" to me.
"Bella, it's okay we're here to help you. Everything's going to be okay, just try to relax," the familiar voice says in a practised bedside manner. Relax? Seriously? How can I relax when I don't know what's going on?
My eyes finally focus and I realise in seconds that I'm in a hospital room. "Crap, what the hell did I do this time?" My voice gravelly from my throat being dry.
There are some chuckles before the familiar voice clears his throat in an obvious 'be quiet' manner. "Are you in any pain, Bella?"
I can see now that it's Carlisle, though in this setting I'm sure I should call him Doctor Cullen. Smoothing my hair back off my face is Esme. It feels so long since I've seen them. I try to think how long but my head hurts too much.
"Everything hurts... and feels kinda heavy. My head... it feels sorta fuzzy. I need a drink, please." I barely manage to breath the words out, hating sounding and feeling so weak.
"I'll get some ice-chips."
"Thank you, Maggie," Carlisle says over his shoulder. I try to turn my head to see, but then with the fogginess clearing a little I realised why I couldn't. I have a neck brace on and I can't help but huff over being so constricted as well as being in hospital.
"What happened? Did I fall again?"
"Bella, sweetheart... you were in–"
"Bella, what do you remember?" Totally out of character, Carlisle cut Esme off which instantly puts me on edge.
What do I remember? I'm not sure. I try to think, I'm sure with the pain and confusion showing on my face. My thought process sluggish, memories of my life and snapshots of people and their spoken words are foggy at best at the moment.
"Remember? Um, I'm not sure."
"That's okay, no pressure. Give it a little time and I'm sure everything will come back to you." Carlisle is trying to reassure me, smiling like the kind caring man he is, but I can see a hint of frown in his brow that he can't quite disguise no matter how hard he tries. He's concerned which makes me more concerned.
Ice-chips are handed to Esme with an 'everything will be okay' smile. "Thank you, Maggie," says Esme. Not just for the ice-chips I'm sure.
Esme turns her attention back to me with her motherly affection looking a little frazzled but still as beautiful as ever. The guilt hits me for causing her stress and taking up her time. It's Carlisle's job to treat me as his patient, but Esme doesn't have to be here. My mom should be here.
Esme strokes my hair back again and then gently tilts the cup of ice-chips to my mouth in a practised move making sure only a small amount tumbles into my parched mouth. The relief I feel is embarrassingly shown when I moan causing Esme to grin and a sound come from the corner of the room to the side of me which I can't turn to see. I carry on sucking and even crunching the ice-chips in my need for rehydration. Esme gives me some more and only then am I feeling somewhat human. Well, a human that can't move or know what's going on but anything is better than how I felt on waking.
"Yes, thanks Esme. I'm sorry for causing you so much trouble. You really don't have to stay, I'll be fine." My guilt bubbles to the surface even though I know Esme would do this for anyone. I try to give her a genuine smile but between my face being a little squished from the neck brace and my feeling of being overwhelmed I'm sure it doesn't come across too convincingly. Esme's face confirms this as she looks at me in way that seems confused or hurt even.
"You don't want me here?"
"Oh no, no please don't think that. I just don't want to take any more of your time up. I know you must have lots to do and I don't want you to feel that you have to be here. I'm sure mom or dad will be here soon." Shit, now I feel even more guilty for making her feel like I'm trying to get rid of her.
"I'm staying right here for as long as you need or want me here. I volunteer here anyway sweetheart so I can come and go as I please. Isn't that right Carlisle?" Esme eyeballs Carlisle who is checking the readouts on the machines around me, daring him to contradict her.
He dutifully nods his head. "Of course, darling."
Esme's beaming smile towards me puts me at ease again, and I can't help but giggle a little and in turn the movement makes me remember that I don't feel right. Not just certain parts of me being immobile, but not feeling like I'm me, like I'm in a different body. Something is... odd. Maybe I need to use the bathroom or something.
"You see, I'm all yours," says Esme, with wink to show she knows what she's doing.
"Thank you Esme, really." And I really am thankful. I dread to think how I'd be feeling or reacting if I was surrounded by people I didn't know when waking up like this.
Carlisle caught my eye then and drew me out of our little moment by clearing his throat.
"Feeling a little better now?" Carlisle asks with his doctor face on.
"Much better thanks. Can I take this neck brace off now?" I ask trying to smile and look as well as possible in the hopes of getting the contraption off me.
Carlisle chuckles and shakes his head. "Same old Bella trying to do things her way."
A gasp comes from Esme causing my eyes to dart to her. Her perfectly shaped eyebrows had shot up and she was obviously trying to tell Carlisle something. What, I don't know and not sure if I want to know. The look doesn't look good which means it can't be good for me. So, I just lie there – not that I have any choice – and keep quiet ignoring whatever is going on.
Carlisle quickly goes into full on doctor mode and starts spouting off my stats which I know he wouldn't normally do. I've never seen him panic or ramble over anything. Seeing the perplexing look on my face, Carlisle stops his speed talking ans takes a deep breath obviously trying to pull himself together.
"We still have some more tests to do now you're awake. You know the routine, Bella." His grin to me is comforting now he is back to the Carlisle I know. I can't help the deep frown appearing on my forehead at the thought of keeping it on for longer and being poked and prodded, and probably fussed over – though I don't feel like I've been fussed over in a long time. "At least you're not pouting like Alice would so that's something," Carlisle brings my smile back tenfold at the thought of seeing Alice. It feels like a lifetime ago since I last saw her even though it's only a few months. That Christmas holidays with the Cullens and my dad was honestly the best I'd ever had, and not having to worry about Renee for the first time ever was so freeing. Thank you, Phil.
"Lets get started then so we can see if that neck brace can be removed so you can have a little more freedom to move. Of course, your left arm and leg will take quiet a while before their casts can be removed. We've got your arm resting on a pillow so it's more comfortable for you than the weight of it pressing on your body. The bruises on your torso are slightly lighter compared to your arm and leg and so they'll clear up before you know it. The scrapes and bruises and swelling on your cheek side of your forehead may take a little longer. You also have quite a deep laceration to the top of your left thigh which we've taken care of, but our main concern regarding you..." Okay, he's being weird "...is the concussion you got. Things any clearer for you now regarding remembering what happened?" Carlisle asks me with hope clearly in his voice.
"I don't remembered what happened at all, just Charlie picking me up from the airport as planned. He brought my coat for me that you bought me last Christmas, Esme..." I smile at Esme "...You know how much I love that coat, it's so cosy... oh no, I didn't ruin it did I?" I ask with worry hitting me for not taking care of the gift given to me.
"Bella, it's a coat. Whatever has happened to it will be taken care of later. Please don't get yourself wound up over it. You need keep yourself as calm as possible. Stress is not good for someone in your condition." Esme doing her mom voice puts me in my place and makes me control myself quickly. Yep, she sure does know what she's doing.
Carlisle clears his throat taking Esme's attention to him and she quickly finishes with, "So we'll get you a new coat if we need to."
"Sorry, you're right. Stress isn't good for anyone," I say feeling quite foolish.
"So, Bella you were at the airport and then what?" Carlisle's obviously on a mission here to hear about my journey from the airport.
"Well, as usual Dad wheeled my cases but we struggled this time because of all the stuff extra stuff I'd brought–" I was cut off by Esme.
"What extra stuff?" she asks sounding a little off.
"You know, all of my writing stuff and all most of my clothes – even though I can't wear most of them here ninety percent of the time – and of course all my school books." Esme's eyebrows are now way higher than they were earlier and I wonder what I've said wrong. "Oh no, I'm supposed to start school on Monday. Crap! What am I gonna do. It'll be hard enough starting a new school again with being behind and on crutches, but with Forks High being so small and everyone knowing each other already it's going to suck ass." Yes, I know I sound like a petulant teenager... I am one.
Realising there's total silence around me, I peek up to look at Esme's face to see how much trouble I'm in. Nope, not what I expected at all. Esme has her hand over mouth and she's blinking furiously willing the tears to magically disappear from her eyes and then glancing at Carlisle, I see a man that is stunned. Two different and very unusual reactions from this man in one day is disconcerting to say the least. It just does not happen with Carlisle. I must be in the Twilight Zone or something.
Thinking quickly to get myself out of shit I blurt, "I'm so sorry for using that language just now. I know I promised to try not to swear in front of you, but it just slipped out. Uh, I was on a bit of a rant. My emotions seem to be all over the place right now."
Whilst carefully smoothing my hair back again Esme tells me it okay and not to worry about it.
"I'm just going to check you over Bella and then were going to see about getting that neck brace off if everything's okay."
I stupidly try to nod at Carlisle, pleased at having things move along at last. I just want to get this damn neck brace off then see about going home. I'm sure Charlie is at home trying to clean up and move anything that the crutches they'll give me will catch on, and more than anything, panicking at how he's going to look after me. Looks like Alice will be helping me shower.
Carlisle pokes and prods me in his usual doctor manner, thoroughly checking my neck and asking me questions like does this hurt? And can you feel that? Gradually moving his way down my body it's a little embarrassing partly because it just is with any doctor touching you even though it is in completely professional manner, and partly because it's Carlisle – the Mcdreamy of the real world. Soon to be Mcdreamy Senior when Edward becomes a doctor making him the new Mcdreamy to the nurses wherever he ends up working. Shit, way to go with the inappropriate thoughts whilst you're being examined by your best friends father, Bella.
Carlisle seems to have finished checking in my ears, eyes and examining my head and neck and is moving down to my checking my shoulders and then announces we're taking the neck brace of to check my movement. Ecstatic... yep that's me.
I feel awkward that I can't move myself to help Carlisle and the nurse trying to move me enough to get the neck brace off, but obviously trying very hard not to move in case they cause pain or further injury. Their practised movements do them proud as my neck feels fine after it's off even if I'm a little stiff. I'm dying to move my head around a bit and stretch it out
"Just try to keep still a while longer, Bella. I just need to check your neck again without the collar." Carlisle puts a stop to my not-so-subtle-after-all movements instantly, and so I just give him a cheeky grin.
He gently feels my neck all over then again with firmer pressure always checking my reactions at each one. I'm relieved there doesn't seem to be any major or permanent damage. My head is tilted gently here and there, testing my movement. What I could really do with is a good rub down. Focus Bella, you've never had a 'rub down', the closest to it was a massage on your calf muscle from Edward when you had cramp.
My head is tilted forward then so my chin touches my chest. I notice my left arm in a cast resting on a really thick pillow partially covering my body and then the wires coming out of the top of the hospital gown, obviously monitoring my heart etcetera. But more than anything I see my more than ample boobs that seem to have appeared since I last saw them. No wonder my chest feels heavy. I freeze and Carlisle instantly goes on alert asking where there's pain.
"Um, how long have I been asleep exactly?" I ask totally ignoring Carlisle's question.
"You're not in pain?" he questions back.
"Uh, no. No pain just aching at the moment. Pain meds obviously still doing their job..." Carlisle eyes me suspiciously "...I just need to move around a bit because I think I've been still for a long time."
"We'll try give you a little movement of parts that you can move at the moment when we've finished checking you over. You've been in the same position since last night, so you're bound to feel somewhat stiff," says Nurse Maggie.
I ponder over this new information of being in the same position since last night. Does she mean actually here in this hospital since last night or just the position because boobs don't just grow this big overnight unless you have fake ones and I'm an all natural kind of girl that has enough trouble balancing without extra weight on the front.
"Bella, I'm going to arrange a few things and get you your own nightwear and few other things to make you more comfortable. I'll be back soon sweetheart."
"Thanks, Esme. That's really kind of you. Could you find out where my bag is too?"
"Of course, I'll see what I can do," she says whilst backing towards the door with a smile on her face and her eyes flicking towards the corner I've yet to see. Who is in that corner?
Turning my attention back to Carlisle, I see he's moving towards the bottom of the bed. Although it's difficult for me to see due to the frame they have over my pelvis and tops of my legs keeping the weight of the blankets off me, I can see him pulling the sheet and blanket away from my feet and legs. Suddenly a figure darts across the room calling for Carlisle to stop. I'm more than confused at this point.
"Don't touch her feet. They're extremely ticklish and she automatically kicks out... her reflexes just kick in, but if you start from her calf muscle then move down she'll be okay. Obviously that's difficult with the cast, but here, let me show you."
"Edward? What are you doing here?" He doesn't lift his head to look at me at all. Just carries on showing Carlisle how best to not make me kick out. How the hell does he know this? It can't be from just the calf muscle rub.
"I'm just doing my job, Bella."
"Your job? Are you doing the ER rotation at the moment?"
Finally looking up at me with eyes that look full of hurt but still gloriously breathtaking, he frowns and mumbles, "Something like that."
This is just getting weirder by the minute and now my belly has decided to behave all alien like. It feels full and... gassy maybe? There's definitely something going on and I think need the bathroom or at least a good fart. God this is embarrassing. I try to feel my side through the blankets, but the damn needle thing in the back of my hand hurts like a bitch.
"Can you please tell me what's going on with my belly?" I look down at what I can see – which is basically nothing due to the frame under the blankets and the pillow my arm is resting on. Definitely weird. "I really don't want to be nicked named Belly Bella, so if you don't mind I'd rather get this sorted, like right now. Just someone help me to the bathroom so I can at least get rid of some of the pressure." Yes, I know I'm basically talking about farting to them but desperate times call for desperate measures. They're looking at me now with faces that scream confusion at me. Well, if they're confused how the fuck do they think I feel. Confusion turns to realisation that's turns to pity.
Holy shit on a stick, I'm dying! They just don't know how to tell me.
"Seriously, just spit it out. Get it over and done with." I can hear my heart monitor starting to get a little faster. Carlisle glances towards it and then steps a little closer to me trying to give me a reassuring smile. It's not working.
"Is it a tumour?...it is, it's a tumour isn't it?..." my eyes are practically bursting out of my head now. "...is it something weird and embarrassing? That's why you don't want to tell me it's some strange gas problem that's gonna just explode or something..." Yes, I know I'm rambling. Yes, I know I'm panicking. But what the hell am I supposed to think. They are just staring at me looking as stunned as I feel. They're doctors. They are supposed to know these things.
"Bella, its not a tumour..." he grins, obviously trying not to laugh "and you don't have some strange gas problem either, so please don't worry about dying or um, exploding."
Now I feel a total ass.
Then I notice some shouting out in the corridor getting nearer to my room. The door to my room then bursts open and in strides Mike Newton.
"Hey babes, I was so worried about you."
"Oh uh, hey Mike."
Wait! Babes...what the fuck? Mike is already hugging me and kissing my forehead like it's the most natural thing in the world to him. I'm so confused and utterly fucking shocked that I can't move. I can't speak. Hell, I don't even think I'm breathing. I'm being punked aren't I. Any moment now Ashton Kutcher is gonna jump out with his big assed trucker hat on, and tell me to smile for the hidden camera 'cause they got me good. Cause really this cannot be happening. I wait. Wait a bit more. It seems like Mikes been hugging me for hours. I try to peek at the clock on the opposite wall. I hate that fucking clock, the ticking is gonna drive me mad. Nope its only been a minute or so. My eyes dart around the room over Mike's shoulder. Well Ashton sure is taking his time...They obviously want more airtime. I make my self smile so I don't look any more stupid than I already do. Any second now. Someone walks into my line of site. She looks familiar...but older. She's been crying. Her eyes are puffy. She starts moving closer to me & the tears start down her face again. Must be part of the show...drag it out a bit more. Jeez couldn't they just stick in an extra commercial or something. Maybe have Demi make a guest appearance.
The hugging from Mike turns to something worse then. His tongue is in my mouth and I can't fucking do anything about. I can taste cigarettes and maybe even beer mixed in with some god-awful garlic shit. I can't breath, I think I'm going to vomit. Somebody get this ass-hole off me!
Thankfully, hands grab Mike's shoulders pulling him back away from me. There's more shouting, pushing and didn't Esme tell me no stress? To add to the overwhelming noise, the machines monitoring my various bits and pieces are going wild. I'm gasping from breath as I can't seem to find enough air. An oxygen mask is put on me and I just about see may favourite colour before...
^^^My idea of fade to black! ^^^
Next chapter is Edward's & he might be able to enlighten you all to what's been going on whilst Bella's been out of it!