It was a boring monday morning in Japanland. There was once a girl who has freaky sex powers and her name was Catherine. One day, Catherine was hanging out at a club where she ate pizza and drank juice. She looked around to find a man to screw with because that's what all girls do for good anyway other than cooking some dinner. She saw this guy with a weird shag and really baggy eyes, but she didn't focus on him. She took his eyes to another man who was sitting behind him. It was none other than the greatest sex machine in the entire Japanland. It was John Madden! He was sitting there with a football in one hand while he was eating a beef sandwich. Catherine walked up to the football legend and said "Hey you're John Madde? I LOVE YOU!" John Madden looked at Catherine and got a major boney in his pants. "I'M JOHN MADDEN!" Madden said. He then started to shove the football he had into Katherine's croutch, because he hated woman, but Catherine was different. He took a football out of his pants and shoved it down Catherine's mouth. She survived because that wasn't the bigggest thing that was shoved down her throught. Catherine stipped down naked and started to have hot making love with John Madden. But John Madden didn't like it up the pus and went for the poop pipe. So now John Madden was having hot forced making love with her. Everyone but that shag guy didn't mind. The shag guy killed himself because he was the useless character in the entire game and was not the main character. John Madden then sucked the life out of Catherine and now John Madden became Catherine in the entire game and will continue to have freaky sex powers.
And then John Madden died because of the Nazi 9/11 planes.