Facebook: Hannah snuggleswithSnape

Or the link is on my profile.

So I'm not sure if these are funny or not, I can do unintentionally funny, but when I am actually trying to be it doesn't always work.

Anyway review with your thoughts and any ideas always welcome.

I do not own Harry potter.


I walk into the great hall at tea time seeing as though I had not eaten all day, instead choosing to do independent study in the library… I may have decided to be have a little fun this year but it does not mean I will be neglecting my studies; I have a reputation to uphold after all.

"Hermione get your arse over here" Ron yells with his mouth full of some food like substance, honestly that boy is disgusting, why can he not chew, swallow and then speak, it really is not that difficult, perhaps I shall buy him a book on the subject for Christmas, then again the last time I bought him a book for Christmas he threw it in the bin… ungrateful sod.

I approach the table "honestly Ronald must you be so vulgar all the time, besides were on earth did you expect me to sit… at the Slytherin table" I joke, but I think my idiot of a friend believes that I am being serious, at least that is the vibe I am getting from him… gosh I may just have to make some new friends, you know? Ones that aren't retarded.

"Haha" he mutters sarcastically as he finally gets that I am being sarcastic... about bloody time as well.

"You know I think you better start watching that mouth of yours.. it's going to get you into trouble" Ginny chimes in with that annoying chirpy voice of hers.

I hear Harry snort and as I turn to look at him I am sure I see him mutter something under his breath, something along the lines of; 'it already has.' I hope to god that he is talking about my potions class this morning and nothing dirty, I doubt it though, they all think that I am a complete and utter prude; I'm a virgin, but by no means a prude.

"Where were you in divination anyway, you know just because Snape kicks you out of potions it does not mean you are excused from the entire day" Harry says as he looks at me suspiciously, obviously trying to figure out what I have been up too.

Thankfully I am saved from answering that question and giving him the answer he expected "Blood hell mione, what did YOU do to get kicked out?" Ron asks as I reach across the table to grab some bread to go with my lasagne.

"Wouldn't you like to know?" I answer with a giggle as I spoon a forkful of food into my eager mouth, chewing and swallowing.

"She told Snape that he just needed more hugs" Harry interrupts "and she actually hugged him" he adds and I cannot help but notice how pale Ronald goes at his words, idiot.

"You hugged the greasy bat Hermione, what on earth possessed you to do that?" he exclaims rather rudely I might add.

"Who I hug is none of your business Ronald Weasley, but while we are on the subject; it was rather nice and he smelt pleasant…" that was an understatement, he smelt fucking fantastic, but why am I sticking up for professor Snape especially since he gave me detention when I was trying to be so thoughtful, perhaps I may still have an incy wincy little crush on him, with that thought I stand, turning away and storming from the great hall.

I had spent the rest of my evening 'studying,' well at least that will be my story if anyone asks, really I have been plotting ways in which I can get to Snape, I am almost certain that if I push him and push him he will eventually crack!

Arriving outside of his classroom, I raise my hand to knock on the door, but then I quickly decide against it; that would be far too respectful for my plans.

"Honey I'm home" I announce my arrival as I throw the door open and stroll inside.

"Miss Granger" a voice snaps "I certainly hope that you are not implying that Professor Snape's classroom are your home, glancing up I see Professor Lupin looking at me, with a half smile/half frown on his face.. I think that secretly he was a little amused.

Instead of answering I just flash him a sickly sweet grin "Where is old Severus?" I question, glancing around the classroom as if I am looking for him.

"Why he's.."

"I am right here, and ten points from Gryffindor for your cheek" he snaps as he storms out of the storeroom and marches over to Remus with a face like thunder, whoops I managed to piss him off and I didn't even know that I was doing it.

"Which cheek?" I ask smartly as I raise one eyebrow at him.

For a moment he looks shocked and then the all too familiar glare spreads across his face, seriously he looks as though he is about to murder me. "Well I would not want you to feel as though I am being unfair so make it twenty points" he says sarcastically and damn it! As much as I hate to admit it; that was a pretty good comeback.

So I do the only thing I can think of, I begin to clap loudly, gaining the attention of both my professors "Bravo professor Snape, I bow down to the master of snark and sarcasm" I say cheerfully as if it was common to applause your professor for taking points from your house!

"Sit" he roars as he points to a desk right in the back of the room and begrudgingly I take it.

I watch for a short while as they talk among themselves "professor" I begin, but to my surprise a wand is suddenly pointed right in my face, well not exactly at my face but in my direction, by the look on his face he is debating whether or not to curse me, but then thankfully the wand is then lowered, obviously he has come to his senses and realises that even he would not get away with murdering a student, well not in front another professor at least. Haha sucker i win.

"…" I open my mouth to speak but nothing comes out, I yelp out in surprise., why the hell will my mouth not work? And then I realise what he has done, the arsehole has used the silencing charm on me.

Oh this means war professor Snape….

Prank war….

Let phase two commence

Review please? :)