Once Christmas and New Year passed it really hit me that I'd only have three months to finish my school work so I could relax before the baby was born. I guess you could say I got a little paranoid that I wouldn't be able to finish it and that made me go a little school work crazy. I started spending ten - fourteen hours a day getting through my school work, I decided to do a subject at a time.
To say I was stressed out was an understatement especially when I was suddenly constantly surrounded by people. Jasper thought I was overworking myself, and of course I was, but I thought I had a legitimate reason for overworking myself so I ignored him when he asked me to stop, to set what he called a 'more appropriate' schedule.
Then he got Carlisle involved. Carlisle told me my blood pressure was high and I could be harming the baby, which made me ease up a little but I was still working more than Jasper wanted me to because he ended up getting the rest of the Cullens, and my dad and even the wolves involved and then I was suddenly being constantly baby sat.
I got overwhelmed, started to feel like everyone was ganging up on me, that no one trusted me to do things my way, honestly, I started to feel like I was back with Edward, he never let me do things my own way either and it made me feel trapped and alone. The only person who was being normal with me and letting me get on with things was Leah, and she quickly became a great friend. I started to lean on her when everyone else wouldn't get off my back and I started to drift away from Jasper. It was killing me, it was killing us both, but I refused to be treated by Jasper the way Edward treated me, and Jasper wouldn't leave me alone and trust me enough to let me do what I saw as right.
The only thing that seemed to cheer me up right now was watching my bump grow. Baby was clearly healthy and strong, growing fast enough so I now had a prominent bump, and could only hide it under really big coats, but I didn't mind. The only time I felt even a little close to Jasper these days was when we'd notice that my bump had grown and he'd come and cuddle me and stroke my belly, kissing me and telling me how lovely I looked. But he'd ruin it every time by telling me I needed to relax about school and calm down because the baby might not always be this healthy. It got to me so much that I stopped showing him when my bump grew, stopped sharing those little moments with him because he ruined them every time.
I never expected our relationship to become so strained, never expected things to become so hard. Jasper stopped coming to bed with me, he spent that time hunting because he refused to leave my side while I was awake in case something happened, but without him there I was barely sleeping. The kissing stopped, the cuddling stopped, even though we were constantly together it felt like we were a million miles apart. It was hurting me so much and I could see it was hurting him too but neither of us would back down, so it didn't matter how much we were hurting.
One day, near the end of January, I was coming back from a very rare day out with Rose, she'd convinced me to go shopping for maternity clothes, we walked through the front door to mine and Jasper's house, I was smiling for what felt like the first time all month, we put the bags down in the hallway and I went to sit down in the living room while Rose got me something to eat. When I walked through the door to the living room I knew something was wrong. Everyone was there. Jasper, the Cullens, my Dad, the wolves, and they all looked upset.
"What's going on?" I asked, I could feel the tension as everyone looked at me and I hated it.
"You should sit down, Darlin'." It was the first time Jasper had called me darlin' in what felt like forever, but when he said it I just felt cold, because I knew he wasn't saying it as an endearment, it sounded like when Edward would call me 'Love', like he was just trying to get me to do what he wanted.
"I think I'll stand thanks." I said, even though all I wanted to do was sink into the couch and rest my feet. "What's going on?" I asked again. Everyone seemed to take a deep breath before my dad smiled sadly at me.
"It's an intervention, Bella." He told me.
"Like the kind of thing you give to addicts when you want them to go to rehab?" I asked, starting to feel the trickles of anger in my heart.
"No, it's something people give to their loved ones when they're hurting themselves with their behaviour, but the families of addicts do it as well." Carlisle told me.
"So you all think I'm hurting myself?" I ask them all and everyone nods, well, everyone except Leah. "Even you?" I ask her and she smiles at me.
"No, Bella, I'm only here because they made me." I smiled at her, knowing I had at least one person on my side, but it hit me like a ton of bricks that my own fiance, my own mate, wasn't on my side. The feeling of betrayal that hit me was worse than anything I'd ever felt. I watched as Jasper flinched, knowing he was feeling what I was and I hated it, not because I was hurting him, but because he didn't deserve to know how I was feeling.
Jasper opened his mouth to say something but I just stared at him as I pulled my shield around me as tight as I could and locked my emotions in a box, buried so far beneath my shield he would never be able to find it. I knew the moment my emotions cut off from him because his eyes went wide and I could feel his worry and his hurt through our mate bond.
I knew what they were going to say and I didn't want to hear it, so I glared at them all before setting my eyes back on Jasper, the love of my life, my soul mate, the man who was betraying me.
"I know why you're here, and I don't want to hear it, so you'll just have to listen to me." I glared at them all again and they stayed quiet. I could feel the vampire in me fighting to break through but I also knew I couldn't let it, because my dad was in the room and he'd freak out. I made sure I was looking directly into Jasper's eyes as I spoke. "I will not be pushed around or told what to do." He went to say something but a little growl broke through my chest, only loud enough for the supernaturals in the room to hear, and he quickly closed his mouth. "Clearly you can't trust me to do things my way, clearly you think your opinion and your idea of what I should do is more important than the way I want to do things, but I will not be treated by you the way Edward treated me." I saw out of the corner of my eye my dad frown, but I was watching as Jasper flinched back, my words clearly hurting him. "I won't be ignored or controlled or manipulated again, I refuse to be treated like my opinion and what I want doesn't matter, if you'd ever listened to me, if you'd ever actually paid attention to me instead of trying to get me to do what you wanted then you would have noticed that I'm almost completely done with all of my school work and that I've actually eased up a lot on what I'm doing, but you didn't, you stuck with the thought that I was hurting myself when the only person who's been hurting me is you." I could feel the tears pooling in my eyes but I blinked them away, I had to get this out, I had to let him know what this meant to me and how much this hurt me. "I'm not going to stick around with a bunch of people who have absolutely no idea what's actually going on and only ever take their own twisted misinformed opinions into account." And I turned around and ran out the house. I let the vampire part of me take control as I ran through the woods and I ran faster than I ever imagined I could to get away from them all.
I don't know how long I ran for or how far, but after what felt like a very long time my legs started to ache and the torrent of emotions I'd boxed away from Jasper came pouring out. I fell to the ground as a sob burst from my chest. I curled up on myself and cried. I cried for hours, I couldn't stop, I felt like a part of me had been ripped off, like I was missing a vital organ, or ten, and I couldn't breathe, I felt like someone was ripping my lungs out of my chest as I drowned. I knew it was the mating bond, I knew we were both hurting worse than we ever had and being away from each other was making it worse, but I couldn't find the strength to get up and find him and a part of me still didn't want to find him, because he was the one who hurt me like this.
Those depressing thoughts just made me cry harder and I absently noticed that it was starting to get dark.
I was still lying in the fetal position, sobbing violently, when the bond I shared with Jasper thrummed, just like it had when he came back from visiting with Carlisle and Esme, when I first found out I was pregnant. But I couldn't make myself move, I was still aching inside, hurting so much my body couldn't comprehend anything but the pain, not even when I tried to get myself to move.
My eyes popped open when Jasper ran into view, he never stopped when he saw me, just kept running, and then he got to me and a shimmering blue light popped up from my bump and he bounced off it, flying twenty feet in the air and landing with a crash against a tree.
He got up instantly and slowly approached me this time, the look of hurt on his face made me ache inside even more and my sobbing grew louder.
"Bella, honey, I'm not here to hurt you." Jasper smooth voice, laced with pain, broke through everything else, but the pain is what stuck with me, not the words. I was hurting him and the thought alone killed me, but he was hurting me as well and now the baby didn't want him near me, now my unborn child was protecting me from it's own father.
But I needed him. I needed Jasper. No matter how much we hurt each other, no matter how hard it became, we would always need each other to get through it.
I finally got the strength to sit up, I was cramped and stiff but I managed to sit up and reach for him. He didn't hesitate, just reached back towards me and pulled me into his arms. I was glad that the Baby wasn't stopping him anymore and hugged him so tightly.
"I'm sorry honey, I'm so sorry I hurt you, I thought I was doing the right thing and I'm so sorry that I was hurting you, I'll never ever do anything like that again, I'll never act like him again, I'm so sorry." Jasper sobbed into me and I cried into him.
"I'm sorry too, I'll try to compromise from now on and I'll listen to you and even if your acting like an idiot I'll never compare you to him again, because you're nothing like him, you're strong and kind and caring and I love you, I love you more than anything."
"I love you too, I couldn't live without you Bella, I'm sorry, I love you." We sat like that for a long time. After a while we stopped crying and started talking, we talked about everything, all the good, all the bad, and everything in between.
By the time we were finished the sun was high in the sky and I was very tired and very hungry. Jasper had to carry me home because I didn't have the strength and being in his arms, being comfortable with him and knowing that everything was sorted, I fell fast asleep.
When I woke up I was in our bed, in pajamas, lying curled into Jasper.
"Hi beautiful." He said once I'd opened my eyes and I smiled.
"Hi gorgeous." I kissed him and we ended up getting so lost in the kiss, so lost in each other that we only got out of bed when my stomach made a very loud and very embarrassing growl.
We laughed as we pulled a part.
"I'll go make you something to eat." He said as he pulled on a pair of jeans and then kissed me.
"I'm gonna get a quick shower." I told him as I walked to the bathroom. My shower ended up taking longer than I expected because my hair was a complete mess and I had dirt and twigs in it from lying on the forest floor. Eventually I walked down stairs in comfortable maternity clothes that somehow accentuated my bump, feeling completely rested and happy for the first time since New Year. I walked into the kitchen to find Jasper staring out the window, a plate of bacon, eggs and pancakes with a glass of blood waiting next to him. I walked up behind him and put my arms around his waist. I could feel the happiness radiating off him.
"I feel good for the first time all month." He told me as he turned around and hugged me back.
"Me too." I tell him as I stand on my tiptoes and kiss him softly. I pull away when my stomach growls again and grab my meal moving to sit at the little table we have in the corner. Jasper follows me and sits next to me, keeping his hand on my leg.
"I feel like I haven't been this close to you in ages, I don't want to stop touching you." He tells me as I shovel food into my mouth. I smile, swallow my mouthful and kiss him again.
"I know, but things will be better now." I tell him and I know as Jasper smiles at me that I'm right.
I promised a chapter so here it is. I just want to say a quick THANK YOU to everyone who's continued reading and has favourited, followed and reviewed. Next chapter should be up in about a week!
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