One day, I was hanging out with my cousins; one was 7 and the other 9. They were sitting in front of the T.V. watching that Disney Robin Hood. When it was over the 9 year old (a girl none-the-less) was talking of how pretty Maid Marion was. I decided to pull a prank on them; you know have a little fun. So I went over too them.
"You know how Robin Hood SUPPOSEDLY stole from the rich and gave to the poor?" I said
"Yeah," they answered. "But not supposedly, he did."
"And you know how he SUPPOSEDLY hung out with the "Merry Men"?"
"Yes," they answered again "but it wasn't supposedly."
"Actually it was supposedly, on both accounts. See, I'll tell you how it REALLY happened! Only his name wasn't really Robin Hood, it was Rob-His-Hood, Maid Marion was Made-In-Merrily-China and the Sherwood Forest was the Sure-would-like-to Forest. Here's the story:"
"One day, in the Sure-Would-Like-To Forest, Rob- His-Hood was strolling along and
he came across an Uzi shop (a shop selling Uzis, go figure). He staggered in and said
drunkenly "get me two Uzis with 100 clips each, filled to the top." When he got them, he tucked them into his coat and went over to Made-In- Merrily-China. He then kissed her and said "I probably won't see you again. That was for when I'm gone." So he went on his way.
"He went into the Sure-Would-Like-To Forest and
went to Short Jon (also called Giant Toilet) and Short Jon said "Hey Rob-His-Hoo,d how's it-
ahhhhhh!" Short Jon fell with two bangs. Then he slowly sauntered into the castle, with guns blazing. The guards went limp, bricks shattered to little red puffs of smoke, and curtains got ripped to shreds. The Duke jumped out the window and scurried off screaming like a mad man. So after his Shooting spree, Rob-His-Hood put his guns away, did a triple flip then landed, then ran after the Duke with his last clip (the 200th one) and said "if I don't get the blasted Duke, I'll...I'll, I don't know what I'll do."
"He trailed the Duke to the Sure-Would-Like-To Forest. After awhile the Duke got harder to track, so Rob-His-Hood went back to the castle. Sure enough the Duke came back five minutes later. The Duke came up and waved a white flag. Rob-His-Hood didn't care. He stood up and said "So, you want gold? How's lead?" and he let loose. Miraculously he missed the Duke through-out the entire clip so he went back to the Uzi shop for a refund. Some how the Duke got there before him with a shotgun and he lets loose at point blank. HE got a lucky hit. Rob-His-Hood stumbled back, clutching his chest. He sank to his knees, then fell to the side, dead, never to see light, Made-In-Merrily-China or the duke again. Oh, the duke got Made-In-Merrily-China.
"THE END" I finished.
"That's not fair!" said my cousins. "And how do we know you didn't just make that up?"
"You don't," I said. "But THAT is how it really happened."