(AUTHOR'S NOTE: For an alternate version of this story with commentary, check out my blog. The link's in my profile.)

Lupa was really happy. She had just won the Olympics! It had taken a lot of training and money, but it all paid off in the end.

"I won the 100m dash!" Lupa said. She had a gold medal around her neck, and she had even set a new world record! This was one of the best days ever, Lupa thought.

Suddenly, Sponby! He descended from the sky, riding on wings of anti-baryonic dark energy. The screams of elvish maidens sacrificing their innocence to ancient outer ones followed him, sending the entire stadium into convulsions of cruel ecstacy.

"The end of all things is nigh!" Sponby yelled in the despair of a thousand universes, cracking the brittle shell of the earth beneath him. He greedily drank the life-blood of the planet.

"What do you mean?" Lupa asked.

"What the fuck do you think I mean? We're all gonna die, bitch!" Sponby screamed in desperation.

"Do not worry!" the president of the Olympics said. "We can help." He pulled a key out of his blazer and stuck it into the Olympic torch. The entire stadium transformed into a gigantic head, which flew into space and attached itself to an even bigger mecha.

"Lupa, it is your destiny to save the multiverse!" the president of the Olympics said. "You must pilot King GetterGaiZinger Kaiser Lagann X!"

"But I don't know the first thing about piloting giant robots!" Lupa protested.

"Don't worry, Lupa. I will help!" Phelous said as he appeared from a portal. He grabbed Lupa's hand, and they passionately embraced before taking the controls of the gargantuan steel titan.

"It's easy! Just stick this thing into your ear!" Phelous grabbed a USB stick from the dashboard and gave it to Lupa. Against her better judgement, she stuck the USB stick in her ear, transfering her consciousness to the mecha.

"We are nowhere near powerful enough to take on the end of all things." Sponby said solemnly.

"Don't worry, I've got that covered." Phelous split himself into two smaller clones, which split themselves into four clones, and so on until there were billions of nano-Phelouses. The Phelouses started to pile on top of each other, until they formed a regular-sized Phelous.

"...what was the point of that?" Sponby asked.

"Take a look at this!" Phelous said as every nano-Phelous simultaneously committed suicide, spawning two exact copies of the macro nano-Phelous. They too combined and killed themselves, repeating this act until the NanoMegaPhelous was the size of the mecha.

"I've got a spaceship!" Linkara said.

"Cool! Let's combine!" Lupa said. They initiated a combination, resulting in King GetterGaiZinger Kaiser Lagann X gaining the Comicron-1 as a purdy hat.

"Aww, I didn't want to be a hat..." Linkara complained.

"Too bad!" Lupa chuckled.

"Ehehehehehehe!" Doctor Insano said over a commlink, as the Sun transformed into an even bigger mecha-Insano. "Behold, the Unconquered Sun! Of Science!"

"And we're here to help too!" the Nostalgia Chick, Nella, Elisa and Todd said, showing up in a paaank fembot mecha.

"What the fuck is happening here?" the Cinema Snob asked, showing up in an immaculately-dressed Cinema Snob mecha.

"We're going to save the universe!" Lupa said. "Now, who's with me!"

"I am!" Angry Joe said, transforming the Angry Joe Watchtower into a lightning-spewing mecha.

"You have my sword!" Suede said while piloting twenty Gundams welded together.

"And my axe!" Paw said, riding a mecha-sized Vespa.

"And my gun." the Nostalgia Critic said, piloting the Death Star.

"TGWTG-dan!" the president of the Olympics said. "Go and fight, for everlasting peace!"