Prompt: black sisters threesome, explicit.
A/N: this story ran away from me a bit and by the time I was halfway done, I realized I would never be able to get the three of them into the same bed, lol. So this is more a love triangle than it is a threesome ¬_¬ My fault for overcomplicating it.
The True Definition of Masochism
Narcissa/Andromeda, Bellatrix/Narcissa, Bellatrix/Andromeda
"You shouldn't be here."
Andromeda's voice was cold, cutting through Narcissa's confident façade so violently that a chill washed down her spine, eliciting her vulnerability. No, she shouldn't be here. She should be anywhere else but here, and yet there she stood on her sister's doorstep for a million different reasons, yet none of them sounded the least bit sane if she were to say them out loud.
Andromeda's reaction to her presence was not unexpected, of course; the two sisters hadn't spoken to each other in almost two decades, so Narcissa was hardly expecting a warm welcome. However it seemed she was also unprepared for the possibility that Andromeda's rejection might actually sting her, and so the pang in her heart caught her by surprise.
Feelings. Narcissa forgot sometimes that she had those.
Narcissa fell silent, offering no explanation as to why she showed up on her estranged sister's doorway at two in the morning. She didn't wish to speak of her private affairs outside anyhow; they were born to a more civilized breed, even if it seemed Andromeda abandoned those beliefs long ago.
"Well?" Narcissa questioned. "Are you going to invite me inside or am I to assume the mudblood you married stripped you of your manners, as well as your pride?" She stood statuesque, the only indication of her increasing anxiety outwardly presented by a habitual nervous tick in her left wrist. It did not go unnoticed.
"You still believe you're better than me," Andromeda observed, tone indicating a hint of surprise. She leaned against the threshold, crossing her arms as she took a minute to really see the Narcissa before her. After a moment's silence, she let out a slight disbelieving laugh. "You really do, don't you? Unbelievable. Something's really never do change. You're standing outside my door, disheveled and on the verge of a panic attack, preparing to throw away the last of your pride to ask for help and yet still believe that you can walk on bloody water. Your arrogance really is unsurpassed, Cissa."
Narcissa heard every word, yet chose to process only a few. Slender fingers ran along the crease of emerald fabric with frustrated denial. "I do not look disheveled." She spat the word as it were offal in her mouth. Narcissa Malfoy never looked anything less than picturesque, even in her worst of hours.
Andromeda ignored her sister's vanity as though she didn't even hear Narcissa speak. "You must be terribly disillusioned to the darkness that surrounds you, dear sister." Her voice was softer than before, yet seemed to hold no note of care or concern. Andromeda's eyes however, they sparkled with a newfound curiosity that made Narcissa uncomfortable in her own skin. Andromeda tilted her head slightly to one side, careful to assess her sister's reaction to her next words. "Did you even know it was there?"
She knew this would happen. Andromeda always did this; dissected her. Picked her apart to see what made her tick. Narcissa had often wondered if she did this to everyone, or if she was just special.
Regardless, she'd had practice with this long ago. So Narcissa stood completely still; rapidly exhausting the last of her willpower as she put everything she had into appearing effortlessly unconcerned. For most people, she was akin to a stone wall.
"Could you even feel it?"
However to her sister, despite countless efforts, she had never been made of anything other than glass.
When Andromeda spoke again, her tone was nothing but furious accusal. "Or did you choose to disillusion yourself, so you could finally give in and taste the poison on her lips?"
Bellatrix. She tasted of blood and wine.
Her heat, her breath… it could cause the very fabric of reality to burn in her wake, allowing Bellatrix to save Narcissa from the horror of her own reality by replacing it with a sweeter sounding nightmare of her own choosing. Narcissa never hesitated to devour her sister's lies; they were artwork compared to the rest of the world. They were beautiful.
But they also condemned her.
"I knew it. You reek of her self-destruction."
Strange that she could remember, after all these years. But then perhaps not so; painful memories were never easy to forget. Bellatrix was the center of her nightmares, even still.
"You promised me." Her voice stung with the pain of her Narcissa's betrayal. "I've spent the majority of my life trying to protect you from her. I still…!" but Andromeda couldn't say those words out loud. She couldn't say anything, she couldn't do anything. The damage had already been done, to all of them.
It was all for nothing now.
Andromeda's fist hit the cedar door in a rage, her emotions boiling over. She turned back towards her sister, chestnut hair cascading almost violently over her shoulders in a way that would be beautiful, if Narcissa wasn't utterly frightened by her expression. "And you repay me how?" Andromeda screamed, voice catching slightly from the sorrow laced between her anger, "by lapping at her cunt at the first chance you had?! You disgust me! Do you ever think of anyone but yourself?"
The force behind the involuntary tick in Narcissa's wrist had multiplied. Her breathing shallowed. Her stomach felt as though it were lined with rocks. The ground, when once was so firm beneath her feet, now felt as though it would cave from underneath her. Perhaps the sky would fall instead.
Being forced to face reality always was far too much for Narcissa.
It wouldn't slow down; her wrist. The feeling was both overwhelming and frightening; not having control over one's body movements was highly disconcerting. Narcissa tried to ignore it – like she always did with so many other unmanageable situations in her life – but it was difficult.
This was not how this visit was supposed to go.
"Please." Her voice came out strained. She couldn't do this out here; her dignity wouldn't allow it. Perhaps she would get lucky and faint; it felt like such a simpler way out of this. "Please… invite me into your home. I-I'll explain in there once… once I…" Narcissa couldn't remember what she was saying. She needed to breathe. She needed to sit. She needed to apologize…
She needed to regain control over her legs.
"You always were so bloody useless on your own," Andromeda muttered under her breath, attempting to hold her sister's weight. After she had prevented Narcissa from falling, the younger woman had to take a moment and collect her bearings. "Look at you; you don't even know how to control your own sodding panic attacks and you've been having them since you were five."
Narcissa would have liked to retort that there was no rational part of the word 'panic,' but between her difficulty breathing and the fact that Andromeda had to help her into the house, Narcissa kept the comment to herself.
She was forced into a large arm chair and Andromeda grabbed her wrist forcefully one hand, kneeling in front of her so they were at eye level. "One," she counted, slipping easily into a routine she hadn't had to do for years. It took Narcissa aback for a moment, so when she failed to respond Andromeda's grip tightened. Narcissa gasped softly in pain, forcing her back to reality. "Look at me," Andromeda demanded. Her sister obeyed. "Nothing exists but me, Narcissa," Andromeda coached, nodding at her encouragingly. She searched her eyes. "Now breathe. One."
Narcissa inhaled an unsteady breath, feeling as though for a moment nothing had changed between them. But that was a lie. Everything was different now. Everything.
Andromeda coached her until the count of ten, then released her wrist. It was completely still, for the first time in weeks. Narcissa's slender fingers slid over her skin, wondering how Andromeda, of all people, could always draw out a sense of calm in her even when Narcissa was sure none existed inside of her anymore.
"It's your wrist," Andromeda told her. Narcissa looked up at her, eyebrows furrowed. "The worse it gets the more you panic, surely you've noticed after all these years?" All Andromeda was met with was a confused expression.
Of course Narcissa never noticed though; she had always surrounded herself with people who sought be her hero. She never learned to stand on her own two feet because there was always someone behind her holding her upright. Not anymore though. Lucius was in prison, Bellatrix had descended into madness, and Andromeda hadn't been a part of her life in years. For the first time in her life, Narcissa was completely alone.
It terrified the hell out of her. Perhaps that was why she threw herself at Bellatrix; she hoped the intimacy would sate the madness inside of her enough to make her want to take care of her.
"Your anxiety causes your tick, but your panic attacks are brought on by the fact that you cannot control its movements," Andromeda explained. "That frightens you. But the more attention you pay to it, the worse it gets. You have to learn to ignore it."
No, actually it seemed all Narcissa needed was a proper distraction. Andromeda just proved that. But this conversation was not the one they were meant to be having; its importance paled in comparison. Still, Narcissa nodded to indicate she understood.
The silence fell thick between them. Minutes felt like hours. Narcissa sat motionless in the armchair, subconsciously rubbing her left wrist as she tried to find the right words. It was futile though; both of them knew there would never be words powerful enough to fix the rift between them. Still, Narcissa needed to explain what brought her to Andromeda's doorstep tonight. She owed her that much.
"Draco is in service of the Dark Lord." The words stuck in her throat. It was a reality Narcissa tried to paint over, but the horror that consumed her was too powerful to be subdued. "He's been given an impossible task; a punishment for Lucius' failure. My son…" Narcissa's throat constricted and she forced herself to look away from Andromeda. No one was granted the privilege of seeing her tears; that would never change. "He is meant to die."
Narcissa had never said those words out loud before. The reality of them suffocated her. If Draco failed, which he most assuredly would, Voldemort would kill him without a moment's hesitation. Her precious boy, destined to die because of her husband's mistake. It was cruel. Vile. Inhuman.
Narcissa's vision blurred and her thumbnail dug into her palm. She felt sick.
It took moments, but finally Andromeda spoke. "Every morning when the post arrives, I'm terrified." The pain and truth behind that admission forced Narcissa's gaze back towards her. "My hands shake when I open them. Fear overtakes me so badly that some days I even struggle to breathe. The possibility of Nymphadora never coming back home is greater than it ever was, and I'm…" Her voice caught in her throat and sorrow filled her eyes. "I'm so afraid that one of those envelopes, one day, could contain confirmation of my worst fear."
Narcissa swallowed hard, a pang in the pit of her stomach causing her to feel nauseous. She feared the post as well for that very reason. For leading different lives, their horror seemed very much the same.
"But my daughter made her choice." Andromeda's hand rested on her sister's leg, the only gesture of comfort she felt she could offer Narcissa before she blatantly finished, "And so did your son."
Narcissa shoved her sister's hand away, angry Andromeda would believe their situations were similar in that aspect. "Draco's just a boy! He is not meant to be caught up in this war. He didn't understand what he was agreeing to; his desire to make his father proud has always clouded his judgment. Your daughter is doing a job she chose and trained for, my son hasn't yet finished his schooling and was only recruited with the expectation that he would die! Do you understand that, Andi? He is meant for nothing else other than the pain his death will bring to Lucius. So don't you dare sit there and preach that it's the same, because it is not."
Andromeda looked as though she had something to say, yet instead her lips formed into a tight line. After a moment's silence she stood, shaking her head as she paced. "Why come to me?" she asked, her tone sounding almost accusatory. Slightly jealous even. "Surely Bellatrix would be better suited to save your son; she's Voldemort's favorite, is she not? And you're certainly hers."
Narcissa visibly winced at the sound of the Dark Lord's name. How brave Andromeda must be, to speak it out loud.
Or how stupid.
"Bella is much too infatuated with the Dark Lord to ever question his wishes, you know that," Narcissa replied softly. She picked at the fabric of her robes, the topic of their sister making her feel uncomfortable. Regardless, she continued, "I still begged her, of course. However to her, my plea for my son's life sounded like nothing more than disloyalty. That angered her." Narcissa subconsciously ran her hand over her cheek, as though she could still feel the slap her sister delivered that day. Bellatrix always was quick to violence, even when she was a child. "She told me that I should feel proud that Draco was chosen; that even should he die in the service of the Dark Lord, it would bring great honor to our family. It sickens my soul, to know blood means so little to her now."
"Blood has always meant nothing to her," Andromeda told her curtly. "It was only you she adored; the rest of us were nothing more than what we could offer her."
A faint crack was heard upstairs. It was foolishly ignored.
"She loved you," Narcissa insisted firmly. Bellatrix may not know how to love now, but she once held a strong love for both of them. They were family.
"She fucked me." The bluntness of Andromeda's statement made Narcissa uneasy. She did not wish to talk about this, but it seemed Andromeda wasn't giving her a choice. "She loved you. At least, it seems, until you started fucking her."
The blame and anger in Andromeda's tone made Narcissa flush with guilt. "I never meant to disrespect what you sacrificed for me." Her voice was barely above a whisper. She could not look at her. "It was a selfish choice, I'm sorry."
Andromeda scoffed at her apology. It was far too early for forgiveness.
The silence that followed seemed to stretch on forever. The wind howled outside, the ceiling above them creaked. There was always so much noise when time stood still.
"You've no idea what you've done, have you?" Andromeda's voice was soft and full of dread. The sudden change in mood seemed to have startled Narcissa out of her trance and when she looked up at her sister, her stomach dropped. Andromeda looked pale.
"Whatever I've done, I've done it to myself."
The ceiling creaked above them once more and Andromeda glanced upwards. She looked nauseated. "No," she corrected. "You've done it to her."
Narcissa was beginning to grow paranoid. Suddenly nothing was making sense to her anymore and she was uncertain of what had changed. But as she caught Andromeda glancing at the ceiling again, warning bells began to go off inside of her. "What's going on?" Narcissa demanded. "What are you hiding from me?"
She had assumed earlier that the wind was causing the ceiling to creak; it wasn't as though the hobble her sister lived in looked sturdy. However the way Andromeda was reacting to the sound told a different story, one that filled Narcissa with unease. Was there someone upstairs?
"Nothing. Don't be ridiculous." The answer came too quickly for Narcissa's liking and did nothing to sate her suspicion. When Andromeda finally turned to face her sister, she seemed to have collected herself. "It's late," she mentioned. "Perhaps we should continue this another time."
Narcissa didn't believe for a moment that the late hour was to blame for the abrupt end to their visit, but she didn't comment on it. Besides, if she did this right she wouldn't have to.
"I told Bella I would be in Paris for the weekend. She's been staying with me ever since Lucius' imprisonment; if I return home there will be questions."
Andromeda stared at her as she tried to process the information Narcissa has just given her. She clearly wasn't expecting anything other than a goodbye from her, as it was the polite thing to do. The unexpected change in her sister's behavior irritated Andromeda and she put her hands on her hips. "Well that was a bit presumptuous, don't you think? The entire weekend?"
"We have more to talk about than can fit in one night," Narcissa explained, unperturbed. "Besides, you've always been too kind to put someone out. I never thought to worry."
Andromeda looked unsure if she should be flattered by the compliment or irritated that Narcissa had invited herself to stay without permission. But then a soft thud came from upstairs and suddenly Andromeda was quick to comply, "Fine, you can sleep on the couch. Linens are in the hall closet, help yourself." Narcissa barely had a chance to react before her sister was halfway to the stairwell. "We'll speak in the morning."
Andromeda disappeared upstairs, leaving Narcissa standing in the middle of the parlor completely perplexed by her behavior. She was curious to find out what her sister was hiding, but thought it best if she waited until Andromeda was asleep to investigate; by then it would be much easier to sneak around unnoticed.
Perhaps it was just her husband, but Narcissa couldn't think of a reason Andromeda would hide him from her. Although the more she thought about it, the more Narcissa found it odd that it was nearly three in the morning and she had yet to see him. If he wasn't what Andromeda was hiding upstairs, where was he? It wasn't exactly in Narcissa's nature to notice a mudblood's absence, or even their presence for that matter, but she was still irritated with herself for being so unobservant.
As Narcissa began gathering a fresh set of linens for herself, she failed to notice that she was no longer alone. "You're starting to become quite the disappointment."
Narcissa gasped and spun around so frantically that her back slammed into in to the doorknob of the closet door, causing a sharp pain to shoot up her spine. Despite how badly that had hurt, Narcissa immediately retreated down the hallway a few more steps. Once she had established distance, Narcissa tried to sooth her injury with her hand as she exclaimed angrily, "Have you taken to stalking me now?"
Perhaps it was foolish to respond that way, but pain was always quick to release her temper. Besides, Narcissa didn't want it known that she was afraid; that was more power than she was willing to relinquish.
Bellatrix merely stared at her; the lack of expression on her face causing Narcissa great unease; she had been expecting anger. "Do you enjoy disrespecting me, Cissy?" she asked, tone indicating nothing but genuine curiosity to hear the answer.
It was entirely disconcerting.
"You're the one who violated my privacy and followed me here," Narcissa responded boldy. "Perhaps you should ask yourself that question first, so you no longer sound terribly hypocritical."
The corner of Bellatrix's mouth twitched; Narcissa's retort seemed to have amused her. Or perhaps she was anticipating Narcissa's reaction to her next sentence: "I didn't come here for you."
A dumbfounded look crossed the blonde's face and the smirk on Bellatrix's face grew wider. Somehow she had managed to turn this into a game, and while Narcissa was never happy to be tormented solely for her sister's amusement, it was better than having to shield herself from her rage.
Narcissa's gaze flickered to the stairwell, dread filling the pit of her stomach. "What have you done with Andromeda?" she demanded. If it was Bellatrix waiting for her upstairs, there was no telling what she did to her. It was no secret what she thought of her.
"Nothing I haven't done before," Bellatrix dismissed. Narcissa was about to retort to that, but her sister began advancing on her. "Imagine my surprise when I found that she wasn't alone. I would have thought she'd learn by now, but I suppose old habits die hard. Her silly little infatuation with you always has been rather irritating, don't you think?"
Narcissa ended up backing herself into a corner, yet the fear of being trapped seemed to pale in comparison to the intense confusion that clouded over her at Bellatrix's words, because she didn't move. "What the hell are you on about?" Narcissa asked, suddenly very aware that she was unable to understand a single thing that was happening right now. "You sound completely mental right now, do you know that? She isn't the one that has always been infatuated with me."
"Correction," Bellatrix started, slamming her hand against the wall so hard Narcissa visibly jumped. She now had her properly trapped against the corner and Narcissa's sudden awareness of that did nothing to calm her pounding heart. "She's been so disastrously in love with you for so long that she's been fucking me for most of her pathetic life."
Narcissa didn't know whether to laugh, cry, or vomit. Nothing Bellatrix was telling her made any sort of sense, yet Narcissa knew she didn't want it to continue. Her sister seemed to be having some kind of psychotic break and right now she really wished she wasn't a part of her paranoid delusions. But she always tended to be, didn't she?
Sometimes Narcissa wondered if Bellatrix did this to her on purpose; messed with her head, because she believed it to be amusing. It sometimes made her question if her sister was even that crazy, or if she simply played it up for the attention.
Or perhaps Bellatrix just enjoyed scaring people; it always had been some sort of power trip for her, which was why Narcissa made a point to never show fear around her.
"I don't know what you're playing at, but this isn't funny. Andromeda doesn't deserve to pay for my mistake. I was the one who disobeyed you, not her."
Bellatrix seemed to not hear her as she playfully combed her fingers through Narcissa's hair, like a child grooming their favorite doll. "It sickens her to pleasure me, you know," Bellatrix mentioned, much too casually than this sort of subject deserved. "She thinks I don't know it, but I do. It's the only reason I let her do it. The shame she has, the self-hatred she feels… it's beyond anything you could ever imagine, Cissy; it's almost mouthwatering. Oh, you can't even begin to imagine all the disgusting little things I've made her do…"
"Stop it!" Narcissa exclaimed, shoving her sister as hard as she could manage. She had enough of this. "Do you think I don't know what happened when we were children? Do you think I don't know why? Why are you trying to relive the past? You have me, Bella; it's over."
Narcissa's back collided into the wall with so much force that it winded her. Bellatrix pinned her arms to her sides, faced etched in anger as she hissed dangerously, "You don't know anything." Narcissa winced from the force of her sister's grip, yet stayed silent. She didn't want to provoke her further. "You're the center of everyone's fucking universe, Cissy; especially your own. Haven't you noticed? You're aware of nothing and nobody around you until you find you need them for something. You're a like a sodding leech; sucking us dry of all the affection you know you could never truly deserve, yet we give you without question. That's the true definition of masochism."
Bellatrix laughed. It sounded cruel, hollow. Yet it was the sadness behind it that sliced Narcissa to pieces.
"Did you think we wouldn't notice? Huh? Us, who would have gladly bled ourselves dry should it have made you happy?" Her eyes were wild, like an animal stalking their prey. "But did you care? No. You've never been able to, have you? You never once saw me, or her, or anyone! Even when I fucked you, even when I finally thought you had seen me… it was all lies, wasn't it? You didn't see me; all you saw was your own sodding reflection in my eyes. I wonder… is that the only way you can ever see yourself, Cissy? Are you even real, or are you just a part of some fucked up dream…?"
Narcissa couldn't speak. She was so shocked by her sister's words that she barely remembered to breathe. Her mouth merely hung open, disbelief etched over every inch of her face as she stared at her sister. That couldn't be what Bellatrix truly thought of her, could it? Could she really believe she was that horrible? Paranoid delusion or not, she made her out to sound like some kind of monster and it made Narcissa want to vomit.
"What…?" Narcissa finally managed to utter, voice barely above a whisper as she tried to make sense of what just happened. "Bella, no… no. I saw you, I see you." It broke her heart to see how badly she had hurt her sister, even if she did not intend to do so. Narcissa looked at her with soft eyes as she cupped Bellatrix's cheek possessively. "When you touched me you were the only thing that existed, how could you not know that? You breathed fire into me and ignited my soul… how could I ever ignore that?"
Narcissa's hand slipped backwards to tangle in dark curls, pulling the broken woman towards her. She kissed her fiercely, needing her to understand that even though she may be selfish at times, that didn't mean she disregarded the people who truly loved her. She needed them to breathe, to live, to feel. And oh, how Bellatrix could make her feel. Her passion ran deeper than anyone Narcissa had ever known, her love for her making her feel whole again, if even for a moment.
The feeling was short lasting.
It took a moment, but Bellatrix's insanity proved it would not easily be sedated and Narcissa was furiously pushed off of her. "You're a contamination," Bellatrix spat. The blonde felt as though she had been slapped and her eyes welled up with tears, yet she would not let them fall. Not for her, not for anyone. It was perhaps, the only bit of pride she had left in her anymore. "I would have burned this world to the ground for you, stripped the flesh off my sodding bones for you. You took everything I had and left me with nothing. Tell me, Cissy; was it worth it?"
Narcissa felt as though she was on trial for a crime she didn't commit. She had no idea where Bellatrix was getting her evidence from and it nearly frustrated her to tears.
"I don't understand what you're talking about!" she cried miserably. "Are you angry that I slept with you, because I thought that was what you always wanted!"
"No, you ignorant little twit," Bellatrix spat furiously, her face etched with the pain of rejection. "I wanted you to love me. Instead, you used me because I was convenient, because your precious little Lucius was gone and you needed someone to worship the fucking ground you walked on."
Narcissa stared at her disbelievingly. Even still, guilt began to weigh heavy in her chest. Perhaps on some level, Bellatrix was right. Maybe she did use her.
But that didn't mean she didn't love her.
"I do love you, Bella…" she tried, though her voice was weak. Narcissa knew her sister wouldn't believe her. She wasn't sure if she even believed herself anymore.
Was she caught up in her sister's delusion, or was this the reality she was born to?
"You love yourself," Bellatrix corrected dangerously. The look of contempt on her face tore Narcissa to pieces. A step back was taken, the finality in destroying something both once thought to be unbreakable. Perhaps Andromeda had been right; maybe blood really did mean nothing to Bellatrix, in the end. "If you touch me again, I'll rip your sodding tits off and force-feed them to your bastard of a son until he chokes to death on your miserable existence. Is that clear enough for you, Malfoy? You've fucked with me for the last time."
Narcissa couldn't catch her breath. She felt as though she couldn't see, even though she was staring right in front of her. Somehow she found herself on the ground, the wisps of black smoke from her sister's departure choking the last remaining bit of life from her lungs. The tears finally fell from Narcissa's eyes and she buried her face in her hands, resting her head against the wall as she screamed her pain into the empty room.
She was alone. She would always be alone.
How did this happen? Why did this always happen? Was what Bellatrix said true; did she know how to do nothing else other than selfishly take the love they offered her? It wasn't as though she didn't care, but perhaps it wasn't enough; would never be enough. Maybe she really was nothing but a shell; trying to fill the void inside of her by taking anything someone offered her, sucking them dry until they had nothing more to give.
But then why did they love her? How could they?
Narcissa sat up straight, sorrow forgotten and quickly replaced by a feeling of dread. Andromeda. What had Bellatrix done with her? Scrambling to her feet, Narcissa violently wiped the remaining tears from her eyes. "Andi?" she called, taking the stairs two at a time. "Andi!"
Narcissa pushed her sister's bedroom door open with such force that it banged against the far wall. Someone yelped in surprise. It took a moment, but through her panic Narcissa's eyes finally landed on her sister and she nearly collapsed with relief. "Thank Merlin, I thought she had—" but she stopped mid-sentence, realizing Andromeda wasn't exactly alright; her clothing was disheveled and torn, a large bruise beginning to darken on her cheek. Her hands were tied to the far bottom post of the bed, forcing her to a kneeling position on the floor.
"I'm fine," Andromeda insisted, merely looking embarrassed to be found in such a state. "It's worse than it looks, honestly. We both know she isn't fond of betrayal, so I suppose it was only to be expected…"
Narcissa couldn't believe the words coming from her sister's mouth. Was she making excuses for Bellatrix? What had happened to her family?!
Narcissa wasn't sure if Bellatrix's claims were based in delusions or not, but one thing she was certain about was that both of her sisters had lied to her; there was more to their relationship than they let on. Which, considering Narcissa was convinced that they had no relationship nor contact for more than half their life, wasn't exactly hard to do. Regardless, Narcissa wasn't fond of being lied to.
Especially after being brutally forced through emotional carnage.
Narcissa's gaze flickered to her sister's torn clothing. "Did she rape you?"
Andromeda shook her head.
It was hard, to keep the accusatory tone from her voice during her next question. Narcissa's arms crossed across her chest, fingers squeezing previously bruised flesh to remind her to keep calm. "Has she ever?"
Andromeda's gaze snapped up to meet hers, surprise etched on her face at the question. Narcissa kept her face neutral, yet stared intently at her. She needed to know.
The silence seemed to stretch on forever.
"All I ever wanted to do was protect you, Narcissa; you know that," Andromeda started, her voice strong although tinted with shame; perhaps merely from getting caught. "Maybe I could have gone about that by telling you the truth, but I stand by what I did. It was a complicated situation and at the time you wouldn't have understood."
Narcissa could feel each individual muscle in her body tensing with anger. Once she believed that Andromeda was her only sister who would never hurt her. Now she finds she had been lied to for nearly all of her life.
"So instead you let me believe my sister was a rapist?" she screamed, fury pouring from every fiber of her being. "You led me to believe that you allowed her to rape you, use you as some kind of constant distraction, so that she wouldn't rape me? Why? So you could come out looking like some kind of hero? What the fuck kind of person are you, Andromeda?!"
"I might have bent the truth, but I am no liar!" Andromeda responded angrily, pulling at the ties that bound her. Narcissa had absolutely no desire to let her loose though, not after that. "Bellatrix told me she was afraid she would! Alright? Neither of us wanted that so yes, I allowed her to fuck me so it'd sate her desire to. I merely told you it was against my will because I was ashamed; can't you understand that? I was a child, Cissa."
"You're not now!" Narcissa exclaimed. "Both of you have had years to tell me the truth, yet neither of you did. Instead you kept shagging each other behind my back, having me believe that our family was still so torn apart. I was forbidden to speak to you, Andi. Do you understand that? The both of you— you've always…" Her voice caught in her throat, emotion welling up in her chest. Narcissa felt robbed of the childhood she was meant to have. "You've always hated one another. For years I was the one stuck in the middle. I was the one who was constantly told they were mental for loving the both of you. You and Bella made me feel like shit for caring about the other, and yet I find you two have been fucking for over half of your sodding life?! What the hell is wrong with you two?"
Narcissa was finally beginning to understand Bellatrix's desire to tear the world apart.
"I told you, it's complicated—" Andromeda, at least, had the decency to look ashamed.
"Then uncomplicate it!"
Narcissa was nearing the end of her rope; her voice was a fitful shriek as she grasped her sister's satin curtain that hung from the nearest window fiercely in one hand. A crash shortly followed; she had torn the rod right from its base. She barely noticed though; she had merely lashed out and found the closest thing to destroy. It didn't feel nearly as good as she expected it to.
Andromeda took a hesitant breath. It was obvious she had never thought her tryst with Bellatrix would be exposed, least of all to Narcissa. "I'll answer anything you want me to," she responded finally. "But please, untie me first?" She held her wrists up to Narcissa, reminding her that she was still forcefully bound to the bedpost. "Being in this position for so long is causing my leg to cramp up. Please."
Narcissa chewed on the inside of her cheek, eyes narrowing as she stared at her sister. She didn't have much desire to let her go, no. She was still infuriated with Andromeda for all the lies. She was still so emotionally destroyed by Bellatrix's farewell. She still had the desire to tear everything to fucking pieces.
If she were to be honest, the answer would be that Narcissa hated that she couldn't understand why this all happened in the first place. Bellatrix angrily spat a theory in her face, yet with her it could have been nothing more than paranoid delusion.
But what if it wasn't?
"I'll let you go if you honestly, honestly," Narcissa emphasized, "answer one question for me."
She might as well ask.
Andromeda, believing she had nothing to lose at this point, did not hesitate to agree. But as Narcissa crossed the room to stand next to her, needing to see the honesty or lie in her sister's eyes as she answered the question, Andromeda began to shift in her seat a little nervously. The heaviness of the question was already weighing down the silence that preceded it.
Narcissa crouched down in front of her sister, her eyes never leaving Andromeda's. Perhaps Bellatrix was mad, but perhaps not. Either way, she was going to find out right now. "Are you in love with me?" she questioned softly, her hand resting on Andromeda's knee; both as an apology and a comfort. Her sister looked like she was about to vomit from anxiety.
The silence ate Narcissa alive.
"I haven't seen you for a long time," Andromeda began softly. She couldn't look her sister in the eye. "I'm not sure what it is I feel anymore."
Narcissa's breath caught in her throat. "But you… did at one point?" She needed to know the answer; a real, yes or no answer. Andromeda still wouldn't look at her.
The response was barely above a whisper.
Narcissa stared at her. How could it be that she had never known? And how could Andromeda have just left her like that, barely spoke to her for decades, if she loved her? What was wrong with their family; were they always so emotionally stunted, or was this something that began when they fell apart?
Narcissa reached up and began to undo the ties that bound her sister. So many questions ran through her head and she was unsure of which she should ask first. It was overwhelming, to find that she had perceived most of what went on in her life wrong. "If you loved me, why did you leave…?" Narcissa finally asked, finding that to be the most important thing to inquire about right then. It hurt her heart.
What kind of love was that, really?
Andromeda let out a soft sigh, looking so defeated and exposed. She still would not look Narcissa in the eye. She rubbed her wrists as she replied, "You know why I left: Ted."
"Where is he?" Narcissa asked, finally being given the opportunity to voice that out loud. She had found it strange that he was not there.
Andromeda pursed her lips, then shook her head softly. "I used to meet Bella elsewhere for our…" she couldn't even say the word. Andromeda sighed, then shrugged lightly. "Then one day she showed up here. Nearly every week following it, in the dead of night, she would apparate into my bedroom and wait for me. I had tried to keep where I lived a secret for as long as I could, but she eventually found me. Part of me always knew she would. So Ted… he can't be here, for his own safety. If Bellatrix saw him, she'd kill him. It's easier for her to ignore my indiscretions if they're not in her face, you see…"
Narcissa could hear the sadness in her sister's voice that she was forced away from her husband, and it killed her inside. She could relate.
"You think we lied to you all these years, about our feelings for one another?" Andromeda continued, finally glancing upwards to look at her. "The sad thing is, we still hate each other. We look at each other and get physically ill. But it never stops. By the time I left the family to marry Ted, we were already in too deep. It had become routine; a safe plan to keep ourselves distracted… so that we wouldn't desire you."
Narcissa wasn't sure if she should feel guilty for unknowingly putting her sisters in a position they both despised, or angry that she was being blamed when she didn't do it on purpose.
"I cut you out of my life for my own sanity, Cissa. I had thought that if I did, my feelings would eventually fade away. But it was really Bellatrix who should have done that, out of the two of us. I knew, I knew that the moment she slept with you that it would destroy her. She could never emotionally handle the rejection of the only love she had ever felt."
"I do love her!" Narcissa protested loudly.
Andromeda merely shook her head sadly. "Not in the way she loves you. Not in the way I loved you. We both knew you never could, but Bellatrix had always refused to accept it. Which is why I left and she couldn't be strong enough to do the same. Unlike myself, Bellatrix could have never handled being used in that way; which was a big part of the reason I continued to see her, even after I had already left. I was afraid of what she would do to you should that happen."
Like completely cut her out of her life? That hurt more than any physical blow she could have dealt. Narcissa's heart squeezed in her chest and she tried not to think about it. Perhaps her sister would come round… one day. She certainly never meant to hurt her in that way, couldn't Bellatrix see that?
Narcissa was silent as she replayed Andromeda's explanation in her head over and over. Despite being completely mental, it made sense… in a way. Still, Narcissa felt so betrayed over how they handled it. Could they have not just told her how they felt? Perhaps it was a bit unorthodox, but they were purebloods; sexual relations between family members weren't completely unheard of. Maybe if they had just been honest with her, Narcissa wouldn't have grown up feeling completely torn in half by the care she had for both of her sisters.
And it was completely fucked… because her life was only like that because of the care both of them held for her.
Something Andromeda said though, struck something inside of Narcissa.
"…'Unlike you'?" she asked softly, looking at her sister in question. "Did you not leave for that exact reason, Andi; you feared that you would be used by me?"
Why did both of her sisters feel she was so incapable of emotion? Couldn't she just feel something and have it be looked at as genuine for once? Used… Narcissa would never intentionally use either of them. When she slept with Bellatrix, it was supposed to be about the connection she thought they both needed. Why did it matter what level it was on? Couldn't they have just enjoyed being with someone who cared for them?
Maybe it didn't work that way for everyone.
"Once I felt that way, yes," Andromeda answered softly. She shrugged, exhaling as she allowed herself to let go of the desire to fight her feelings any longer. "But I've gotten too old to continue allowing my fear to run my life. I've missed you… more than words could ever describe, Cissa." Her hand slipped over Narcissa's and the blonde grasped it fiercely. She missed Andromeda too; more than anything. It wasn't fair that they had to be apart. "So if you use me in the end, it's worth it. I lived too much of my life without you already. Despite never being able to give back that which you take, you're still the most perfect person I've ever met in my life, Narcissa."
An emotion Narcissa could never hope to describe welled up inside of her. After all the pain in her life, in this day, what Andromeda said to her could not have been more beautiful. She needed something wonderful in her life, even if it was just for a moment. Even if in the end, it was selfish.
So without thought, she leaned in and kissed her.
Perhaps it was masochistic of all of the Blacks; the way they felt for each other, the way they took from one another. It was never real in the way any of them wanted it to be, because they all felt so differently towards each other. Still, that didn't stop Andromeda from responding to the kiss.
Hands tangled in blonde hair as their teeth crashed together, the urgency behind the kiss that Andromeda had been waiting her whole life for causing it to be sloppy, needy, and desperate. But Narcissa didn't care. She could practically feel the emotion pouring from her sister and it wrapped her up, surrounded her with all the love and care Narcissa needed in that moment. She reveled in it. She wanted to drown in it.
Narcissa grasped at Andromeda's robes, pulling her down on top of her. The wood paneling of the floor felt cool against her back, contrasting with the warmth of her sister against her chest. Her hands grasped Andromeda's face as she devoured her mouth, nails pressing into her cheeks possessively as Narcissa sought to claim her in this moment. "Use me," she gasped against her lips. "Take what you've always wanted of me, I beg of you…"
Andromeda's pupils were black with lust. Narcissa was spread out beneath her, begging to be taken; it was a fantasy she had dreamed of for nearly all of her life. Still, would it make anything better between them; between all of them? Probably not, yet after all these years it seemed Andromeda could no longer find it in her to care anymore. She tore at Narcissa's clothing, prompting a gasp from the woman below her.
"It won't make it better, you know," Andromeda panted against her lips. Her hand slid up her thigh, grasping onto the flesh she had only ever hoped to dream of as she forcefully pulled her legs apart. The scent of Narcissa's arousal intoxicated her. "The emptiness inside of you, it won't ever be sated this way. No matter how much you take, you'll never feel whole."
Narcissa was beginning to learn that, but it made no difference in that moment. She took her sister's hand in hers, forcing it to the apex between her thighs. Even through her knickers, Andromeda could tell she was dripping. A moan fell from her lips and Narcissa smiled. "Perhaps not," she answered breathlessly. "But I could never imagine anything more satisfying than the feeling of you filling me, even if the belief of my completion would be nothing other than a lie."
Andromeda's hand slipped beneath her sister's knickers, the warmth she found there consuming her whole.
"It'll destroy us."
"We're already destroyed," Narcissa breathed before pulling Andromeda to her, their lips connecting in an eruption of unprecedented passion that the blonde ached to feel. Her back arched as Andromeda's fingers slid inside of her, the throaty moan that followed being devoured by her sister's mouth. She grabbed for Andromeda, pressing herself so closely that she could feel the beat of her heart against her own. They would never beat the same, but still they complimented each other so well.
"Tell me you love me," Narcissa begged, fingernails digging into the back of her sister's neck. She cried out as Andromeda's fingers twisted inside of her, her head flinging to the side as her eyes screwed tightly shut. She shuddered.
"No," Andromeda whispered against her ear, her lips fluttering past the pale, exposed skin of the blonde's neck. "That is one thing I will never allow you to take from me." She bit down. Narcissa screamed, her hips forcing Andromeda to go deeper inside of her.
Perhaps that was her sister's way of breaking her heart, because Narcissa was sure the reasons she was doing this with her was breaking Andromeda's.
Narcissa wanted to feel loved. Andromeda wanted to be loved. This way, neither of them got what they wanted. It was an appropriately cruel solution to an even crueler situation. Yet they both ate it up like it was the answer to everything they had ever wanted.
Narcissa clawed at the ground as she cried out. Desperation, pain, need, lust, love. It all blurred together and consumed her entire being as she held on tightly to the one person who was, in that moment, making her feel them all. No, it was not the wholeness Narcissa sought, but it was doing a good job of it for now. The pit of her stomach burned with her oncoming orgasm and she screamed Andromeda's name, her hand tangling in her hair as she began to believe that letting go might just cause her to fall clear through the earth.
She didn't care.
Andromeda milked the pleasure right from her very soul, filling the room with the sounds of Narcissa's whimpering need as she began to convulse in her arms. As Andromeda held her close, allowing her to ride out the aftershocks of her ecstasy, she whispered in her ear, "I'll save your son. I'll take both of you away, far from the Dark Lord's reach."
Emotion welled up in Narcissa's eyes. She had thought perhaps Andromeda did not care about that. How foolish she was to ever believe her sister could've had it in her to not care about her pain. "Is there such a place?" she asked, voice vulnerable and tiny.
"The Order will find one," Andromeda promised. "I swear to you, Draco will be safe."
Narcissa reached up, cupping her sister's cheek possessively. "I'll make it worth your while," she responded meaningfully. "I'll be yours every day, should you have me." To save her son, that meant more to Narcissa than anything anyone could ever hope to do.
Andromeda shook her head. "I don't want your body as payment, Cissa. You're worth more than that. I'm just sorry you don't think so."
Narcissa pursed her lips. She felt so much, yet couldn't describe it. So she tried with, "I love you," even though she knew it was the wrong thing to say.
"No, you don't," Andromeda replied sadly, brushing a piece of fallen blonde hair behind her ear. "But you love your son, and I would be mad to not save the only relationship that has ever held true meaning in your life."
Maybe that was it. The only relationship that ever held true meaning. Narcissa had been craving love, when all along she had had it. Maybe it wasn't in the form she had always felt she needed, but it was there.
But even knowing that, would that stop her from pursuing it in other ways? Probably not. Because if the Black sisters knew only one thing in life, it was how to crave the one thing that they would never have.
Pain was in their blood.
- FIN -